or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2009 - 2012 › October 2011 › Chat Thread: 11/20-11/26
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Chat Thread: 11/20-11/26 - Page 5

post #81 of 170

I've decided that people just can't say anything nice.  We walked to a diner for breakfast this morning, baby in Moby.  We got seated, started chatting with the waitress.  A customer comes over and joins in, doing the usual thing of how cute she is, how quickly they grow up, etc.  The customer then asks how old she is.  I say seven weeks.  She asked if she was a preemie.  I told her no, she was full term.  She says she looks small, asks what she weighs.  I told her seven pounds as of last week.  She then asks me what is wrong with her.  I started to feel defensive and said that nothing was wrong with her.  Then I get "you must not feed her.  It is important for babies to eat, you know.  A lot of 'young' parents worry about their baby getting fat, and you really shouldn't worry about that.  Have you thought about a special formula?"  Really?  It is important for them to eat?  I had no idea.  Fortunately the waitress interjected that she nephew was little, breastfed, and a perfectly healthy five year old.  She also commented that if the baby was in fact hungry she wouldn't be sitting quietly in her carrier and looking around, she'd be crying.  

So you compliment my baby, then decide that in your expert opinion something is wrong with her, figure I must be NEGLECTING her, and start making recommendations as to what I should feed her.  Based off a couple minutes.  Grrrr...

My godmom finally came to meet the baby, her girls absolutely love her.  It was a great visit.  And she slept ten hours last night.  Eight hours the night before.  Awesomeness.  We really got lucky with this kid, I was expecting full nights for AT LEAST another month or two. 

 

Starling: YAY poop.  It is nerve wracking.  You know it can be a while, but how long is it until it is a problem for your baby?  And what if you counted wrong.  Smart guy, making efficient use of the disposable diaper.  :)

 

Not_Telling-I love that outfit.  

 

Leihas: Those are so fabulous looking pies!  

 

Pi: I hope things get figured out.  It is very hard to know something about someone close to you that you aren't supposed to know, especially when they are in trouble.  

post #82 of 170

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by tank View Post

 

I was worried about our first family holiday together mostl because my partner and I don't really celebrate holidays all that much and now that we have a child I feel like it is more important.  We ended up going over a friends house and it was just our family of 3 and theirs of 4 and it was really nice.  Pretty much like hanging out only there was a lot of food involved.  I love my family but I am glad they aren't super close and we are not obligated to do the huge family thing.  We are big into Halloween and are from the Halloween capital so we plan on going up there every Halloween and spending time with family then. It is actually perfect since although DS wasn't born on halloween his birthday is pretty close to it so he can see family for his birthday every year.

its a good idea to talk over your vision for how you might celebrate holidays as your little one grows and begins to have awareness of these festival markings of the passage of time... though the conversation will be ongoing and things will change,,, but you have a chance to have new traditions with your new family. Repeat some things perhaps from your family of origin, but to do things in different ways too. And then also, how to interface with your other family (b/c they will still send gifts, cards, come visit, etc).
 

 

post #83 of 170

Thanks emma, that is good advice.  Honestly I don't know how to handle holidays well and my partner definatly doesn't either but we want to do at least something.  My immediate family are athiests and that is how we were raised but we still celebrated Christmas/Easter and such in a relaxed manner.  My partner was raised by both is grandmother and was in foster homes and such so he never did the big family holidays either.  I think it is important to have traditions we just aren't sure what they will be yet.

 

Livacreature what that woman said to you is absolutely awful.  I can't believe the nerve of some people, seriously.  I would have slapped her.  I totally would have gone into defense mode as well and probably said something really mean to her.

 

My little man is sick and it is making me really sad.  I am not suprised because I have been sick since I left the hosptial but his doctor said he probably won't get it.  The poor kid is all snotty.  He hasn't had a fever and is still eating and acting alert so I haven't called his dr.  I don't really think I need to but in the back of my brain I feel like a bad mom for not calling kwim?  I know that there is nothing he can take and all I can do is keep him well hydrated and suck our his nose and make sure he doesn't get a fever. 

post #84 of 170

Tank, this year is our first year doing holidays "our way"--and we've been married 11 years (or in 1 month it will be 11 years.) We're still trying to figure out how we want it to be, but the doors are wide open.

 

Starling, that's amazing timing.

 

Livacreature, sorry you got slimed by that woman.

