visitation/custody with an infant

[ILoveMyBabyBird]

H is planning to move out soon, we have a 5 year old and an infant, how does visitiation work, particularly with the infant? I have been reading online overnights are not usually good for infants. I do not have an issue with overnights, but want some insight and pros/cons. My DD is very fond of H, and sleeps through the night. What have others experienced. Right now, H is wanting both kids 2 days/nights a week. I was contemplating starting DD out on 2 days/one night a week and Ds on 2days/2nights. My main concrn is instability. I will be in the marital home until Divorce, ?H will then move back in. i dont like the idea of the going back and forth and moving often. i have discussed with H about switching places, ie i live in the appt. the days he has kids so the kids stay in the marital home until the D.  Just brainstorming and looking for thoughts.

[Learning_Mum]

How old is your youngest?

I would say if you are fine with overnights, and you think your DD will be too then there shouldn't be a problem.

Mine were 4yo and 15mth when STBX left. We started overnights straight away and both boys were fine with this. STBX has the boys from Sat morning until Sun night, each weekend. I personally wouldn't do any more than that, esp. in the beginning.

I wouldn't like the idea of the parents swapping houses for visitation. I think it will be easier for the kids to adjust to the split if it's clear from the beginning that Daddy lives somewhere else now. Also, when the boys are at their Dad's place I like to have my space to relax and enjoy and I would also feel incredibly uncomfortable leaving STBX alone in my house, with my things.

ETA: I would keep both kids on the same visitation schedule. I know that my two wouldn't want to be visiting Daddy without the other one. I think it could also cause problems with your 5yo wanting to be home with you and little sis instead of alone with Dad.

[ILoveMyBabyBird]

DD is 7 months

[Phoenix~Mama]

I left my EX when I was pregnant with DS, so visitation with him started pretty early on. DS started overnights with him when he was only 3 months old. But the situation is unique in that DS was a preemie and spent his first month away from me to begin with in the NICU. DS has a very easy going and adaptable personality, I think in part because of how his life started. He is such a mellow baby and he just goes with the flow.  The visitation schedule was EOW, Friday night to Sunday morning. Often EX would cancel Friday nights though, so it was really Saturday afternoon until Sunday morning. DS did fine. But I think this really does depend on the child's overall personality as to how well they will adapt.

I would keep both kids on the same visitation schedule too. I can't imagine my kids being thrilled about being with Daddy separately. They are peas in a pod. lol

Good luck!

[Goodmom2008]

Originally Posted by ILoveMyBabyBird 

DD is 7 months

Are you breastfeeding?  If so, I would nix the overnights.  Even though your baby does sleep through the night, being away from the food source for 24 to 48 hours will have an impact on your supply.