Anyone considering getting their daughter circumcised?

[yolundhaq]

This is really embarassing, but I cannot orgasm. I've tried everything and then some, my poor dh has tried everything and then some. I've spoken with my mother and aunts, it is an uncomfortable topic, but they all have the same problem, though I wonder if their age and environments they group up in gave them less opportunity to try and solve the problem.

I recently took a human sexuality class and the teacher said that sexual dysfunction in women is quite common with a majority of women reporting no orgasm and even outright dislike and pain of sex. This made me feel less broken, but now I am having a daughter and I fear she will have the same problem with dislike of sex and no orgasm.

I read an article "Pleasure and Orgasm in Women with Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting" from The Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2007 and it stated that girls circumcised before puberty reported orgasm over 91%. The nerve ending getting rewired to more accessible places. I would like my dd to enjoy sex and make her and her husband happy and 91% seems like much better odds than normal and much, much better than my family.

People say female circumcision is bad, the west has a very bad very of female sexuality, half naked women to sell everything and then call them sluts is confusing! I feel I owe her the best chance I can give her and this seems the best choice. Anyone else doing the same thing or different way to teach daughter to orgasm?

[Adaline'sMama]

No. It would be just as bad as circumcising a boy.

[yolundhaq]

I did not ask about boys. I asked how I could make her life and enjoyment of sex be better. You just say "no" is not helpful.

[tracymom1]

MDC takes a pretty strong stance renouncing routine male circumcision and I am sure that thought carries over to female circumcision as well. This is probably not the place for such a question.

[yolundhaq]

I am not asking about "routine" circumcision, but about circumcision or alternatives for a specific problem.

Male and female circumcision are completely different and routine vs surgery-with-a-purpose are completely different.

Basically the advice here is "Too bad for your dd, do nothing?"

[Adaline'sMama]

Honestly, I dont believe that it is your decision. When your daughter is an adult, you can tell her about that option, and if she wants to proceed with a body modification at that point to enhance her sexual stimulation, then that will be her choice. I feel that both male and female mutilation are just that- mutilation. I dont think parents should have the right to cut up their babies, unless there is a serious medical condition involved. You wanting her to experience an orgasm is not a medical problem. Often times women from certain families cannot experience orgasm due to the way they were raised, or for other environmental reasons, one of which being the need to "please their husband" that they are raised is the purpose of sex instead of sharing a wonderful moment with him.

By your same argument, I may just sign my daughter up for a boob job as soon as she turns 16 because studies show that more men pay attention to girls with large breasts and she will go further in life than a flat chested woman. Im sure her husband will be pleased to have a large breasted wife, and plus, she will feel more sexy in lingerie. It just doesnt make sense, does it? No, because that would be cosmetic surgery. Personally, I see no difference between the two.

Also, I have no idea why this is posted in the UC forum.

[yolundhaq]

The problem is, the earlier the procedure is done, the better the nerve reassignment will be. As an adult is too late. Having such a conversation with a an 8 year old is just too much of a choice for them to be saddled with. She won't understand.

Being prettier is not the same as having access to a basic component of sexuality.

So again, your answer is that I should do nothing? Not doing everything possible to give my children the best life I can imagine is bad parenting in my eyes. All I have seen here is the blind application of a philosophy, disappointing.

[4midablemama]

4 posts. Troll, anyone?

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by yolundhaq 

I am not asking about "routine" circumcision, but about circumcision or alternatives for a specific problem.

Male and female circumcision are completely different and routine vs surgery-with-a-purpose are completely different.

There is no purpose, because you have no idea if your daughter will have the problem you have or not. You're contemplating surgically altering your dd's genitals, because you think she might have the same problem you have. There's no reason to believe that, unless you have a medical diagnosis that explains your anorgasmic state, and your dd has the same diagnosis.

*deep breath*

I didn't orgasm, either by myself or with a partner, until my late 30s (I'm 43). I was already a mother of three. I'd pretty much given up on it a long time ago, although dh hadn't. (Admittedly, I didn't find sex painful, and it certainly wasn't unenjoyable!) The fact that I couldn't make it had horrible emotional ramifications for me, and it's been one of the defining aspects of my adulthood.

But, you know what? I'm awfully glad nobody cut off my clitoris in an attempt to "help" me. I'm even more glad they didn't do that to my sister (same background, so I was likely to have this problem, so was she - right?)...because she's been able to orgasm easily for well over 20 years. Same parents. Very similar upbringing (allowing for the slight variations from one child to another - she was born to a slightly bigger family (by one) than I was born to). Completely different sexual response.

