dealing with fears/worries about health of baby

[catinthehat]

I am about 37 weeks pregnant with my third child.  I have been having a LOT of fear and anxiety about the health of the baby.  I have had a very easy pregnancy, no health problems whatsoever, but my belly is very small.  I don't feel very pregnant at this point, and it freaks me out.  I have gained about 27 pounds though, and the doctor is not worried.  Although when I measure myself I am measuring like 32-33 weeks. 

It gets to me when EVERYONE I see comments, "Oh my god, you are so little!".  I start feeling like there is something wrong with me or the baby.  :(

So I am having all these fears like-

When I painted the bathroom in early pregnancy and breathed in all those oil based paint fumes, it hurt the baby. 

or

When I washed the dog 5 days after putting frontline on her, I exposed myself to insecticide and it hurt the baby. 

or

etc. etc. etc.

Just need to know if you all think I should be worried, or just chill out.  And how do I do that!?!?

Anyone else have a lot of fears about the health of their baby?

[Vermillion]

First of all, is your doctor measuring you too? If you are truly measuring that far behind, I'd be asking for an ultrasound to check on growth.

Beyond that concern, I think this is sooooo common during pregnancy! I have weekly ultrasounds and NSTs due to pre-e and even after every reassuring test I still worry like crazy about him! I've struggled with worry this whole pregnancy because of my previous loss. It's tough. I've just had to take every day at a time and hope for the best, focus on good thoughts and just really bond with the baby and enjoy every little moment with him.

I'd be impressed to find a pregnant woman who never worried about this or that. It is in our nature I think!

Much peace to you mama, we're almost there!!!

[cristeen]

My first thought was how firm your dates are?  Second thought is how tall are you, since tall or long-torsoed mamas tend to carry differently.  How did you measure with your previous 2?  Is your OB measuring your fundal height?  It can be easy to get it wrong when you're doing it yourself, and I know a lot of MDs don't do it anymore, relying on U/S.  Speaking of U/S have you had one to check growth?  Are you doing kick counts or tracking movement at all? 

On it's own, without more information, measurements you're doing yourself being off wouldn't overly concern me.  But have you discussed your concerns with your doctor? 

A certain number of fears are to be expected, it's just the way of things.  But the fact is that at 37 weeks, the best thing you can do is let your doctor know you're concerned and do your best to find peace.  Meditate, take long walks in nature, whatever it is that helps you relax and find peace.  Because increased stress levels do nothing good for you or baby. 

[catinthehat]

Thank you both for the replies. 

In response to your questions...  I would be really surprised if my due date is off.  I had an ultrasound at 20 something weeks and everything apparently looked good and due date seemed accurate.  I am 5 foot 7 inches, and thin.  With my other two children I weighed 165 by the end of it.  Right now I weigh 152 and I don't think I will get above 155.  So I haven't gained as much weight this time.  I gained 35 pounds with first two, and 27 so far this time.  My doctor has been measuring me too, and she said I am measuring small, but she doesn't seem worried about it at all.  I told her yesterday that I just feel so small, and asked her to feel the baby.  She said she thought it was about 5 and a half pounds.  My other two babies were around 7 pounds at birth. 

I don't want an ultrasound.  I just don't feel very comfortable with the process.  So I guess I am left relying on my doctors opinion by feel. 

You guys are right, that it does help to try to talk to the baby and feel reassurance that way. 

I am just ready to hold baby in my arms and know everything is okay.  But I wish I could enjoy these last few weeks more.  

[aeterna]

I'm curious as to why you aren't comfortable with an ultrasound? It's painless and non-invasive (at 20 weeks did they do a transvaginal u/s for you? because they wouldn't now), and they'd be able to get some (more)(kinda) precise measurements on baby (more than just palpation, anyway) to determine if s/he is on target for growth... they'd also be able to tell you if you have enough amniotic fluid (could also be why you're measuring small) or if baby is just hiding in your pelvis (and thus not poking out like a big ol' preggo belly).

