Queer Conceptions - December 2011

[DesertSunsets]

WELCOME TO DECEMBER!  Good luck to everyone!  

Waiting to O 

* Hoping2bemoms

* outdoorsy

* Cananny

* AnnaNotherThing

* Planet

* lisedea 

Waiting to Know... Braving the 2WW 

* Nosreves

* TineyDreams

* esenbee2

* Carmen  

Working on IVF 

* Alphahen & DP

* FiveGrandBaby


Waiting for AF 



MIA/Taking a Break/Figuring Things Out/Waiting to be Ready 
* NAMW
* RainbowValleyMama
* MaxK
* Happycalm
* IrishBabies
* AmandaMom
* Glados
* Serepartera (February 2011)
* Miss Scarlett
* Milletpuff
* Chiquitayy
* Lyndzies
* MidwifeStephPDX
* Gellybeangrl 
* Dandylez
* Want2bePapa
* MeghanC
* Rs11
* Yeledov
* Handerson
* BunnyLullabye
* cnmk14
* Maybeababy
* 2moms3kids
* Southern Fried Karma 
* OwlandTurtle
* jennytuck
* JennP85
* Habitat
* EmandJoHeil
* MrsPP 

* SkyandTru

* invitnconceptn

* Allison Graham

* Hopeful22 



2011 Graduates! 

December * DesertSunsets 
November * Aljm41910   * Kgulbransen  
October * Vienna79  * KSDoulaMama  *Pleasantlyfurious  *SwtRainbowBrite  * Go_Vegan 
September * Smilingsara  * Ad Astra  * Mumquest 
August *Prettyisa 
July * Onemommyonemama 
June * CrystalPerez * Qmama42 
May * KellySF 
April * want2bmumx2  * Indigoscot & DP 
March * Graceie  * Seraf * 2ezforyou  *Mommy55 
February * Escher 10/24/11 *SharriKitColorado* DAWNMP1
January * Starling&diesel 10/2/11

2010 Graduates!

November * Mizyellow 7/25/11 * AmyPDX 7/30/11 * AmandaHope 8/3/11 * Cejae 7/4/11
September * Solejean 5/19/11 * Painefaria 6/5/11
August * Bttrflygypsy 4/10/11 * 2happymamas 4/15/11 * LibraryLady 4/15/11
July * Beastie 3/21/11 * Gumshoegirl007 4/2/11 * Wehrli 4/1/11
June * Coco & DP 2/14/11
May * Burg 2/4/11 * Korey 2/1/11
April * Calimeow * Mtnlisa * Kimlyn32
February * Mistral * Quasar & smartycat * Monarchgrrl * Erthe_mama & DP
January * Lyndzies * FtMpapa

2009 Graduates!

December* Osker * Megan sacha * Mkpgoddess
October * JJNoho * Mommies 2 Be * Megincl & Ktcl
September * Elismum1908 * KSDoulaMama * Pleasantlyfurious
August * Chicagoml * Wishin'&hopin'
July * Hbog
May * Indigoscot's dp
April * Kelmendi * KJM * Whoabethy * Carmen
March * Scalpel * Katwomyn4
February * Deny_zoo29
January * Jodybird511

Edited by DesertSunsets - 12/29/11 at 9:33pm

[DesertSunsets]

Well, December is upon us.  Where did this year go?!  

If you need to be moved, please update in BOLD so I see it and move you!  Thanks!

I thought I'd continue the celebration of Krista's BFP in December, so here is your veggie parade my friend!  

Let's keep it up with the positives, here, folks!  Looking for a lucrative month here as Threadkeeper.  

(Afu, swim team got ordered today.  Didn't think I'd be doing that again for a long time!  I'm feeling thankful.) 

Edited to add: Saw this article today, thought it was pretty good.  Anyone else have thoughts on it?  How do you plan to raise your donor-conceived children with regards to how they came into being?  

http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles/2315/explaining-donor-conception

[Cananny]

Desert. I wanted to add that I am so happy to see you and DP are back in the game! Here is hoping for thread keepers luck... Can you move me to waiting for AF/Waiting to O?