 

Time for the inlaws to go bye-bye. They've been here almost a week, and it's been ok, but my ds is going around every other minute asking, "who can play with me now?" and I dread tomorrow when it's just me, him and the baby. Also, MIL has staged her usual takeover of my kitchen, which wouldn't be so bad if she was not crazy, but she's crazy and was a home-ec major and is really overwhelmingly anal that I have steam coming out my ears every time she finds her way into that room!

post #85 of 170

just have a quick min. to pop in.

We had our 6 wk appt. yesterday. I am really really sad as this is probably our last baby so our last mw appointment ever!!! I have been working with her for the most part of the last year and a half so it was just sad. She took her time with us and wasn't rushed and just chatted. It was nice. Saphira is 10lbs 4 oz so she has gained 2 lbs from her lowest weight and looks to be doing well.

We are concerned that she isn't responding to noises like I remember my others doing. She doesn't startle at all andyou can come from behind and clap behind her ears and she just sits there. My mw said that they usually do respond at this point so we should do a hearing screan. Hope to get that scheduled sometime in the new year. It could be that she can't hear or that there is just so much noise she has tuned it all out.

So I had mentioned here that my mw said my placenta was the biggest she had seen well it has been trumped. But it really isn't fare to compare since the baby was 11lbs 4oz!!!!!! so 2 1/2 lbs bigger than my 8lb 10oz baby no wonder the placenta was huge. She had her vaginally at home in 6 hrs and this was her first. Holy moly!!!

 

 

post #86 of 170

livacreature - wow, some people are just ridiculous! Oh & I am TOTALLY jealous of the long night stretches you're getting! How fabulous!

 

tank - it is just no fun when they get sick. Dd is snuffly right now & sometimes at night I just feel so bad for her. Oddly I am the only one around here who hasn't suffered much with this cold - despite the little sleep I'm getting I barely got a sniffle.

 

rosemary - sometimes when people "help" it just doesn't feel like it, eh? Glad the visit has been ok though.

 

theboysmama - I hope the hearing test is ok. I think when they are used to a lot of noise they just don't get as easily startled. It's hard not to worry though.

 

afm - baby girl is having a rough time in the evenings/nights. We had two ok nights & I thought maybe we had turned a corner but then last night we were up until 2:30 again & she was truly, truly miserable. 5.5 hours of screaming & crying intermixed with fitful periods of nursing & short crashes (she's fall asleep for 10 minutes from exhaustion & then wake up screaming again). Last night was definitely the worst screaming we've had in awhile. I just wish I knew what triggers it. Got some gripe water today just in case but I have little faith it will help. Looks like another rough night tonight as the fussing has already started & she had a giant long sleep this afternoon/early evening. Dh is home tomorrow.

post #87 of 170

Lifeguard, we have the same problem in the evenings. The Sears baby book says that evening colic is quite common. My DD seems screams terribly and tenses up like she is in pain, but I have no idea why. She settles for a short while and then very suddenly starts up again. We certainly haven't totally fixed it, more just surviving at this point. Things that have helped is a tight swaddle, lots of walking while swinging her to and fro followed by the rocking chair until she is really out, static on the radio near her bassinet, and waiting a good 20-30 minutes after she appears to be asleep to set her down. I really have to focus on finding opportunities to feed her because once she gets worked up she won't eat, and then it's a vicious cycle of waking due to hunger and being too cranky to eat. I've found that when she is sleeping in the evening I wake her before she totally wakes herself to catch her drowsy and get some good long nursing time in before the screaming hour starts. I REALLY can't wait for this to resolve. The nights get soooo long.

post #88 of 170

babydust - soooooo long.

post #89 of 170

For those of you with babies who are really fussy in the evenings, have you thought about whether they might be overstimulated?  My 2nd DS, I've recently discovered, is *very* sensitive to audio and visual input.  He literally gets headaches from school, just from all the business around him (especially when there's an assembly or something "big" like that).  And our Thanksgiving weekend with 25 people gave him headaches, too- he had to go sit down in the basement when everyone started singing Christmas carols around the piano, to escape the noise (I know, lol, so Little Women of us all!). 