If you're measuring very small now (and more than 2 weeks behind is pretty small) and you measured normally with your first 2, or you were measuring normally up until a few weeks ago, I'd definitely want some double-checking just to make sure things are okay.

But I wouldn't worry about the kinds of things you've listed - we've all been exposed to random stuff and babies will be fine. It's unlikely that it's something you did, but I'd still want to get checked to make sure everything is working the way it should! =)

[cristeen]

Originally Posted by aeterna 

I'm curious as to why you aren't comfortable with an ultrasound? It's painless and non-invasive (at 20 weeks did they do a transvaginal u/s for you? because they wouldn't now), and they'd be able to get some (more)(kinda) precise measurements on baby (more than just palpation, anyway) to determine if s/he is on target for growth... they'd also be able to tell you if you have enough amniotic fluid (could also be why you're measuring small) or if baby is just hiding in your pelvis (and thus not poking out like a big ol' preggo belly).

Lots of people around here aren't comfortable with u/s.  I wouldn't have one if we didn't have a history of congenital defects.

And measurement via u/s is not very reliable at all.  There is nothing measurement-wise that an u/s can "determine" (estimate) that couldn't also be "determined" (estimated) by an experienced practitioner getting hands-on. 

[catinthehat]

Thanks Aeterna for the reassurance about the worries I have.  When you start going back through your brain about all the things you did or didn't do  quite right, it is scary.  I also tend to research things a lot, and it can be comforting at times to know what is going on, but it can also be quite scary when you learn something after it is too late. 

The ultrasound is another thing I worry about b/c when I had my ultrasound during this pregnancy, the tech took a full hour to do it.  By the end I was freaking out in my head about how long it was, but of course I didn't speak up during the u/s.  The baby didn't move much for a few days after the ultrasound, and it really scared me.  It was one of those times when my intuition was screaming at me to do something, and I didn't listen. 

Aeterna, if you research u/s there are some mixed studies out there.  Worth looking in to. 

Trying to eat more meat and milk... going to take a long walk tomorrow and hope that will help me feel better...

[adorabelle]

I am 31 weeks pregnant, and doing the same thing.  I worry because I know I've eaten GMO corn and soy and I worry about the effect of that on the baby.  I burned leaves last weekend and worry that I did something to the baby because I probably inhaled smoke. 

The other day my mom told me about this study that talks about how bad using laptops on your lap is for men's fertility and affects their sperm count and DNA, and of course I worried about the effect that has on my baby, because I've done that this whole pregnancy!! 

I think worrying is normal because you care about the baby.  Sometimes I tell myself that tons of people smoked/drank while pregnant, ate McDonald's every day, etc, and their kids turned out ok.  I mean, it's not ideal to do those things, but as careful as we've been, we should be fine.

Try to relax a little. I know it is so hard! If you need to talk, feel free to PM me! 

[Mizelenius]

Originally Posted by catinthehat 

I am about 37 weeks pregnant with my third child.  I have been having a LOT of fear and anxiety about the health of the baby.  I have had a very easy pregnancy, no health problems whatsoever, but my belly is very small.  I don't feel very pregnant at this point, and it freaks me out.  I have gained about 27 pounds though, and the doctor is not worried.  Although when I measure myself I am measuring like 32-33 weeks. 

What are you measuring when your doctor measures you?

I'm am about where you are--- I am almost 37 weeks, and have gained about 21 lbs.  I'm normally between 100-103 and short.  People also comment that I am small but I am measuring right.  However, I do not feel small.  Not huge, but not small.

I think worry is very normal.  Does not mean there is a problem!  I remember with my 1st, I was so anxious for her to be born because then I'd "stop worrying." HAHAHAHAHA.  We will worry forever!

Oh, one more thing.  With my 1st, I was measuring a little behind toward the end.  The OB said it might be because I was starting to dilate/baby descending.  I was (though not much).  Could that be the case for you?  I don't even know if what the OB said was valid, but something to keep in mind.

[catinthehat]

Thanks ladies,

It is just helpful to know I am not the only one out there who is feeling this way.  And really, there are people who have many more things to worry about, and I should feel grateful to have as few problems as I do.  Easier said than done. 

