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December 2011 Whatever Ladies Having Babies ~ We are down to one! - Page 12

post #221 of 446

Carrie-- Not at all. We need to take more pictures. She's growing up so fast!

 

Can I just say I am soooo sick of people's answers to our problems being that we need to try formula. My mother last night told me I should go see my dr and get her to test my milk because she couldn't breastfeed any of us four children past about 6 weeks because her "milk went sour", and maybe I have that problem too. Then she said in the meantime to keep giving her bottles when possible, and then soon I can start adding formula to them and that will 'help everything'. 

 

WTF. 

 

This is EXACTLY why our breastfeeding rates are so low, is because no one supports breastfeeding mamas these days. Instead of trying to get to the bottom of it, and offer support, they just tell mom formula is the answer to everything, and her breastmilk must be broken. Even my husband has started telling me that there 'must be something wrong with my milk', and he was super super supportive of breastfeeding before this throwing up started. 

 

Seriously though, it's disconcerting to see your child eat and then throw up 2-3oz of breastmilk. I'm considering calling the health nurse back to weight her, just to give me peace of mind.Also going to call the LLL leader and see if we can meet up I think. 

post #222 of 446

OMG. 

 

JJ - hug2.gif  There is nothing wrong with your milk.  NOTHING.  Keep telling yourself and everyone else that.  I agree, keep an eye on her weight b/c w/reflux that is the one thing you do want to watch, but there's NOTHING wrong w/your milk.  

post #223 of 446
Thread Starter 
JJ ~ Hang tough! Those are the old stories that women were told and believed, sadly. It is just not true. Your milk can't go sour. I strongly urge you to get to a LLL meeting. You need that support. Get your dh to go, too, if he will. Sounds like he seriously needs some reinforcement from others that BFing is the best. If you can't get to a meeting soon (like in the next day or two), call a leader on the phone. They will help you. They don't mind. It's their passion.

When are you going to share pics with us?

Carrie ~ Sick babies are a bummer. I hated when D was stuffed up. TG his cold never got too bad.

We just got back from Ethan's choral concert. It was very cute. Ethan appeared to remember most of the words and sang every song. I couldn't get any even halfway decent pics with my phone. greensad.gif Another mom there said she got some so she's going to email them to me. Ethan's group was the first to perform as they are the youngest. As soon as they were done, almost all of us left. It looked like a mass exodus. Too funny.
post #224 of 446

JJ, another thing that I just thought of is that it looks like a lot of milk when they spit up/puke, but if you can easily wipe the amount up with a burp cloth or bib, it's normal.  It's when you would need a towel or multiple towels that it's actually vomit.  The milk mixes with saliva and stomach juices, so it seems like a ton.

 

I used to joke with Finn that I was going to trade him for a baby who wanted my milk.  orngbiggrin.gif  

 

Keep your chin up.  I agree with MW, find some bf'ing support.  You can do this.

post #225 of 446
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

JJ, another thing that I just thought of is that it looks like a lot of milk when they spit up/puke, but if you can easily wipe the amount up with a burp cloth or bib, it's normal.  It's when you would need a towel or multiple towels that it's actually vomit.  The milk mixes with saliva and stomach juices, so it seems like a ton.


yeahthat.gif
post #226 of 446

Thanks ladies. It's frustrating, because I know that at most, it's something I'm eating, not -my milk-, but it's hard when people around you start to give up. The local LLL group only has two meetings per month, and they've both happened already. I'm going to look at how far the next one is, but definitely will be FBing one of the local leaders. DH and I slightly had it out tonight after he made another offhanded comment "to" DD asking what was wrong with my milk. I know he doesn't mean it in a hurtful way, he just doesn't want her to be hurting, but it's so frustrating, and I needed to let him know. 

 

As for amount, it really is quite a bit. Sometimes it's enough to just wipe on a bib, but more often it's enough that by the time we finish wiping it up, it's fairly covered the receiving blanket. I really do think we're talking in terms of 1-2oz per feeding, and almost every feeding. It's more rare for her not to throw up, then it is for her -to- throw up. Sometime it just sits there pooled on top of the blanket, which is when it really sinks in how much it is. It's hard though, because she still doesn't -normally- seem upset by it. She just throws up, and then wants to nurse again to replace what she threw up. But she does seem to be getting chubbier, so I'm just trying to focus on that, and remember to always have an extra blanket with me. lol. 

