Bedwetting help

[laurawith1]

I just joined this site and just replied to another post so I thought I would make my own. My daughter just turned 7 and still wets the bed every night without fail, sometimes more then once a night.  I have tried everything I can think of but nothing has worked.  Her doctor keeps telling me that I shouldnt worry and that she will outgrow it on her own but I cant keep up with all the extra laundry morning after morning.  She also has some issues during the day, especially in the car.  Its a good 45 minutes to the grocery store and even longer if we go anywhere else (we live out in the country) and she usually falls asleep in the car and end up with wet clothes and seat but, when she is awake, she never tells me she has to go until its too late  Thats all after I try to get her to go potty before we go anywhere but she always denies she has to go and flat out refuses to even try!  For awhile I was buying pull ups but they basically stopped working and I had to wash anyways.  When I am desparate, I buy them when I am at the store but they are so damn expensive and dont even work.  I dont know if its her size/wieght or what but they just dont work.  On a good day, she is about 42 lbs.  I even tried those ones for older kids but they didnt work either and they seemed way too bulky and would sag because they were a bit too big on her.  It would be nice not to have to wash sheets/clothes everyday and was hoping someone here could offer any suggestions or at least tell me I am not the only one going through this.  Thank you everyone in advance.

Laura

[Imakcerka]

We went through this til 6 with DD1.  She seriously would pee her pants even awake.  She hated to stop what she was doing to use the bathroom.  She did grow out of it.  DH actually told her we just couldn't keep up with the laundry and the pull ups.  And she stopped.  She has a bit of anxiety about it and pees about 5 times before going to bed just to make sure but it got better and she's doing fine.  No more accidents.  YAY! 

You need to talk to her about it and help her understand that you guys have to work together.

[laurawith1]

I get so frustrated when I find her in a wet bed before she is even asleep all because she was too lazy to get up to go.  I think I have the most lazy and stubborn 7 year old.  I can understand if she were sleeping but its unacceptable when she is totally awake.

Laura

[jaam]

What if you had her get up and help you pull all the soiled bedding off to put in the laundry, then clean and re-make her bed? Once she had to to that with you a couple times she might realize that it's a lot less work to actually get up and go to the bathroom. 

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by laurawith1 

I get so frustrated when I find her in a wet bed before she is even asleep all because she was too lazy to get up to go.  I think I have the most lazy and stubborn 7 year old.  I can understand if she were sleeping but its unacceptable when she is totally awake.

Laura

She's not....We had a male bedwetter here until he was 10.  He didn't wet during the day but both of my sons had "dingleberries" up until 3rd grade.  If you can get moms to talk about it, then you'll hear lots of stories of this happening.

I just bought the Good Nights.  They don't control their urine while sleeping.  Cutting liquids won't stop the wetting. 

You seem angry and I fully understand that.  But don't let this make you mad at your daughter.  I doubt she's doing it on purpose.

[Imakcerka]

When she's awake, she might be.  DD1 did it all the time while she was awake and playing.  It's her personality not to miss anything.  I would stop her play or whatever she was doing and have her bathe and change.  She finally learned she missed out on more with the bath and the changing than going to the bathroom.  The night time thing is a hard one since some kids really need to grow out of it and their bladders just can't seem to hold as much. 

[Aletheia]

Have you ruled out any food sensitivities?  Was she harder to potty train, or did she have chronic bad diaper rash?

My firstborn has multiple food allergies, and it has really effected his urinary continence, esp. in sleep.  While I don't know that any scientific studies have been done on this topic, anecdotally you can find a lot of moms who have experienced the same thing with their food allergic/sensitive kids.  

My firstborn is 5, and pees 2 times every night (we try to make sure the first one is when I take him to the toilet at my own bedtime.)  By contrast, my 3 year old is mostly dry through the night, and has been pretty reliably, since around 18 months.  We know most of DS1s allergies, but I suspect he has less pronounced sensitivities (to high-acid foods, for instance) that just make it harder for him to control his bladder.

