Queer Conceptions - December 2011 - Page 8

[DesertSunsets]

Wow, everybody! Thank you all so much. We are simply ecstatic. We are also bursting at the seams, because we haven't told either of our parents and we are dying to do so. Hopefully we will get to tell DW's parents tonight and my parents and brother when we meet them at the cabin in northern AZ on Friday. We bought both sets a lovely children's book, called On the Day You Were Born, and we'll wrap them up and give them as Christmas gifts. Also considering including a photo of a digital pregnancy test wrapped in Christmas paper with only one end torn off so you can see the word "Pregnant". Time will tell.

It really does feel like this baby has been waiting on us. Waiting until we needed her or him to come along. I remembered this morning, that last January I wrote a letter to the baby asking he or she come to us in August or September, meaning conception in August or September, 2011. I guess I wasn't clear enough, because DW's tentative EDD is August 27, 2012.

Our four year wedding anniversary is August 22nd and my birthday is September 9, so I am beyond pleased to share that time of the year with a new life. Please stick around, our little cupcake! We want very much to meet you.

Okay! More than enough about us. I am thinking very happy, hopeful thoughts to all of you in the TWW! I'd love to share a DDC with some other queer families.

Also, Krista, if you are reading, our thoughts are with you. I am so sorry your OB is a horribly insensitive person and you are going through this during the holidays. Hugs to you and DP.

More personals later!

[DesertSunsets]

Oh! Anna, my DW also thought it was worth suggesting to you that your partner get physical therapy, if she isn't already. DW has suffered several neck and spine injuries as a result of playing contact sports and has a history of nasty migraines. She tends to get a lot more when she is stressed and tense, as she tightens her shoulders and trap muscles and it messes with her neck. After an auto accident a year ago, she was referred to a physical therapist and it helped so much. Not only do they educate you on what is wrong and help stretch you out, they teach you strengthening and stretching exercises to do at home. She was also seeing a massage therapist for weekly deep tissue massages at the time.
You and DP are in our thoughts! Sore necks and migraines are awful. Good luck.

[DesertSunsets]

Yep, we are EXACTLY this nerdy:

[AnnaNotherThing]

i love that!

wish i could be a fly on the wall when you tell them!!!  

[outdoorsy]

Desert that is SO adorable. Have fun!

[esenbee2]

Desert, That is such a cute idea! I just wish my parents would be that thrilled as your all's parents seem like they would be to find out... I think my parents still hope that one day I'll wake up and realize, Hey, I don't want to be with a girl anymore, I think I'll go find myself a husband.... lol

***

So, the swim team arrived yesterday. It seems pretty surreal that there are little spermies just chilling in a box in our bedroom... It's CD 13. Been doing OPK sticks since CD 8. Last night I thought I saw a faint line, but I forgot about it and it was after 8 minutes that I read it... Checking 3 times today...

[lisedea]

Anyone else use fertilityfriend? If so...I think you should post your chart because the only other person I have to stalk is Carmen!! Please! I need something to do at 6dpo...ugg...

[lisedea]

esenbee--I think my parents do too!! My mom actually told me at one point during this process that it might be easier/cheaper to just find some guy. I told her she was creepy. When do you normally O? I know everyone surges differently...mine gradually gets darker and darker until it is apparently positive (MUCH darker than control line...and then I use a smiley OPK to confirm) while other people all of a sudden have a positive out of nowhere.

[darthtunaqueen]

@Lisedea, ugh, my dad said that too (and he's a pretty conservative guy, not politically, but he's quiet and reserved and has good manners, isn't the beer drinking, testosterone fuelled dude).  I told him it was weird.  He was also turning beet red as he suggested it.  My poor dad.  ;)  We're DPO 9 today, so I'm right with you on the crazy train.  And oohhhh did the crazy train ever come to town this month (maybe it's just Christmas?).  

