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Unplanned c-section after long labor Support Thread - Page 4

post #61 of 84

What a great thread.  I have just skimmed it but like others have said, it's nice to know I'm not the only one with these feelings.

 

It was interesting to hear other moms say they felt like they hadn't given birth.  Even though my kids are 3.5 and 1.5 for some reason the last few months whenever birth comes up I end up tripping all over my words.  I am not sure what to say, giving birth doesn't sound right, I labored and worked hard to try to push them both out so I don't like "delivered" because I feel like it gives the doc all the credit.  I usually end up just saying , "whatever, they took her out of me."  Oh I hate that.

 

I still can't watch even a staged birth on TV without bawling because I didn't get to hold my babies right away.  I didn't even see my first daughter naked until she was 2 days old (she wasn't returned to me for hours because I was so drugged that I spent a long time recovering.  Then they took her four hours later to the NICU for 2 days).  I don't know why but that is still a big deal to me.  I didn't get to have that new, skin on skin time with her when she was fresh.  I guess that is part of it.  DH was so good about reminding me to do it and encouraging it.  I will always be thankful for that. 

 

I feel like I have been able to process a lot of things and getting to attempt an HBAC (even if it ended in another c/s) answered so many questions and helped me a lot.  It is still process though and I agree that it's so important for us to have this safe place to air those feelings.  To share openly without being told we are ungrateful or unreasonable. 

post #62 of 84

Ok I just joined the group and posted the first thread. 

post #63 of 84

Is everyone here going to join the group? I'm not very patient so go join now ok! grouphug.gif praying.gif

post #64 of 84

Please can you help me with a link to it?  

I can't figure out how to get to where you are talking about.

(Sorry!)

 

Thanks!

post #65 of 84

not sure how to link. At the top of the page on the blue bar it says groups. In between calendar and chat

post #66 of 84
Thread Starter 

Here's a link to the group: 

http://www.mothering.com/community/groups/show/25/unplanned-c-section-after-long-labor-support-group

 

If you use tapatalk, you may not be able to find groups in your menu, FYI. But hopefully this link will get you there!

post #67 of 84

Dear Mugglesmom

I wish I could ease your pain, which I know so well. Maybe you could read the book Birthing Normally After a Cesarean or Two. There is a whole chapter on the emotional scar a cesarean may entail, with tips on healing. It's now easy, it can take a long time, but it can be done. Have faith.

post #68 of 84

I had to be induced on a wednesday evening at 5pm and labour started at 6am on the thursday morning. By friday at 1:30am the midwives had tried all sorts to get my baby into the right position to be born (his head was at the wrong angle) and although he was only 2cm from the world he couldn't come out. I was taken into surgery with hubby next to me and they did try again but had to push him back up the birth canal and do a c section. It was totally unplanned but I didn't feel it took anything from the actual birth for me. It was lovely when my baby was laid across my chest and cried loudly while looking at me, then hubby, then me again etc.

 

The worst part for me was afterwards when I was in for 6 days as he had jaundice. When I went home I had the baby blues for a while. I was very possessive with the baby and was crying all the time. Also partly due to problems between me and hubby at the time. I was not supposed to lift anything which would mean not holding him. This I still did and I couldn't breast feed as I found it painful. I did struggle for a good 7/8 months with tiredness and problems with my tummy while it was healing.

 

I am sorry to hear that some of you have found th c section a bad experience.  I think it was more other people that made me feel down for not doing the full natural birth - mainly MIL. But I threw myself into my son and learnt to ignore it.

post #69 of 84

Hi my experience was awful!

 

 My induction was started on weds night, and mild pains started early hours of thurs morning. The labour ward was very busy but i was taken down there for a second lot of gel. Then it started,  contractions came thick and fast but very low pain nothing above my belly button. But I didnt really know what to expect as it was my first baby.

 I didnt see a midwife much all day and was told i was 3 cm but babys head wasnt low enough. At 8 pm Thurs night a midwife came in and said the ward was closed, I wasnt progressing further than 3 cm, i needed to have my waters broken but they didnt have the staff !!!!!!

