I am livid.
My nephew (DH's sister's 13 yr old son) sent me a message on facebook telling me that I should name our daughter Ellie, not Eleanor because she will be picked on. This coming from the little brat who gets ANYTHING he wants, I mean literally. I have driven down to see my SIL (two and a half hour drive) 12 times since we have been married (April 2010). She has not once come up here to see us because she never has any money, blah, blah. Well I am a student and DH works, but we make it (barely). Yet she buys every new XBOX 360 game that comes out on the day it comes out, 4 North Face hoodies ($60 a pop), and he "lost" $300 on a trip to Florida with his friends family this summer. He is also very ill mannered and disrespectful. SIL has MS that is progressively getting worse and he can't even pitch in to help with the laundry.
This kid also yelled at my DSS for wanting to come in his room and watch him and his friend play their game and play with them. That was the deciding moment that I thought, nope. Not coming back. And we haven't. SIL also keeps pushing that DSS should stay with her when my dad (DSS's only grandfather that loves him) has surgery December 20th to remove his prostate. She thinks it will make it easier on me! How? By having to call and check on him all the time? Last time DSS and I went to see her (DH wasn't invited because his SIL thought he went through her stuff when we stayed the last time, for what? No clue but he for sure didn't take anything I trust him and unpacked his bag!) DSS woke in the middle of the night wanting DH and it took me an HOUR to soothe him back to sleep.
As you can tell, there is a lot of frustration built up but I can't take this. I am sick of being the only one to make an effort with his family. DH has told me even before we got married that this would happen. SIL wants to control everything and would love to HAVE DSS. She thrives if I mention an argument. Because in her eyes, DH couldn't handle DSS if he and I split (not gonna happen), and DSS wouldn't go to his birth mother because she couldn't support him, so she thinks that she would get him. I just can't take her negative attitude any time I mention that DH said something I thought was a bit snippy.
I know that she is toxic and DH has told me so... it is just taking me so long to accept it. DH has no other family than her, his mother passed away eight years ago and the family is so spread out that SIL is the only one we have contact with.
And now I am considering changing the name from Eleanor Rose to Lenora Rose. This: is how I feel most of the time.
If you made it through that rant, thanks. I just don't know what/ how to handle the situation. My best friend is coming in (same town that SIL lives in) December 16th and she has clothes for the baby. I would also love to see her kids, my goddaughters but I don't want to go down and see SIL. I can't not go see my friend, I was her surrogate mother when she was pregnant with her first ( her mom chose to divorce her dad and leave the state when my friend was 4 months pregnant at 17), assisted in her birth and we are as close as sisters. I'm the matron of honor in her wedding in May for goodness sakes! But I am in a pickle, ladies.
On a happier note, I bought an owl binkie for the baby today that I just couldn't resist. See the link below for cuteness.
And she is kicking quite a bit tonight. Who knew 13 ounces could pack that much of a punch! But I am off to bed to cuddle up with DH and 'A Dance of Dragons." Any ideas as to how I should handle this are greatly appreciated.