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Queer Conceptions - December 2011 - Page 6

post #101 of 210

Thanks. My appointment with the RE went really well. AF started with a vengeance Wednesday as well so it was actually nice to move on - I knew I'd feel better when it started. All my tests (blood tests, hsg, xray) came back normal. I'm apparently very normal, very healthy and everything looks great. He's not concerned about the 3 losses because they happened so early. He also reminded me that we've only tried 5 times and that that is not considered a long time. Which I know, of course, but it's nice to be reminded. He says there is nothing for him to treat so he said "get pregnant in the new year and come back to see me and we'll monitor the first trimester." Which was nice of him to say as well.


So, we're going to try again....likely at the end of December.

post #102 of 210

outdoorsy-  your clinic is giving you much the same advice as we received when we went to see the Genesis clinic here in Vancouver.  We spoke to Dr Beth Taylor (try googling her, she writes some interesting articles) and she told us that temping and 'all that stuff' might work for some people (there was just a hint of 'some people like to overcomplicate things' in the tone of her voice), but she only recommends to her patients the following: use an OPK from day 8 of your cycle until it shows positive then call the clinic and they'll inseminate that day.

Sounds very simple.


We're not using their services at the moment and I've read too much about cervix tracking and temping and CM by now to disregard all that. I guess I'm brain washed.  S likes things simple and straightforward, though, so this approach really appeals to her. She also hates Cm and speculums and all that jazz, so peeing on a stick is her preferred option. I guess we're going to try this approach for a few months and see if it works for us and if not I'm coming after her with that speculum again... orngbiggrin.gif


Desert- thanks for the affirming placenta.gif  I feel validated.  My new mission for placenta-only communication is barely under way and already finding advocates.


You made me laugh about that boy's intentions regarding his flavoured sperm. ROTFLMAO.gif  But you know, he was probably right. That was my last interaction with sperm until just last week and neither guy's sample smelled of anything (not even strawberries), so I'm now a fan of vegetarian sperm.  Well, maybe I wouldn't go that far...


My heart hurts for you when I read about you guys having to give up these kids to an uncertain future. It's just so damn unfair. Here you are trying so hard to make a baby and doing an amazing job of looking after another woman's kids and it is decided by the powers that be that the best option is for these kids to go back to someone who may well be their biological mother but who is clearly not going to be able to provide for them in the same way you have been and are able to.

Ugh. The world sucks sometimes.


lisedea- so, did you get off the island? did the fog clear? did you get to the clinic in time?

Your insemination sounds like an Agatha Christie mystery... with fogs and islands and airplanes... oh my!

I gotta get me some of those things into our next insem (if/when we have to do it) attempt. Just 'driving down the road 10 minutes to pick up' just doesn't have the same kind of glamour to it, ya know?



Carmen- so sorry that progesterone was messing with your mind. Ugh. 

I'm impressed with how quickly you're able to turn that around and look forward again. Wow. 

Sounds like your conversation with the RE was also very encouraging. So did I understand that right- you've tried 5 times and got pregnant 3 of those? That sounds pretty damn good! I think you're beating the odds by a few multiples there.

I know it's probably still pretty frustrating, but still.  It sounds like you guys are doing it right winky.gif



We've had a pretty crazy week. My normally very calm and together wife pretty much lost it for a few days there.  I'm talking bat-shit-crazy.  Random unexplained crying, bouts of anger, paranoia, severe feelings of insecurity and irritability... plus feeling all sorts of cramping and discomfort, bloating and gas, and we went to bed around 9 every night cause by then we were just exhausted.  She's never even had PMS before.   


She's back now, wondering where the heck she went to for a few days there... I'm glad we've been together for so long as it made the whole thing a lot more 'amusing' and less scary. I felt pretty calm and did my best to help her through whatever it was and be all supportive.  I knew she'd come out the other side and she has now. 

So, I don't know. Part of me thinks this is stress and feeling overwhelmed by symptoms of this huge shift she's making in her life. 

