AP Parent and Sleep

[eabbmom]

I love my pediatrician but he does not like that I nurse the baby to sleep all the time. He wants me to have time for myself and so his intentions are good. I know that I should stick to my AP goals and nurse on demand (baby is five months) but is there anyone that can encourage me. Am I doing the right thing by defying my doctor's orders?

[wehrli]

I know you like the doc but it makes me mad when any HCP thinks it's any of their business how the baby sleeps. There is no medical reason for them to know how you put the baby to sleep or keep them asleep. Aside from wanting to make sure the baby is getting enough sleep for proper development. I say, do it however works for you! If you feel better about it, fudge the truth when the doc asks next time. this, of course, is just IMHO.

[zinemama]

First of all, your doctor cannot order you to do anything. If you are thinking about your relationship with him in terms of "defying" maybe it's time to get a new doctor.

However, I think that by considering your needs the doctor is not necessarily doing a bad thing. Some mothers put their children first to an unhealthy degree. Time to yourself is not a bad thing. A full night's sleep is not a bad thing. And speaking as someone who nursed 2 kids to sleep on demand, I can say that - unless you're one of those women who somehow manages to nurse a baby while asleep - you're not going to be getting a lot of sleep for a very very long time. It's hard. Your doctor knows this.

If you want to keep nursing on demand all night, that's what you should do. I don't regret doing that myself, but I'm not going to pretend I enjoyed it because I didn't. I was horribly sleep-deprived and grumpy, and now (my kids are 8 and 11) I consider that period the the worst part of my experience of motherhood. (Of course, the teen years are yet to come...)

[sosurreal09]

Even if you wanted to night wean it is no where near recommended to night wean a 5 m/o!

[eabbmom]

Thanks so much for the reassurance- Sometimes you just need help to do what is right in your heart. We are new at this parent game and do not have familial support.

[Baby_Cakes]

Pediatricians often dole out unsolicited parenting advice.  As long as you and baby are happy, follow your instincts and keep doing what you're doing.

[Blanca78]

I think ZineMama's right. I will add that I think the idea that nursing a baby to sleep makes night waking significantly worse isn't always true. I almost always nurse my daughter, 7 months old, to sleep, but she does not wake that much*, and one of the things I actually really like about Marc Weissbluth's book (most of which I don't pay much mind to) is that he encourages nursing to sleep and says the connection to night waking is a myth.  However, we don't co-sleep--she is in a crib in our room, so it might be different if she were in the bed with us.

It sounds like your doctor is trying to look out for you, but I don't think going against his suggestion should be a concern. Just be honest with him and tell him you're more comfortable nursing to sleep and on demand throughout the night. Maybe you can discuss some possible middle ground approaches if it appeals to you--but ONLY if it appeals to you. Follow your gut! It sounds like you're doing great.

*I should clarify that I don't always nurse her to sleep--sometimes she falls asleep after I put her down awake--and there doesn't seem to be any correlation between nightwaking and whether I nursed her to sleep or not. She wakes anywhere from 1-3 times a night.

[rinap]

Nursing to sleep and night nursing are two separate issues. You can have someone else do bedtime without night weaning. And until they hit their most recent sleep regression, my girls slept a long night (at least 12-5) whether I nursed them to sleep or put them down sleepy.

That said, the key part here is that the pediatrician thinks it would be good for you to find some time for yourself. That may be the thing to think about. Can you get some time to yourself some other way? Everyone needs a breather now and then.

[sosurreal09]

Also don't forget FF is the "norm" to a lot of peds and FF a 5 m/o all night long probably isn't good for teeth and other reasons? IDK for sure but I remember my BFF who FF said she had to stop giving the bottle at night at 6 m/o for some reason or another. The baby still didn't STTN and she never did CIO or anything, but anyways just saying he may have a different view on night feeding b/c of that.

[Mommel]

Originally Posted by zinemama 

First of all, your doctor cannot order you to do anything. If you are thinking about your relationship with him in terms of "defying" maybe it's time to get a new doctor.

I nurse to sleep, and on demand throughout the night, but I also get enough alone time at other times... during naps, early in the morning, etc. Your doc seems to care about you, but he's not the authority on everything just because he's your doctor. Start viewing him as a paid employee... YOUR paid employee, and remember to take what you need and leave the rest. Best mama advice I ever got was: "you are the expert on your own child". Keep following your gut... that's the real authority. 

[GoMamaMel]

You're doing the right thing mama! you're giving your baby exactly what he/she needs! 

i agree with what others have posted before me.

keep trusting your heart!