I don't believe I am dilating yet, the doctor checked me a few days ago.  So maybe just a small baby carrier.  I dunno. 

I wish other women would keep their comments to themselves about the size of pregnant women's belly's.  I have heard from other women too about how they constantly heard comments like, "Oh my god you are huge!", or "Do you have a basketball in there or something!". 

I think it can be really detrimental to an already sensitive pregnant woman's emotional health to be constantly judged about her body; whether it is large or small.

Tangent!

Adorabelle, I am sorry your mom told you that.  That is just the kind of stuff I am talking about too.  Our society is very safe in some ways, but really scary in others that you just don't always think about. 

[aeterna]

Originally Posted by cristeen 

Lots of people around here aren't comfortable with u/s. 

Yeah, I know that some people around here are uncomfortable with u/s, I just really do not understand WHY. I mean, as far as the list of potential tests or procedures to put a pregnant woman through, it just really seems to be the least offensive possible intervention. No samples, noninvasive, not painful, not restrictive, not dangerous, no artificial manipulation of body chemistry... I've perused the list of potential objections (as commonly identified on this forum) and I just don't see where it fits in.

If the objection is to having any sort of professional intervention during pregnancy due to a belief in completely natural/unassisted pregnancy/childbirth, well, then it's a moot discussion and I shall return to reassurance that the OP's stated concerns are unlikely to be causal for any potential pregnancy issues. =)

[cristeen]

Originally Posted by aeterna 

Yeah, I know that some people around here are uncomfortable with u/s, I just really do not understand WHY. I mean, as far as the list of potential tests or procedures to put a pregnant woman through, it just really seems to be the least offensive possible intervention. No samples, noninvasive, not painful, not restrictive, not dangerous, no artificial manipulation of body chemistry... I've perused the list of potential objections (as commonly identified on this forum) and I just don't see where it fits in.

Well, as far as potential tests or procedures, I'd far rather submit to a blood draw from my arm, which I have experience with, know is going to hurt a little bit, might bruise, but the risks are pretty low as far as permanent damage is concerned.  With u/s, the risks are truly unknown.  "No proof of harm" is not the same as "proof of no harm".  We know that it is virtually untested, that it was put into practice on women after being developed to study metal fatigue, we know that it has the potential to cause harm, and we truly have no idea what damage it does - since no long term studies have been done.  It definitely has the potential to do harm.  And that potentiality is what many mamas object to.  Why risk that potentiality if you don't need to?  What information are you going to get from the test, and what are you going to do with that information?  It's a risk/benefit analysis, and in the long term every woman/family has to make that determination for itself.  However, I'll say that because it is a socially expected (accepted) practice, most women never know about the risk side, and never know that they have the option to decline.  It's just part of what is done during pregnancy.  But if you've ever had a baby inside you react negatively to the u/s, you know that they are in fact being impacted by it in some way - it's not a passive test. 

Add into the above the fact that many machines are improperly maintained/calibrated, and there is no knowing what strength/dosage is being used, that many "techs" are not properly trained on the proper usage of the equipment, and that can cause a fair bit of concern for a mama.  And if that mama would never act on the information received, why have the test and deal with that concern. 

I always recommend a woman think about what she wants to learn from the u/s, what she is going to do with that information, and then do the risk/benefit analysis.  In the case of the OP, if I personally were feeling concern, I might ask for a scan.  But the fact is that I'm not the OP, she's the one that has to determine if her concerns are worth that to her.

Hopefully that answered your question. 

[aeterna]

Originally Posted by cristeen 

Hopefully that answered your question. 

It did, thank you. =)

[NicoleT]

You can discuss your concerns with your healthcare practitioner to receive healthy professional advice.  To address the fears, I would recommend flower essences.  They are highly effective, non-toxic herbal preparations that address core issues of wellness, especially emotions. The essences are used internally or topically to balance everyone, including maternity and pediatrics, emotional health.  You may find this option supportive.  Consult with a flower essence practitioner for proper usage.

All best,

Nicole