or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Queer Parenting › Queer Conceptions - December 2011
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Queer Conceptions - December 2011 - Page 4

post #61 of 210

nosreves: you sound like you could use a hug....so hug2.gif

Welcome, Allison. Wow, TTC must be in the water at all the lesbian haunts in Vancouver orngtongue.gif Are you using a KD or frozen? FWIW, I couldn't get a positive opk when I was TTC my DD for several months...but I knew I was O'ing because I got pregnant! Eventually I started testing twice a day and then was able to pick it up no problem when I figured out the best time of day for me to test.



Afm: I've guessed I'm not pregnant. That isn't based on anything concrete or scientific....just a guess. I still hope I am but I'm not feeling great about the timing we had. I tore the bathroom apart while DD was in the bath tonight looking for a "spare" pregnancy test lol But I didn't find one. I think I'll test Sunday morning while we're away (12 DPO). Question again....for those of you who take progesterone after O....when do you stop taking it? My RE didn't say and I forgot to ask. My LP is usually 12 or 13 days.


post #62 of 210

Anna, Lise, and Carmen -Good luck! I hope you get BFPs for Christmas!


Allison -Welcome!


So, the latest news on us. We're still go to do the blood work and ultrasound first week in January; if everything is good, I'll take the meds and we'll do the IUI about two weeks later, sometime around DW's birthday. love.gif


We're still on the hunt for a donor. I love my MIL, even if she is a little weird, lol. DW has been keeping her abreast of this whole process, sharing donors with her, everything, and she's been completely cool with it. Not only that, she's offered to help us with the cost. She stepped her offer up yesterday when DW explained to her that our RE told us we should look at a different sperm bank and that we'd have to go with a donor that was on discount. She basically freaked out and said that "no way are we allowed to have a 'sale' baby" (I know, I know). So she's offered to cover the difference in vial cost for any donor we want. She was really upset, and she said that it was wrong that they should ever put the "angel sperm" on sale. (In case you're wondering, she is VERY Catholic.) DW said it was all she could do not to laugh as she accepted the offer.

post #63 of 210

Hi Carmen: just popping in to say that I usually go about 14 days. I have an 11/12 day LP. They say by day 14 (because that's the "average" LP in a woman) or when you get a neg pregnancy test. It can hold your AF back so in my opinion, it's a good idea to stop it as soon as you can. I have had my AF break through many times before, but two months ago it f***ed with my head and didn't break through so I thought it was a BFP. I had to POAS to get it all squared away. I'm hoping otherwise for you. I truly am.


Hugs to everyone else out there.



post #64 of 210
Originally Posted by rs11 View Post

We're still on the hunt for a donor. I love my MIL, even if she is a little weird, lol. DW has been keeping her abreast of this whole process, sharing donors with her, everything, and she's been completely cool with it. Not only that, she's offered to help us with the cost. She stepped her offer up yesterday when DW explained to her that our RE told us we should look at a different sperm bank and that we'd have to go with a donor that was on discount. She basically freaked out and said that "no way are we allowed to have a 'sale' baby" (I know, I know). So she's offered to cover the difference in vial cost for any donor we want. She was really upset, and she said that it was wrong that they should ever put the "angel sperm" on sale. (In case you're wondering, she is VERY Catholic.) DW said it was all she could do not to laugh as she accepted the offer.

Just curious... but for what reason do sperm go on discount? I have never heard of that. Your MIL sounds very sweet though. :)

post #65 of 210
The place I go through has sperm on discount for new donors (to get people interested) and for retiring donors (get rid of vials because they are done donating). Plus, I think they are just trying to be nice to those of us that have been trying for a long time, aren't wealthy, and don't have people willing to pitch in. smile.gif
post #66 of 210

AllisonWelcome.gif SO happy to see you here!


AFU: Early Friday morning (2am) we drove a friend to the hospital that was 1.3 hrs away. She was in LABOR! She was staying with us this past week and we knew that she could go into labor at any minute so we had a plan on how to get her back home; pick up her husband; and go to the birthing center where she was to have her baby. ...DP and I just didn't think we were going to have to use the plan! lol


Anyway, we drove from Bowling Green OH to Ann Arbor MI in the 1st snow storm of the year..while having our friend having contractions in the car. I honestly thought we might have to stop and deliver the baby in the car! When we got to the Birthing Center she was 8cm dilated and ready to pop out her babe! She allowed me and DP to go into the room with her and we witnessed her having her 1st child. It was amazing.... It was so emotional b/c they've gone through so much to get pregnant! 3 cycles of IVF with an almost infertile husband and used up all their life savings...


