mama's who have/are having boys... - Page 8

[draigunfly]

Originally Posted by lovingmomma 

I also wanted to say that our decision to circ was not due to our working in the medical field. It was a decision we made informed! The above was some of what helped us make our decision. I'm guessing it was my post you were saying you reported. I posted why we decided to circ, but I also said its each parents decision to make. I'm not bashing anyone who does or doesn't circ. We don't vaccinate, but I don't bash those that decide to. I give the information, but they have to make the decision they can live with, not one that they felt they had to make because someone was bashing them. I have friends that choose to take their kids to the doctor for every sniffle. We don't. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop being their friend. They have to do what they feel is right for their family. One child has never been to the doctor, he's 5. Two haven't been in almost 9 yrs. another has only been once in his life when he got poison ivy from head to toe and inside his mouth last year. 

I have been a member here for years. I haven't been here much since my youngest was little, but I have been active before. I'm not sure why it shows I've only posted once. Maybe the post count reset or something. I don't know. I found a lot of good information here on vbacs and on immunizations when we were researching. It's the point of view from both sides that help a person make a decision. I answered the question she asked as to why someone did or didn't circ. Had the post read she wanted information against circumcision, I'd have not been inclined to post. But, I didn't realize you could only answer if you agreed to not circ.

I agree with your previous post about why you guys did what you did, I to have my son circ'd for baiscally the same reasons you stated! This forum is CLEARLY not for people who chose not to circ, only for those who did, which is STUPID because like you said, the question was "TO CIRC OR NOT" which means the mother who wrote that wants both sides, personal stories, and as much info that she can, but the other mothers dont agree with answering the "NOT" part. They get very offended "for no reason" if you disagree, even if you don't say not one negative thing about moms who chose not to. I wouldn't worry about being called a troll, thats childish, and there was nothing wrong with you post. You didn't say nothing out of place, you answerd the mother who posted the questions answer! Don't feel bad!

[Tash76]

Originally Posted by philomom 


It is not a parent's choice to make. It is your son's choice to make when he's grown ..... much like tattoos , piercings or any other body modification.
My kids are making it to 18 with their body intact. I'm their caretaker, not their owner.

and that's YOUR view of this issue. that's what i'm saying. if you came to the conclusion that it is up to your son, then that is your decision on this issue. if you read my post, i was saying that i believe the issue of circumcision is a choice that we need to make = whether to do it or not do it is a choice we make about this issue.

by saying that you think it is your son's choice, you are saying that the choice you made on behalf of your son is that it is his decision, not your's. and that is YOUR decision.

i never shared with you (this community) what choice we made. my point was merely that circumcision needs to be an INFORMED choice. if you end up, after researching it, deciding that it is your son't choice, then that is YOUR choice about this issue. if you end up making the decision on behalf of your son, then that is the choice you make.

either is a choice. as long as it is an INFORMED choice, you're still making a choice.

another point i was trying to make was that whatever choice a parent(s) makes on behalf of their children, AS LONG AS IT IS an INFORMED CHOICE, we need - as the extended community - to stop making judgements and be supportive of each other. we have enough on our plate as parents than to add a section where we feel we need to defend the decisions we're making. we should be supportive and encourage each other to make INFORMED choices and then believe that we are each making the best decision WE KNOW WE CAN for our children.

[jess in hawaii]

Originally Posted by draigunfly 

This forum is CLEARLY not for people who chose not to circ.....

This forum is for women who are having babies in April. The thread got out of hand when a bunch of other people crashed. If the OP had wanted to have all of MDC chiming in, she would have posted in "Health" or "I'm Pregnant", but she didn't, she instead posted to the relatively small group of women she had been having discussions with about other aspects of being currently pregnant. I'm sure within our group she could have and had a meaningful open dialogue about choices, but instead this turned into so much from people who wouldn't just mind their own business.

[Adaline'sMama]

Did you know that your DDC has the ability to become a Social Group that would require membership for people to comment in your DDC? Im just saying, this is a public forum, and anyone can post here, so if people dont feel comfortable allowing the entire board to comment on a topic, that might be something to consider. Most of the people who have provided actual facts and statistics have been long time members and frequent posters in the Case Against Circumcision, and they are also not in the April DDC. Circ is a really emotional topic, and if people want to discuss it without people who are passionate about it weighing in, they should probably do it more privately. All of the posts in your DDC come up in the "New Posts" feed, and there is only so long that some of us can read along without commenting when it is a passionate issue- especially when misinformation is being spread and moms who have done extensive research feel an obligation to correct posters.