On the other hand I've seen her stressed many times, and I've seen her ill or depressed and going through all sorts of big stuff at one time or other in the past 15 years. I've seen her in a lot of situations. But I've NEVER seen her like she was this past week. Never. 

Whatever is going on is very very different and new.

So, I don't know. 

On Tuesday evening she was in the throes of a crying/ yelling/ totally losing it fit about the laundry-cupboard door (i had apparently left it ajar) and I was watching this Spectacle of Nature taking place in front of me and it was all I could do not to let her see me laughing, because I just wanted to yell 'you are SO pregnant, sweetcheeks! You gorgeous lunatic!' orngbiggrin.gif


So who the frik knows...

Like I said, she's back and feeing a lot better. 


If every TWW is going to be like this I'm getting the camera ready for next month!

I hope for her sake that she doesn't have to go through that again... she's totally exhausted.



Oh, I have a question- any of you suffer headaches or migraines?

what do you do or take for them while TTC? S suffers from both and was told she can't take anything during the TWW (or pregnancy). 

Any tips?


post #103 of 210

Carmen - good to hear you're feeling better.



mandatory blood tests for clinic insem = $971 !!!!!!!!

submitted to insurance company, outcome TBA.

post #104 of 210

desert- in lieu of a sperm-emoticon, this made me chuckle:



post #105 of 210
Thread Starter 

Carmen, I'm glad you're feeling better.  I know your doctor has a great point, that all your losses have been early and that nothing's amiss with you, but three losses (even early ones) in five months is exhausting.  Or I imagine it would be.  Regardless, your strength is awe-inspiring.  


placenta.gif - Your story about your wife made me crack up.  Sounds like an awesome sign!  Definitely keep the video camera handy - do you have a smart phone that could discreetly take video?!  That might work.  When do you guys plan on testing?  Or are you of the "wait it out" variety?  


Outdoorsy - yikes!  We're looking at a very similar charge coming up soon, for DW's appointment at the RE.  I hope insurance covers at least some of it.  


Oh also, Anna, I saw that article a few months ago!  Hilarious.  I wonder how heavy that thing is.   


As for us, life has been crazy these past few days.  Well... even more crazy than is typical, I guess.  We packed up all the kids' things today and loaded them in my truck for their return home tomorrow.  Their photo album has been completed, and my wife got to knit both of them hats, which was something she really wanted to do.  I wrote a blog using my business name about my feelings on the matter, if you care to read it it's here: http://www.blogher.com/ode-foster-children


Tomorrow (Saturday) will be 9 DPO.  Crazy!  Nothing to report, at least she hasn't mentioned anything.  We've pretty much dismissed any and all symptoms, because we've had four different cycles and all the symptoms in the book and no pregnancies, so we've taken simply to ignoring the passage of the TWW.  No testing for us until at least 12 DPO.  Here's hoping we can tell our families some really awesome news for Christmas!  

Oh!  Also, we finished up the first few ornaments last night but things have been so hectic and messy, I've had no time to take decent photos and upload them.  This weekend, I will for sure. 



post #106 of 210
Anna: wow, that all sounds really promising! What DPO are you at?

Desert: no symptoms can be equally as good....I'd say you still have a 50/50 chance orngtongue.gif

Afm: I don't feel very strong emotionally at times. Sometimes I feel downright broken and deeply, deeply sad. But I'm an optimist at heart...I can't help it. Yes, I've gotten pregnant 3 out of 5 tries...the RE says my odds are quite spectacular lol This last one wasn't confirmed with a blood test but I do have a photo of the positive test wink1.gif I dunno, I guess I'm just an extremely determined person that refuses to "fail" so I don't give up easily....can be a frustrating quality from another's point of view!

PS My DP and I went to Prince tonight...SO MUCH FUN.
post #107 of 210


Originally Posted by AnnaNotherThing View Post

Oh, I have a question- any of you suffer headaches or migraines?

what do you do or take for them while TTC? S suffers from both and was told she can't take anything during the TWW (or pregnancy). 