Needless to say, DP and I had an amazing Friday. The next amazing news is that DP finally started her period and we are able to inseminate this month! As of now, DP will be on clomid from CD 3-CD7 and then we will go for an ultrasound on Dec. 20 to see how the follicles are doing. She will also be given Profasi to induce O--has anyone used Profasi before? Any tips on what to expect?? She's a little nervous about it...  We are just so excited right now!



post #67 of 210

KsDoula:Not sure why sperm goes on sale--but we got ours on a deal! haha...It was the "Winter Special" and if we bought 3 vials, we would get a 4th one FREE! lol DP and I had a good laugh when we were ordering our swim team and using the coupon..lol

post #68 of 210

lisedea- you should definitely come to Vancouver! It's lovely here. But come in the Summer. It rains a LOT here when it's, uhm... not Summer.  If you come I'll show you the sights!


I hope your insemination goes well next week and remember- don't leave the island! (D.L.T. I.)



Desert- that painting is lovely. Heart-felt presents are the best. What a lovely art work to have in the family.

So much better than just 'shopping'.


And yes, we've done 2 more insems this week! Yay!

One on Thursday evening and one today (Saturday morning).  Both were very chilled out experiences and things are starting to settle into a bit of a routine which is nice.

S got a smiley on her OPK on Friday, so she's finally ovulating today (Sat) and this morning's insem might work out. I guess we'll see.


I think we're finding picking up from his place a little easier than having him come over to our place to 'donate'. I think he's more relaxed at home and, uhm, 'produces' more. winky.gif

And yeah, we know we're super lucky to be doing this with him. We looked at anonymous donors for years, asked friends if they would donate... but nothing worked out or felt right.  I thought this wasn't going to happen for us...

The important thing is to make this happen in the best way that's available and that feels right for each of us, right? 


I know it's easy for me to say, as this is our first month, but try not to lose confidence.

I'm trying to look at this process as creating a possibility- putting the ingredients together and putting ourselves into the right place and state of mind for the universe to do it's thing- or not. I feel lucky to be able to jump into this and create this possibility for ourselves. Yes, of course I want a pregnancy, but just to be able to take part, to jump in and participate and make ourselves available for this possibility is a wonderful experience.


(Uhm, someone remind me of that in a few months time, will ya? wink1.gif )


I was reading about your difficulties with the timing of DW's ovulation.  How frustrating. It sounds like you're getting a handle on it, though. 

I was wondering- how do you know she ovulated 12 hours post-OPK last month? That's a pretty exact number, and you sound sure, so how are you determining this?


Enjoy your last few days with Big A and Little A.  These days are precious.  I'm sure you guys will make the most of them.


Carmen - have a great time in Victoria!  And fingers crossed for you!



Gotta finish this now, but will be back later...





post #69 of 210
Thread Starter 


Nosreves, your week sounds exhausting!  And next week too.  But yippee for two weeks off!  I was reading the part about your partner being excited about Belgium and how you're feeling numb, and it just made my heart ache.  Hugs to you, mama.  I haven't had nearly the number of challenges you two have experienced but I do feel as if I can relate to the numbness and the feeling of defeat.  If it weren't for you and the rest of the lovelies here, as well as our supportive families and friends, it would have been incredibly difficult for us to even continue trying to conceive.  I believe your partner is totally right; this new clinic with it's amazing doctor and staff completely is a hopeful new beginning.  You can do this.  You will do this.  You're going to bring home at least one baby, and this clinic in Belgium is going to help you achieve your dreams.  Be steadfast in your desires!  Keep your chin to the sunshine, my friend.  We are all here for you.  


P.S. Yes, the painting is in acrylics!  I love acrylic.  I'm too impatient to work in oil, and my confidence is broken over using watercolors though I'm considering trying it again.  We'll see.  I'm just a weekend hobby painter; I took a drawing and a painting class in high school but really it's just been a love of mine that I've kept practicing.  If you have questions, I'd be happy to do my best to answer them, but to be truthful I'm still shocked anytime a painting comes out looking nice.  


Welcome to Queer Parenting, Allison!!!  It sounds like you and your wife have been on quite the journey.  Your insem experience this month sounds so encouraging!  I really sincerely hope this TWW ends in a nice positive pregnancy test for you!  I'll add you to the front page roster, under "Braving the TWW" - if/when you need to be moved to a different category, just post it in bold and I'll move you!  


Lise, that stinks that your school is so afraid of lawsuits!  I hope it doesn't pass.  I just keep telling myself that all the gay rights fights and arguments and laws and lawsuits are temporary.  People fight the hardest against new things just before they change.  Someday, we'll get there.  I believe that.  I'm just going to wait it out.  winky.gif  Monday is coming up, soon you'll be able to pee on those sticks!  It's strange, the things that make us happy, isn't it?