I have an appt on Friday with my RE .. she wants to do an U/S and then if AF has not come.. start the provera to make that evil AF come.. We are going to be in AZ( Hi desert) for a little over a week for christmas break and I am hoping to have all this fall before we leave.. or after we come back! 

AFM.. tired and emotionally drained.. DP and I seem to fight all the time regarding TTC.. I want a baby.. she wants a baby and has been on the fence weather she will try again if for some reason I am not able to get pregnant.... Today she has said she will not.. she has no desire to carry and 8 months was enough for her.. I had hoped her seeing my go through this process ( even though I have PCOS) and my chances are lower... she said if I cant have a baby.. we have to adopt... or have a surrogate.... 

So we go round and round ... and we are back to this...:( I am trying to stay positive and happy about me being able at least try to conceive ... hard to do tonight :/

[rs11]

Congratulations, Krista!!!!!!!!

(Can someone tell me how to do the veggie parade thing? Thanks!)

We still don't know if we're going to be able to try this month. If we do, it will be over the New Year's weekend most likely. Talk about trying for your resolution!

[lisedea]

Thanks Desert!!

Still no AF (it was due Mon/Tues) and another negative on an internet cheapie. Boobs are still big (amazingly for me!) and cramps are gone. Uggg...I just want to know so I can order Mr. December before all the good vials (they give highest count out first) are gone! Geez, what has my life become? Ha.

[seraf]

Desert, Wishing you threadkeeper's luck.  My kids are well aware of the basics of their conception.  I have talked about it with and in front of them since birth because I always wanted them to have the language to be able to explain themselves.. The big kids also saw sperm tanks coming to the house, so they are pretty clear.  I used to joke that they didnt go to a lot of birthday parties for fear o explaining conception to the other kids.

Ca, I'm sorry to hear that y'all don't agree about the process.  Its so hard  when you argue over basic family make up.

Rs, at the top of the reply box is a smiley face.  Click on that and a window will pop up with more smileys than you will ever need.  The veggies are almost at the bottom.  I put out a few and then copy and paste to get the look I want.

Lise, how was your temp this morning?

[justrose13]

desert, I was just looking at the roll call and wanted to point out that mami2mami is listed under MIA/waiting to be ready/etc... their little girl was just born a week or so ago! so I guess they should be listed under "graduates"... for which month? um, February or March 2011.
ps. super glad to hear you are continuing to TTC!

Lise, FX!

[seraf]

KRISTA, I know you're feeling cautious, but new hope because the surgery should have helped, right?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

[nosreves]

thanks for the new thread Desert!  i hope you have threadkeeper's luck!  could you move me to taking a break?  

our reliable donor is out of the country this month, so unless flaky donor suddenly unflakes, we won't be insemming this month.  in really good news, i called the fertility clinic in belgium today and asked about their intake appointments (psych exam and gyn appt), and they had an opening for tomorrow.  DP and i happen to both have the day off, so it looks like we're finally going to see some professionals!!  we've got six hours of driving and two hours of doctors tomorrow, and hopefully, by the end of the day, we will be patients in the clinic where we'll conceive our babies.  we won't get to choose the donor, but we can stipulate hair and eye color, height and morphology if we want.  sperm is 115euros for one pipette and the insemination itself is 200euros, so it's about 200 euros less than the other cheapest place we found.  we could use some crossed fingers...

[carmen358]

Thanks for the new thread, Desert! Can I be moved to the 2WW? Thanks!

Cananny, sorry to hear about the fighting with DP. TTC is really hard...especially when it doesn't go the way you want. Try and be gentle with each other. It's good practice for when the baby comes!

rs: New year's weekend sounds like a fine time to TTC!

lisedea: What a strange cycle! I hope you get some answers soon.

Afm: Well, my temp is WAY up, strangely high actually. I think I'll start the progesterone tonight. I turned 41 today....I never thought I'd still be TTC but I truly don't feel 41!

