I'm really grateful for this conversation b/c I've actually realized just how sensitive this *may be for dh's family. It's not actually our new sil we are concerned about. We realized this may trigger bil hugely with everything he went through with his ex wife a few years ago. It was a a tough tough time, and it did in fact end their marriage. And now, being newly married and considering trying to conceive; well if we bust in on Xmas with some big ol announcement, my dh is worried it will send his bro. over the edge. Although I don't think bil will outwardly react. That's not like him. But my dh has requested that maybe I have a private convo with sil (we are becoming close) and let her tell him. On top of that, we just lost my fil 2.5 months ago. While initially I thought this would be a bright spot for mil, I'm realizing this might actually trigger for her that there is another grandbaby fil won't get to know and vice versa. So I'm bummed to not be able to share in the cute way I thought to. It's not totally my choice, b/c of course I feel it is joyous news that should be celebrated but I do respect my dh's wishes, and I do understand human emotion and people's personal filters very well. I know people often have a difficult time moving outside of themselves and not taking things personally. Plus, I really love dh's family and I certainly don't want anyone feeling bad on Xmas.
So it looks like we'll just be a bit more private in telling each person. I'm still going to be happy about it though and say what I need to say joyously and of course kindly.
This is such a strange place to be in. Vastly different from telling with my first. With my 2nd we didn't make too much of a big deal but for various reasons. I'm just so excited to be pregnant again (I really wanted this!) that I want to enjoy the whole process. Fortunately there are a lot of people I do get to tell that are going to be, and have been, beyond excited. I'll focus on those people.
LW- I still feel that your situation is a bit diff. b/c it sounds like your sil is negative no matter what. And it sounds like her and your mil take it as something you are doing against them, which of course is not the case. Plus, your dh wants to tell and it's his family, so seems like he knows best if it's a good idea or not. I would just recommend that you don't have any hopes for a specific reaction and stay happy and positive no matter what anyone else says in that moment. Don't let them take the joy away from you.