I was left having these contractions (again not even as high as my bellybutton) very very painful 2 -3 mins apart with no progress for 8 hours before someone finally came to break my waters.

We were finding it very difficult to keep track of babys heart rate without being on the bed but i was in way to much pain to lay down, so it was suggested i have epidural to have pitocin and stay on bed to be monitored. I was then stuck on the bed with an epidural that didnt work in agony.

Doc came in and said I had to be 7 cm dilated by 12 o clock or we were going to theatre but when 12 o clock came around and i wasnt 7 cm he said give it until 2 oclock. They tried getting a clip on babys head to check he was ok but struggled and they tried 5. They were then taking blood samples and testing them. My mum (birth partner) had had enough and called doc back in. I was 8 cm dilated and felt a need to push, i felt my body was pushing and i couldnt stop it. Midwife said i wasnt to push but doc said i was fine to push. Then all of a sudden there was a big rush doc pushed a piece of paper for me to sign in front of me and said we were going to theatre to try forceps and if not then a c section.

Once in the doors of theatre I was moved from one table to another and all of a sudden some reached over from behind me, put a mask over my face and said i need to put you to sleep your having a c section. I cried so much it was awful.

 

When i came around i was having a blood transfusion, after losing 2.5 litres of blood. I tore my uterus and my son was in intensive care. He was born at 2:02pm and I didnt see him until 10pm that night. Harry spent a week in intensive care and i was in hospital for 5 days and had to go home two nights without my boy. 

 

At my post natal 6 week check I was told that my uterus tore due to prolonged labour. The fact that my son being in intensive care could have been prevented if the hospital had enough staff or if the doctor had made the call sooner makes me sick. I was also told that due to the tear im not safe to have a vaginal birthand have to have another section  if i had another baby and to not get pregnant until harry is at least a year old to give my uterus time to heal.  

 

I would rather c section with my next child rather than risk being left again and having my baby suffer because of it. I does worry me a bit tho that i would be goin in for that operation and pain again but babys wellbeing comes first. I think the section itself was too bad it was just all of the other issues coming together. Both me and my husband missed the birth of our first child. 

 

Dont mean to worry anyone. I think a planned section must be better than a rushed one. Think it did me good writing this and has made me want to get my complaint in to the hospital.  7

 

Thank you for reading!! xx

post #70 of 84

Thanks for sharing harrysmum and welcome! Have you considered a second opinion? Not sure what country you live in but maybe you could try a birthing center or a home birth?

post #71 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by CoBabyMaker View Post

 

It was interesting to hear other moms say they felt like they hadn't given birth.  Even though my kids are 3.5 and 1.5 for some reason the last few months whenever birth comes up I end up tripping all over my words.  I am not sure what to say, giving birth doesn't sound right, I labored and worked hard to try to push them both out so I don't like "delivered" because I feel like it gives the doc all the credit.  I usually end up just saying , "whatever, they took her out of me."  Oh I hate that.

 

 

I've felt the exact thing and have avoided the use of "given birth" since, well, I really don't think I did!  I certainly carried him for 9 mo and that was hard work, and I labored all day, but his actual birth was while I just layed there.  I'm ok with that now, thankfully!  It's become my reality and just how it is.

post #72 of 84

Here's my story... posted this earlier in hopes of getting some support!!!

 

On November 18, 2012 I was due to start the induction process with my daughter. She is my first. I began labor on my own that night(about 5pm)  before I arrived to the hospital. I thought, "YAY! NOW I WON'T NEED A C-SCTION!" I was very, very fearful of a section my entire pregnancy. I deeply craved a natural, vaginal birth. So I was super excited that I would not have to get induced. I labored until about midnight and hit 2cm and was 80% effaced. By 3:30am I had hit 5cm and 100% effaced. I did receive and epidural at this point, I was in excruciating pain, my back felt like it was breaking. The epidural knocked me out, hubby and me slept for a couple hours. By 7:30am, the nurse said I had hit 7cm. My OB checked me, said I was only 5 maybe 6. Baby was still at -3 station... felt that was odd. Her heart rate had been fairly irregular my entire labor but they weren't worried yet. I had an u/s at 39 weeks to rule out breech... so we knew it wasn't that.