If nothing else, remember that there can be medical/physiological reasons behind her wetting that you may never know, and so it makes sense to give her the benefit of the doubt.

I use these bedpads for twin sized beds with tuck in wings (~$17) from the bedwettingstore.com--- two at a time, one on top of the other.  In the event of a "peepee uh-oh," we strip one off and there is a dry one underneath.  They wash incredibly well, and make for much less laundry than an entire set of sheets.  (I also make sure he sleeps in absorbant sweatpants, and rarely if ever end up needing to wash the top vellux blanket (we forego a topsheet, as it was just too often getting tangled under him and getting wet.)

But I do hear you.  There are some mornings when I just can't take it anymore.  And my kid is only 5.  

[umsami]

It's not something she's doing consciously.  Limiting fluids usually has zero effect.  Buy Goodnights or the Pampers version on Amazon through Amazon Mom.  Cheapest way to get them. You can also buy big waterproof soak pads to use that you can wash.  We had 2-3 that could rotate.  Deal was...DS has to put in the laundry, put pull-up in the garbage, and let me know if sheets/jammies need washing.

She probably has a small functional bladder if she has issues on long car rides.  It's nothing she can fix or that you can fix.  I highly recommend the book, "Waking Up Dry" for both of you.  You can try a wetness alarm, but know that it can take months to work.  Best thing really is just time for her bladder to grow a bit.

Does she have any constipation issues? You might not even know if she does--but it can exacerbate eneuresis.  

[MamaMamaMama!]

This is going to sound crazy but taking a spoonful of sesame seeds before she goes to bed might help. I got this suggestion from an herbalist for my son when he was 6 1/2 and still wetting the bed and within 2 weeks he was dry every night. I have no idea why it works but it can't hurt :)

[Aletheia]

Very interesting about the sesame seeds!  I found a number of sites that talked about sesame seeds as a possible (partial) treatment for enuresis.  Most to the point is the sesame seed's nutritional profile which indicates it is high in all of the minerals and elements that kids with nightwetting problems have been shown to lack! Wow.  I think I'll see if I can get him to eat a tablespoon full tonight.  Thanks, Mama!Mama!Mama!

[mazajo]

I haven't been in these forums for ages, but came today specifically looking for bedwetting info and advice, and here it is! Good to see that I'm not alone! I have a 6yo DS that wets the bed 9 out of 10 nights. We had stopped pullups about six months ago because he said they were so uncomfortable, but just a few days ago I'd reached my limits with laundry- plus he's been wanting to sleep with me a lot again for the first time in a couple years, and that's just so unpleasant to wake up to. So I told him sorry, but we've got to go back to the pullups! I hoped that if he hated them enough, he'd be more motivated, but if he really can't help it it doesn't seem like there's anything to do but wait. He's super picky about food, I don't think he'd agree to the sesame seeds, but interesting idea!

Sorry I don't have any good advice, but good luck to the rest of you!

[mamareba]

I also came on today to look for help for my 7 and a half year old stepdaughter who still has a wet pull up almost every night.  We only have her on the weekends (and holidays sometimes for a whole week) but there is no indication things are any different at her moms house.  She is also about 42 lbs.  We feel like she just has a small bladder and she will grow out of it, but in the meantime, what happens when she grows out of pull ups.  She is now taking off her own pull up in the morning and wiping herself, without us helping.  It cuts down on the focus on it.  Luckily, unlike pp, she doesn't have the issue on long car rides (although we worry about it), but it is almost every night.  I had read on other forums about fennel tea and nettle tea both supposedly helping. Has anyone had any luck with either of those? the sesame seeds is certainly worth trying! Even though the pullups are working for now, I know she is embarassed and hates that she wets.  I really want to help her! 

[MamaMamaMama!]