@Desert: love the idea.  We were planning that for Christmas morning if it's positive, since December 25 is DPO 12.  Do you think I'll jinx it if I go out and buy 2 digital pregnancy tests???  I hope there is much screeching and jumping and tears and much kissing when you announce it!!  :D  I hope someone looses their shit a la http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS9H3vc49kY

[AnnaNotherThing]

oh yes, desert, please, please- can we haz video??!

[esenbee2]

I've never tracked it before. We had the opportunity to try this cycle so decided to take a shot at it. With my daughter's conception, it was an accidental pregnancy in a non-committed heteronormative relationship. By precise calculations, I O'd on CD 16.

[planet]

Desert, that is such a cute idea!  They are going to LOVE it! Can't wait to hear how it goes.

Allison, that video is the most amazing, joyful moment EVER! Thank you for sharing. 

So, I'm pretty sure I feel AF coming on. Disappointing, but I didn't expect it to work the very first time we tried.  Still, you never know... it hasn't actually happened yet!  Crossing my fingers for a miracle, but at the same time, we are starting to strategize for the next IUI.  We're gonna do two IUIs next cycle, as my personal TTC bible, "The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy and Birth" recommends doing at least two per cycle to increase chances of conception.

I have a question for all you courageous queer parents and future parents out there.  Do you all wait for the positive OPK result to do your IUI?  Or do any of you give more weight to your other signs and go ahead and inseminate earlier?

This cycle, I noticed other fertility signs - temp, cervical fluid, a "gut feeling" - but was waiting for the OPK result (as my ND had instructed, she wanted to do the IUI 24hrs after the positive result).  I started OPKing three times a day, and got a positive result at 9pm.  I shared with the ND the other symptoms I've noticed, and expressed that I felt 24 hours was too long, and we agreed to do 12 hours instead.  So we did the IUI the next morning at 9:30am.  Our amazing ND was very happy about the openness of my cervix and it was a really easy IUI, which she said was a good sign! 

But "The New Essential Guide" says that most people end up inseminating way too late, as many docs recommend waiting 24 hours after a positive OPK. The book says, "This is the worst trap to fall into!"  The book also says that LH is released at different times for different people, and that you shouldn't solely rely on OPK tests as an ovulation indicator.  So I am, of course, wondering now, did we wait too long?  Or should we have waited the full recommended 24 hours?  Or was my initial gut feeling that the timing was awesome right on?

It's all so confusing!  And I have now read so many different pieces of advice and stories that there are many conflicting messages muddling my mind.  I would be SO very grateful to hear your thoughts on this matter.  Thank you! 

And GOOD LUCK to all of you in TWW land!!!!

[lisedea]

And now for a mini-vent.

Well, I watched the video that Allison posted...and it was super cute (especially the two dad thing!). But then...because it is YouTube, I stumbled upon thousands of others...after watching two more, I got extremely pissed off and started crying. I guess after over a year of trying with nothing to show for it, I have become extremely bitter. Ugg. You should see me around the pregnant women that I work with (one pregnant by "accident"--I think to keep her bf around--and the other started trying way after I did)...I feel like I have been spending all my time at work hiding out because they are constantly complaining about their symptoms, talking about their shower (one of them I got roped into helping throw), and appointments. I can't wait until they go on maternity leave (only 3 more months!!!)

Oh man...I might be close to my breaking point...or pregnant? Ha.

[TineyDreams]

Desert: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!    What an exciting time!! ahhH!!!

Lise: So sorry about how you're feeling.. DP and I started to talk about wanting to have a baby almost 2 years ago--We haven't actively tried for that long (actually, we just had our 1st insem. today =) ), but I def. know that feeling that you're talking about it...  hugs your way!!

AFU: We are officially in the TWW!!! 

[Hopeful22]

Hello to all! I am new here, well actually I have been lurking around since about August, gleaning as much information from you ladies as possible. Just so you know a little bit about me, my wife and I have been together for just over 3 years, married for 1. We have been talking about TTC for quite awhile and I have been charting since the end of August. Our plans were to start inseminating in January, but right now we aren't sure if we will be able to do it this cycle or next. We are using sperm donor through a bank, but have had some trouble with getting the donor that we originally were set on. I am thrilled to have found such a wonderful group of women.