Any tips?


Thread crashing (Hi everybody!) to say I take 2 Tylenol, drink some caffeine, and use a warm compress on the back of my neck for my migraines. It's not always as effective as taking the stronger meds like Excedrin, but it is TTC/pregnancy friendly, as long as you don't go overboard with the caffeine - something like a cup of caffinated tea or a glass of soda, definitely not an energy drink!


I hope this helps!  Good luck on TTC!  smile.gif

post #108 of 210

Carmen: just dropping by to give you big hugs. I know how hard it is to be optimistic, especially when you think you're supposed to be lucky because you can get pregnant. It's the staying pregnant that's obviously the important part. I've gotten pregnant 3 out of 4 tries this year but not sure how lucky I feel. When you're ready, I hope you'll make consideration to think about the shape of your uterus (if you haven't already done that). As you know with me, I had a septum but opted not to do surgery. It wasn't until that second miscarriage that I had to make more consideration for it and had it removed. My RE is convinced that's what caused my miscarriages, especially since they were early losses. I'm not 100% convinced but would obviously be more convinced if they find a heartbeat at my u/s on Tuesday. Regardless, uterine septums can have up to a 90% miscarriage rate so when you have recurrent losses (like you and I have had) most REs will want to rule that out. Remember, most miscarriages are due to hormonal, structural or genetic issues so you have to start crossing off the list. I know your doc is positive and I hope that helps you. You know I'm a skeptic and always searching for the next right answer... smile.gif

post #109 of 210

Thanks, Krista :) They have checked out the shape of my uterus already and it's fine apparently so that's good news. He says we've crossed off hormonal, structural and testable genetic issues.....he really thinks it's just my age and that it will take longer to get a 'good' egg. I sort of agree with him. The clinic actually claims that for 40-50% (I think that was the number) of infertility cases there is never any "reason" found. Oh, and he said the last test to do at this point would be to have our KD's sperm tested for genetic stuff....but that the likelihood of finding something is very low. I declined.


Of course, other disciplines would disagree with unexplained fertility. I'm actually going to try a different acupuncturist this time too. I LOVE the doctor that I go to now and she specializes in fertility and helped me get pregnant with DD and have a great pregnancy but I'm thinking of changing things up a bit just to see what happens.

post #110 of 210

@Carmen, we see Andrea Lamont at Glow Wellness on Hornby and Nelson.  Or something and Nelson (am *terrible* with downtown street names).  She's fantastic.  We've also been going to Evolve Nurturing Vitality, since they are very focused on pre-pregnancy/pregnancy/etc.  We both see one of the chiros, and she also sees their ND and one of the RMTs.  We're pretty happy with them!!  :)


@Anna: My DW went a little bit nuts on a couple of cycles (was convinced she was pregnant, but BFN).  I think it's the stress and the excitement of the POSSIBILITY of being pregnant.  Now I ignore all possible pregnancy symptoms because I will drive myself mad if I don't (although when your DW yells "PULL OVER I'M GOING TO BE SICK", you def pay attention to that.  No actual barfing yet though).


Cheers guys!

post #111 of 210

Thanks for the recommendation, Allison. I went to Acubalance on West 8th with DD and the doctor I saw there left and opened her own practice so I stayed with her. And I've actually thought more about it and I'm going to do one more cycle with her I've decided. Mainly because I'm not sure I'll be able to get in to see the new doctor (another tcm doctor that a friend went to) for this cycle.

post #112 of 210

Carmen -Hugs. I hope next month is the month for you!


Outdoorsy -Wow, and they didn't check with your insurance BEFORE doing the blood work?

post #113 of 210

Hi!  I'm new here, just started reading this forum as part of my first TWW obsession period and I am loving the community and support I am seeing here!  I would love to join your queer parenting community!