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by philomom 

Actually, I found the rates are about the same for circ deaths as SIDS. That doesn't make it any less horrible, maybe more so because its so preventable.
http://www.examiner.com/family-health-in-washington-dc/new-study-estimates-neonatal-circumcision-death-rate-higher-than-suffocation-and-auto-accidents
Here are some some that have about the same 117 number.
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/05/death-from-circumcision.html
http://codenamemama.com/2010/04/27/circumcision-and-sids-only-one-of-them-is-preventable/
http://www.icgi.org/2010/04/infant-circumcision-causes-100-deaths-each-year-in-us/
Oh, and I added this one for fun. It is that time of year.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bX4X8sFXWa0&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL5425F24E0AA53B05

Thank you for sharing this.  Wow, I had no idea.

Originally Posted by GoofyMommy 

Ok, I am a sometimes lurker to MDC & got this in an email.

I can't keep quiet about something that ALWAYS gets somewhat brought up in circ discussions, and it kills me. 

I am a Christian & very comfotable in my belief.  Anyone that believes that circumcision is required by Christianity really needs to read the New Testament.  There are many, MANY passages which state that circumcision is not only no longer required, but discouraged. (and anyone who wants specific scripture, just ask.  I'll provide.)

I hate when people say that they have to circumcise because of their religion if they are talking about Christianity. 

I'm not sure if you're still reading, but I would love the verses you're referring to.  Thanks!

Originally Posted by jess in hawaii 

This forum is for women who are having babies in April. The thread got out of hand when a bunch of other people crashed. If the OP had wanted to have all of MDC chiming in, she would have posted in "Health" or "I'm Pregnant", but she didn't, she instead posted to the relatively small group of women she had been having discussions with about other aspects of being currently pregnant. I'm sure within our group she could have and had a meaningful open dialogue about choices, but instead this turned into so much from people who wouldn't just mind their own business.

I guess MDC decided otherwise when they sent an e-mail blast of this discussion. 

[flyrabbitfly]

I think it is a common concern for Daddy to have your DH's worry about locker room anxieties and not looking like Daddy. My DH felt that way UNTIL he saw some post-op photos, he was instantly convinced. If that doesn't work, a video of the procedure is pretty universally horrifying/convincing. Few people who choose circumcision are aware what it really means happens.

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

Originally Posted by jess in hawaii 

This forum is for women who are having babies in April. The thread got out of hand when a bunch of other people crashed. If the OP had wanted to have all of MDC chiming in, she would have posted in "Health" or "I'm Pregnant", but she didn't, she instead posted to the relatively small group of women she had been having discussions with about other aspects of being currently pregnant. I'm sure within our group she could have and had a meaningful open dialogue about choices, but instead this turned into so much from people who wouldn't just mind their own business.

Seriously! If you aren't expecting a baby in April GTFO!

I've been flagging any pro-circ post by someone with less than 15 posts to MDC who doesn't seem to be due in April as trolling. I don't care if they aren't as obnoxious as the trolls on Reddit, joining MDC or starting a sock puppet to spam our board with why they want to cut parts of their son's dick off is TROLLING. Complaining about how that discussion isn't welcome here, the ONE effing parenting board on the internet that is explicitly anti-circ, is TROLLING.

You wanna talk about how great it is to wipe meconium off an open wound? GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! If you're here to get a rise out of people like me, you're a TROLL. You may have succeeded, but you're a TROLL. I could start naming names, but really, you know who you are. STOP TROLLING MY DDC!

[zuzusplace]

Ashley, it's easy to get upset, especially in our current condition (if anyone knows that after the night I've had it's me)...but try to remain calm...for you, for the baby. I really enjoy your posts, and agree with you on so many issues, and I hate to see you hurting yourself this way.

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

Zuzu, my problem is this: http://xkcd.com/386/ I occasionally get drawn into flame wars because, well, they can be fun. But yeah, I was done with this thread until Mothering betrayed us by publicizing it for shits and giggles (and page hits).

