December 2011 Whatever Ladies Having Babies ~ We are down to one!

[MarineWife]

Member List:

lyeterae ~ Baby boy born February 2011
annie ~ Baby girl born April 7, 2011
Barefootscientist ~ Baby boy born May 30, 2011
AnnieA (due 7/18) ~ Baby girl born July 17, 2011
MarineWife (due 7/30) ~ Baby boy born July 25, 2011
Baby_Cakes (due 8/16) ~ Baby boy born August 16, 2011
MovingMomma (due 8/9) ~ Baby girl born August 18, 2011
akind1 (due 9/28) ~ Baby girl born October 11, 2011
mom2one (due 10/23) ~ Baby boy born October 21, 2011
jeninejessica (due 12/10 ~ Baby girl born November 29, 2011


Kindermama ~ 1/6



Here is last month's thread:

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1334765/november-2011-whatever-ladies-havin-babies
Edited by MarineWife - 12/1/11 at 1:08pm

[MarineWife]

That was me last week, mw. I had insomnia something horrible! I would sit awake from 4 on, while DS slept soundly and it made me so mad!!! I was so tired but couldn't sleep. Maybe its somehow hormone related? My moods just got worse too. I started taking my placenta caps again.

Ladies, the cosleeper is working out phenomenally!!! We had another fantastic night. DH relegated himself to the couch tho, which makes me a little cautious. I. dont want him to feel like he was kicked out. Tho, i spent 3.5 months on that couch so i have little sympathy. He says he still has a little bit of a cold and wants all the unbroken sleep he can get. Ok then.

It is infuriating, isn't it? The one time I had the opportunity to sleep I couldn't. Maybe it is hormone related. I vaguely remember having certain times in my cycle when I had a hard time sleeping. I do remember at certain times I would have to get up and use the bathroom more often.

Sean has been sleeping by himself in the boys' room. It's not because we've been fighting. He snores so loudly and was keeping me awake. I'd finally get D to sleep and start to doze off and he'd start snoring and wake me up. I'd have to get up and kick him or shake him and tell him to roll over. That would wake me up all the way and sometimes wake D back up so I wasn't getting sleep then, either. He's going to have to do something about that before we can sleep in the same room again regardless of where the kids are sleeping.

[akind1]

MW: Norah was born 10/11/11 - so you were close!

In our old house it was sleep in the bed or bust; we didn't have a couch! just glider chairs. Now though, I find myself dozing on the couch towards bedtime. I hate living in a 2 story house.

hope everyone gets more sleep! DH was woken at 3  by DS and thereafter couldn't go back to sleep.(DS did, thankfully)

And of course!  - congrats JJ on your squishy one! I'm sure Tenley - all 8 lbs, 22 inches of her - is adorable! care to share pics? glad the labor wasn't very long, although you pushed for a long time!

In today's news: I can nurse in the baby k'tan! I never figured it out with DS (partly because I didn't have to, and also I didn't wear him as much) DD is such a piggy she didn't mind at all the new positioning, she was just happy to be able to eat. Though I can only nurse if I have a top opening sort of shirt. I can't do my usual t-shirt up, cami down thing. but hooray!

Carrie, do you nurse in the Boba? it's what I'll use once DD can froggy leg better. she tries to just stand up in the thing, and that doesn't work at all!

[MarineWife]

yay for nursing in a carrier.

I would prefer to have a one story house, too. I hate having to go up and down stairs for things, especially with a baby.

[Kindermama]

I love nursing in a carrier! No one ever knows when you are walking around shopping! LOL

Hey....I just realized I'm the last one you were talking about MW! I'm so close guys! So close! What's going to happen to this thread when my baby comes? Will we just become a social group then?

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by Kindermama 

I love nursing in a carrier! No one ever knows when you are walking around shopping! LOL

Hey....I just realized I'm the last one you were talking about MW! I'm so close guys! So close! What's going to happen to this thread when my baby comes? Will we just become a social group then?

