I have been stalking this forum for MONTHS!! Since I got pregnant back in January of this year (2011). I've just been to shy to say anything publicly. I literally read through every since page here. You women are SO AMAZING! You all have taught me so many things that I am grateful for. The strength of your stories and information had me completely unafraid in labor, and gave me the perfect birth I hoped for.
Back story: I will be 20 in 2 months. My husband is 22. We live with in-laws, and no one knew we were having an unassisted birth. They believed we were seeing a midwife the whole time. Thank god, labor started when everyone was working at the family-owned restaurant or were otherwise out of the house. I got married young and after two years of trying to conceive (and one miscarriage) I took vitex the month I fell pregnant. I also took vitex through my entire pregnancy.
We had a UP, too- meaning the sex of our child was unknown. OK NOW ON TO THE STORY!!
The morning before my due date (at around 11:30am) I had sex with DH. I started bleeding like a light period right away. I was frightened by the blood, even posting a question here on BG about it.
I was even having contractions, but I made the excuse that I ALWAYS had very strong contractions after sex, this was nothing new. However I was starting to feel.."icky"...a little nausea, kind of weak. Exactly how I feel when I first start my period, actually.
Meanwhile, my husband is jumping around saying, "Yes! We are going to have a baby!!" He had to run some errands though and would call me periodically to check up on things. If I thought I was in actual labor I was to let him know. He had to go to work later, and I did not want to make him take off for a false alarm.
I was already taking hot showers to help with things, and around 3 pm I took out a heating pad and managed to fall asleep for 20 minutes. My cell phone rang again, and my first strong contraction hit. BAM!
I still told my husband I was fine, took another shower, and started to moan through them. I decided I did not care if this was a false alarm or not, my husband was coming HOME!!!
I was really tired.I hadn't had much sleep the night before, and this was taking a lot out of me. With each contraction I would be on all fours on the floor, and then I'd lay down as soon as it was over. That probably exhausted me more but it felt right.
Around this time I started having a lot of thoughts. "Damn, I don't know how long I can go through this"
"That sounds like transition"
"No way, I don't even feel crazy yet".
Dh finally enters the room, freaking out because he sees me laying on the ground like I'm dying or something, and flips the light on.
"Turn off that light," I hiss, " and get me that bag!!" He hands me a walmart bag and I throw up three times into it.
"I realllyyy hope that means this is transition". I told him.
I love my husband, and he was sooo helpful (getting me water, putting tarp and towels down for me) but oh man!! He would ask me questions DURING EACH CONTRACTION! I finally had to tell him to be quiet.
By this point I'm leaning over my (low to the floor) bed, knees on the ground, chest and head on blanket.
I remembered how some women don't feel that urge to push unless they give a little one themselves and then it takes over. I gave a small one myself, and with each new contraction my body continued to do it, still lightly.
After a while I felt a very powerful force leave out of me, a huge release. I gasped in surprise!!
"Oh my god!! Did the baby come out?"
"No, your water just broke".
I should have known it would not have been that easy.
"Oh man, I hope things aren't going to get more intense!" I knew that stronger contractions were a possibility now that I didn't have anything cushioning the baby.
Right away I felt the baby descend and slide down in me. That is such an odd but amazing feeling, you really can't understand unless you've given birth yourself.
I warned my husband and he got closer behind me, waiting.
My body really took over and started pushing.
"Can you see anything?" I asked.
DH switched on a flashlight, "Wow! It has a full head of hair, baby!"
I couldn't believe it!
And then the baby slid back up.
I PUSHED (sounded like UGHHHH GRRRRR UGGGHHH) and the baby would come down, then slide back up. I knew this was just so that I could stretch slowly, and so that the baby's head could mold.
I was realllyyy stretching, and kept yelling "OH MY GOD! I'm going to rip! My ASS HOLE IS GOING TO RIP!!" DH kept calming me down, telling me not to push just let my body do it, and to breathhhhhh!! Reminding me to breath REALLY helped.
"You are almost ten centimeters dilated."
"What?" I asked, confused.
"Yeah baby! You are doing so good! You are almost ten centimeters!!"
"What are you talking about!! Of course I am the baby is coming out of my vagina!!"
Finally, when her head came out all the way, I SCREAMED and gripped the blanket with all of my might. I could feel myself rip, in my mind's eye ripping on the baby's nose or something.
The shoulders came out and the rest of the baby just fell out, into my husband's hands. 7:25pm. And 8 hour labor.
He rubbed her and it let out a few small cries right away, and we laughed so happy. There was no need to suction.
I turned around and sat down.
"It's a GIRL!!"
"Really?? A girl?" I was amazed.
" I KNEW it!" And I had, I told everyone I thought she was a girl.
"You did sooo good! You did sooo good baby!" Dh kissed me and we kept staring at our daughter.
I wanted to breastfeed but her cord was too short. I weighed my options and decided to let her cord keep on pulsating for a bit longer. We eventually tied it off with a rubber band and then Dh cut it. With some more help, I stood up and delivered the placenta into a bowel.
Dh quickly got rid of the mess and buried the placenta in the backyard (so fast I didn't even realize he buried it!)
Then I took a shower while DH washed baby girl.
A few days later a really great midwife came and checked up on us, we needed a paper stating she'd been seen in order to receive a birth certificate. (actually, I'm pretty sure i didn't need it, but I didn't want any trouble and I don't mind her being checked out at home).
Also, turns out I did NOT tear, I just had skid marks. The midwife said I did really well and just to keep my legs closed, mimicking a stitch.
We are still struggling with breastfeeding. Baby did not lose any weight, has gone from around 7.5 to 8.4 (we just measure on our home scale). My nipples have healed a lot, almost all of the scabbing is gone, just a dot left. BUT it burns when i feed, and she doesn't have thrush. We have come a long way though, and I love her so much.
I proved to myself that natural labor is completely doable, no screaming (except at the end) and not a single tear shed. My husband once again has proved to me how much I can rely on him, and I've just been incredibly blessed to have these loved ones and get my unassisted birth.
If you read this thank you :) If you skimmed through, thank you still!!
P.s. It has been a couple of weeks since I wrote this and breastfeeding is completely wonderful with no pain whatsoever.