 

Pump-wise-- I do have a Medela mini-electric too. It just intimidates me still! lol

 

I've been horrible for posting photos. I never seem to catch up with everything. I still haven't even sat down and written, or started, her birth story, and she's almost three weeks old. I'm probably starting to forget things!  At any rate, if you guys want to add me on FB, that's probably the easiest way to see photos- Jenine Brown. I need to take some more and post them though. It's been too long!

 

DH was tlaking about christmas concerts today, and how much he can't wait until she's grown up enough to have hers. We just hope that they still do them by then, since everything is trending so PC, that they have to be so careful nabout what songs they sing and stories they tell already. I could see them eventually just doing away with the concerts all together. 

post #227 of 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

JJ, another thing that I just thought of is that it looks like a lot of milk when they spit up/puke, but if you can easily wipe the amount up with a burp cloth or bib, it's normal.  It's when you would need a towel or multiple towels that it's actually vomit.  The milk mixes with saliva and stomach juices, so it seems like a ton.

 


When DD was still in the hospital the first time, she was spitting up some and I was getting so upset because she needed to take in so many ml per feed in order for them to consider discharging her. I said something to one of the older nurses and she told me that when they are training the new peds nurses, they pour various amounts of water out and have the nurses clean it up and guess how much fluid it was. She said they always overestimate the actual amount. It *looks* like a lot for sure but it just really isn't. I know what you mean about it pooling on the blanket because I said the same thing to the nurse and she still said it looks like a lot more than it really is. If she's gaining weight and able to finish a feed without screaming halfway through, she's fine.

 

Oh and I would tell your DH to BACK OFF! There's nothing wrong with your milk, it's perfect for your DD. Even if switching to formula could possibly fix her spitting issue, you then set her up for all sorts of other issues that are well documented for FF babies like ear infections, increased illnesses, etc. Does he really want to go down that path?

 

post #228 of 446

JJ: are you marked private on FB? I can't find you on the FB app for my phone. maybe I need to try searching from the PC. (or you can add me - Katrina Siron)

 

After hearing all of you deal with spit up and reflux, I am so, so thankful that neither of my babies has done much in that regard. Hope you get in touch with a LLL leader, and soon! our meetings here are just once a month and I have yet to go to one.

 

Maybe you should look into getting a baby scale? I bought one when we were pregnant with DS and I love it! esp since we don't really do WBV, I like being able to keep track myself.

 

and Formula won't solve it. Not if it's a sphincter issue. Maybe some meds, like Finn was on Prevacid? I think (Carrie, correct me if I am wrong) DH's cousin - who this is her 3rd baby in 3 years and all have been FF (she's not even 22 yet) has had her latest on at least 3 different formulas in the last week. I don't really know much about FF, but don't you need to give a few days on a particular formula before you see a difference? or would you notice a difference right away? I am really curious. I know not that much about FF, other than how to mix a bottle, and I hate the smell of formula spit up. I really, really, hate the smell of Nutrimigen, which is the special Enfamil they give babies with serious milk allergies and stuff. the smell oozes out of the babies' pores. One friend described it as eau de wet dog.

 

Breastmilk babies smell so much better! (silly reason I know, but it is true!)

 

MW: congrats on E's concert! glad he enjoyed it.

 

Carrie - really hope all of you feel better. DS only has a little cold, nothing serious, and that alone makes him, and all of us, miserable. I know having both kids super glued to you is no fun, esp when you don't feel great either. DS got sick not long after he weaned and I remember wishing I could nurse him.  (pregnant and nursing was painful, so I didn't actually want to try! LOL but otherwise I wish I could have). So chin up - at least you can nurse Finn through the ickiness, and Nora hopefully will want her daddy  soon!