Carmen, I'm sorry you aren't feeling pregnant.  That's never a good feeling.  Urgh.  Here's hoping for a surprise positive tomorrow!  Hugs to you.  hug.gif


rs - Your story about your MIL is so sweet and funny.  I always adore hearing stories about supportive families, because there are so many stories of unsupportive families out there.  Good luck!  I hope you can conceive a baby on your wife's birthday!  


TineyDreams, WOW!  What a story about your friend's labor and delivery!  That sounds incredible.  What a great way to start off a cycle!  This month's plan sounds so fantastic for you guys, I hope this is it for you! 


Anna - Glad you guys are figuring out exactly what works best for you, especially with regards to your donor and the way you orchestrate that happening.  And your calm inseminations sound ideal, congrats!  The funny thing about TTC is that every single one of us comes at it from a different place, a different perspective.  And add to that, some of us have been trying for a few months, some of us are at a year or more, and new couples are joining every day who are just starting out.  I appreciate your words of encouragement, because it reminds me of the way I *want* to feel while we're trying.  It's so easy to get discouraged and start to feel negatively about it, like this is never going to happen, and that isn't healthy or ideal for conceiving a child.  Hang onto your optimism, it's such a valuable commodity.  

About the ovulation, we're able to zero in somewhat closely on when DW ovulates, but our accuracy increases after she ovulates.  After the fact, we're pretty good at saying, "Yep, you ovulated at this time, which puts it at X hours post smiley."  For that we're just using her basal body temps and cervical mucus and position and openness.  During the actual ovulation window, we're pretty much stabbing in the dark, it feels.  Sometimes her chart shows a fallback rise, so she'll have two temp dips and spikes right after a positive OPK and it's like, WHICH ONE IS *THE* ONE?!  Don't know.  She always has a clear thermal shift on her chart, so we are confident she is ovulating, it's just that her ovulation is not consistent from month to month with regard to when the OPK becomes positive.  It's rather infuriating.  So I guess we're generalizing the ovulation timeframe by rounding up or down a little, but I think we're pretty close.  Last month, her temp dipped on the same day as her positive OPK but I was expecting her to have another dip and spike after the initial one, so we didn't inseminate until a day after she likely ovulated.  That wasn't very fun.  


All in all, I've come to accept that I don't know jack about what's happening in there and I just have to keep hoping that at some point, we'll get lucky.  

AFU, today we're 2 DPO and life is good.  DW has been at work since early this morning, and I've spent the day lounging around watching Friends, talking to my mom on the phone, and working on my mom's birthday present, which is a painting of me when I was a baby.  Part of the baby portrait series I mentioned a week or so ago.  Later this evening is "Craft Night" at the in-laws, where I will be working on ceramic Christmas ornaments.  


Happy weekend, all! 

post #70 of 210
Originally Posted by KSDoulaMama View Post

Just curious... but for what reason do sperm go on discount? I have never heard of that. Your MIL sounds very sweet though. :)

The different banks we've been looking at do it for different reasons, but almost all of them have a discounted donor program. Some are new donors, as someone else said, but others are for 'inventory rebalancing needs' or some such. For instance, Xytex has the 'Select' donors which are $380 instead of $555, and Fairfax has Family Solutions donors, which are also much cheaper than their other donors. They are the same quality, and the donors go in and out of rotation on the selection. Some banks also have discounted Open ID donors.

post #71 of 210

ugh, insomnia is so dull.

On the plus side it gives me lots of time to catch up here!


nosreves- I love the fact that you guys are trying at the same time.  It really speaks volumes. 

I think it wouldn't be the 9 months of simultaneous pregnancy that would worry me the most (although it is a crazy-making prospect). I would be more concerned about what happens when/if one of us gets pregnant and the other doesn't.  If both of us were trying and going through that emotional roller coaster each month I think it would feel quite conflicting for the one that didn't get pregnant (first). I imagine I'd be both overjoyed but also devastated at the same time if I was in that position, you know?  It sounds like you guys have got it all sussed out though.  I wish you both all the luck on your trips to Belgium.


And yes, ich spreche Deutsch! Leider nicht mehr sehr gut denn ich bin als elf jaehrige mit meiner Familie nach Canada ausgewandert.

It also makes my brain itch to type in German. Like typing with your arms crossed over.

I was born in Germany and lived there until I was 11 when my family emigrated to Canada. I did all my highschool years here then went back over to Europe (England) for Uni, fell in love with S, got married and ended up staying there for 13 years.  We only moved back to Vancouver 2 years ago. So I'm a bit of a mish-mash! Born in Germany but with a Swiss nationality (from my mother) I consider myself Canadian but speak with a weird British accent. Go figure.

