This question of, "when am I ready" seems so strange to me. There just, for me, doesn't seem to be any right or wrong time...I am open to the possibility and am working very hard on myself at the same time. I am not actively looking, but I am not running away or feeling guilty because I am flirting or talking to men I am interested in.
Have I been hurt? Oh yeah, but whenever you give your heart, you bear the risk of vulnerability! Do I have issues of trust? Oh yeah, but I know that not all men are like my ex.
I have also been very fortunate, as my problems with my ex (serious lack of communication, inability to truly develop strong attachments, no concept of commitment, etc) have much more to do with his horrible childhood of abuse and abandonment, then they have to do with me. Plus, he never cheated on me, never hurt me...he is just screwed up and I was naive in thinking that he had it all sorted out!
He is the first man that I fell in love with, but he is also the first man I have ever been with who has these serious problems. All of my previous partners have all been wonderful men, with wonderful childhoods. The only reason why I didn't end up marrying one of them or falling in love with them, was because i was too selfish and self-involved in my own life and career. So, I know, for a fact, that not all men are like stbx!
Maybe, because of all of this, it is easier for me to move on. I don't know...when I have that first date with a new man, I will see how ready I really am!
Have I been hurt? Oh yeah, but whenever you give your heart, you bear the risk of vulnerability! Do I have issues of trust? Oh yeah, but I know that not all men are like my ex.
I have also been very fortunate, as my problems with my ex (serious lack of communication, inability to truly develop strong attachments, no concept of commitment, etc) have much more to do with his horrible childhood of abuse and abandonment, then they have to do with me. Plus, he never cheated on me, never hurt me...he is just screwed up and I was naive in thinking that he had it all sorted out!
He is the first man that I fell in love with, but he is also the first man I have ever been with who has these serious problems. All of my previous partners have all been wonderful men, with wonderful childhoods. The only reason why I didn't end up marrying one of them or falling in love with them, was because i was too selfish and self-involved in my own life and career. So, I know, for a fact, that not all men are like stbx!
Maybe, because of all of this, it is easier for me to move on. I don't know...when I have that first date with a new man, I will see how ready I really am!