 

Anyway, a few months back I started reading more about sensitive children, and the book I was reading talked a good long bit about extra sensitive babies, and I remember it was saying how they tend to really cry an awful lot at the end of the day, because they've just gotten completely overloaded and the crying is the only way they know how to deal with it. After reading about it, I realized that DS really did have that tendency as a baby, though I had conveniently forgotten about it.  If you think it might be a problem with your babies, I'd see what I could do about reducing the stimulation they get throughout the day, and see if that helps.

post #90 of 170

Interesting Leiahs - although short of getting rid of ds I'm not sure how I would do that - lol. He is most definitely the biggest source of stimulation in all of our lives right now!!!

post #91 of 170

Hi everyone!  wave.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by livacreature View Post

Envision, woman in monkey pajama pants, mismatched slippers, baby in moby, nursing, opens the door to grab the mail out of the doorside box.  Two cats weighing at least 14 pounds a piece go running out the front door, opposite directions, one towards a heavily trafficked road, the other towards a very high fence and other obstacles.  She goes right, trying to support the baby's head.  moby's aren't for running after all.  Pounces on the one heading towards traffic, puts him under her arm pit.  Doubles back, uses cat to support baby in moby, tackles the other cat before he darts under an opening.  Juggles two hissing, scratching beasts back to the house, only to find front door is locked.  Woman walks around house, enters the back.  Sits down and sobs, while baby somehow finished nursing and fell into a restful slumber.

 

This made my day.  SO AWESOME!  biglaugh.gif
 

Moby: I used it when DD1 was newborn and liked it, but yes, there's a learning curve - tie it super tight!!  I got a ring sling with DD1 was about 4 months old and never looked back - it's all I've used with Claire this time around.  I just find it so much easier because you can readjust anytime and anywhere.  Also, I found the moby loosened when I sat down in it, which was no good for trips on the bus!

 

Leiahs:  PIE PORN!!  That is amazing!

 

Pi:  Ugh :(  Is the situation serious enough that it will become family knowledge soon enough and put you out of your misery?  :(


livacreature:  The nerve of people!!!  DD1 was also quite small  and we totally got comments about it (NOTHING as obnoxious as your experience though!).   Now we are having the opposite experience with Claire.  People are so %@$#! rude when you have a big baby!  DH's cousin is pregnant and we saw her when Claire was about 1.5 weeks old.  She looked at Claire and said "Oh my god, she IS huge!  I mean, that's just a monster! I hope I don't get one like THAT!"  Now...I know I'm an overly sensitive mama bear and she didn't really mean "monster", but seriously!  Bitch, shut your mouth!  She's also a smoker who hasn't quit and is probably going to have some poor, scrawny, sickly little baby  and be thrilled it isn't HUGE like mine  disappointed.gif

 

Then my SIL called the other day and says "Wow, Claire is HUGE!  Funny, OUR side of the family is so petite......."  Right.  

 

AFM:  we're still getting lots of sleep around here - Claire is still pretty sleepy, so I'm only having to get up with her once at night  Waiting for that to change any day now!

 

 I've given up on the breastfeeding.  It was exciting and we had a few signs of success but in the end, there just wasn't enough supply to keep her interested and she was frustrated and would just scream instead of nursing.  I could pump about max 4oz a day but that was it.  I had promised myself to prioritize sanity this time, and if a vallient attempt + domperidone didn't give me at least 1/2 of what we needed to feed her, I wasn't going to go crazy trying this time.   So, I have been casually pumping and will just take what I can get without worrying about it.  I am thrilled we had as much success as we did - she certainly got FAR more than I was able to produce with DD1.  Maybe by the time I have my sixth baby I will be a veritable fountain of milk.  

 

Otherwise, she is doing so well.  She will be  4 weeks old tomorrow!  She is a lovely, easy baby just like her sister.  She is starting to slim out a little- her cheeks are starting to become more in proportion, haha!  But she's already wearing 3 month clothing  and I haven't even switched her into her cloth diapers yet - that will bump her pants up another size!  I really need to do that this week!  She' starting to smile more and more, and chat with us.  DD is still utterly smitten with her.  I couldn't have asked for a better adjustment from her - she just completely accepted the baby and her needs.  

 

I lost some weird amount of weight post-baby.  Not sure how much but all my pre-preg clothes are too big! wtf??

 

We're ridiculously excited about Christmas around here.  DD is 2.5 and totally gung ho.  We're decorating a little each day to spread out the fun.  The Christmas music is on full rotation.  Advent is wrapped up and ready to go.  So much fun.  My SIL is always talking about how she feels sorry for us (and people with children in general) because she can't imagine having to give up her travelling and hobbies and free time etc.  I feel sorry for HER - having little people makes even everyday things so much fun and so full of joy, it far outweighs our old freedom.  Besides, we have lots of life ahead of us to go back to our travelling etc.

 

ok, I need to get our day rolling - it's almost 10am and we're still in our jammies!

 

blowkiss.gif

 

 


Edited by Katico - 11/28/11 at 5:59am
post #92 of 170

the sensory issues are a really good point. It is possible to minimize stimulation even in a stimulating environment.

