Breaking my heart

[thatgirliknew]

DS (5) has been going back between his father and me a week at a time since he was 1. I have always known this was hard on him, but that is what the courts ordered. His emotions and behavior have gone down hill his whole life. He started seeing a therapist at 4 due to depression symptoms. Recently, he said he wants to kill himself. Now he is in counseling up to 4x a week. Then he said his father was hurting him. Cps was called last thursday, we filed an epo on friday so he wouldnt have to go bck before cps investigated. They called me today and said they would come next week. The past two days have been tota chaos. I cannot leave ds unattended or he will hurt himself or dd. I can't even go to the restroom without ds. I am pregnant with a 2 year olddaughter. On the advice of 2 therapists and the hospital (and because I simply cannot handle him and my daughter safely at the moment), I will be signing him into residential treatment today.
I hope I am doing the right thing but it is breaking my heart and I don't know how this will play out with the courts and cps.

[mamarhu]

Mama, my heart goes out to you, and I know much of what you are going through. Do you have any support IRL? Look into NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and or Autism Society in your area. It almost doesn't matter what your child's diagnosis is, or if you even have one yet; you will find families going through similar situations. Support groups at this stage can be very valuable to help you stay sane while getting the best care and services for your son. Some agencies offer the services of a Family Partner (also called Parent Partner, Family Navigator, Peer Support). This is a parent with experience, usually with multiple systems, who has BTDT in your area, and knows the local resources. Rare in these tight financial times, but a great support if you can be assigned one. ASK!

I recommend this book. It does a good job of explaining the "system" and helps a family navigate through it.

http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Troubled-Kids-Emotional-Disorders/dp/1419693425/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1322064068&sr=8-1

You are doing the right thing to keep your family safe. I can't offer much but.

I wish you all the best.

Rhu