ETA: lisedea, I just had a look at your chart...is there any way you actually O'd on CD19? Your chart seems to indicate that is a possibility....which would make you 12DPO...?

[lisedea]

Carmen--Yes, I actually think I O'd on CD18...maybe 19...who knows... If I did O then...there is no WAY that I am pregnant but that would explain why I haven't seen AF yet...that means, I should see her tonight or tomorrow because my luteal phase is normally about that long.

Seraf--It went up a bit but not as high as it was a couple of days ago.

[Amt1015]

Desert- Thanks for the shiney new thread!

Krista- Congrat! I hope this bean sticks for you and DP!!

AFM- AF showed. It is prolly for the best with DW being so sick and off work, altho the good news is she is mostly better only her hand and foot are numb now. She has gone back to work and is managing ok. It was a huge fight and she won.  But I guess as long as she is better and happy that is all that matters. With all of that said we will be taking a break from TTC til about Feb or March. I will keep reading everyday like always.

to all!!

[lisedea]

Ugg...AF (I think...weird pink spotting to start out) for me. We decided to try again this cycle...so...here we go again!! I decided to take a break from temping during AF...yea, vacation!

Amt--Sorry about AF but I am happy that your DW is doing better and is back to work! Have a relaxing break!

[rs11]

We just got some really bad news. Our donor's test results finally came back (they were delayed by the holiday). The results were not good, to say the least. They were bad enough to rule him out altogether.

So...now we're back to looking at sperm banks, and trying to come up with $1000 a cycle for up to 3 cycles to try IUI. My MIL says she'll help us some, but it's going to be rough.

[DesertSunsets]

I wanted to make sure to thank everyone for your warm and encouraging support of us continuing to try!  Sorry I neglected to do that last night.  :)  

CaNanny, it has to suck so much to be fighting over TTC.  I know that I hate it when DW and I are strained about anything, much less something consistently that we disagree on.  I know that I tend to look forward in time a lot, and think about "what if", and it sounds like you're doing that too, in asking your partner if she would reconsider trying again herself.  Maybe for a short span of time, you could just focus on getting *yourself* pregnant and not worry about what will happen if you don't get pregnant.  Like Krista so sagely pointed out a week or two ago, "Don't be where you aren't."  Situations change, and I think that with the help of this new RE you have a real chance at getting to carry a pregnancy.  Try to stay positive!  I'm rooting for you.  P.S. Where in AZ are you going to be?!  It figures, the one week someone comes to visit our state and we're on vacation.  WTF.  

Seraf, thanks for continuing to poke your head in here!  I always appreciate your stories and advice, and of course your support.  Thank you!  

Wehrli - good eye!  Haha.  I follow you ladies over on Q&P, so of course Mami doesn't belong in the "Waiting" category!  

Nosreves!  That's fantastic news about the clinic in Belgium!  FINGERS CROSSED for you guys!  

Happy Birthday, Carmen!!!  Our families come to us in lots of different ways... I hope being 41 and pregnant isn't too difficult to reckon into your plan.  This will be our fifth try too... lucky number five, right?  

Amt, I'm so glad your DP is doing better!!  Although I am sorry your cycle didn't work out, maybe it is for the best... ?  I'll go ahead and put you in "Waiting to be ready" and you can be moved out of there in February or March!  Keep popping in and saying hi, will you?  

Oh Lise, I'm so sorry.  I was really hoping this would be it for you.  Do you know, recently I've heard that some people believe that fertility is seasonal, and that can run in families.  Like women who consistently get pregnant only in the winter months having daughters who only get pregnant in the winter months.  I'm hoping this next cycle will bring you that healthy pregnancy you've been waiting for.  

rs11,  that sucks!  I'm sorry.  :(  Is there any way you could maybe decrease your costs by asking your RE if you could do ICI insems at home while still being seen by the doctor?  Some REs are okay with that.  I think all of us here understand the money concern; it's really sucky it costs so much for us to conceive, but c'est la vie.  