 

They broke my water and she said we had "pea soup" meaning my sweet little daughter passed her first meconium... very scary to hear. Her heart rate instantly plummeted. They got me on my hands and knees to try and ease her down. Twenty minutes passed and nothing changed except my daughter's health, which worsened. It all happened so quickly. They mentioned c-section to me as a possibility and I cried a little. OB came back in to check me, and my DD's head was very swollen and her heart rate was still plummenting.... going down to 80bpm, sometimes we'd lose her. I was told I had to have a c-section. My first response was, "Please just save my baby!" 

 

They rushed me in to the OR, husband barely made it in the room, but he did. At 8:49 am on November 19, 2012 we welcomed a daughter, Averee Morgan, 7lbs8oz 20.5" long. He witnessed our daughter being born and we both cried when we heard her. We discovered she was posterior, the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck several times, and my pelvis wasn't wide enough to deliver her. They told me a vaginal delivery would not have been possible for us.

 

Five months later I still feel a deep sadness about my c-section. I feel so guilty and cry and wish there was SOMETHING I could have done. It's terrible, I just want to come to peace with it,  but I can't. I see shows on TV when babies are born and I bawl. I think about how I wanted that, how unfair it was. Yes, the health of my daughter is MOST important, but I still feel terribly saddened by it. It is comforting to know I am not alone.

post #73 of 84

I very often feel completely and utterly robbed of my birth. I couldn't agree more, I truly feel like I did nothing to have this baby. She was taken out of me, and that's that. It is such a sad, empty, lonely feeling. 

post #74 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDsMom1031 View Post

hola.gif

 

First baby.

Normal pregnancy.

Go in for my weekly check-up.

High blood pressure. Pre-eclampsia.

Induced 12 days early.

12 hours of drug-free labor.

Zero progression.

C-Section.

 

... Bitter.

 

I can't shake it. Everytime I see someone else have a nice, natural delivery... It hits home. Deep.

I couldn't agree with you more :( I feel you're pain... I can't even watch shows like "A Baby Story" anymore....

post #75 of 84

We seem to have similar stories Avereemorgan12

 

I don't believe for one minute that your pelvis isn't big enough to have a baby vaginally. Doctors say this crap to scare women and to justify their actions. I have seen very tiny women birth 10 plus pound babies. I would totally go for a VBAC next time. Also don't step foot into a hospital until your in transition. That's what worked for me for both of my VBAC's.

 

I'm sorry you're hurting, I can so relate.

post #76 of 84

Thank you so much <3 <3 <3 I am due with baby #2 12/18/13 and was told because I am only 5 months PP I am too high risk to attempt VBAC... we will see... still yearn for that natural delivery... 

post #77 of 84
My kids will be 22m apart at delivery and I'm doing a VBAC.
post #78 of 84

Just read about a hospital in Mass that is adopting a more family friendly c/s. Clear drapes and deliberate placing of wires to allow for immediate bonding and breastfeeding right away. Sounds like the medical world is finally recognizing just how damaging c/s are mentally to women and how they effect the way we raise our babies.

post #79 of 84
It has taken me awhile to seek out a forum like this for some.... Talking? Relief? Understanding? I'm not sure which, as I didnt think that I really needed it until tonight after I read a post by another woman on a social media website about how wonderful her natural and vaginal childbirth was..... it mad me so angry and jealous that I almost started crying!! This is the fourth time si
post #80 of 84
It has taken me awhile to seek out a forum like this for some.... Talking? Relief? Understanding? I'm not sure which, as I didnt think that I really needed it until tonight after I read a post by another woman on a social media website about how wonderful her natural and vaginal childbirth was..... it mad me so angry and jealous that I almost started crying!! This is the fourth time si
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