 

AFU: busy, busy day. two birthday parties. I would have only done one, but I reallly want to go to both, so we are. I wish I could sleep in  - one of the best snatches of sleep Norah and I get is between 5-8 in the morning, but lately I have been getting up at 6 so I can start working (so I can finish early). I went to bed at 10:30 last night, I am just wore out. On the plus side: the next three weeks are 4 day work weeks so I will have days to sleep in! hooray!

 

 

post #229 of 446
Thread Starter 
JJ ~ I'm glad you stood up for yourself to your dh. Sometimes people can say things that are very hurtful without ever realizing it. It's good that you told him how much those kinds of comments hurt you, especially when spoken to your baby as if you are doing something bad to her. Your milk is good and you are doing the right thing. I strongly urge you to stop the bottles of anything all together. I've breastfed 4 babies so I have some experience in this. As long as she is happy, gaining weight and developing normally, it's all ok.

Ethan spit-up like that. Sometimes he even had projectile vomiting. And he wanted to nurse all the time, like every 20 minutes. It always looked like a ton but it never even occurred me to worry about it. He was my chubbiest baby at around 20 lbs. at 4 months!

So, why is it that D squirms and is restless and won't be still for more than 30 minutes all night long, but as soon as K gets up for the day D sleeps for 2 hours? caffix.gif

I forgot to add that I weighed D this morning because he's grown out of all his smalls diapers. He's about 17 lbs., 5 oz. And, I weighed 132.8 with my PJs on, which means I lost more weight because I was 132.8 last time I weighed myself naked. smile.gif
post #230 of 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeninejessica View Post
 DH and I slightly had it out tonight after he made another offhanded comment "to" DD asking what was wrong with my milk. I know he doesn't mean it in a hurtful way, he just doesn't want her to be hurting, but it's so frustrating, and I needed to let him know. 

 

As for amount, it really is quite a bit. Sometimes it's enough to just wipe on a bib, but more often it's enough that by the time we finish wiping it up, it's fairly covered the receiving blanket. I really do think we're talking in terms of 1-2oz per feeding, and almost every feeding. It's more rare for her not to throw up, then it is for her -to- throw up. Sometime it just sits there pooled on top of the blanket, which is when it really sinks in how much it is. It's hard though, because she still doesn't -normally- seem upset by it. She just throws up, and then wants to nurse again to replace what she threw up. But she does seem to be getting chubbier, so I'm just trying to focus on that, and remember to always have an extra blanket with me. lol. 


Oh those comments burn me up too.  Before I tried eliminating soy, DH would drop hints about things and I would go ballistic.  Once he said to me maybe it was the coffee I was drinking and I nearly threw my mug at his head!  I said to him, excuse me, but I'm the one up with him all night (and DD) and I take care of him all day, I cannot do this without some coffee!  Stop blaming my milk!  He just has to outgrow it!

Men.  They just don't understand how a woman feels about breastfeeding her own baby.  It is so much more than just feeding them.  Saying your milk is the problem somehow makes you feel like less of a mother, or less of a woman, or just LESS.  Like YOU aren't good enough.  

 

Just keep nursing.  That's all there is to it.  She's growing, she's happy.  She's not in pain.  You're good to go.  Now -- if she starts stopping mid-nursing and screams, or screams when she pukes, you might want to look into antacids.  But don't put the cart before the horse.  Like I said, the meds did nothing for the amount of spitup.  Finn would spit up in his sleep and it would burn, and he couldn't settle.  It was horrible.  

 

Oh - and as for us - we are getting better!  At his 4 mo WBV, the dr said if we wanted to we could try cutting his dose down to 1X per day instead of twice.  So for the past week he's been on 1X per day and he's doing great!  Still puking, not as much, and no screams.  I'm so happy.  He's outgrowing it!  Finally we are getting there.  

A tip I've picked up though is I always carry him on my hip facing out, so if he does puke, it goes on the floor and not on me.  Much easier to clean up.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post
Even if switching to formula could possibly fix her spitting issue, you then set her up for all sorts of other issues that are well documented for FF babies like ear infections, increased illnesses, etc. Does he really want to go down that path?

