Yeah, I hear you on being to tired/stressed to put the energy into a major change. Believe me, I take the "easier in the moment" road a LOT. Esp when it comes to a clingy tantrumy kid. DS1 is a MAJOR mama's boy, and it's only because DH is so focused on our goals and so good with him that he's been able to take over bed time. If DH weren't so determined, I know I would have just wound up in the big bed with BOTH kids waking me up constantly and DH would have been sleeping on the couch full time, lol! It is so freaking hard to find that balance of "whatever works" with "no, THIS is how it's going to be and we've got to work to get there". I think the big detail in your situation is that it's not working. You're not getting enough rest to do what you need to do during the day. My DS1 was such a shitty sleeper, and I was so tired I couldn't even think straight to look at the situation objectively and try to come up with a solution. It sounds like that's where you are.
Your DH is going to have to get on board, but I would suggest you come up with a bedtime routine (jammies, cartoon, 2 books, lights out, back rub/snuggle, sleep), explain what's going to happen to Nora, and then DH needs to stay with her in her room (with no phone!) with her while she tantrums. DH can lay down and calmly reassure her that this is "tuck in" time, and that he'll rub her back when she's ready to calm down and lay down. This is what we did with DS1 and it worked pretty quickly. He was never in his room alone crying. And now? He goes to bed and we have adult time and DH does any night time parenting he may need, and I do Will's night time parenting. It can work!
I know it sounds so easy coming from someone else! Hang in there!
ps, I don't mean to sound like I'm getting on your case! Sleep struggles have been a BIG part of my motherhood experience so I guess it's just a topic close to my heart :) And, that pic is too cute!