I'm about 10dpo and not going to test until at least 14dpo.. I was definitely tempted but after reading some torturous stories of uncertainty here in the forums, I decided to just wait it out.  What do you all do to help yourselves get through the waiting period?  I'm finding it just TOO suspenseful!  My partner keeps saying, "We'll know when we know." Ah, so sweet and calm!  I know it would be miraculous if it worked after the first IUI, but ya never know, right???


Thank you for sharing your stories; they are giving me much inspiration & hope!

post #114 of 210

Planet - a very warm welcome to you in this chilly season. My advice for the 2WW is to make plans to spend time with other people, which takes your mind off it in a more positive way than, say, vegging in front of the TV. Fortunately this is a holiday week for many of us, so if that applies to you, maybe your holiday plans will help pass the time.


rs11 - they don't check with the ins co in advance because if you want to insem at that clinic, you have to agree to cover any charges the ins co doesn't. I would have to try to price it out myself if I wanted to pay a lower rate elsewhere.


Krista - good luck at your appt on Tuesday! Everyone here is rooting for you!


Carmen - Sending positive vibes your way.


Desert - I agree with you that dismissing all "symptoms" during the 2WW is the way to go. Good luck to you for happy Christmas news!


Anna - That freakout sounds familiar. Sounds like you are able to keep a positive attitude about it, which is really cool. I hope you get your BFP!


lise - thinking of you and your island-hopping. How's things?


As for me -- status quo. Couldn't insem this month, so I'll have AF any day now, then wait to o. We are spending a weekend away Jan 21 and 22, so I hope my surge doesn't wait until then!

post #115 of 210
New here. This cycle is our first try. At home ICI, sperm bank donor.***** Waiting to O ***** CD 10. Swim Team being shipped out today, arriving on Wednesday!!! What a hectic time to O around... Christmas Eve/Christmas.... Very excited and NERVOUS!
post #116 of 210

Hello all!  I am back after a long hiatus.  DP and I have been going through IVF Treatment.  We were thrilled to find we were pregnant after our Sept FET but, sadly, I had a m/c at just over six weeks.  I went dormant for quite a while dealing with the grief.  However, after some encouraging words from our RE, we decided to move forward with another IVF cycle.  DP's retrieval was on Friday.  We got 14 total eggs with 10 of them mature.  Of the 10 mature eggs, 9 fertilized.  My transfer (5 day) is scheduled for Wednesday.  I am meditating and trying to stay as calm as possible in preparation - not the easiest feat during this time of year.   


I am not the world's best at personals and/or frequent updates but wanted everyone to know that I do follow along and cheer and mourn with everyone here on this roller coaster of a journey. 

post #117 of 210
Thread Starter 

Hey everyone!


Allison, how's it going?  When are you testing?  GOOD LUCK! 


Planet, welcome to Queer Parenting!  We're glad to have you.  Congratulations on being almost done with your first TWW!  I'll stick you on the Master Roster on the first page.  As far as avoiding being insane... I don't know that there really is any great advice.  The best I can suggest is to force yourself to NOT focus on it every moment of the day.  I did that our first TWW and I tell you what, it was the worst two weeks ever, I swear.  A lot of people suggest getting a two week project, or doing Spring Cleaning (or Winter Cleaning, rather...), or just trying to keep yourselves otherwise occupied.  We're right about in the same places in the TWW, my wife is 11 DPO today and we're likely testing tomorrow morning.  Here's hoping for you! 


Outdoorsy, I certainly hope your next cycle cooperates much better than this one.  Glad you're getting back into the game soon.  I also hope your surge shows up before your weekend away!  Thinking of you. 


esenbee, welcome to Queer Parenting!  It's so nice to see all these new faces.  Good luck on your first insemination!  How many vials do you plan to use?  One?  Just wondering!  I'll also put you on our Master Roster on the front page. 


Alphahen!  It's so nice to "see" you.  I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.  hug.gif  However, what amazing news that you are about to undergo another round, with your partner's eggs!  Were you using her eggs before, or yours?  I can't remember.  The numbers sound so promising, I really hope this is IT for you guys.  What great strength you have, keep it up. 