I think we're just going to move to LWAB.  I don't like the social group idea.  My DDC is one and it's great but here, we've always just chatted about everything in one thread anyways, right?

You're soooo close, Kinder!  How are you feeling?  Ready!?

JJ - hope you're enjoying Tenley and that all is going well with bf'ing!!  

Yay for nursing in a carrier!! You know, I haven't tried nursing Finn in the boba.  Just b/c you asked, I'll try today.  I was just posting in my DDC that he has started going so long b/w feedings and my errands aren't usually more than an hour, so I've actually *never* fed him out and about.   Usually he goes at least 3 hours, sometimes 4 or 5.  I was in complete denial and thinking he was still like a week old, and feeding him every 2 hours or so, until one day I realized, hey, it's been 4 hours and he's not fussing or anything.  Maybe I need to watch him and not the clock.  Not like he's strugging to gain weight, lol.  So, now I just wait for hunger cues.  It's crazy.  

Anyone else completely forget sometimes that our babies don't eat solid food yet?  So many times I have stopped myself before giving him a taste of something.  Yesterday I peeled a banana and broke off a piece to give to DD and there was a split second where I thought, "would he like this?" -- even though there's no reason for him to be having a banana!! it's as though I forget how little he is!  What's up with that?  I think it's b/c he looks 6 months old.

So.  Big news.  We found a preschool for DD!!   We toured another one yesterday.  It's a little pricier than the other one, but this one is smaller overall, class size is smaller, they have cameras in every room so anytime I want I can go online and watch her.  I mentioned she doesn't nap anymore, and they said that's fine, when the other kids nap she can help organize the toys, help wipe down tables, or play/read quietly on her own.  They assist with the potty as much as needed.  They have a class pet (!!) which she was so excited about.  (It's just a fish for the 3 year olds but the 4 year olds have a hamster. )  Best of all, the way they handle discipline is right up our alley - positive discipline and redirection, with time out being the last resort -- and it's with the teacher for 1:1 time, not punishment (or being sent to the "principal".  I thought she was way too young for that when the other school mentioned that in their tour.)  Oh -- and it's 3 days a week in the afternoon, from 230-630.  Peak nap time!!  Woo hoo!!  I'll be able to run an errand or two, or just clean the house, DS can nap, I might even be able to start dinner!!  So, we are going to go forward with that, I'm pretty sure.  It's hard for me, but she is just so excited and so happy, and it feels right for where we are right now.  

[annie2186]

So - my computer seems to be working. I am going to try not to use it to much until I get all the pics off, or uploaded to a web based.........something! LOL

I have never really been able to nurse in the carrier. However, it might have a lot to do with DD's personality. She is soooo not a nurser! The only time I can really get her to eat is when we are upstairs in my bed

Carrie - that is great about the preschool! I bet she is going to love it. I remember taking K to kindergarten for three hours a day five days a week was really really hard. It always interrupted J's naptime and ugh! Not to mention that three hours goes by really fast!!! I couldn't watch your video because I think it isn't mac compatible? I tried it on my iphone and it didn't work. Maybe it will work on my macbook though............

M had a little fever last night after I got home from work. So, I am pretty exhausted and a zombie like today. I had to sleep downstairs on the couch with her and have the baby monitor on. So, back and forth all night sucked. I don't know how people do that.........no wonder they are so tired! I don't do a family bed by any means (just cause it doesn't work for me)  and I am totally for baby hanging out with me until night waking is almost non-existent.

Anyways - TGIF!!!

[MarineWife]

Carrie ~ That preschool sounds great for you guys. I hope it works out.

Kinder ~ Yes, I was talking about you!

After all of my worry about trying to figure out how to nurse in my various carriers during grocery shopping and such, I have not ever had to do it. Dylan has always gone long enough between feedings that, if I time it right, I can get my shopping done before he needs to nurse. If I'm running multiple errands that take several hours (which has rarely happened), I just find a place to sit and nurse him at some point.

