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[Mommel]

Is there someone out there that would like to co-lead with me?

I'm so happy that I'm not on Facebook, but every so often there are things I wish I could share with the cyberworld and I think to myself, "if only I had a Facebook page..." but then I remember why I don't have one. 

Here are my top three reasons:

1. Too much drama... and I get sucked in way too easily.

2. No privacy... is it really necessary to tell all of your friends and mine that I was at your barbecue last night? Or worse yet, that I will be there tonight? Potential for stalker-ville, maybe? Yuck.

3. False sense of intimacy: just because I know your status updates every hour for the last two years doesn't mean I actually know you, or vice versa... an online persona does not a friend make, ya dig?

What are your reasons?

[EuroMama]

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Edited by EuroMama - 2/16/12 at 8:24pm

[*bejeweled*]

Hi, glad to see this group. I quit FB a year or more ago. I quit because:

1) It reminds me of high school.

2) It is a time suck.

3) I value privacy and mystery.

4) There is a false sense of intimacy. No, we're not really friends.

5) It does not represent who a person truly is, rather the image that they want to portray to the world.

6) It often engenders jealousy, hurt feelings and unnecessary drama.

[DallasMomAgain]

I have a FB page which I don't visit often. I am contemplating on deleting it forever for these reasons: 

1) It steals major part of my time once I get hooked to it.

2) Get distracted and visit photos/pages of people I don't even know, and then feel guilty about it!

3) Uncomfortable to post my or my family's photos these days, because there might be many others who are strangers to us and might be lingering on to my stuff just for fun! I am starting to value my privacy. 

4) FB friendship is not real. I have a bunch of people on my friend lists, from my previous jobs, from people I met in a party to my closest friends. I am not interested in more than 75% of these so-called FB friends.

5) There are better ways to keep in touch. For current and ex colleagues, nothing can beat Linked-in. For the friends and family that matter, email/phone call works the best. 

I will probably delete my account in a few days! Glad to see people staying away from FB. These days, FB/twitter is the coolest thing you could ever do!

[Buzzer Beater]

All of the reasons listed by previous posters... but for me it is mostly about the privacy. I have no desire to post my pic, tell people what I am up to all day. About two years ago I had an account open for a few days to see if I could connect with some old friends. I did, and they were all playing Farmville and not interested in having conversations. I just closed the account. My friends IRL are not generally on FB, and also less likely to watch tv, have cell phones, some don't have computers outside of work etc. Most of my family is on FB and holy cow we get enough drama and "connecting" at the holidays.

[AndtheStars]

Hi guys!    I too was excited to see this group. 

Ditto to all the reasons above.  I guess another reason for me is that maybe I just don't like people very much.  That sounds awful but the thought of having to nice-nice with that many people all day...yuck.  FB doesn't appeal to me at all, in any way.  I take that back.  I hear people say that they get coupons from places that they 'like' on FB.  I like coupons.  But not that much. 

I'm really hoping that all of us non-FB users will someday be vindicated but I bet the 8-track, record, tape, VHS lovers said the same thing and look what happened.

[*bejeweled*]

Exactly!

[quote name="Buzzer Beater" url=Most of my family is on FB and holy cow we get enough drama and "connecting" at the holidays.
[/quote]

[MovnMama]

Urgh... Just typed out this whole response and it got deleted. Anyway, suffice it to say that I'm proud to have never been on fb. The social issues are one thing (all my colleagues and many pseudo close friends are on Facebook and it runs thier social lives). Like, I was not invited to a bachelorette party recently, from a close group that I see really frequently. I was actually pretty insulted. Why wasn't I invited? No Facebook page. How ridiculous. You see me in IRL on an almost weekly basis but can't be bothered to remember my existence unless I'm on your Internet social network? PUH-leez. 

But the privacy (the user agreement, specially) is another, and that's my main reason to not be on it. If you post a photo on fb, they own the photo, forever, even if you delete the photo.  It brings up serious issues about other people posting pictures that include them and me or my family... It's an ethical bag of worms. No laughing, I'm thinking of having cards made that say "I'm not on Facebook - please don't put me there" or something. Like for birthday parties for DS, or whatever. Some reading for you, below. 

http://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/15706/should-birthday-party-photos-be-posted-on-facebook/

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/11/04/posting-photos-of-other-peoples-children/

Happy to join the group!

[MovnMama]

Double post. Deleted. Jeez, technical difficulties!

[Linda on the move]

I'm not on facebook either!  For a lot of the same reasons already stated, but a few different ones.