To all the new faces: Tell us about yourselves!  Are you partnered?  How long have you been together?  Do you have children already?  I love to know everyone's stories!  Welcome! 


As for us, DW is 11 DPO today.  She's been reporting sore/achy breasts and mild, generalized cramping in her lower abdomen for a couple days now, but those symptoms don't seem to be unusual in her luteal phase while we're TTC, haha.  She never noticed them before we started trying, even while she was paying close attention.  I feel like her body is just mocking us sometimes, lol.  We're hopeful, trying to stay positive. 


Saturday morning our foster children went home, so our house is kinda lonely.  Just us and the dog and the cat.  Plus it's a disaster zone, because we've been doing some insane crafting and painting and it looks like a tornado blew through, still leftover from Friday, when my wife packed up all the kids' things.  We just haven't been home to get it all cleaned up and organized! 


Trying to get Christmas shopping and crafting finished up this week before we leave Friday evening to spend the next week with my parents at a cabin in northern AZ.  We're really hoping we can announce to our parents for Christmas that they'll be getting a grandbaby.  We'll see! 

post #118 of 210
Just one vial.

We have been married (CT Wedding) for 1 year, 7 months. We've been together 3 years, 8 months. We have 1 daughter, she's 3 years, 3 months.

We have been talking about TTC for awhile now and planned on doing reciprocate surrogacy, me to carry her eggs. We planned for next August. But we just don't want our daughter to be much more older than she already is, so we decided to to just use a donor that matches her instead of me and to try immediately.
post #119 of 210
Welcome.gifesenbee and planet! Good luck to you both!

Desert--Oh I hope this it! fingersx.gif Is she going to test or wait it out? Also, could you please move me to the two week wait? Thank you!

alpha--Nice to see you back! I am so sorry to hear about the m/c but glad to see you are moving forward. I will be thinking about you on Wednesday!!

outdoorsy--Yikes on the cost of the blood tests! I guess I am lucky to have some insurance--even if procedures aren't covered. It will all be worth it in the end and we will completely forget (okay...probably not completely wink1.gif) about money spent.

placenta.gif--Oh my goodness! That article is about my bank!! Ha! So...any news yet?? What DPO is she at?

Carmen--I am so happy to see that you are feeling better since the last time I checked in. It will happen! It is just a matter of time!

So...3dpo. Our timing was incredibly perfect...best yet. My temp was way down on insem morning (so I hadn't o'd yet), I felt O pains at about 9am, had an ultrasound around 10:30 that showed that the egg had recently released--and we insemmed just after that (and the swimmers looked good). I have been eating pineapple core every day in hopes that my little egg will implant itself (lining looked good..but ya never know..and I can't help but try everything!). After being gone all weekend, it is good to be back with the animals..although DW is still off island working with a paramedic crew... I have 2 1/2 days left until break! Whoo hoo!
post #120 of 210

Anna?! What going on over your way? You asked about headaches....I get sinus headaches a lot but was lucky not to have them too bad when pregnant with DD. I didn't take anything except once very close to delivery date when it was really, really bad....I took one tylenol. I would suggest extra calcium/magnesium, tiger balm (or the like), deeply inhaling apple cider vinegar and an ice pack if it's really bad. Of course, figuring out the cause and fixing that would be my first try.


Welcome, planet! Keep us updated on your testing! I don't do anything different during the tww than any other time. I have a pretty busy life and manage to obsess during all times of my cycle equally anyway ;) But seriously, I rely on acupuncture.


And welcome to you too, esenbee. Good luck with your first insem!! We hope to insem around new year's eve :D



Hi alphahen! I'm so sorry for your loss :( I hope your transfer goes well this time and that this is THE one. Keep us updated.



Desert, sounds like some good symptoms ;) When will you test? Big hugs to you for having to say goodbye to your foster kids. Will you be kept updated at all?

lisedea, wow, that does sound perfect. Hooray!



Afm: I'm in that boring part of the cycle between AF and O (CD6) so I have nothing exciting to report!

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