Online support for mother daughter iss - Page 2

[andromedajulie]

OP, you are too hard on yourself! the car story is AWESOME!!! hilarious! I have 9 yo and YES!!!!!! it's like that!!!! I think more mama humor will help me! 

no actual suggestions, just stop blaming yourself. we love them but they are annoying. on the other hand, i do think their lives are hard, and for the first time it's more hard than fun and i suspect they don't know what to do with this, and are thinking life is just going to get worse, and never better.

I find it disturbing that the car incident is considered inappropriate/non-GD. you were sitting right there. you juxtaposed the situation to shake up her perspective. you did not humiliate her. you did not terrify her. you did not endanger or abandon her. 

[allthesekids]

I agree you are being hard on yourself. It sounds to me like you are doing a fantastic job. I would focus on not allowing the negativity to affect my mood and attitude, as much as possible. I would also pull back on special privileges and treats if they are not being appreciated.

[pigpokey]

Originally Posted by mtiger 

I do think putting her out of the car crossed a line. I was fine when you pulled over - I would have. And then sat there until she figured it out and apologized. But lock her out of the car? No. IMO.

Obviously she didn't leave her locked out.  It was a dramatisation of the "privilege" not "right" nature of her ride to her activity that I feel has artistic merit and stirred a truth somewhere deep in my own soul.  So  I wouldn't agree with the above quote. 

[MsBirdie]

OMG  I can sure relate.  Sometimes I would be tempted to drive off (Not really, but you know)   I have a 9 year old DD as well. 

I am so tired of the negativety, manipulation, and moodiness I am ready to scream.  Just today DH and I were joking that we wish we were back to changing diapers and waking up every two hours, that was easy : )

We did find out our DD has anxiety issues so we are working with someone to help us learn how to help her with coping skills.  Sometimes I feel like me staying at home and giving her so much attention has just spoiled her. 

One minute she hates life, the next minute she is laughing and begging to go to a friends house.  My mom tells me it is just the hormones and her taking anger out from mean girl dynamics from school.  She assures me that by 14, she will be heading back to normal.  I can only hope. 

DD really is an amazing girl.  But, I do get scared sometimes that the negativety will last and will follow her into adulthood. 

hugs to you.  There needs to be a "tween" girl support thread. 

[kpax]

Originally Posted by ecomama2two 

My 9 year old is going through a stage that I would prefer she just rush through but this particular phase is lingering. It is the: "This sucks" "Life is unfair" "My Popsicle is too cold...."

I went through this phase as a teenager.

First off, you can't "beat" positivity into someone nor can you nag them about it.

I think what she needs is an outlet, a creative outlet; a way to express herself whether it be via poetry, writing, drawing, painting, art, etc. That way, it's not directed at the family as much.

My phase ended and I'm now a positive, happy adult.