Afu, we're headed into another weekend.  Weekends here are bittersweet now; I'm learning to live without kids again.  But the whole time I wonder what they're doing at their mom's house, if they're okay, if they're feeling all right.  Yesterday, our little girl had an MRI to check for anatomic abnormalities in her brain, and her birthmom had to be there to sign off for the anesthesia.  My wife took her to the appointment.  While DW and birthmom were waiting, the birthmom was telling my wife about how her sister's daughter (6 months younger than our 'A') is getting aggressive and mean and hitting the other kids.  They asked the pediatrician (same pediatrician birthmom takes all her kids to) for advice, and the pediatrician supposedly said that the girl (Sophia) needs to learn that hitting doesn't feel good and so whenever she hits someone, that person (child) should hit Sophia in return.  So when A comes crying out of the bedroom, upset that Sophia hit her, her mother sends her back in there with the instructions to hit Sophia back.  -  I'm so incredibly floored by this.  I was speechless when DW told me the story.  She said she was so shocked when she heard the story, she didn't even say anything to the birthmom.  Last night we emailed all the workers and the attorney to let them know what was going on... but experience has taught me that nobody will do anything.  

Of course, after our kids started going on weekend visits, A kept getting in trouble at daycare for hitting other kids AS WELL AS her teachers, and screaming at them.  She has never behaved like this before.  How confusing must it be for her, to be taught to strike back when angry or hurt over the weekend and then spend the rest of the week being told that "hitting hurts, we don't hit".   I feel like teaching kids to strike back physically is such a slippery slope!  To be taught that it's acceptable to hit people when you're angry is very very wrong and backwards to me.  Plus, what's to stop the preschoolers from hitting the little guy?  He's almost 16 months old, and he gets into a lot of trouble.  Not surprising.  He also is into a biting phase; what are they going to do next, bite him back?  I'm still so outraged.  

Sorry for the novel.  I'm still kind of reeling from learning this and knowing that I'm about to send them back into the lion's den tomorrow.  

Is it so much to ask that all kids get a fair shot at life?  Our 'A' is already so shackled, and she is only 4 years old.  I'm so sad for her tonight.  

[Amt1015]

Originally Posted by DesertSunsets 

Oh Lise, I'm so sorry.  I was really hoping this would be it for you.  Do you know, recently I've heard that some people believe that fertility is seasonal, and that can run in families.  Like women who consistently get pregnant only in the winter months having daughters who only get pregnant in the winter months.  I'm hoping this next cycle will bring you that healthy pregnancy you've been waiting for.  

It is so funny you talk about fertility being seasonal. Both of sons are born is September, which is one of the many reason we are taking a short break from TTC. We don't want another September baby.

Desert- I will still be reading everyday like always and I'll post here and there. I am so excited you and DP are going to still try. What I meant by maybe it is for the best is DW was so sick with her MS this time that I was having to bathe her among other things in my taking care of her and I just feel it is for the best that this month did not for the fact that I don't need to be taking care of her and having to deal with early pregnancy sickness at the same time. I know it is hard with your foster kids but you have to realize sometime the state does stupid things and hope that the next time (cuz there WILL be a next time, I have seen it too many times) they take those beautiful babies from the birthmom that she has not "messed" them up worse than they already are. You also have to believe that the higher power has a plan for those babies and will keep them safe.

Carmen- Happy belated Birthday! I hope this is your month!!

[carmen358]

Amt: Sorry about AF but if it's a good thing then congrats. I hope your break is relaxing :)
 

lisedea: And sorry AF showed up for you too :( Exciting you'll try again though. Good luck to you!

rs: Oh no! That is bad news! The added cost of using a sperm bank and IUI just adds stress to an already stressful thing :( I hope it works out for you and is financially manageable. I guess one good thing is that at least you won't waste any more time with the donor.
 

Desert: Yes, lucky number 5, indeed! I find your foster kids' story so upsetting :( I can't imagine being in your position. I really hope with all my heart that they will be ok and that their mom will turn her life around.

