1 y.o. DD does not sleep. PLEASE help me, I'm exhausted.

[batlvr]

My DD does not sleep.  I rock her to almost sleep at 9pm, then lay her in a pack n play beside my bed.  She will then wake up all night.  It may be as little as 30 minutes after I lay her down.  she might wake up 6 times in the night.  Sometimes she appears to only want a cuddle, sometimes a dry diaper, sometimes a feeding.  I am losing my mind.  On a good night I might be able to piece together 5-6 hours of sleep,  a few hours at a time.  I'm cranky and lethargic all day.  I have fallen asleep in my car (parked at lunch time) and almost fallen asleep while driving several times already.  i feel like I can barely function. I am near tears many times during the day.  I am just exhausted and I can only imagine how she must be feeling. she takes almost no naps during the day, or maybe a 20-30 minute "cat nap" if i am lucky.  and that is VERY rare.  Doing anything is a huge ordeal, with arranging someone to watch her while I take a shower and forget about any housework getting done.  DH is frustrated with me although he seems to understand that I just cannot get DD to sleep more or better.  I have read that babies her age should be sleeping 11-13 hours a day but she is no where near that, I would estimate maybe half that amount of sleep if I am lucky.  What can I do?  or do I just need to accept the fact that my DD isn't a "good" sleeper and just adjust my mindset?

[Blanca78]

I'm sorry, no help here as my DD is only 7 months old, but I just wanted to send you a huge hug. I can see the desperation in your post. Is there any way your DH can take over the nighttime parenting for a couple nights so you can get some rest, even if it means you go to a hotel or something? I've seen some people on this board say that their babies will sleep better when the fathers take over for a night or two.

Have you posted on the "Family Bed and Night Time Parenting" forum here? You might find some more answers there.

[~Adorkable~]

one thought and I'm sure this is not the whole deal, but have you considered that the pack and play is too hard and thin of a mattress? i had my twins in a arms reach co sleeper, so very similar and at about 6 months they started fussing a lot more and when i got them a slightly softer surface they calmed back down. i guess they were heavy enough to bottom out that thin pad and were bummed out.

as for naps, is this a new thing or has she never napped? if it is new, can you think of what changed with her or your day?

hugs, im dealing with lack of sleep as well, it is so hard to feel human on no rest

[LM96]

This may sound crazy, but have you tried getting her to sleep earlier?  I was putting my oldest son to bed around 6:30 (and some times earlier) at that age.

Also, I agree with a previous poster that maybe the pack and play isn't comfortable for her any more.  Is there somewhere else she can sleep?

[GoMamaMel]

I'm so sorry mama. I'm happy you posted this because i'm going through a similar thing right now with DS... I'm exhausted. tonight was especially hard and i ended up in tears long before he even fell asleep.

DS does the same thing with the catnaps and very quickly after he is put down in the pack and play. its so tiring. Once he is in bed with me he sleeps much better... have you tried bed sharing? just a thought.. then she could cuddle and nurse as she pleases and you might not have to fully wake up. 

i also agree with seeing if DH could take over a night or two. 

Let me know what kind of solutions you find!

[batlvr]

I am going to try a crib beside my bed.  I hadn't thought about it, but the pack and play mattress is really thin, just a pad on cardboard.  Maybe it just isn't comfortable.  DD is a big girl and tall too.  We tried a co-sleeper at birth and she didn't like, cried as soon as I lay her down.  I have brought her into bed with me in desperation but she was so unsettled, crying and pushing against me and rolling around.  She is a restless sleeper, she cries and laughs and babbles in her sleep, she rolls around and rustles around even though it appears she is sleeping.  So...I don't know.  I'm going to see if I can borrow a crib from SIL and try it out.  I want DD in our room so this may be the best solution to keeping her there.

I have tried to get her to sleep earlier but it doesn't seem to work out.  She might fall asleep as early as 7pm but she is wide awake within an hours time.  she has never been a good napper.  She just sleeps in spurts and then she's raring to go again.  The lack of sleep doesn't seem to bother her but boy is it painful for us!  :)

Thank you mamas for your kind words and suggestions.  It helps tremendously to just know I am not alone.

DH does try, he will get up with her, he will rock her to sleep at 9pm so i can go on to bed.  he does make an effort to be fair.  he's sleep deprived too I guess and frustrated.  He just seems to want me to "fix" DD's sleep problem and I haven't been able to figure out how to do that so far.

[batlvr]

Just a quick update.  We got a crib and put that on my side of the bed.  So far DD has been sleeping about 8.5 hours a night!  Oh, it is glorious to get about 8 consecutive hours of sleep each night.  it took a couple of nights for her to get situated but now she does seem to sleep better.  Also, I would highly recommend the Sleep Sheep.  It's a really cute Sheep with a white noise machine in it.  DD LOVES "sheepy" and she has figured out how to push the buttons to get the sound she likes (rain is her fave).

Thank you to those who suggested the pack and play might not be comfortable anymore.  That does indeed seem to have been the biggest issue.

She now naps twice a day but not more than 1 hour each time. 

[wehrli]

yay!

[Blanca78]

Oh, I'm overjoyed that the problem seems to have been resolved! And two one-hour naps at that age is totally typical from what I've read. Sounds like she's in great shape!