One reason I don't wear him at home much is because I find it a pain to nurse him in the carrier and it's just extra work taking him in and out to nurse. He nurses a lot more often at home than when we are out. Have you all found that to be the case with your babes?

I thought about giving D a taste of my dinner last night. He's only 4 months but he has teeth and it sure seems like he's been eyeballing our food and drinks lately. I refrained because he still can't quite sit up on his own, which is the other major solid food milestone. Oh, and I want him to have the pincer grasp down.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

One reason I don't wear him at home much is because I find it a pain to nurse him in the carrier and it's just extra work taking him in and out to nurse. He nurses a lot more often at home than when we are out. Have you all found that to be the case with your babes?

I thought about giving D a taste of my dinner last night. He's only 4 months but he has teeth and it sure seems like he's been eyeballing our food and drinks lately. I refrained because he still can't quite sit up on his own, which is the other major solid food milestone. Oh, and I want him to have the pincer grasp down.

Yes!  Definitely.

And I think him having those teeth is awesome and nuts at the same time!!  LOL!  Yeah - we'll wait with this guy like we did with DD.  I want all the solid food milestones to be met.  You do BLW, too, right?  I've never made a puree (for a baby) and am not about to start now.  LOL!  Finn has no interest.  I do wonder if he'll show interest sooner than DD or later.  Who knows?

[MarineWife]

BLW is baby-led weaning? If so, I guess, sort of. I did eventually wean both Ethan and Kellen but Ethan was only 3 months shy of 3 years old and Kellen was just a tad over 3 years old. So, I guess my answer would be that I don't wean babies. I didn't have plans to wean Ethan or Kellen, either. I got pregnant with Kellen and nursing got so painful that I had to wean Ethan. I was very sad about it because I was looking forward to tandem nursing. I weaned Kellen at 3 because I wanted to have another baby and kept miscarrying, as you all know. I figured stopping nursing would mean one less thing that could interfere with another pregnancy and Kellen was old enough that I was ok with it.

I think I inadvertently weaned Ryan. He abruptly stopped nursing at about 13 months. I remember being surprised and saddened about that. I think, though, that following the recommended plan for feeding a baby solid foods caused the early weaning. I didn't start him on solids until he was 6 months old but then I fed him 3 jarred baby food meals a day and those zwiebeck crackers for snacks. I fed him the solids and offered drinks in cups before nursing. I wasn't meaning to wean him. I was just following the "expert" recommendations without realizing what the effect would be.

With Ethan and Kellen I skipped jarred baby food and never did any purees. I fed them whatever regular food we had that they could eat. The thing is that if you wait until .hey are physically and developmentally ready for solids, you don't have to do anything special, except maybe skip the spices and sauces and such. One of Ethan's first solid foods was chicken. I just scraped off crossways so it shredded. Ethan didn't really get into eating solids much until he was 15 months old but Kellen dove in and was eating a lot right away.

I was surprised when the pediatrician we saw when D was 2 months said to delay solid foods until 4-6 months. I was like, "Delay?! That's early to me."

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

With Ethan and Kellen I skipped jarred baby food and never did any purees. I fed them whatever regular food we had that they could eat. The thing is that if you wait until .hey are physically and developmentally ready for solids, you don't have to do anything special, except maybe skip the spices and sauces and such. One of Ethan's first solid foods was chicken. I just scraped off crossways so it shredded. Ethan didn't really get into eating solids much until he was 15 months old but Kellen dove in and was eating a lot right away.

