Eclectic spirits--How do you approach Christmas with your kids?

[SweetSilver]

How do you talk to your kids about the religious aspects of the Christmas celebration?  Especially when you are not technically Christian (note the capital "C"!)?  Or if your views don't exactly fit with your church?  How do you explain the lyrics of the Christmas carols?  Why do you celebrate it in the first place?

[serenbat]

by staring with truth- Christmas isn't christian and Easter isn't either

we hate "Christmas music and carols" so that's easy!

facts/history behind the origins of the holidays (tree, holy, eggs, bunnies, etc) are great starters

[Wolfcat]

I teach DS (5yo) about the different beliefs for the different holidays. For example, I told him about Yule and the sun coming back. Then, when he asked about a book on the Christmas Story, I told him about Jesus being like the sun for Christians. (Better then DH, who read the book saying "hey-soos" instead of Jesus.)

[Koalamom]

I don't mind carols as long as there are some really freat fun songs mixed in. I do teach the story of the nativity and I love teaching about angels. I am kind of christian, as I beleive in Jesus and God, but not so much in the angry god of the Old Testament. Now if a holiday were revolved around that, we would just skip it.

[SweetSilver]

I do sing carols, mainly because they are musically very beautiful to me.  I do need to explain some things, like "Lord" and those things.  (Like "Round yon virgin" hmmmm.....)  I can feel pretty torn, but in the end the music wins out.  

We celebrate Christmas, I'm afraid, because I have always celebrated it (lame reason, but honest) but I do let my girls know that this is the time of year we celebrate Jesus' birth, even though we don't know when his birthday is.  I have to explain Jesus to them and why we would even celebrate his birth.  Funny that we would celebrate the birth of a man who stated in no uncertain terms that we needed to give up all our worldly possessions by spending billions of dollars on Stuff.  But there it is.  Solstice time is so dark and rainy here, one of the dreariest times of the year, that the lights, the sparkly tree, all the trappings of Christmas are most welcome.  We also celebrate the Solstice in our own way, and I let them know that the Solstice and Yule is why we celebrate Christmas when we do.

As the years pass I know that we will explore this time in more depth.

[serenbat]

 Funny that we would celebrate the birth of a man who stated in no uncertain terms that we needed to give up all our worldly possessions by spending billions of dollars on Stuff

you need some history here - you need to understand the reason the Catholic church picked that date! and reason behind gifts

now it's not in-depth but the "history of--" on the History Channel does a good starter program, they have one on Halloween as well, and goes a bit into the "reasoning" behind a few thing- the date had to do with Yule, same goes for Easter (all about those wayyyyyy tooooo merry pagans!)

http://shop.history.com/detail.php?p=285192&v=history&ecid=PRF-2103905&pa=PRF-2103905

http://www.history.com/topics/halloween

http://www.history.com/topics/christmas

http://www.history.com/photos/christmas-history-of-santa-claus

http://www.history.com/topics/history-of-easter

http://www.history.com/topics/easter-symbols

[SweetSilver]

Thanks for the links--  I love that kind of stuff.  I'll have to look at it a bit later though.  Those crazy pagans!

I'd love to find some good kid-friendly books for celebrating Yule.  For Winter Solstice I like to read (or tell) the stories of Raven Steals the Light or the story of how the animals of the Earth journeyed to the sky to bring back the bag of light that Bear was hoarding in a sack.  I know of another with a spider.  I know these are more creation myths, but I find them very appropriate for the season.  We celebrate Solstice dinner by turning out all the lights in the house, lighting several candles and sitting down to a fancy dinner, just our little family.  

For Jesus stories and songs, I like best the ones that focus on the Christ child in the stable, like the Friendly Beasts, and (the book) Who Is Coming to Our House?.  My girls are still quite young yet.  I don't mind nativity stories, but they get sooooo religious (Our Lord etc. etc.) that I just can't bear them.  I end up having to tell the story myself, which is not a bad alternative.  Still looking for just the right book.  I'm sorry, but while I celebrate Jesus' birth, he's really just a Cool Dude, not a god-figure to me, though I find the metaphors fascinating and like nothing better than to sit and listen to those who have studied this subject in depth.  So, naturally, back to the links-- thanks!

[canadianhippie]

oh history network! thank you thats awesome

My family celebrated christmas in the normal sense, santa and big dinner, watch christmas movies, attended christmas mass only a few times in my life, maybe more before me (im the last of 4)

I would still like to give my son the same experiences, however I made a decision during pregnancy that there will be no elaborate stories of Santa coming into our house and these are from Santa gifts. I remember the day i found out about the easter bunny and tooth fairy and santa and i felt terrible, i believe in providing him with the whole truth and nothing but, he's only 2 ! i got time to work through the details but that's my stance

I think it's ok to submerge yourself in celebrating these traditional holidays, but I would like to share all seasonal holidays with him. We have a advent fair to go to, some caroling at my mother's denomination church, we did do a Santa picture, but you know give him the whole picture of all cultures ( were rural so if i intend to venture into other cultures, ill have to get creative and read up!)

I have to catch myself frequently though since Im raising him different from what i was, i guess my thing is to teach him the story of jesus's birth and a lovely man (santa) who we share gifts with each other on behalf of? no milk and cookies business (sorry to say) maybe ill stretch it to be symbolic of sharing goodies to all children and others before bed, not sure but thank you for posting the thread, this will be good convo!

