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do you trade sleep for alone time? - Page 3

post #41 of 58

how do you mamas get chores done or have the energy to play with your kids with not enough sleep? For me I do love my alone time but I equally love being rested. Some nights I sacrifice sleep for a lone time, but not on a continual basis, especially if I'm sleep deprived from the night before, or several nights before. I have to make up for it somehow.

post #42 of 58

One thing that has helped me is that dh is a morning person.  He did the early morning parenting while I got to sleep in.  And since Joy was 6 when I was pregnant with Angela, I could leave her and Erica alone while I talked myself out of bed if dh left early when I was pregnant with Angela.  With Dylan, he is a night owl like me and never went to bed before 10 as a toddler so I would put him in bed at 10 and go take a bath.  He also didn't wake up until 8 so I had some alone time in the morning.  And took a nap clear up to Kindergarten.  Which helped contribute to his not going to bed until 10 but I wasn't ready to give up those 2 hours in the middle of the day of peace and quiet.

 

Chris

post #43 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsBone View Post

how do you mamas get chores done or have the energy to play with your kids with not enough sleep? For me I do love my alone time but I equally love being rested. Some nights I sacrifice sleep for a lone time, but not on a continual basis, especially if I'm sleep deprived from the night before, or several nights before. I have to make up for it somehow.



I mean- my house isn't filthy.  I work 2 days/wk, and I'm usually working a 4pm-11pm shift, and with commute, I'm getting home at 12:30am- so I almost have to keep myself in the "staying up late" schedule, for work.  

 

I don't really interfere with my kids' play.  They're in their own little wonderland and it's nice to sit back and observe when they aren't looking! :)

 

Though I do agree a little- making breakfast is like pulling teeth for me.  I dread it- so we've been doing oatmeal and nut butter sandwiches, lol.  We eat small meals throughout the day though, so not a hugee issue.

post #44 of 58

A few months back, I'd never have dreamed that I'd be willing to give up sleep for alone-time. But then I started gradually becoming immersed in yoga as a way of life, and one of my learners turned me onto a wonderful yoga ritual called the Five Tibetan Rites. I started out, as she advised, doing just three of each rite and adding two each week...I have now worked my way up doing to 17 of each, every morning, which means that, the week before Christmas, I'll be doing the full 21 of each, which should take me about 30-35 minutes.

 

I feel wonderful and really see this morning ritual as an integral way to increase the exchange of energy between myself and the universal energy-field. As I've begun doing this, I've also begun to find it integral to have 30 minutes of meditation after the Rites, which means that I now get up an hour earlier than I used to.

 

I start giving my telephone English lessons at 6 AM, so this means I get up at 4 AM. When I started getting up earlier, I determined that I didn't want to take time away from my family by going to bed an hour earlier, so I still go to sleep about the same time I did before -- between 9 and 10 PM. It's working out really well and I have so much more energy now!


Edited by mammal_mama - 12/8/11 at 2:29pm
post #45 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsBone View Post

how do you mamas get chores done or have the energy to play with your kids with not enough sleep? For me I do love my alone time but I equally love being rested. Some nights I sacrifice sleep for a lone time, but not on a continual basis, especially if I'm sleep deprived from the night before, or several nights before. I have to make up for it somehow.

Being rested sounds nice but it's just not a luxury I can afford right now if I want to maintain any semblance of sanity. For me, spending an hour or two reading or whatever is way better for me than an hour or two of sleep. I don't find the extra sleep helps me feel any more energized, but the time alone definitely makes a difference in my outlook & therefore my energy, my ability to be fully present to DS, etc.. My DS is incredibly clingy so I am really desperate for that space -- maybe if he were calmer & more independent, I could snatch 10mins here & there throughout the day while he entertained himself & then I wouldn't be so in need of mental peace!! However, I survived throughout highschool & college on about 4-6 hours of sleep a night, so maybe I'm just predisposed to need less sleep. wink1.gif
post #46 of 58
Thread Starter 

OP here: yes, i think for some (*a lot* judging by the size this thread has grown to) of moms of young children, having some alone time is recharging in a way that sleep is for other people. 

 

i'm heartened to learn that this phase will pass, when the kids are older i may not be so desperate for the alone time as i am nowadays, when they are only reliably occupied when asleep. 