Oh, I also lived in France (paris) for a year as an Au Pair between high school and moving to London, and speak some (half-forgotten) french, too. French kids are the cutest!! You guys are going to have adorable kids. The two I looked after were just lovely.  Of course they're out of university by now and uploading photos on facebook of their drunken weekend parties... which makes me feel about 100 years old.


Allison Hi fellow Vancouverite! ~ waves

Now there's 3 of us, I think we have ourselves a party!   jammin.gif


It sounds like life has been stressful for you guys- I have my fingers crossed that indeed 'tonight is the night'! Sometimes intuition is an amazing thing.

Good luck with your inseminations this week!

As Carmen suggested, try the OPKs at a different time of day and see if your wife gets a more consistent result. Most people use them first thing in the morning, but you have to take into account that that's probably around 8 hours worth of collected hormones and whatnot, so might not be very accurate. My wife uses hers at lunchtime.  I think you need to wait at least 3 hours after urinating, so sometimes that's a pain for her as she drinks a lot of tea in the mornings... I'll get a text around 10 saying 'I need to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Damn this baby making mallarky!' 

I also read somewhere that hormones build in the early morning, but can't remember where.

Do you guys chart/ watch for other signs of ovulation? (cervical mucus, cervical position/ opening, etc)

I'm guessing you've read Stephanie Brill's book?



rs11 - your MIL sounds amazing! The 'sale baby' made me laugh.

I'm glad she's so supportive.  That's so wonderful to have.


tineydreams - wow, what a crazy and amazing day you guys had on Friday! It's so special to be able to witness those events in the lives of people close to us, isn't it?

In my grandparents generation births and deaths and illness and all that real-life stuff was shared with the people closest to you- family and friends. Now those important events are done in private, in hospitals and institutions and only shared with medical personell - strangers, really.

We rarely get to experience those important life stages with each other anymore.


post #72 of 210
Quickie post from my DP's iPhone...I got another bfp this morning on a frer if you can believe it. I'm s
afraid to get too excited but we'll see. I will test again in the morning to see if it's still positive and I have an appointment with RE on Wednesday so we'll see what my hcg is. I'll continue with the prog. as long as the tests are still positive.

Wish me luck...I'll need it.
post #73 of 210
Thread Starter 

Carmen!  That's amazing!  I know you're hesitant, and I know we'll all be waiting with you to breathe a sigh of relief.  But congratulations!!!  Here's just a few little guys who made an escape: 


post #74 of 210
Carmen--dropping in to send you sticky vibes!
post #75 of 210

Carmen - FX for a sticky bean for you!  Keep us posted on your beta results.

post #76 of 210
Yea Carmen!!!! joy.gif
post #77 of 210
Carmen, yay! FX for a sticky bean! fingersx.gif

to all: anyone using Internet Cheapie OPKs? I have 21 individually wrapped IC OPKs that expire 1/2012... I know that is verysoon, but I'd hate to waste them if someone could use them. PM me your addy and I will send them out this week. Since they expire soon, I could split them up if more than one person wants them... "first come, first serve" (cross posting on another forum)
post #78 of 210
Carmen--so happy about the BFPs! Hoping for a sticky one and you to join us over on Q&P very soon! smile.gifjoy.gif
post #79 of 210

YAY CARMEN!!!!!!!  


Hi everyone else...


To answer your question Desert... The weather is not much of a change.. it is a little cooler here than in Az at this time of the year.... I also really loooove your painting.. My DP paints too.. it is her release.. i wish she would do it more.. and I wish I had some kind of artistic ability.. I take the pictures.. she can paint them :)  FX for your DP this is her month!!!!! 


RS.. what a nice MIL.. and funny story!!


NORES.. I am so hopeful for you and DP .. the clinic will take you.. You are in my thoughts.. please keep us updated when you find out more~



AFM.. starting to prometrium to bring on AF.. nope still has not come... I am supposed to POAS again... but at this point.. really? LOL... But if all goes well.. we will insem the 1st week of January.......


I have been getting my newborn baby fix.. been spending 3-4 hours a week with a set of b/g twins who are just 2 months old.. I have been volunteering my time once a week ( more if I can swing it) since they were 3 weeks old.. I really enjoy them .. been practicing my baby wearing and getting in lots of snuggles and a plus.. they have been modeling for me as I learn to take younger baby photos :) Ill leave you with a pic of my new little friends Simon and Hazel :)





post #80 of 210

ooh carmen, how exciting!!  fx for a very sticky bean!!!! :)



New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Queer Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Queer Parenting › Queer Conceptions - December 2011