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Weekly chat Nov 28-Dec 5 - Page 2

post #21 of 77

Oh, I am so done.  Hubby got a new job with a higher salary but has to be out of town initially for weeks of training.  He was gone for two weeks straight, then we had last week at home.  Now he is going to be gone for three weeks (home on the weekends) and another two weeks in January.  I am ready for him to be home but that won't be happening for a while.  We have a 3 month old terror of a puppy who I have to deal with 24/7, take to work with me (he is the office mascot), etc.  He is a biter/chewer so my arms are look like I got caught in a meat grinder.  This is my third sporting breed puppy but definitely the most high energy of the three.  Thank god for crates when you have reached the end of your rope. 

 

I have been feeling little kicks since 13 weeks, mostly when I squished him by leaning forward, but it was only short little bursts.  On Sunday at 18.5 weeks I felt a serious bout of kicks that lasted a long period of time.  I could easily feel them on the outside.  I feel so bad for my husband because he had already left on his flight and didn't get to feel it.  With as much as he will be out of town, who knows when he will get to feel his first kick greensad.gif

post #22 of 77

chiromama, it does seem far off, but in retrospect I'm grateful that I've been able to be off work with DD from age 2.5 to 3.5 (at least that's the plan) rather than the itty bitty baby phase.  Not that you can get those months back, but I feel like our time together now does more to shape her and help her grow.  The other thing that makes me feel better is knowing that because we bed share, new baby will have a lot more time with me than it might seem. 
 

 

post #23 of 77

NicMom, I don't envy you.  Sorry you're having to go it alone for a while, but hopefully it will be worth it in the end.  DH and I are looking at the same sort of situation soon.  his training will be 6 months, out of town, and it may begin before baby comes and extend through the first few months.  those are arrangements I have yet to figure out... I hope things calm down for you soon, I know it must be so trying to feel like you're "on duty" 24/7.  

 

JustKate, you make a good point.  If I get to stay home it wont be for a little while yet, but you're right, there is an added benefit to the later years.  thanks for that!

post #24 of 77

JustKate, your post has made me feel SO much better. I was really anxious about the damage I'd certainly cause my little one if I "abandoned" them the first six weeks like I have to do, and have for months (make that years) felt guilty for the time I've spent on school "neglecting" my mothering duties. It's actually nice to think about the fact that it'll be over and I've got plenty of time to spend with them and influencing them.

post #25 of 77

Nic mom - I feel your pain. DH took a new job in February. It's better pay but he travels so much more. He is happier there and treated better so it is worth it for us. It sure gets hard though.

post #26 of 77

nicmom, that does suck. Hubs spent a year working out of state and he'd be gone 1-3 weeks at a time and rarely was he home for even a week.  I about lost my mind and don't wish it on anyone!

post #27 of 77

Thursday Girl: I honestly think that fleas drive people crazy! Infestations in general get families wound up. I'm sorry that you and your DH aren't on the same page about the house, but it will get better. hug2.gif

 

adoremybabe: I'm glad that the OB listened to you and agreed with your plan for the birth. It's not every day that you have an OB who will be as "hands off" as you need him to be. As for the tape and getting your skin ripped off, there is no sense in that. Why did she even use the tape and not the cohesive medical bandages that just stick to itself and not your skin? I would be ticked about that too.

 

 

All this talk about student loans has me apprehensive. I'm still in my undergrad and I want to get my MFA. DH has never had the ability to go to college and he honestly wouldn't know where to begin. I keep telling him that he needs to figure out what he wants to do. I would honestly support anything as long as he put the effort into it. I know that even with me teaching at a university after my MFA, my salary alone will not be able to provide for us and the kids. He has a while (3 yrs if my prof makes me stay that long) till I graduate so he could really get his gen eds and even one degree under his belt. I just don't know how to get him to figure things out. He is a great husband, father, etc. He just never had parents that pushed him in school but he did graduate with a 4.0 from high school so it's not like he's not academically inclined. He does read and loves problem solving... I dunno. Sorry I just went on and on, but this is really on my mind lately. I plan on having some in depth discussions with him during winter break... 