 

here's one thing that does concern me, though, and i'm curious if others have experienced it as well... i've been reading that if you get less sleep at night, you are more likely to be overweight. i've been trying to drop some pounds lately, and i've been successful so far, but i'm starting to hit a plateau after eliminating fast food, pop and most processed foods. i'm going to target going to bed earlier next, and see if it makes a difference. i read that you need 7+ hours of sleep to have a normal healthy weight. getting 6 puts you at a 50 percent (or so) risk of overweight, while getting only 5 or less hours increases your risk of overweight to somewhere like 77 percent.

 

thoughts on this?

 

 

post #47 of 58

tropicana,

 

Your question is a very interesting one since I, at just under 5'10" tall had actually gotten up to about 280 pounds. I think I have lost about 20 of that. I'm actually finding, like crunchy_mommy, that I am a lot more engergetic with less sleep (and with the wonderful renewal time) than I was with more sleep. Only, in my case, I think I need somewhat more sleep than she does -- like, 6-7 hours.

 

I have always been the sort of person who never feels rested and ready to get up when I first wake up, no matter how much sleep I get. I never feel like being up until I've been up and moving around for a few minutes, so, as you can imagine, when I was younger I was sort of like the queen of sleeping in whenever I had the chance. Within the last few years (I'm 47 now) I've sadly noticed that the pleasure of enjoying a lie-in now comes hand-in-hand with the "joy" of dealing with back pain whenever I have a chance to stay in bed longer than about 8 hours.

 

The thing is, with my new routine, I think I actually sleep more efficiently than I did when I was less active and was getting a lot more sleep. I've never been the kind of person who could just lie down and say, "Okay, it's time to go to sleep now." And, at various times in my life, I've gone through times of having extreme insomnia, although I will say that becoming a mom has cured me of my really, really extreme insomnia. Still, I've had plenty of nights as a mom where I wasn't able to fall asleep when I really needed to and was tired as a result.

 

But now that I've been following my new routine (of getting up at 4 every single day) for about 6 weeks, I'm dropping off to sleep much more easily and feeling much more alert and energetic throughout the day. In addition to my morning Tibetan Rites, I also walk our dog a few times a week, and do a Hatha Yoga easy floor workout at least two times per week, and more when I can fit it in. I'd love to do two other these things every. single. day...and sometimes, when walking our dog, I feel like I could easily double our regular walk and the only thing that's stopping me is the fact that I feel like a 40-minute walk is a reasonable amount of time to be away from my family, but 80 or so minutes would just be too much.

 

So whereas I used to take breaks from my walking routine because I was too tired, I now ALWAYS feel like doing it (even in this cold weather) and I'd always love to do my Hatha yoga, too,..and when I take a break, it's in order to be more available to my family, not out of tiredness. This is such a wonderful feeling!

post #48 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by tropicana View Post

OP here: yes, i think for some (*a lot* judging by the size this thread has grown to) of moms of young children, having some alone time is recharging in a way that sleep is for other people. 

 

i'm heartened to learn that this phase will pass, when the kids are older i may not be so desperate for the alone time as i am nowadays, when they are only reliably occupied when asleep. 

 

here's one thing that does concern me, though, and i'm curious if others have experienced it as well... i've been reading that if you get less sleep at night, you are more likely to be overweight. i've been trying to drop some pounds lately, and i've been successful so far, but i'm starting to hit a plateau after eliminating fast food, pop and most processed foods. i'm going to target going to bed earlier next, and see if it makes a difference. i read that you need 7+ hours of sleep to have a normal healthy weight. getting 6 puts you at a 50 percent (or so) risk of overweight, while getting only 5 or less hours increases your risk of overweight to somewhere like 77 percent.

 

thoughts on this?

 

 



The thing with less sleep and gaining weight is that a person will eat to keep themselves awake when they should be sleeping.  I have to watch that.  If I find myself foraging for food late at night when I'm really not hungry, it's a sign that I need to go to bed.

 

post #49 of 58

imho there is so much to losing weight than what general society has been throwing at you. 

 

for me its not about sleep.

 

its more about balance.

 

i have done nothing but been more calm and i lost 20 pounds without even trying. the change that happened then was i got out of my freakout mode. i got into the F***it mode. that i no longer cared about what happened. that i was willing to face the consequences. i learnt in most cases everything did work out.

 

there IS something to finding the calmness within. 