 


Exactly.  The benefits to bm are so much greater than possibly not having spit up for a few months.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

 

and Formula won't solve it. Not if it's a sphincter issue. Maybe some meds, like Finn was on Prevacid? I think (Carrie, correct me if I am wrong) DH's cousin - who this is her 3rd baby in 3 years and all have been FF (she's not even 22 yet) has had her latest on at least 3 different formulas in the last week. I don't really know much about FF, but don't you need to give a few days on a particular formula before you see a difference? or would you notice a difference right away? I am really curious. I know not that much about FF, other than how to mix a bottle, and I hate the smell of formula spit up. I really, really, hate the smell of Nutrimigen, which is the special Enfamil they give babies with serious milk allergies and stuff. the smell oozes out of the babies' pores. One friend described it as eau de wet dog.


That's nuts, and yes formula does stink.  DD was on formula for 2 weeks and I cried when her head stopped smelling like baby and started smelling like, well, a daycare.  LOL.  That's so offensive I know.  Sorry if that's out of line.  LOL.

He's on zantac but same difference.

Yes, you def need to try diff formulas, and JJ if you think it might be dairy you'd be best off using a soy based formula.  It's just easy enough though to eliminate dairy from your diet.

 

I forgot that I did that.  Remember when I was pg I was only vegetarian and was still getting milk in my coffee and eating pastries?  Once this reflux thing started I went completely vegan again.  It did help for a little while, I think.  I know that Finn can't tolerate cows milk.  I don't even bother challenging it b/c it isn't worth it to me, but if you did eliminate dairy and it was the problem, you'd see a difference in just a few days.

Soy takes FOREVER to clear your body.  Plus I kept screwing up.  That's why I did it for over 2 months, I really wanted to make sure that was it (and it wasn't).  So.  Worth a shot but if it isn't the reason for the spitting up, then she'll just have to outgrow it.

 

 

Hugs.  If you ever want to talk reflux, JJ you can always PM me.

post #231 of 446
Thread Starter 
haha about smelling like a daycare! I always wondered what caused that universal weird smell in every daycare i've ever been in. i've never smelled formula or a FF baby so i didn't make the association. i was thinking about that smell just the other day when i was looking up info about drop-in daycares around here. it's the only solution i have for those times when i really need a sitter. I remembered that smell from when Ryan used to go to daycare and got nauseous just thinking that I'd have to smell it again. lol.gif

i'm scared to leave my kids anywhere like that, though. Maybe it's because of the thing with Kellen and MRSA but I can't get over my feeling that they are all dirty and yucky and nasty (and I know, rationally, that they aren't). And, it costs so much. Even if I take Dylan with me, it would cost me around $26 just to go to the doctor not including my co-pay.

I've got a BF problem. D keeps biting me! It freakin' hurts! What can I do to prevent that? Any ideas?
post #232 of 446

I removed Gabe from the breast -put him down- said don't bite, suck! I only had to put him down twice. I said don't bite, suck! Before every latch for months. But he didn't have teeth until at least 6 months and not top teeth for a couple months after that.it's the top teeth that started the biting for us. 

post #233 of 446

Thanks girls. 

 

I've been cutting down on dairy the past few days, and I think she's actually throwing up less the second part of yesterday and today so far. I'm going to keep cutting out as much as I can, and see what happens. She's still spitting, but at least it's not the same quantity. 

 

Biting-- ouch! I am NOT looking forward to that at all. Tenley doesn't bite yet obviously, but she's really bad for pulling back really far and really suddenly without unlatching. It feels like someone is slicing my nipple off. Wow. I can't imagine adding teeth into the mix. I've heard that it's a very hard one, because if you cry out or similiar, then sometimes you can scare baby and make him afraid to continue nursing. Then you're dealing with a nursing strike, which is also no fun.

 

Ugh formula smell. That alone is enough for me not to want to use it. 