 

On a happier note, tomorrow at 8 am is when we find out what the little one is! I'm apprehensive and can't believe that we will find out in the morning. I've been working so hard in the studio, literally 8-9 hours a day that these past couple of days flew by. I can't wait to update you ladies tomorrow! Have a good night, everyone!

post #28 of 77

Thursday Girl (Courtney) - my mw is with an OB practice at a birthing center that is with a clinic/hospital. So yeah, probably more OB-like than normal. Mostly I feel like I don't have anything to talk about, and since I have no complications it's just a couple questions with my one-word answers so far. When I go in for regular appointments (she's my primary care person) we don't chit-chat, either.

 

All this talk about life's hurdles has me feeling so good and normal. I have almost no lady friends in real life, so I don't get to hear from anyone having man disagreements or money annoyances or whatever else to confirm I'm not the only one, or to swap stories. Hurray! Well, not for having man disagreements or money annoyances, but for not being the "only one."

 

I regret that I have little-to-no advice on resolving DH issues. Mine is stubborn when we are in the middle of a spat, to the extent that I don't think I could convince him that the sky is blue and oceans contain water, sometimes. I haven't yet learned the fine art. :-)

But for those trying to make gradschool work without the big bills, I guess I can suggest to apply for any/every benefited job you qualify for at the university. Mine, anyway, offers tuition waivers (a.k.a. freeee classes) to benefited employees and I get leave time (as in, paid) to go to class. So I'm nearly done with my MS (if only I could muster the will to work on a thesis instead of just continuing to take seminars or classes) with a grand total dollar investment of about $50 plus the occasional textbook each semester. Assistantships probably aren't enough to support a family on unless your DH has great pay since you'd be working little and schooling full time, but the regular benefited jobs with one or two classes at a time and working full time is hopefully doable! It seems kindof obvious, but some people I talk to haven't thought about the free class benefit, only the assistantship and scholarship/fellowship options. I also agree that it probably wouldn't apply in cases like law school or in programs that require full-time study.

post #29 of 77

cesky, can't wait for your update today!  As for DH, we went through the education stuff pre-kids; it would definitely be harder with a kid, I think.  Mostly it just took time away from us, so with a kid or two it would be like single parenting a lot, I think.  DH finished his undergrad in the evening, at UMUC (so some online, some in-person; one of those designed for adults-finishing-their-degrees type schools).  It was really easy for him (and probably would be for your DH too).  He could also look into CLEPing some basic courses.  Even though its not a really reputable school academically speaking, DH got a 4.0 and was able to get into a top-tier grad program.  So you don't necessarily have to spend the big bucks on undergrad.  Just my 2cents.gif

 

Nicmom, I'm sorry you're left alone.  I would get really frustrated, too.  Do you guys get to skype, at least?

 

autumngrey, sounds like my midwife group.  I just don't have that much to say, usually.  I think it will change as things progress, but for now, its just sort of show up, get weighed, take blood pressure, she asks me questions, measures fundal height, listens for baby's HR, I ask one or two questions, and then we're done.  I dunno.  Maybe I should make a list of questions to make it more interesting.

post #30 of 77

i always have a lack of questions, although now I DO have a question and i need to write it down so i don't forget by the time i have my appt.

 

 

autumn my hubs is the same way in a disagreement! We FINALLY were able to communicate openly and have reached a conclusion we are both happy with. but god I wish it was easier to get there.

 

csesky can't wait to hear!!

 

as for college and stuff, I don't know. Hubs has his prepaid by his parents and finished his aa while we had one kid. he wants to go further but there just isn't a way to find the time unfortunately. I want to go to school when this babe is older and we haven't figured that out either. it feels very overwhelming with almost 4 kids and a limited budget. Pus I feel like since he is already doing his thing owning a business why does he need to go back and get more education it won't change anything about the company and he doesn't want to use it to get a job or anything. It would be NICE to go to college and further your education but it's not practical enough to make sense to me when we are in the position we are in currently. If it could advance his career I would support it more or if we were comfortable and not struggling financially I would support it.  I hope to start school when baby is 9-12 months old for midwifery it would be very intensive and I might have to be out of town 3 days a week. but in the end I would be able to work at a skilled profession using what I had worked for. 

 

 

fleas- even with using poison and fresh advantage on the fleas it only got rid of them for a day!! Hubs is going to see the do it yourself pest control guy. I just don't get why the advanatage didn't work.