[serenbat]

I only have the Halloween book and it is really for older children (5+) not really a picture book 

but she wrote others - http://www.amazon.com/Edna-Barth/e/B001IXMCKE

the Halloween book is very good, so if the others are like that it would be a start- at least check it out and see if this helps you (most libraries should have her stuff)

she gets into the "symbols" and that is easy for children to get

[SweetSilver]

Thanks, that looks like a good start. Last night on the way to bed, my oldest, 6.75yo, started talking about what the Christmas colors mean.  She mentioned that red was for Jesus' blood.  Wow, pretty good!  (Did I mention blood?)  I told her the story of mistletoe, or at least what I know.  I described how it grows on the oak trees, and how in spring when all the leaves are finally gone, the mistletoe looks like great spheres of fireworks suspended in the tree.  I told them the story of holly and the crown of thorns and the blood.  I am so impressed with my kids sometimes.

I look forward to adding more to the story.

[philomom]

Actually the red and green belongs to the pagans. Long before xtians these were the colors of winter solstice with the holly and the ivy. Pagans had long decorated their home with evergreens at solstice/saturnalia time..... the bible has a verse that frowns on it but the pagans won this one and now all xtians think these things are "xtian".

[SweetSilver]

Originally Posted by philomom 

Actually the red and green belongs to the pagans. Long before xtians these were the colors of winter solstice with the holly and the ivy. Pagans had long decorated their home with evergreens at solstice/saturnalia time..... the bible has a verse that frowns on it but the pagans won this one and now all xtians think these things are "xtian".

Interesting.  I thought that the holly was a replacement for the mistletoe.  Shows you how much more I have to learn!  

[philomom]

Nope, holly was pagan, too.

http://catholicexchange.com/2002/12/23/93348/

[SweetSilver]

My oldest daughter and I watched all the video links, and I read most of the article on holly and mistletoe.  I love the part about woodland spirits!  

[philomom]

Here's a good one!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCVt_j1A68c&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9H9Fi4Qcus&feature=related

I wish my own childhood could have been more like this!

[SweetSilver]

It's because of my mother that I am the way I am.  While we were nominally Christian, religion didn't really enter our lives, except celebrating Christmas and Easter baskets (once I got a milk chocolate cross!  Can I eat this??)  She was always open to other beliefs when they came up.  That's why it was a shock when she visited me as an adult and faked sobbed that her granddaughter was "living in sin (short gasp!)"  

I am a bit more proactive about celebrations and spirituality, hopefully preserving that openness that my mother demonstrated.

[serenbat]

and at Easter you can eat "pagan" buns! just mess up the frosting cross!

and by the way we don't hand our tree upside down 

[SweetSilver]

The question still remains in my mind how do other observant folks, especially those who are only nominally Christian (or not really even that, as in my case) talk about the birth of Jesus and the celebration of it with their kids?  And why do our families celebrate it at all?  (Beyond my own lame excuse of "because that's the way we've always done it".)  

Why are we not just celebrating Solstice, Yule, Saturnalia, whatever?  I know in my family we do try to honor the ancient celebrations in our own way, but still we celebrate Christmas, and I hope that we can make sure that it is not just a blind tradition.  What is left for those of us who don't buy into the Christian myth lock, stock and barrel?  I have my own reasons (and excuses).  

I think I'm pushing the subject matter a bit, so I apologize in advance.  I don't mean my curious questions to sound judgmental at all, no no no.  This has all been fun....

[puffingirl]

DH is Christian and I identify as Buddhist but we all celebrate Christmas and I am trying to make the holiday season as sacred as possible, in a wide sense, for DD (she's 4).  My best friend is Jewish, so we get to celebrate Chanukkah with her too and DD is hearing all the stories of the various holidays around this time of year.  With Christmas itself, we are talking about celebrating the "birthday" of Jesus (more like celebrating that he was born at all, not the particular day) and doing things that reflect the spirit of Jesus--giving and sharing, helping others, letting people we are close to know how much they are loved, etc.  I don't believe in Jesus as a Savior but think that so many of his teachings on compassion and mercy are exactly what I want to teach my child and that is worth celebrating anytime.  We tell her that her father and I believe different things and that she is free to learn about all different ideas and pick what works best for her.  So, we listen to Christmas music, go to Chanukkah parties, talk about Solstice and the return of the sun and then try to put it all into action--picking out stuff for Toys for Tots, donating food and clothes, making gifts for others, making suncatcher crafts, whatever works.  Hope that helps and that you have a lovely holiday season.  

[Liquesce]

Originally Posted by SweetSilver 

and I hope that we can make sure that it is not just a blind tradition.

My family participates in Christmas because it is partially a family and fully a regional tradition -- I don't really view that as blind.  It's mostly just saying that while the origins and history of it are not important to me, people and place are.  And it's enjoyable, which is certainly valuable for its own sake.  When a non-Muslim relative joined me in a Muslim-majority country over Eid, she didn't say, "no, no, I'm not of your religion ... these feasts and gifts and good times everyone around me are enjoying are not for me."  She took part.  And was welcome to.  And had fun.  Which was not blind either -- it was just participating in pleasantries on the level that are open to all, without bothering one way or the other about the parts that require more full religious participation.