Originally Posted by theboysmama
I thought I shared earlier but might not have. Ds1 is a very active kid. Prob ADHD but dont know for sure, he also I sensory issues, takes things very literal etc.
A few weeks ago we got the first call and they gave him a list of things that needed improvement. It was very detailed. He reviewed everything nag was "much improved" the next time he served, then he served on thanksgiving and they had a whole new list of problems. They decided he just isn't ready and are going to re-train him in June.
A few of the issues he had: wiggling in the pew, leaning over to see the readings and dripping wax on the anvil, carrying more than 1bowl at a time, etc. Once he fixed the above then he had a new list. I just don't want him to feel rejected by is faith and I want him to be able to do it properly.
We have several kids who are like that who serve the altar. We generally try to have three kids on the altar at each Mass; but there are always at least two, with a "senior" server scheduled to watch the newbies/less focused servers and to help keep them on point. Some are really fidgety during Mass (and they sit on the altar), but nobody really minds as long as they serve their ministry and aren't problematic to the point of distraction from the liturgy.
I'm really sorry, for you and your son, that the parish leadership isn't more willing to make this work for everyone. These are the kinds of stories I hear from people who leave the church as young adults - they feel that they weren't appreciated by/needed by/valuable to the parish because of some issue or other that nobody wanted to deal with. It's sad.