Things that we do:

Have a designated nap/quiet time during the day (it is 1/12 to 2 hrs), get out of the house before nap someplace active (swinging and climbing can be good to calm their "engine"). Calming ds will help calm the environment:). A quiet activity afte rest (coloring, helping prepare dinner, etc) then another run around time before dinner. After dinner keep the activity down; no screaming, no running, no tickeling, etc. Then a very structured bed time routine (even for the baby). a relaxing bath (maybe add lavendar) (don't allow screaming or splashing), books (make sure to set a limit (2 is good for us) and always read that ammount so they know what to expect. Then a snuggle and get the older one down then keep things mellow and decide when you want the baby to go down. I think you said she stays up till 1 or 2 am? Start by putting her to bed earlier each night. Also wake her up from her aftenoon/evening nap earlier each day. Idealy you don't want her sleeping after 4pm. None of these ideas are a cure all but I find that they have helped us out a lot.

post #93 of 170
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katico View Post

 

livacreature:  The nerve of people!!!  DD1 was also quite small  and we totally got comments about it (NOTHING as obnoxious as your experience though!).   Now we are having the opposite experience with Claire.  People are so %@$#! rude when you have a big baby!  DH's cousin is pregnant and we saw her when Claire was about 1.5 weeks old.  She looked at Claire and said "Oh my god, she IS huge!  I mean, that's just a monster! I hope I don't get one like THAT!"  Now...I know I'm an overly sensitive mama bear and she didn't really mean "monster", but seriously!  Bitch, shut your mouth!  She's also a smoker who hasn't quit and is probably going to have some poor, scrawny, sickly little baby  and be thrilled it isn't HUGE like mine  disappointed.gif

 

Then my SIL called the other day and says "Wow, Claire is HUGE!  Funny, OUR side of the family is so petite......."  Right.  

 

 

See?  They can't be nice!  She is so flipping cute, yet people act alarmed that she was born a bit above the curve.  Did people miss the day in kindergarten when they taught uf you can't say something nice, don't say anything?  
 

 

post #94 of 170

Fussy babies - I feel like I shouldn't even complain about DD cuz her nighttime fussing isn't nearly as bad as what some of you are going through.  She did keep us up for about 1.5 hours at the beginning of "sleep time" last night, and then had us up for about an hour in the middle of the night.  She does this thing I call "fake nursing" - last night I nursed her when we got in bed.  Then she fussed for over an hour.  I offer the boob again.  She latches on and either nurses just enough to trigger the let-down or doesn't even trigger the let-down, and  then falls asleep.  After this "fake nursing" she's somehow finally able to go to sleep.  But it's not just the sucking that does it cuz during all the fussy time she repeatedly sucks on my pinky finger...but it doesn't help her go to sleep.

 

Things People Say - Just "oy!"  I haven't had to deal with much of that, thankfully, but it sure  would make me defensive and annoyed.

 

Cloth diapers - we switched to our cloth a few weeks ago...except for overnight when we will still use sposies.  We're having issues with leaking/wicking covers, though.  Not sure if the issue is the covers or us.  We were using DiaperWraps covers, but found that we got a lot of leg hole leaks...the one little bit of the gusset that wasn't PUL would immediately start wicking.  We bought a couple small size Thirsties (which is what we've been using for DS for the past year), and it's a bit better, but we still need to change diapers every 2 hours max or the same thing happens.  So, is it that the covers are flawed or that our expectations for how often we change the diaper are flawed?  I'm thinking perhaps the latter.  Certainly I know it's good to get the wet diapers off ASAP to help prevent rashes, but sometimes those 2 hours really fly by...

 

AFM - Just went shopping crazy at zulily.com....they were having sale boutiques of Zutano and Kate Quinn's Violet & Moss lines...got stuff for DS and DD.  Now I gotta figure out what we're having for dinner...craving something vegetarian...


Edited by not_telling - 11/29/11 at 6:04am
post #95 of 170

Child is a boob-a-holic.  Last night was payback for the awesome week we had.  She didn't sleep more than 45 minutes at a time.  Today, she has to be latched (not necessarily feeding) or she will scream like banshee.  Tried a pacifier, even tried an expressed bottle, but she just screamed.  Not sure what is going on with her.  I'm all for nursing on demand, but she has been on me for the past six hours.  With only pee breaks and diaper changes/screaming fits. 