Afm: 3DPO! Yay! My temp has stayed up so I started the progesterone suppositories. Good times. But I hope I have to use them for another 6-8 weeks! For those of you who have had a HSG, did you have any bloating after that lasted for awhile? I've been having so much bloating since about the second day after the test. My acupuncturist said she's heard that from other women as well. It's really uncomfortable. I have no other symptoms to report yet

[rs11]

Carmen -Happy belated birthday!

Desert -The RE is fine with it; my wife is not. You get so little as it is that she's horribly afraid of spilling it and would rather spend the extra $200 bucks to have the doctor do it.

We're looking at various sperm banks now; if anyone has a good recommendation, please let me know via pm. We were going to do Xytex because it is the closest to our location but, as it turns out, it is also one of the most expensive.

[Skyandtru]

Carmen- Happy belated Birthday and good luck this cycle

Lise and Amt- sorry about AF that's a bummer

Afu- We are 13 dpo, I have no symptoms except sore bbs, aching back and watery cm. I know I should be hopeful still but I am truly feeling like I am out for this cycle. DW is soo hopeful it saddens and hurts me to show her BFNs constantly . I knew the TTC process wasn't going to be easy and I know it is only my 2nd month of trying but I didn't expect to be drained by looking at a ghost white pregnancy strip or by looking at DW face when she sees the BFNs. If we are not pregnant this cycle we are going to take a break until February, that way we have some time to have more test ran on KD and maybe rethink our strategy. Oh and I forgot to mention we got a BFN today. still praying that there is still a chance I could be pregnant. fx

Super sticky Babydust to all of you Ladies

[DesertSunsets]

Carmen, sorry to hear you are still bloated and uncomfortable!  I'm glad your temps are cooperating, good luck on the progesterone!

rs11 - I understand about wanting to give yourself the best possible chance, that makes sense.  If self-insem isn't right for your wife, then so be it.  I find it incredibly interesting, the things I've learned about my wife throughout this process!  Never would have known otherwise that she doesn't appreciate being viewed as my personal science project...

Sky, sorry about your BFN.  Grrr.  I hope that you just tested too early and you'll still get a positive tomorrow!  Thinking of you and DP.  Keep strong, be kind to one another in these difficult times.  Don't let anyone trivialize what you are going through right now, when every month is the loss of "what could have been".  

Afu, the kids are off for the weekend.  DW is working a late show at her theatre tonight, so I had dinner with her parents (the out-laws, as they like to refer to themselves, haha!) and got to spend some time wandering through Michael's, which is always fun and usually expensive.  Then I spent some time looking through MIL's photos of DW and her siblings as babies, as well as all our nephews as babies!  Planning on doing a large, spanning over lots of time, baby portrait gift giving.  I'm thinking one portrait per gift-giving holiday.  It should be really cool when I'm finished, hopefully MIL will have space to hang all the paintings near one another so all the babies can be together!  I was also thinking of doing the same thing for my parents.  All in all, that's a lot of baby paintings.  Especially since I typically avoid portraiture like the plague.  Something crazy must have come over me! 

In other news, more speculums arrived today, along with a thermal coat and hoodie sweatshirt for our dog.  We've decided to rent a cabin with my parents and brother up in northern Arizona for Christmas rather than drive the California coast - easier logistically.  However, it gets pretty cold up north and I shave the dog every summer to keep him cool, and he hasn't grown his full coat back yet.  So I had to buy him one!  Haha.  The dog hoodie is really hilarious and silly, it's got a hood and a kangaroo pouch, but the pouch is on his back.  Like dogs use a kangaroo pouch.  Still, pretty cute.  I'll take pics of him, he's too funny.  

Swim team scheduled to arrive Monday!  Here's hoping this one is it, and we'll be able to announce a positive pregnancy test to my family on Christmas morning.  Everyone still thinks we've stopped trying to conceive until next summer, so it would be a really great surprise.  And if it doesn't work out, then nobody knew and it'll be just fine.  

Night everyone!