[philomom]

Where did they publicize it?

Love the xkcd reference!

[Thursday Girl]

wow, this thread blew up even harder then it had.  Awesome.

Chiro, I think you can change the title if you edit the original post.

I wish there was a more private place we could discuss the topic, like if you have decided on an approach in communicating with your DH. I read facts to Hubs until he didn't want to hear them, then I  told him that I had made my decision and I was willing to listen to what research he found and then we could discuss the topic further. He chose not to do any research and go along with what i had researched.

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

Originally Posted by philomom 

Where did they publicize it?
Love the xkcd reference!

Hazelbranch mentions it upthread, but they sent a link to our "sizzling hot thread you don't want to miss" as part of their email newsletter. Thus, MORE trolls.

[csekywithlove]

Chiromama: My father, a RN and I have had some interesting discussions on circ since I became pregnant. My dad and his three siblings were born at home between 1940-1954. My grandmother was a stay at home mom and pretty crunchy for her time. She did not have any of her three boys circ'd. When my brother was born in the late 80's there was literature everywhere about how circ was better, etc. My brother was circ'd and later on down the road, my father regretted the decision as did my mother.

My parents have been married for 39 years and have enjoyed a healthy, normal sex life up until these past few months when my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Dad is 100% behind me in telling our other family members that we will choose not to circ our son. Dh and my mother are also in agreement. Coming from a RN who has surgical, emergency room, critical and long term care experience that he wishes he had researched his parents original decision and applied it to his own child weighed heavily on my mind. He is the reason I started researching circ before I even conceived because of conversations I had with friends about circ.

For me choosing not to circ has been a journey of sorts. I am happy with our decision and we will know tomorrow if we will have a boy or girl in April!

[Angela1968]

 Thirteen years ago I was pregnant with our first (and only, till now!) child. I started researching, with what limited internet access I had, about circumcision in case we had a boy. I was horrified to find out what they go through for apparently no good reason. My husband was circumcised but neither of our fathers were. We both decided we were not going to do it if we had a son.

 I made this clear to my Doctor but after we had our little guy, just a few short hours later, she came in my room and let me know she was taking him down to get circumcised! That is when I got my first experience of being a 'mamabear'! I calmly explained that we were not going to have that done and she apologized and all was well but I tell you, the protectiveness over thinking someone was going to take my baby and hurt him was so powerful. I loved it!

Am I happy with our decision? Yes. There were times of concern. He would get these white filled little pockets at the tip/head and sometimes it was raw and seemed to irritate him. I asked his pediatrician and he let me know it was normal as his penis grew more and the skin started separating naturally. A little neosporin worked great when this happened. We always remind him to pull it back when he is bathing and if he does get any discomfort now he knows that maybe he hasn't been cleaning properly.

 Now that I am pregnant and don't know what the sex is yet we asked him what he thinks about being circumcised and would he want his baby brother to look like him or dad? He said he is fine with it and would like his brother to look like him.

 Everyone else (except for one distant cousin) in my family has had their children circumcised and I figure that is there decision to make but for us and the knowledge I inquired when researching gave me all I need to make the correct decision for us.

Blessings to all!

[Cynthia Mosher]

Originally Posted by sunflwrmoonbeam 

Zuzu, my problem is this: http://xkcd.com/386/ I occasionally get drawn into flame wars because, well, they can be fun. But yeah, I was done with this thread until Mothering betrayed us by publicizing it for shits and giggles (and page hits).

Betrayal is pretty harsh. Are you sure it was an intentional act? Would you please send me a copy of that newsletter so I can see what you're referring to? 

[Cynthia Mosher]

While I can appreciate that a DDC is for a group of moms to discuss their shared journey of pregnancy more specific topics about something that has a devoted forum here is going to generate input from others. As well we do not have a rule about a DDC forum being restricted to specific members. If a member is creating issues in a DDC that can be reported but telling people they cannot post in a DDC is really not anyone's right. If you want a members only group you have the Groups option of a closed forum which still requires you to adhere to the general Mothering UA regarding acceptable posting.

Any further discussion about this topic should go to The Case Against Circumcision. This thread is closed.