Mama, my heart goes out to you, and I know much of what you are going through. Do you have any support IRL? Look into NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and or Autism Society in your area. It almost doesn't matter what your child's diagnosis is, or if you even have one yet; you will find families going through similar situations. Support groups at this stage can be very valuable to help you stay sane while getting the best care and services for your son. Some agencies offer the services of a Family Partner (also called Parent Partner, Family Navigator, Peer Support). This is a parent with experience, usually with multiple systems, who has BTDT in your area, and knows the local resources. Rare in these tight financial times, but a great support if you can be assigned one. ASK!
I recommend this book. It does a good job of explaining the "system" and helps a family navigate through it.
You are doing the right thing to keep your family safe. I can't offer much but.
I wish you all the best.