 

alright i need to go clean.

post #31 of 77

Thursday Girl- fleas can have a tolerance to advantage. When my dog had bad fleas, I had to switch between Advantage and Frontline. Also, the guy at the feed store told me to bathe the dog then wait three days before doing the treatment. if you do it right after the bath, there isn't enough oil on the skin to carry it. That was the most helpful advice i ever got about using it.

 

 

post #32 of 77

we learned that about the bath about half a year ago. I am going to have hubs get some frontline when he gets paid again, and more poison for the house and stuff for the yard and enough to do all the laundry at one time at the laundry mat. it's almost everything in the house it will be so much money. It will throw off our bills and strangle Christmas.  which will screw up the birthdays (jan, feb, mar) I hate fleas it makes me want to move to colorado.

post #33 of 77

CAN i totally solicite you all to check out this thread and click like on my ideas if you like them?

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1337424/the-annual-mothering-handmade-gifts-ideas-contest

 

thanks,

post #34 of 77
Oooh I feel bad for all of you who are fighting fleas! greensad.gif we (thanfully) don't get them in my part of Canada. When I lived in the Fraser valley (outside of Vancouver) it was very mild weather, I was working as a cashier at a grocery store, and the couch in our staffroom got fleas (we always blamed the stock-boys for bringing them in) wink1.gif
post #35 of 77

Courtney -

 

"god he's really not a terrible guy, just a bit clueless and thinks hard work alone will make everything okay. If he can just work harder things will work out,"

 

I would highly, highly, highly recommend checking out the book "The 5 Love Languages".  My husband and I were having issues and this book helped tremendously.  Basically, we found out we were totally opposites in how we express our love.  I was "saying" I love you and he was not hearing me.  He was "saying" I love you and I had no clue.  We both felt unloved.  Opposites do attract, including how you express yourself.

post #36 of 77

JustKate - DP had to have the doors to his temporal and frontal sinuses opened in addition to having a deviated septum repaired.  Other than feeling sore and headaches, he seems to be healing well.  The surgery your DH had sounds awful, though.  Ouch!

 

Sounds like lots of us have travelling partners.  DP is a software trainer and travels for work almost every week (Sun-Thurs).  We currently don't have any children at home for me to care for while he's gone, but we do have 5 pets.  I work FT at a university while finishing up my MS degree.  We're not exactly sure what we'll do after baby is born.  I may go into a PhD program FT, or I might keep my current job (which I don't love but provides free tuition and offers (not free) on campus daycare).  Student loans are definitely a concern!  I have minimal loans, but DP has an $1200/month bill from undergrad and grad school.  If I don't keep my university job that pays for tuition, we could easily see that go up to $2000/month.  I have no idea how we'd ever pay that!

 

Anyone else having trouble sleeping lately?  I am completely unable to sleep for more than 4 hours at a stretch during the night and can't figure out the problem. 

post #37 of 77

Cute dollhouse Thursday Girl! I want to see more pics when it's done :)

post #38 of 77

southernfried - I am suddenly tossing and turning all night, never really getting into a deep sleep. I'm fairly certain that suddenly my normal sleep positions are uncomfortable due to the uterus position. The only comfortable way for me to seel is wrapped into my husband, as he acts as a prop for my arm and knee while on my side. When I fall asleep, I move, wake up, and start over. I think I need to experiment with various extra pillows to be my support.

 

Courtney - I LOVE the dollhouse idea!!!

post #39 of 77

Even pre-preg I would wake up occasionally in the night and not be able to get back to sleep for hours.  It has hit again the past few nights.  Usually, it is caused by stress so I need to figure out what it is and fix it.

post #40 of 77
Thread Starter 

ah four hours would be awesome winky.gif  I miss those days. The last time I slept that long in a stretch of time was before 20 weeks pg with DS. Since then, I have either been shifting around bc pg, insomnia issues bc pg, or nursing a baby that gets up often.  DS has just recently moved into 3 hr stretches which is awesome with one five hr stretch before I come to bed.  The past three nights he has been sick with a fever so he has been tossing and turning and crying. It surprises me just how quickly I got used to more than 2 hrs at a time!  My best bet for mamas who don't have LOs in the bed is that it is the whole growth spurt body changing thing. I am starting to need a pillow between my knees.  And I say all this not to be all woe is me, no matter how much sleep you are used to, when you get less, it feels crappy, so hugs for the mamas not sleeping well.  Hope it gets easier soon!

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