I've changed a lot over the years, and I've also moved around. I don't want to re-connect to everyone. The thought overwhelms me. It's just too many people for one thing, and I've changed so much I feel like I would have to explain who I am now over and over. The best way I can explain it is to compare it to re-incarnation. I don't have any desire to meet up with people I knew in other lifetimes because I'm living the life I have now with the people who are it now. People I was friends will 10, 20, 30 years ago feel to me like friends from another lifetime.

Second, we know several couples who've ended up with marriage problems (even divorced) over stuff that started on facebook. It creeps me out. I know that facebook doesn't *cause* the problems, and that lots of lots of people use facebook and stay happily married, but we've seen it happen enough times that this is on my list of reasons.

Third, which has already be stated in other ways by other posters, I'm just a private person.

[EuroMama]

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Edited by EuroMama - 2/16/12 at 8:24pm

[Lidamama84]

This timing is soo perfect!!! I was just bumming around on MDC, missing my DDC and wishing I had FB (even though I hate it), just to be able to connect with a group to chat. 

I hate FB for all the same reasons already mentioned: lack of privacy, drama, meeting ppl you don't wan't to meet ever again, the blurred lines between private and business life, the time suck...IMO, if you can't be bothered to send me an email/call me/text me, then you're not a friend anyway :)

I totally hear those people who use it to stay connected to long-distance family, but what about using Google+ ? I just started using it, and I like that you can sort people into "circles", and you decide which circle(s) see what you post...Only problem is not many people on Google+ :(

[RabbitMomma]

So glad to see this group! I was roped into making a fb page by my family, I moved to the UK last year and everyone was always telling me how much easier it would be to "connect" if I had a fb page. So I gave in and made a page only to remember why I LOATHE fb. No one really interacts, its all so superficial with one worded comments and people "liking" your pictures and posts. I thought my aunts uncles and sisters would have a bit more to say to the pictures I post of my 3 month old other than "like", or respond with more than 1-2 words when I take the time to write on their wall asking how they're doing. It seems to me fb is more a way for people to show off their lives to their friends, not to pursue real relationships. So my fb is deleted, if anyone wants to talk to me they can email or god forbid call. Does anyone? Nope, only to ask where I went on fb, they miss me on fb because they can't talk to me anymore.  

Sorry, I'm in a bit of a ranty mood today. 

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by RabbitMomma 

No one really interacts, its all so superficial with one worded comments and people "liking" your pictures and posts. I thought my aunts uncles and sisters would have a bit more to say to the pictures I post of my 3 month old other than "like", or respond with more than 1-2 words when I take the time to write on their wall asking how they're doing. It seems to me fb is more a way for people to show off their lives to their friends, not to pursue real relationships. S

yes, and to create stupid drama. 

One of my acquaintances complained recently that's it hard for her to stay in touch with me because I'm not on facebook. I have a house phone, a cell phone, unlimited texting, an email account, a street mailing address, and she drives within 5 minutes of my house twice a day, 5 days a week. We are having trouble connecting because it isn't a big priority to her because she is busy with her new boyfriend, which is fine. I really do understand.

But the problem isn't that I'm not on facebook or that I am hard to get a hold of.

[FloridaBorn]

Hey everyone!  I'm the gal who made the original Not on Facebook post in the Tribal section.

Anyway... my most recent rant is that I can't seem to get my 18 month old daughter involved in any local playgroups because *gasp* you guessed it!  I'm not on Facebook.  

*pulls out hair*

[orangemomma]

Hi  all,

I am completely new to MDC and was thrilled to find this tribe. I have never had a FB account. For me, I see it as a time waster and something that interferes with real communication. I have friends who pull their cars over to write on someone's wall - seriously??? At least they pull over.

Similar to what Linda On the Move said, I have a computer and use email quite a bit. I have a house phone and a cell. I haven't moved in years. I am not hiding.

[teastaigh]

Wow! I cannot believe that you are all here and that this group exists!

I feel very encouraged!

For me, I want to really focus on those dear people in my home and not

on creating some sort of external personae. I know some wonderful

people who extol the virtues of FB, but it seems, more than not, that

it is used as an escape in a narcissistic culture that fears and avoids

true intimacy and friendship.

Back to face-to-face time :)

teastaigh

[*bejeweled*]

A friend of mine just sent me a picture that was posted on FB today. It was sweet---a group pic of my debutante ball. (I'm still not joining though).

[*bejeweled*]

And a culture that values collecting "friends" and superficial images.

[quote name="teastaigh" url=
I know some wonderful
people who extol the virtues of FB, but it seems, more than not, that
it is used as an escape in a narcissistic culture that fears and avoids
true intimacy and friendship.

Back to face-to-face time
teastaigh
[/quote]

[EuroMama]

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Edited by EuroMama - 2/16/12 at 8:24pm