And Desert, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! I have been following your story and every time you were talking about the little ones going back my heart ached for you. I am truly thrilled for you and your wife!

To everyone in the TWW, my fingers are crossed for you, and baby dust to the rest of you.

[alphahen]

Desert:  You are so creative!! I love the book "On the Day You Were Born".  What a wonderful idea!  If we get lucky in this cycle, I might just have to steal your idea   

Lise:  I definitely understand how you feel.  After trying for so long,  it really stings sometimes.  I've have had a similar experience as I have been trying to Christmas shop over the last few weeks.  It seems that everywhere I go, the world is teaming with pregnant women and infants.  Not always easy...

AFU:  Thanks so much to everyone for all your good wishes. They were definitely felt.  In the words of our RE, we got an early Christmas present and had two 4AA blasts to put back.  He also believed we were going to be able to freeze at least four and possibly more embryos.   The transfer really well.  I've found some great guided meditation tracks that made it a nice calm experience and I have been taking it easy since.  Now for the wait.....  At least I have the holidays and lots of family to distract me. 

Wishing peace to you all.

[Skyandtru]

Desert-Congratulations that's such wonderful news   you are very creative, i love the idea

Newcomers-

AFU- We pretty much mapped out a new game plan for the next few cycles. if we are unsuccessful the next few cycles we may turn to IUI. I feel really hopeful I think it's because of Deserts' story. Yesterday was my birthday and I really would have liked to get a bfp as a birthday/Christmas gift but that wasn't possible because we didn't insem this cycle but other than that I got to drink wine and eat sushi which I hadn't had in 6 months.

BABY DUST AND GOOD VIBES TO EVERYONE TTC!!!!!!  

[planet]

Good morning everyone!

Well, our first try was a negative. :(  We had figured it probably wouldn't happen the very first time we tried, but still were hopeful, of course!  So, I feel disappointed. :(

Not sure if we're going to be able to try again in January - we are going out of town near the suspected time.  So we may have to wait til Feb. for attempt #2.

Thinking of all of you and hoping you will get your positive results!

[esenbee2]

Well, still waiting on OV .  No +OPK yet.  Answer brand dip strips have shown a slight mark last 2 tests 10pm last night and 1:00 pm today.  Went and bought a 7 pack of ClearBlue digital tests because my control lines on the Answer brand are so light and the strips' width is so tiny, I'm just worried of missing it!  The digital test reads an empty smiley face.  Temps have stayed at 97.07ish.  CM has increased, is still white, but clearing up some.  So that gives me another 1 1/2 at least, right?  Going away from home (1 hr away) to visit the In-Laws for Eve of Christmas Eve and Christmas Eve day.  It isn't really feasible to do the insem. there, so hoping my window will still be open when we get back Christmas Eve night! What do you all think?

[lisedea]

esenbee--From my experience, if the lines are still really light, you probably are fine (although everyone surges differently). Sometimes the surge takes longer to arrive than expected...waiting for it is my least favorite part of the whole process. Keep in mind that even if you DO get a smiley face on Christmas Eve, you won't ovulate immediately. The surge is just the warning sign that you will ovulate in 12-48 hours (I tend to O around 24). Since you are using frozen sperm (and it doesn't live very long), the closer you insem to O the better!! Do you plan on taking OPKs with you? Good luck!

planet--Sorry about the BFN...

alphahen--Glad things are going so well!!

Tiney--Hooray! Let the symptom-analyzing begin!

7dpo....not much going on around here. I had terrible cramps on 5dpo (chance of implantation?) but other than that, nothing much. Occasional waves of nausea...but that happens to me quite a bit so I don't count it as a symptom. I am still trying to decide whether we will test or wait it out...if we test, we will on Monday...if we wait it out, AF should arrive on Wednesday. We'll see how hopeful I feel at that point.

I am still waiting for you all to post your charts so I have something to stalk!