 

Have any of you read the Baby Whisperer books? A relative brought one over after we were complaining about her not sleeping. We both rolled our eyes at it, but I was flipping through it, and a lot of it actually makes sense and doesn't run contrary to the AP methods we want to use. Some of her things are a bit whacky, but overall it sounds like it might work. We started trying it yesterday (parts anyways), and she actually slept last night... like a normal baby. She went to bed fairly easily, then woke up at 330 and we nursed, then shushed her back to sleep, slept until 630, nursed, changed and shushed back to sleep, and then she had a rough patch around 8, she woke up, and DH tried to shush her for a minute or so, and then gave up, and ended up waking her up instead. By the time we got her settled it was almost  930, so I nursed her again, and we started the routine again, and she slept until 1130, and now she's sleeping still. Anyways... curious if anyone has read it and has any opinions. 

 

We have our first 'big' outing today-- a birthday party for my three year old niece. Wish us luck!

post #234 of 446

Oh I also wanted to add that we decided to deal with one issue at a time, and since the spitup isnt hurting her, we're dealing with the sleep first. That's the most important thing right now because DH and I are both getting moody and beyond overtired. If we want to function, the sleep issue needs to be fixed first. After we've figured this out, we'll look at the puking again.

post #235 of 446

JJ, I went and found a pic of your DD...she's gorgeous! That dark hair, oh I love it! That's what I envisioned my DD would look like but she surprised us all with strawberry blonde hair! So is the main sleep problem that she won't sleep out of arms? The frequent night-waking is unfortunately part of the deal with a little one. I don't expect DD will be sleeping through the night for quite a while. She actually slept from 3:30 AM until 11:15 AM but that was because she was EXHAUSTED from running around so much yesterday and being out at my mom's for Christmas so she didn't really get any significant nap.

 

AFM, ugh, so I don't know if I told you guys or not but when it was time to start DD's vaccines, I was having a big issue with the Prevnar 13 shot. One of my main concerns was that the CDC handout specifically says that it can cause a fever spike and with DD, if she gets a fever above 100.4, we have to get cardiology involved. So I was back and forth on whether I wanted to do it at all. Plus it only protects against 13 of the 94(might be 96) strains of pneumococcus that are out there. In the end, I decided to do it but separate from the other shots she has to get. The first shot went fine. She went and got her second shot on Friday morning. She was great all day but Friday night, she was super fussy and the injection site was hot. She didn't have a fever but I gave her some tylenol after she started crying and I couldn't console her with breastmilk or her pacifier. She would not let me put her down all night. She had to sleep in my arms, she wouldn't even tolerate sleeping next to me in the bed. When she woke up Saturday morning, she had a fever of 101.7. Ugh. So I called cardiology and they asked me to take her to her pedi so they could do a CBC to see if she was fighting an infection or if it was just a vaccine response. So she had to get her finger pricked and her WBC was elevated but within the range that it was a normal vaccine response. She was cranky and out of sorts for the rest of the day. So she's supposed to get 2 more doses and I don't want to give her any more! I will have to discuss with her cardiologist how getting an ear infection or the other things that the Prevnar is supposed to prevent will affect her because of the CHD.

post #236 of 446
Thread Starter 
Annie ~ Those have got to be hard decisions. Wish I had some words to help but since I haven't had any experience, I just don't know.

JJ ~ I've not read that book. I agree with Annie, though, that the nightwaking every couple of hours is normal. Newborns need to wake that often because they need to eat that often. It's normal physiology. I believe trying to get a very young baby to sleep longer could be harmful to them and to breastfeeding. Glad the spitting up seems to be getting better.

I do take D off when he bites. I couldn't not because it hurts so bad. Sometimes I do yell, too, not at him but just a general OUCH! I am afraid of scaring him from nursing because of it. I think he might do it sometimes to try to control my OALD. The other times seem to be when he's not really needing to eat and just playing around. So, I need to pay more attention to when he gets like that.
post #237 of 446

Oh no, I definitely don't expect her to sleep through the night. If the next six months went mostly like last night, that would be wonderful. I expect her to be up at least every four hours. It's nights like the one before when she basically screamed every ten minutes from 9pm until 6am and both DH and I just wanted to leave her in the crib and walk away. I just want to be able to put her to sleep within a 'reasonable' amount of time (ie not two hours), and have her sleep for at least an hour (most of the time, I get that there will be times when she wakes early and just has cat naps), not 15 minutes before she wakes up again. 

