Oh mama you are doing such an amazing job! I can totally relate to the anger though. I couldnt BF side lying until 8 weeks out, and I was furious because I'd wake to a hungry baby, and then have to spend 5 minutes getting situated. You'll get there sooner...I bet you'll be nursing side lying by the next growth spurt!! As for getting help, if you see an IBCLC (NOT and LC, can't stress that enough) and she has some tips for fixing baby's latch or positioning, just remember, it will still suck at the begining even if you do everything PERFECTLY. It's like sex, totally natural biological process, and yet I dont think I enjoyed it until I'd been doing it at least a few months, if not longer!! You are doing a wonderful job, but maybe a little additional hands on support would be good for you? Heck, I used my IBCLC as a therapist at least once, I cried so hard the first time I saw her, and it was amazing!!
Keep voicing your frustration...it's healthy. I still say lanolin is great so long as there are not cuts/cracks...and Jack newman's All Purpose Nipple Ointment always, but especially if you do have open wounds. Also, Ibuprofen. Hospital told me to take 600 mg every 6 hours, though their rx ran out after 2 weeks, I just loaded up on Advil. I would have given up without the pain relief. I took it in that dose around the clock for 6 weeks and I would have gone another 6 weeks if thats what I needed to get through the rough patch.
I know what you are saying about being housebound. I expected to have my baby and head out for coffe the same day and BF in Starbucks first thing. Instead I was literally stuck in my house topless for 6 weeks. You will get there. I don't know how to help you believe that, but you will. I promise.
You are doing such a wonderful thing, you are everything your baby needs. Keep feeding him, and sleep whenever you can (SERIOUSLY) to keep those baby blues in check. You are strong and capable and you've totally got this, I have no doubt.
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