 

however you also have to keep a reasonable weight in mind looking at your mom. in other words genetics. i dont try to go back to my high school weight. i dont even try to go back to my pre-preggo weight. what you weighed at 20 is different than 30. as you grow older you keep your weight more. 

post #50 of 58

meemee, I totally agree with everything you just said here!

 

I have found that making the time to meditate has really helped me to carry that calmness, that ability to just breathe, just BE totally present right here in each and every moment, into the entire day. And this is really helping to release me from my cravings.

 

The other morning, I was reading a book at church and someone came in with a couple of boxes of Lamar's Donuts. I had automatically shut my book and gotten to my feet before I suddenly realized, "I am not the least bit hungry! Why am I doing this?" And I sat back down and got back into my book, feeling totally content. And happy that I had remembered to be mindful about what I was putting into my mouth.

 

Not that I don't still enjoy sweets sometimes -- it's just that, at that moment, I knew that I was really, really full from the big breakfast I'd had and did not need it.

 

I speak as someone who is coming out of a lifetime of eating for emotional pick-me-ups and not just physical ones, so what might not seem so WOW! to another person is a really cool step in the right direction for me.

 

A few months back, I realized that I was on a really unhealthy path and I needed to change if I wanted to stay healthy and live for a long time. At the same time, I knew that some extreme change would not work for me in the long term because it would be unsustainable. So I decided that I needed to start forming some small habits that I could continue for the rest of my life.

 

It was around this time that I got turned onto Yoga/meditation, and this practice led me to gradually move my wakeup time a little earlier and a little earlier. This extra time helps me to get the perspective I need. And, like meemee, I'm really not focused on achieving a particular weight. I just want to continue my healthy practices from here on out.

 

post #51 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post

meemee, I totally agree with everything you just said here!

 

I have found that making the time to meditate has really helped me to carry that calmness, that ability to just breathe, just BE totally present right here in each and every moment, into the entire day. And this is really helping to release me from my cravings.

 

The other morning, I was reading a book at church and someone came in with a couple of boxes of Lamar's Donuts. I had automatically shut my book and gotten to my feet before I suddenly realized, "I am not the least bit hungry! Why am I doing this?" And I sat back down and got back into my book, feeling totally content. And happy that I had remembered to be mindful about what I was putting into my mouth.

 

Not that I don't still enjoy sweets sometimes -- it's just that, at that moment, I knew that I was really, really full from the big breakfast I'd had and did not need it.

 

I speak as someone who is coming out of a lifetime of eating for emotional pick-me-ups and not just physical ones, so what might not seem so WOW! to another person is a really cool step in the right direction for me.

 

A few months back, I realized that I was on a really unhealthy path and I needed to change if I wanted to stay healthy and live for a long time. At the same time, I knew that some extreme change would not work for me in the long term because it would be unsustainable. So I decided that I needed to start forming some small habits that I could continue for the rest of my life.

 

It was around this time that I got turned onto Yoga/meditation, and this practice led me to gradually move my wakeup time a little earlier and a little earlier. This extra time helps me to get the perspective I need. And, like meemee, I'm really not focused on achieving a particular weight. I just want to continue my healthy practices from here on out.

 


I know that your post is about yoga and meditation but this just struck me:  "it's just that, at that moment, i knew that I was really, really full from the big breakfast I'd had and did not need it."  I'm not hungry first thing in the morning.  I need to be up doing stuff before I can eat but I can forget to eat until it's too late.   And when I don't eat breakfast at a reasonable time in the morning, I do fall into the temptation of eating junk food instead of healthy, wholesome foods.  And my habit of eating instead of going to bed when I'm tired doesn't help.  When i do that, I'm not hungry in the morning so I put off eating until I'm "starving" and then eat things that don't require preparation or thought instead of making a good breakfast.  

 

post #52 of 58



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sewchris2642 View Post


I know that your post is about yoga and meditation but this just struck me:  "it's just that, at that moment, i knew that I was really, really full from the big breakfast I'd had and did not need it."  I'm not hungry first thing in the morning.  I need to be up doing stuff before I can eat but I can forget to eat until it's too late.   And when I don't eat breakfast at a reasonable time in the morning, I do fall into the temptation of eating junk food instead of healthy, wholesome foods.  And my habit of eating instead of going to bed when I'm tired doesn't help.  When i do that, I'm not hungry in the morning so I put off eating until I'm "starving" and then eat things that don't require preparation or thought instead of making a good breakfast.  

