What would you ask or tell this teacher?

[DiscoveringMe]

My son is in first grade. His teacher took maternity leave earlier this month and won't be back until February. The substitute just finished her student teaching and is obviously quite inexperienced. The class is 25 high-energy students that she cannot get under control. She uses group punishments (everyone puts their heads on their desk, everyone misses recess) when just a couple kids are being disruptive and won't settle down.

Earlier this week, I got called two days in a row because my son claimed to have thrown up and needed to go home. Turns out he isn't sick at all, but hates school and will do anything to get out of being there. He is extremely bright and used to enjoy school.

The principal has set up a meeting between myself and the substitute teacher for Monday morning. I have no idea what I'm supposed to ask her or tell her, other than finding out if my son is one of the kids causing everyone else to get in trouble (I don't think so, but you never know). Any ideas? Should I give her some suggestions on classroom management? LOL! I've talked with another mom who volunteers in the class regularly, and she is not thrilled with this teacher either. It is a small school so I don't think moving him to another class is an option. Moving him to another school, however, is (if his father would agree).

I appreciate any advice.

[~cassie]

Hmm I don't think I would move him.  I would talk to her and maybe the principal can help her brainstorm ideas for managing the classroom.  You could tell her what seemed to work previously with the other teacher.  I'm surprised she didn't implement the same strategies that the other teacher had in place.

[Vancouver Mommy]

We had a similar situation. My dd started grade one this year and after loving kindergarten, the chaos in the classroom really stressed her out and created anxiety for her. She also was not enjoying school, which broke my heart. Her teacher is great, but got dealt a particularly challenging hand this year in terms of class dynamics - although it's a small class, it is two thirds boys, three with significant behaviour problems and one non-verbal autistic boy (he has a full time assistant and has no behaviour problems but screams intermittently). Two of the families don't seem to want to hear about their kids involvement, but one is working very hard with the teacher to turn things around).

The teacher is lovely and quite experienced, but I could see some days there were practically tears in her eyes by the end of the day. She was receptive when I told her of the problems my child was having (she is also a couple of grades ahead in math and reading, something the teacher had yet to address due to the fact that she was constantly putting out fires - figuratively speaking). I have to say that by mid-November things had gotten considerably better, as she was able to adapt the day and implement some techniques for controlling behaviour while at the same time creating more time for the kids who weren't causing the disturbances.

I would suggest you speak to the teacher, but try to be supportive. She knows she's not in control and is probably very self-conscious about this. I expect teaching has a very steep learning curve. But that doesn't make it any easier to see your kid enduring such a difficult time at school. It's probably reasonable to give her till Christmas to get things turned around, but it may help to speak to the principle about getting her some additional support if it's available.  

[LynnS6]

I'd say something like "It seems like the class has been having a rough time calming down after the old teacher left. Ds has a hard time when kids are being loud or disruptive, and so he's starting to not want to be in school. I know he shouldn't be making things up, but it seems to me he's feeling stressed with a new teacher and some new from some of the other kids." Ask her to describe your son's behavior. Be open to the idea that your son might be being disruptive.

Phrase a lot of things in terms of descriptions of your son's behaviors. Describe what he's been reporting about the classroom and ask what kinds of solutions the teacher can brainstorm. Suggest gently that whole class punishments aren't very effective, and that depriving the whole class of recess is probably counterproductive. Ask her what ideas she has for helping your son cope with the change of teachers and classroom routine. Then ask the principal if the new teacher has a mentor teacher that might help the teacher and class with the transition. (Research on new teachers have shown that new teachers with a mentor gain the skills they need faster and are more likely to stay in the profession. This poor new teacher NEEDS a mentor.)

I'd focus, for now, on the idea that both the class and the teacher need to transition.