I'd love to hear if anyone had success with the sesame seeds, or if it was just that my son had good luck. My daughter still wets at 5 1/2 and when we tried the sesame seeds at 4 1/2 it did not work, so I really need to try it again with her and see if time has made a difference.

Mazajo, one thing that I considered with my son is that you can make little cookies out of tahini (sesame seed butter) and honey mixed together; it tastes quite good and probably would be even easier to digest. But my son was willing to just take about a teaspoonful and gulp it down with water; you really don't have to taste it if you don't chew it. If he is motivated it might not be so hard as you expect.

[Aletheia]

Nettle tea is *also* high in calcium.  Interesting.

So I gave both boys a Tablespoon of sesame seeds last night.  DS1, my tiny 5 year old, peed two HUGE pees last night, and DS2, who is mostly dry, ate 2 Tablespoons of sesame seeds (he had really weird tastes-- he loved them!) and peed 1x... when he usually doesn't pee at all.

I might keep trying.  The tahini is a good idea.  I'm a little hesitant, though, because I used to be allergic to sesame products.  I'll just not use too much too fast.

[JudiAU]

I'd take her a urologist to rule out physical reasons or to evaulate treatment.

My niece for instance is fairly insensitive to bladder fullness. She and her mother worked out a schedule for the toilet that she always must use, in addition to using it when she feels the need. No more accidents.

I have a second cousin who at 13 still wet the bed. A dairy-free vegan diet was finally what worked to her (dairy intolerance is often related to bed wetting.)

One of my aunts struggled with this issue as well and it was really just a matter of not wanting to stop play. Again, a schedule resolved a lot of things and after a year or so it wasn't an issue anymore.

[MamaMamaMama!]

Aletheia, that is odd that it made them pee more...I'd love to know why that would happen. When we gave the sesame seeds to my son we didn't give him a whole tablespoon; it was more like a teaspoon or a little more. Perhaps try less?

[Erin+babyAndrew]

My 7.5 yo son was exactly how your described your child. He would pee even before falling asleep because he was too wrapped up in the story being read to him. he was also peeing at least 1x each night, often 2x. So, we bought a night time alarm and it worked! We got ours from http://www.pottypager.com/ and it was great. It was exactly what he needed. The process took about 1 month and he's been dry at night ever since. We kept using the alarm for a good month after we thought he was cured and he has not had any relapse.

[laurawith1]

Thanks everyone.  I havent been on in awhile because of computer problems.  I have taken her to a urologist and determined after performing multiple tests that there is nothing they can see as to why she is doing this.  I can totally understand if she were asleep every time but when she is wide awake and knows she has to go and chooses not to get up out of bed to go, that what I am having a hard time dealing with.  To me, thats total laziness.  When I was buying pull ups, they wouldnt even work and leaked all the time so what was the point to keep buying them if they dont even work.  I was still washing sheets weather she wore one or not.  The ones for bigger kids leaked as well because they were too big for her (even the smallest size they make).  She is average height, just SUPER skinny at 38-40 lbs on a good day.  Sooo....how can I get her to stop or at least help her to stop if she doesnt care she does it in the first place.  I dont know how much longer I can keep up having to wash her sheets every single morning!!  Thanks again everyone for all your help and I am looking forward to see if anyone else has any more suggestions.

Laura

[fiddlefern]

I would definitely have her strip her bed and put the sheets in the washer, as well as have her clean herself up.

Ds2 (age 5) wets the bed every night.  Since turning 5, he is suddenly VERY motivated to get out of the night-time diapers.  (also a skinny kid- still fits in the dipes rather than pull-ups).  Even with wanting to be dry, even with agreeing to be woken up twice in the night, even with him hopping up a bunch of times to go before he falls asleep, he is STILL most often wetting the bed after 4 nights of working on this.  I think it's going to take time, practice, and a bigger bladder.  But I'm proud of him for trying.

So, having her clean up the bed may help her motivation.  But even if it doesn't, at least it might cut down on your irritation, since you won't have as much work to deal with. :)