 

Annie-- It's a combination of the in-arms, and getting her to sleep for the first night time sleep. No matter what time we start at night, between 8-10ish, it seems like -most- times, that get to sleep period lasts hours before she'll finally calm enough to fall asleep/be put down. Or, we find that she'll fall asleep, but not into a deep sleep, so we can't put her down so that we can sleep as well-- or at really bad times, even if we decide to let her sleep in our arms, she still won't calm enough, and wakes herself up every ten minutes. 

 

Now, like I said... last night was a good one, so I'm hoping for another of those. I think one of the keys is going to be not nursing her to sleep. We're trying to nurse her, keep her up for a bit, and then settle her in to sleep. Otherwise we're having problems with the times she wakes up after only say 15 minutes... she wants to nurse again, because it's the only way she knwos how to go to sleep-- but then she overfills her stomach, so she vomits for the next ten minutes, and then we have to change her and all her blankets... and then we're back at square one, because she wants to nurse again! lol

 

The party went well. Of course she slept the WHOLE thing, and everybody kept making comments about how oh yes, they can see that she cries sooo mnuch. I told them we'd call them at 2am. 

post #238 of 446
Thread Starter 
JJ ~ That sounds so much like Ethan. I can't really tell you what we did except co-sleep. Even with me in the bed with Ethan he'd wake every 20 minutes but at least I could nurse him back to sleep and was laying down getting rest during that time. If he absolutely would not settle, Sean would bounce him on the exercise ball. It was very exhausting and frustrating but it did get better. I also remember feeling like I had to put Ryan down and walk away. There were times when I actually did that. I put him in his crib and just went outside. It was better for all of us that I did that for a few minutes while he was probably crying than for me to stay with him and just get angrier and angrier. I had no one to relieve me and it was horrible.
post #239 of 446

Yeah, I've been bringing her into bed to nurse, which is good, because she's a fast eater, but between nursing, burping and then falling back asleep, it normally takes about 40 minutes, and I just lay back against my massive stack of pillows and close my eyes, so while I'm not sleeping, at least I'm resting. Then when she falls asleep it's only 4 feet I have to walk back to her bassinette. It's just the times when she decided to scream bloody murder instead of being a normal child that are a problem. lol. 

 

I've said a hundred times these past few weeks that I don't know how single parents do it. Or even those whose spouses have to go back to work the next day, or two days later. DH has been off work this whole time, which is sooo stressful financially, but emotionally and physically, I don't know what I'd do without him here. Especially the first week when I was so sore/in pain from the SPD, that it took literally five whole minutes to get in/out of bed or the couch. I hold a lot of respect for mamas who have to do this alone. 

 

Actually it's funny, I meant to tell you guys, but the other night, we had just started trying to settle her again for the night, and had to put her down really quickly in her bassinette, which we pretty much never do- we wait until she's asleep and then put her down. But we heard crackling, and it turns out one of our electrical plugs shorted and was literally starting a fire inside the wall... so obviously putting her to sleep was a second priority! It was almost ten minutes before we got a chance to go over and pick her back up, but in the meantime she was in the room with us, so I kept listening for her, and watching her-- she was trying to put herself to sleep! It's the only time I've ever seen ehr do it, but she kept closing her eyes, and then after a minute or 30 seconds she'd startle and open them again. But the fact that she was trying was pretty cool! It kind of goes to show that they have keen instincts-- she knew that at that moment, mommy and daddy were NOT coming back to pick her up. 

post #240 of 446
Thread Starter 
you reminded that D was the same way after the first few days. he wouldn't settle or sleep for more than a few minutes. i was exhausted and felt like i was getting no sleep. now, looking back, i think it was all due to gas. he still has lots of gas and i can tell when it's coming. he doesn't scream or cry anymore but he squirms and tenses and then i hear that little fart. whew! it stinks. try some probiotics. i've had good luck with biogaia, it's liquid so i can put it in a dropper or on a spoon and i found it at the local walgreen's behind the pharmacy counter.
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