This is baby led weaning.  When you don't do purees or meals, just let them grab and play with solids.  The motto is "before 1, just for fun".  As for child led weaning (which is what you're talking about in the first part of your post) that's different.  That's letting the child decide (at whatever age) that they are done nursing.  Could be 3, 4, years old.  I don't do CLW, but I do do the BLW, b/c I intend to nurse beyond infancy.  Totally different things.  As you guys know, I pushed Nora to wean at just over 2 b/c we weren't getting pg.  The cycle I weaned her, I got pg.  I'll never know if that was "why" I wasn't getting pg, but I have a strong feeling it was.  My body wasn't going to support both a nursling and a new pregnancy, I don't think.

I think what happened with Ryan is what happens to most people b/c that's what ped's recommend.  Also, most people wean their babies (breast or formula) at age 1.  I can't get my head around that, unless you have to/want to to get pg or if you're working or something.  I look back at DD's pics from her 1st bday and of course, she's a big girl, but still so little!!  

[MarineWife]

Yeah, I think BLW and CLW are the same thing on a continuum. If you consciously do BLW, do you purposefully wean after a certain age (2 years maybe) regardless of circumstance if the baby doesn't wean himself? Or would you continue to nurse and then let it become CLW?

I had no plans one way or the other. I just wanted to keep nursing as long as it would last. I didn't have any preconceived ideas about getting to at least a minimum or maximum age. I guess I don't worry about nursing for a minimum because I had made it over a year with my first so there was no reason to think I couldn't do that again and more. And, of course, by doing that and following the baby/child, I didn't have to worry about weaning too soon.

I think the whole idea of getting baby on lots of solids asap goes back to the idea that breastmilk is inferior. It seems that a lot of people (without even realizing it) think breastmilk is just something to tide baby over until s/he gets old enough to tolerate solid foods. Then breastmilk is more of an addition rather than being seen as the primary source of food and nutrition.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

Yeah, I think BLW and CLW are the same thing on a continuum. If you consciously do BLW, do you purposefully wean after a certain age (2 years maybe) regardless of circumstance if the baby doesn't wean himself? Or would you continue to nurse and then let it become CLW?

I think a mama could do either.  I think doing BLW is being done more now that mamas are realizing that purees and cereal = much more work, whereas simply nursing and letting babies play until they are read = easier and better for baby (b/c they bf longer).  I'm interested to see how long Finn will nurse for.  I won't make much of an effort to wean unless a time comes when it isn't working for either or both of us.  I will most likely nudge him to be done before 3 though.  That is my personal preference.  But again, who knows?  I may change my mind, and I'm open to that.
 

[AnnieA]

MW, I prefer the other term for BLW which is baby-led solids. To me, that speaks more to what BLW is about which is letting the baby set the pace for solids. In my opinion, it has nothing to do with the nursing relationship but strictly with how a baby approaches solid food. One website that I found stresses that the only person to put solid food in baby's mouth is baby. That way they can control the amount and size and hopefully reduce choking risks.

I plan on doing baby-led solids with DD. As far as breastmilk goes, I will pump as long as I'm still producing and she's drinking it. I'm not putting an end date on it.

[Baby_Cakes]

Oh I like calling it baby-led solids, too!  

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

Oh I like calling it baby-led solids, too!  

I like that, too, and it makes more sense to me. Because when you do that, it's not about weaning the baby but rather letting the baby become acquainted with solids. That's much different from the feeding X ounces of this and that jarred baby food every 3-4 hours nonsense that I followed with Ryan.

On that note, D seemed to really want the pretzels I was eating earlier. I was holding him and he stared at them and even leaned toward him and shot his hand out. I guess maybe it's time to give him a spoon to handle and mouth.

[annie2186]

Solid food is something I am feeling a little guilty about with A. 

At 5.5 months I noticed that she was just really really into solids. Like MW's DS, she would literally fall over looking at me eating and following the foods with her eyes and reaching. So, I gave her some of that crappy cereal with breastmilk (since I had such a hard time getting her to nurse!!) 

