Need some Advice/Help

[rachelll]

My boyfriend has had sole physical custody of his two children for the past four years. Up until last October everything was fine, they had their own agreement on when she would get the kids, so and so forth. Then she applied for Joint custody and it was granted in July. The courts agreed she would get tues/thur afternoons for three hours and the first three weekends of every month. Now, just the other day, she asked if it were possible if she could have the kids every other weekend instead of the first three (ultimately giving up the extra weekend- the extra time she fought so hard for).. she originally had tues/thurs afternoons for a couple hours and every other weekend. I advised my boyfriend to not so it and take her back to court but seeing that we dont have the money for that right now, i advised him to get a written agreement signed by her so it doesnt come back to bite im in the butt. Any suggestions on where to begin with his agreement. I'm not sure what to write. Or does anyone have any advice they could give me on the matter (that would help me in writting this agreement)?? Any help would be tremendously appreciated..... help please?!!!!!

[rubelin]

If it were me, I wouldn't make a whole new plan just yet. Instead, I would have him email her just before each weekend that she would normally have them and double check that she wants to take them. Print out her responses, noting that she is refusing her 2nd weekend and just do this for a few months until you have a paper trail showing that she is the one who has set the new precedent.

Once you feel that the new way is working for everyone (giving her some time to change her mind) and you do want to set up an official new agreement, just copy the wording from the official court papers, changing the schedule to the new one, and have everyone sign it in front of a notary.

[zebra15]

You dont say how old the kids are so I don't know if there are school schedules in here or not.  I would have an adult conversation about the matter.  It could be something as simple as mom now has a second job that requires her to work staggered weekends.  By having a discussion dad and mom might be able to switch days somewhere else so the time essentially stays the same yet every ones schedule is accommodated.

Are the kids old enough to have a say in the matter as well?  Maybe mom is getting push back from the kids that 3 weekends away from 'home' and friends, is just too much.

I really would try to let mom and dad have a conversation to figure out what's going on and how best to make things happen for the kids.