 

Also did some negotiations at work that will allow us not to have to use daycare while still maintaining fulltime status.  We'll see how it goes.  I feel better about leaving her with her daddy then strangers, but I still don't love the idea.  I do miss it.  Sigh.  I will only be away four hours a few times a week and then an eight hour shift on the weekends.  The rest will be at home.

post #96 of 170

Malcolm was screaming at me practically all morning (which of course made me very much empathize with all the mamas of fussy babies), but for whatever reason, he always calms down as soon as I put him in my sling.  I had to wear him pretty much all day yesterday (standing, not sitting!  No, sitting is evil!), and it's looking like a repeat of that for today.  I'm so grateful that the sling works like magic, though.... I can't imagine living through the nothing-else-works screaming, otherwise!  As for annoying comments, I haven't gotten any about baby's size, but plenty about my sling.  One lady at church in particular always says something about how my back must absolutely kill me.  I keep trying to tell her that it's easier to hold him for a long time in the carrier than just in my arms, but she seems completely unconvinced.  Thankfully, it's balanced by people who can't seem to stop saying how adorable he looks in there, and how happy and comfy, and how they wish they had something like this when they were a mom!

 

Now, off to fluff the artificial Christmas tree while babywearing.  ;)

post #97 of 170
Quote:
Originally Posted by theboysmama View Post
 
Also wake her up from her aftenoon/evening nap earlier each day. Idealy you don't want her sleeping after 4pm. None of these ideas are a cure all but I find that they have helped us out a lot.


My DD would never make it. It's not so much nap versus night - it's all kind of the same, though she sleeps shorter times during the day and transitions to more like 3 hours after 11 pm and is more willing to go right back to sleep after nursing during the night. She pretty much only stays up for an hour at a time up until 11ish, maybe two  hours if she naps for two. I would say she probably sleeps about 16-18 hours a day.

How many hours are other people's babies sleeping? And what kind of patterns?

 

post #98 of 170
Quote:
Originally Posted by MN BabyDust View Post

How many hours are other people's babies sleeping? And what kind of patterns?

 



Kai is 6w4d. Up until today he's slept pretty much all day and night, waking every couple hours to eat and get a diaper change. He would stay awake for maybe 45 minutes before nursing back to sleep. Starting at 4 weeks he's had a 4 hour stretch every night (until Thanksgiving- we were traveling and his sleep  was completely messed up). Last night he had a 6 hour stretch, and I slept that whole time too!! Today he's had a couple longer stretches of awake time (1 1/2-2 hours of awake and alert time before falling asleep). His sleep pattern seems to be settling into a nap around noon-2 or 1-3, awake until 5ish, nap until 7 or 8, awake until 11pm, sleep from 11-3 or 4am, eat then sleep until around 7am, eat then fall back to sleep until 10ish, awake from 10-noon. So he seems to sleep around 17ish hours in a 24 hour period.

post #99 of 170

On the good days, our schedule is roughly as follows:

up at 7am

nap at 8:30-9:00ish

wake up again at 11am

nap at 11:30-12:30

wake somewhere around 4-5pm

back to sleep no later than 5:30

wake at 6:30-8

off and on waking/sleeping until bedtime

sleep for the night at 10-11pm

wake to nurse only 5am

awake at 7am

 

Malcolm sleeps a lot.  If there are no interruptions to our day, he sometimes only wakes to get a diaper change, share a small conversation, nurse, and right back to sleep between the hours of noon-7pm.  And then still sleep all night...

post #100 of 170
Quote:
Originally Posted by MN BabyDust View Post

How many hours are other people's babies sleeping? And what kind of patterns?

 


well my baby is only 4 weeks old, but she sleeps a lot of the time. She is slowly having longer wakeful periods. She tends to wake up shortly after the older 2, and be awake from about 6am until around 7:30. Then she is often awake from 11-12, and, annoyingly, often wants to be awake for her 2yo sister's nap (1-2:30). She'll be awake again mid-afternoon for a bit, and then often after the others are asleep, she'll be very wakeful from say 8:30-10. I'd guess she is asleep a good 18-20 hours a day still. She is bedsharing at night and being worn much of the day. She will sleep sometimes on a mat on the floor, but then she is likely to get attacked (oh, excuse me, snuggled) by her older siblings. We don't have any private space in our apartment (literally there is just not room for anyone to have private/closed-off space, we have 2 rooms).

 

At night, she nurses around 10 or so to sleep, and then generally wakes 1-2 times in the night to nurse, but we just stay lying in bed and she goes back to sleep. I am not complaining- I am still tired just with that schedule but its about as good as I could ask for from a newborn.


Edited by emmaegbert - 11/28/11 at 5:33pm
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: October 2011
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2009 - 2012 › October 2011 › Chat Thread: 11/20-11/26