 


I have really noticed, with my daughters, that it's very important for me to be a little proactive and make sure that I periodically offer them some healthy food options, or else they will tend to get absorbed in their interests and suddenly be craving the quick energy of sweets. I know this is sort of off the topic of sleep -- but, in a way, it's really not if our making time to center ourselves can help us to be more mindful all throughout the day.

 

In my own case, there used to be various concerns (such as the one that I mentioned above) that would just pop up -- and I mean sometimes the same ones over and over again and I'd be, like, oops, I forgot about that, I really need to do something about that...whereas now, solutions are just sort of flowing into my mind, and they're really simple solutions in most cases. So that I'm able to prevent more problems before they crop up. I really, honestly believe one thing I heard about meditation -- that making the time to just "be," rather than letting my mind keep running in a lot of different directions following every thought that comes up, acually makes me more creative. So this is one wonderful benefit of giving up a little sleep.
 

 

post #53 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post



 


I have really noticed, with my daughters, that it's very important for me to be a little proactive and make sure that I periodically offer them some healthy food options, or else they will tend to get absorbed in their interests and suddenly be craving the quick energy of sweets. I know this is sort of off the topic of sleep -- but, in a way, it's really not if our making time to center ourselves can help us to be more mindful all throughout the day.

 

In my own case, there used to be various concerns (such as the one that I mentioned above) that would just pop up -- and I mean sometimes the same ones over and over again and I'd be, like, oops, I forgot about that, I really need to do something about that...whereas now, solutions are just sort of flowing into my mind, and they're really simple solutions in most cases. So that I'm able to prevent more problems before they crop up. I really, honestly believe one thing I heard about meditation -- that making the time to just "be," rather than letting my mind keep running in a lot of different directions following every thought that comes up, acually makes me more creative. So this is one wonderful benefit of giving up a little sleep.
 

 




It sounds like what sewing does for me.  I am fortunate in that my at home business also serves as meditation time.  I can really zone out and be in my own mind while I sew.

post #54 of 58

Almost nightly I stay up after I finally get DD to bed (she is up very late), take a shower, and then read or watch tv for an hour.  I really should be sleeping because I am lucky if she sleeps 8 hours total for the night, but I NEED that alone time.  It is the only time I have to recharge.

post #55 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by sewchris2642 View Post




It sounds like what sewing does for me.  I am fortunate in that my at home business also serves as meditation time.  I can really zone out and be in my own mind while I sew.



How wonderful! That sounds like pure bliss.

 

My telephone English lessons don't allow me to zone out; however, they do meet a huge chunk of my social needs. So I find that I'm spending a lot less time in Internet discussions that I did before I had this job, which frees me up to be more available to my family when I'm not giving lessons.

 

post #56 of 58

okay so now that my baby is 7 months, eating solids and needing a schedule, I'm finding that sacrificing a little sleep is worth having some time alone just to get some things done. I woke at at 5 this morning< couldnt sleep and so I got all the presents wrapped, toy room cleaned and sorted through and all the dishes done before the kids woke. that would have taken at least a day to get done if I was doing it with the kids around. totally worth it lol.

post #57 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsBone View Post

how do you mamas get chores done or have the energy to play with your kids with not enough sleep? For me I do love my alone time but I equally love being rested. Some nights I sacrifice sleep for a lone time, but not on a continual basis, especially if I'm sleep deprived from the night before, or several nights before. I have to make up for it somehow.



If all I did was care for my child, do chores, and get a full nights sleep every night, I would hardly ever have time for myself. That would much more quickly lead to me burning out, than missing an hour or two of sleep a few nights a week. Also, my son is pretty independent, I don't have to keep him entertained by playing with him. We play games, read, and do other activities together pretty much everyday, but that's for maybe a couple hours at most. 

post #58 of 58

I just read an article that made me realize that too much sleep can be just as bad for health as too little. Here is the link: http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5hWunXgSv1HSFpl-vpz7RiYZ4BbCA

 

I actually do feel, though, that we are all individuals and one person's "magic number" may be all wrong for another person. Still, I feel pretty good now about getting 6 to 7 hours and not more or less. I do feel more rested the closer I get to 7, though. 

 

I was actually just reading a discussion on a yoga blog about some yogis needing very little sleep -- but others also commented that they needed more. So it definitely seems best to just listen to our own bodies.

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