Do you realize that you could surgically alter your dd's genitals, and thereby create the exact problem you're claiming you want to fix, even though it doesn't exist at this time?

Basically the advice here is "Too bad for your dd, do nothing?"

No. Basically, the advice is "no reason to expect a problem, and not your decision, anyway".

I have no idea what "more accessible" spots the nerves would reassign to. The g-spot and tip of the clitoris aren't that hard to touch/reach!

I think you might want to take a different class on human sexuality, too. A "majority" of women report no orgasm? Seriously? I've talked to a fair number of women about this over the years, and I've run into very few others with the problem. Women experience different levels of difficultly in getting there, but the number who have never made it isn't that high, and I don't believe for a minute that it's a majority (fwiw, Wikipedia cites 10% of women, in the US). Dislike and pain are separate issues, and sometimes have specific medical causes.

Personally, I'm sure this post is a joke, but just on the very slight chance that some woman somewhere is actually considering cutting up her daughter's clitoris in order to help her have orgasms (OMG - I just canNOT wrap my brain around this), I thought I'd post. I don't really publicize my issues in this area much, because it's...kind of humiliating, really...

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by yolundhaq 

Being prettier is not the same as having access to a basic component of sexuality.

Intact genitals are a basic component of sexuality...maybe the basic component of sexuality.

So again, your answer is that I should do nothing? Not doing everything possible to give my children the best life I can imagine is bad parenting in my eyes. All I have seen here is the blind application of a philosophy, disappointing.

Cutting up healthy genitals, to create healthy sexuality, is amazingly illogical thinking. It's not a "blind application of philosophy". It's that you make no sense. Your dd doesn't have a problem. The majority of women with intact genitals don't have a problem.

[CatsCradle]

OP, go back and read the article.  I'm not a medical professional but reading comprehension is sometimes key.  What the article actually concludes is that females in this study which have been mutilated "can also have the possibility of reaching an orgasm" and that women who have been subjected to such are entitled to appropriate therapies because this subset of the population is often overlooked.  What it does not conclude is that mutilation itself results in guaranteed orgasm or better orgasm.  The abstract itself starts out by stating that female genital mutilation violates human rights.  

See abstract here:  http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2007.00620.x/abstract

I too ask:  why is this post in Unassisted Childbirth?  This is the second time I've been in this forum today for issues unrelated to unassisted childbirth.

[Imakcerka]

The problem with circumcising your daughter because you can't orgasm... is because the problem is yours not hers.  And it may not be a physical problem.  You're making assumptions that it is. 

[LindyGirl]

Originally Posted by 4midablemama 
 

4 posts. Troll, anyone?

My first thought.

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by 4midablemama 

4 posts. Troll, anyone?

I just wish this new breed of trolls were a little better at deceiving people. What happened to the good old fashioned kind that made up elaborate stories after months of earning trust from the community only to turn into attention-seeking nutters?  I miss them.

[philomom]

Originally Posted by Mulvah 



I just wish this new breed of trolls were a little better at deceiving people. What happened to the good old fashioned kind that made up elaborate stories after months of earning trust from the community only to turn into attention-seeking nutters?  I miss them.

[4midablemama]

Originally Posted by Mulvah 

I just wish this new breed of trolls were a little better at deceiving people. What happened to the good old fashioned kind that made up elaborate stories after months of earning trust from the community only to turn into attention-seeking nutters?  I miss them.

This is beginning to feel like a bad monster movie to me. It seems like everywhere I've been in MDC today, there's been a new one-did we feed them after midnight or something?

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by CatsCradle 

I too ask:  why is this post in Unassisted Childbirth?  This is the second time I've been in this forum today for issues unrelated to unassisted childbirth.

I didn't even notice which forum. I guess that removes the 0.0000001% possibility that it wasn't a troll. *sigh*

[cameragirl]

Originally Posted by Mulvah 



I just wish this new breed of trolls were a little better at deceiving people. What happened to the good old fashioned kind that made up elaborate stories after months of earning trust from the community only to turn into attention-seeking nutters?  I miss them.

[philomom]

Originally Posted by 4midablemama 



This is beginning to feel like a bad monster movie to me. It seems like everywhere I've been in MDC today, there's been a new one-did we feed them after midnight or something?

Okay, that was funny.

[Buzzer Beater]

I think this troll has another one going about male circumcision... under a different user name.