OMG - she loooooooooved it! From that point on it has been food, food food. There is nothing she doesn't like. Yucky baby food on days when I just can't figure out enough "normal" food for her to eat, ALL kids of table food. I mean, basically she will eat anything. I have figured out no combo or anything she doesn't like 

I felt really guilty about giving her pureed foods - but I really did follow her cues. M never ate baby food and really didn't start eating at all until about 1ish. It's hard being a momma! 

I still follow her cues. There are some days she really only drinks BM and some days she WONT nurse (I mean literally turning away and screaming at my boob!! ) and she really wants to eat food. 

So........ it's hard to know what to do sometimes. 

[AnnieA]

I'm going to try to hold off giving DD solids until she can sit up unassisted and has the pincer grasp down. But she's very interested in what I am eating these days.

[akind1]

With Gabe we just kind of fed him whatever . . . I will say that he seemed to prefer purees/smooth textures, so we did those I did fruits and veggies in jars. I never did rice cereal. Why would you? I did use baby oatmeal (earth's best I think) to thicken some of the fruits.  I never followed any order of things, like by color or something (some people do). even with those, it wasn't every day he got solids really until closer to a year.

Yesterday I had a paci in one hand and dried fruit in the other. I nearly gave DD the dried fruit! I was like, oh crap! so yeah . . .  She is already eyeing our food. I have no doubt she's going to want to eat as soon as she's ready.

BLW/BLS/CLW - I think alot of these just depend on who you ask. for weaning, I really believe the decision to continue or not should be mutual. It is a two way relationship. With DS, since I was pregnant and nursing just plain hurt, I didn't really encourage him very much. between that and how fast my milk dried up, weaning was pretty quick and painless, for both of us. He still touches and wants to look at the boobies sometimes, but doesn't ever try to latch..

I'd like to nurse DD longer than I did DS, we'll see how it goes. I don't think I want to go much beyond 2, but now that I know some people - IRL no less! - that nurse toddlers, I'm becoming a bit more comfortable with the idea.

Back to work on Monday! ugh.

This is nursing in the baby k'tan. I had to put down a strap so I could move her head over to the side (other wise she's be super smooshed into the boob) and support her with one arm, but still better than full on holding her and nursing.

[MarineWife]

Love the pic, Kat.

Annie ~ I recall reading, probably in either The Womanly Are of Breastfeeding or a Dr. Sears book, that when babies seem interested in food but aren't developmentally ready to feed themselves, they are usually just interested in playing with what we have just like any other toy or thing. That's when I give baby a spoon to play with and mouth. That keeps them occupied and maybe satisfies that curiosity about getting something from the table.

I think the adult makes the decision of whether to continue to nurse or not every time, really, since the adult is ultimately in charge. Even if a woman continues to nurse beyond the point that she wants because the child still wants to, it's the woman's choice to allow that. The only way I can see the baby or child making the choice is if that baby or child stops nursing before the mother is ready and refuses even if the mother tries to force it. I don't think I'm explaining that well. My point is that it's virtually impossible to make a truly mutual decision when there's such a huge difference in power, knowledge and experience between an adult and a child. If the child agrees to what the adult wants, it's almost certainly because the adult has influenced that child, not because the child came to the decision completely on his or her own.

Sean is gone. He left for CA very early this morning. I'm both relieved and sad at the same time. I talked to a Chaplain at the base yesterday. There's not much he can do for us since Sean is not here anymore. I was hoping that he would be able to get a Chaplain over there to talk to Sean before he came home again. The best he could do was give me the name of someone he knew but Sean will have to make the initiative to talk to him. When I gave Sean the Chaplain's name he said that couldn't be right because his roommate was the Chaplain. So, I told him it didn't really matter who he talked to as long as he talked to someone. We shall see if that happens.

To give you an idea of how removed Sean is, he didn't say anything at all when I told him that I was going to talk to a Chaplain about us. I'd think he'd have some questions or concerns or maybe even be angry that I was involving his command but he didn't have any reaction at all except, "Oh." Doesn't that seem strange?