Breastfeeding and Sleep

[Zoee]

Hello everyone : )

I hope you're all doing great : )

My little girl is one now and she still falls asleep while breastfeeding. She has always slept while feeding and we have been co-sleeping much to the dismay of my husband, since me and him don't get any couple time. I would like to transition her to her crib, I'm trying to feed her, then when she's asleep I put her in her crib. She keeps waking up at night, (didn't do this before) so I feed her then put her back in the crib, but she hasn't shown signs of sleeping through the night yet. Should I continue doing this until she sleeps through the night? Prior to starting this transition we slept on a mattress on the floor and she would wake up only once after she went to sleep for the night, she would feed for a couple of minutes then slept till the morning. 

Her crib is in our bedroom so I'm only a few feet away but I guess she knows she's no longer next to me and keeps waking up to be comforted. 

Should I keep up with the transition plan or continue co-sleeping with her? I don't mind really, but it's taking a toll on my relationship with my husband. And if I can solve this issue with everyone happy, then I'd be happy : )

Does anyone have any tips/advice, I'd greatly appreciate it!

Thanks so much : )

Zoe 

[MrsSlocombe]

I'm eager to read experienced answers to this one.  I'm still pregnant and reading.  It seems that, according to the books I've read, it's better not to put the baby in his/her crib sound asleep (just tired/drowsy), even though falling asleep while nursing is apparently common.  I can't tell if I'm supposed to accomplish that by stopping the feeding as soon as s/he seems about to fall asleep, or by letting the baby finish, but then rouse him/her again before putting down.

I have read multiple places that a baby who is consistently put down fast asleep will not be able to fall back asleep on his/her own later in the night.  Apparently, all or most babies rouse a little during the night - going through light sleep or borderline wakefulness - but those who haven't learned to fall asleep on their own will need assistance in getting back.  I hope this helps a tiny bit.

[katelove]

Would another mattress on the floor be easier? You could feed her to sleep on her mattress then move to yours without having to move her.

Why are you and your husband not getting any time together? Is it because you have to stay in bed with your LO once she is down for the night or is it that you're not sleeping in the same bed as him?

If it's that you have to stay with her than that's tricky and I'm not sure how you solve that one. If it's that you're not sleeping in the same bed then an extra mattress may help. You could even put them together so you had one huge bed. My husband and I have co-slept with our 18mo since birth and we are still able to cuddle in bed sometimes. Often when I swap sides to feed we can spoon or I lean against his back. When we're on opposite sides we hold hands over LO's head or put our feet together. Just little things so we still have contact.

The other thing we've found useful is bedrails. Even though our mattress is on the floor it means that we can sleep right up to the edges of the mattress which gives us much more space than we would otherwise have.

[Zoee]

Thank you for your responses! MrsSlocombe, the problem with my girl was that she hardly got any sleep as a newborn, when the normal range is 14-18 hours of sleep per day, she got no more than 10! And not in one go of course! So that led me to trying anything that would make her sleep a bit more, and what worked for her was sleeping at the breast. And it's not that I encouraged that, but she would fall asleep anyway and I wouldn't dare wake her up! These days (she's one) she's a great sleeper, waking only once at night (usually right after she's fallen asleep) and she's had this pattern since she was 6 months old. Trying to put her in the crib these days isn't working that well, she wakes several times refusing to go back to sleep, she'll wake up, sit up, look around, gets startled that she's in a cage lol and then looks up and around to see where I am. I haven't given her enough time to see what she'll do, I usually just pick her up and put her back to sleep cuz I'm not in experiment mode in the middle of the night. 

 

Thank you for your suggestion Katelove. I'm considering putting a second mattress on the floor even though we just got her the crib and it feels like such a waste. I was reluctant but my husband insisted we get it. I now feel we'll have a useless piece of furniture which will turn into one huge toy box, there, not useless anymore! 

 

The problem me and my husband are having started when our baby was born. He needed to have his sleep and since our daughter didn't sleep much he slept in the guestroom for a good 4 months! At around that time the baby slept better and we shared our bed again and had the baby in a co-sleeper right next to me. We then moved and the baby outgrew her co-sleeper and since I didn't have anybody around me I would visit my parents a lot and would stay with them long periods of time. A week here and 2 weeks there, I realized we're just turning apart from one another and I want to stop that from happening! It's hard as it is with his long working hours and me taking care of the baby, there's little room for couple time. But I want to change that! 

 

So our issue right now is that we don't sleep in the same bed, which is easily fixed with sleeping on a mattress on the floor. I'm also hoping the crib isn't going to just sit there and take up space and that we will eventually get her to sleep in it when she's older. Till when are you considering co-sleeping with your baby? Do you have a set time or are you going with the flow? : ) 

 

Thanks so much for your response. I wish you lovely ladies a wonderful holiday weekend!

[katelove]

Originally Posted by Zoee 

 Till when are you considering co-sleeping with your baby? Do you have a set time or are you going with the flow? : ) 

 

 

Sounds like another mattress might work really well for you guys. It's a shame about the cot but she might use it one day or you might have another baby who uses it or you could always sell it.

We're just going with the flow for now. We're hoping to have another baby next year so not sure what we will do then. If she hasn't moved herself out then I think we'll try adding another mattress and all keep sleeping together. 

We haven't had the same sleeping problems you've had though. Our LO has always slept reasonably well and DH was able to sleep through me having a light on at night and moving around for feeds and things so we've been pretty fortunate.

Hope you find a solution which works for you all. Come back and update us