Conflicted feelings, help me work this out

[wp135]

DH and I always agreed that we want our kids close.  DS is almost 7months, I've had AF for a while but no O yet.  We have agreed to pull the goalie starting December so the earliest we would have another is September if I start ovulating again.  I know there is a good chance I won't get pregnant for a while, but DS is sleeping longer stretches, I"ll be returning to work and pumping during the day so it definately is a possibility.

But, I feel so conflicted.  I"m nursing my son and really don't want to him to self wean before one year due to a drop in supply if I get pregnant.  He has a dairy and soy intolerance and the formula we would have to supplement him with is expensive if it would work at all (there is a very good chance he'll be fine before my supply drops though).

I feel like I'm already having to choose between two children, and one of them is hypothetical.  If I get pregnant now DS won't get the benefit of extended BFing, but if I wait LO#2 will be much farther apart from other potential siblings since we'll probably wait 2-3 years before TTC #3.  I know in the end everything will work out since it always does, but this baby planning thing is driving me nuts.  I almost wish I could have another surprise baby so I don't have to think of all of this!

Any thoughts?  Advice?

[etsdtm99]

i had the same issue when i had 1 lo and we were talking about ttc - we started ttc when she was 6 mo , got pg at 10mo (miscarried that pregnancy) -- and didn't get pregnant again until dd was 17 mo - that was torture at the time - but it was a blessing in the end - my DD was able to have breastmilk longer and she self weaned at 3 yrs old - i got pregnant when DS was 20 months and he is still nursing at 3.5 ..  i think waiting a little longer makes all the difference, personally, i value giving my LO breastmilk for at least a year  - after that they are eating enough solids and everything that they will be ok with a drop in supply..  .. my milk dried up during pregnancy after about 12-15 weeks and that part sucked, but it was better than them weaning early or needing formula or any of that..  not getting pregnant until at least 18 months is idea for me.. then you still have 2-3 yr age spacing..  my kids are 25 and 28 months apart and i still consider that pretty close, they play very well together .. we plan to have another and if things go as 'planned' they won't be more than 3 years apart..

[zinemama]

I wouldn't worry about the spacing, but concentrate on what's best for you and the child you have already.

[HeYunyi]

The idea that a baby doesn't need formula starting at one year is based on the idea that they'll be switching over to cow's milk.  If cow's milk (or goat's milk) isn't an option for your baby than he either needs formula or breastmilk until the age of two, so just keep that in mind.