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December 2011 Whatever Ladies Having Babies ~ We are down to one! - Page 13post #241 of 44612/18/11 at 8:38pmThread Starterpost #242 of 44612/19/11 at 5:10am
JJ: Glad you had a good night! ITA with tackling one issue at a time, though maybe the decrease in dairy = spitting up less = sleeping better? they may all be wrapped up together, esp if she was screaming.
I don't know what I would do with a "normal" baby - except for the first 2 days we have never had every 2 hour nightly feedings. with either baby. They both sleep/slept a longish stretch - 3-5 hours and then, well, DD (I don't remember exactly with DS) it's every hour or two until I need to get out of bed. then she sleeps most of the morning. The only challenging issue we have really is the cluster feeding. And that is still within the realm of normal, so I don't worry about it. (it's early days yet, so we will see)
MW: I think a lot of how you do or can deal with biting depends on the age of the babe. DS was older than Dylan when he was biting, so I think he understood what I was asking a bit better. He also tended to bite during the end of a nursing session, when he was getting lazy. So putting him down really didn't seem to bother him much - he was done eating, and would be fine playing. If he still wanted to nurse, I would try again, but switch sides.
Such a busy weekend! We had a blast at a birthday party at a children's museum. It was a bunch of AP moms, and it was so nice to see and talk to some that have and do nurse toddlers. Makes me wish DS still did, but I don't want to push that. Not to mention, NIP with moms that could care less if you cover and will talk to you while you do. I hate when people think you want to be left alone while you nurse. The children's museum even had a little play area for non-walkers and boppy pillows! so when DD is a little older, there will a place for her to be.
DS woke whiny. I hate that. especially before I've had my coffee!post #243 of 44612/19/11 at 7:10amThread StarterI want to make sure I'm clear about sleeping with the baby in a sling. I meant in an upright position like a recliner or propped up with pillows in the bed so that baby is always upright and on top of you.
I think sleeping a 3-5 hour stretch is within normal, too, right? All the breastfeeding stuff says not to let baby go more than 6 hours without nursing at night, right? Or is it 4 hours? I can never keep that straight. But it's also not abnormal for a baby to wake more often than that. It's very unpredictable, especially in those early weeks and months. The thing to do, for me anyway, is to work with what the baby is doing rather than fighting against it and trying to make the baby change. Sure, there are gentle things you can do to try to encourage baby to sleep at this time or for this long but you have to accept that that may (probably?) not happen and be ready for something else instead.
I don't feel like doing anything today. I didn't even want to get out of bed. Oh, I did lose more weight! Only 1.8 lbs. and I'll be back to my pre-pg weight. I don't remember the weight coming off this fast or this easy before.post #244 of 44612/19/11 at 7:44am
Yay for weight loss MW! I don't want to do anything either but I need to get my butt in gear and finish christmas shopping and start picking up the kids' rooms. Blech. Probably the only thing I will get accomplished before work this afternoon is stamps to send out the christmas cards.
JJ, please don't take what I'm about to say as an invalidation of what you are feeling or going through. I'm just going to tell you what worked for me and feel free to take what helps you and leave the rest! I agree with what MW was saying about working with the baby instead of trying to get them to change. I remember those feelings of frustration that DD was not sleeping like other babies. There were a couple of nights when I tried to get her to go to bed at a "normal" bedtime. I figured that since she seemed to sleep from 8 PM-midnight on me that if I could start a bedtime routine by feeding/rocking her in a darkened room then I could put her in her rocker and she would sleep. HA! DD was having none of that. She wanted to sleep during that time but she wanted to be in arms. I remember sitting for hours one night in my bedroom in the dark rocking and rocking DD and wishing she would fall deep enough asleep so I could lay her down. She was on to me though and those little eyes would fly open any time I made a move to put her down. So I changed the way I thought about it. It wasn't helping the situation for me to sit in a dark room for hours getting more and more frustrated. So we started a new thing. I made sure I had shows I wanted to watch on the DVR. I would get DD bathed and in her jammies and then we would take up our position on the couch. I would feed her on and off for those four hours and she would snooze in between. I would lay back and relax and watch TV. All the lights were off in the living room so the only light was from the TV and I wouldn't have the sound loud. She would sleep some and I wasn't bored out of my mind sitting in a dark room. Then around Midnight, I could put her in her rocker and go to bed myself.
She still is pretty much on demand for all of her needs. She eats when she wants to, sleeps when she wants to and if she isn't ready to sleep, I don't force the issue. Now that may sound like our lives are completely unpredictable and totally at DD's whims. Well that is partly true because since she is changing so rapidly, what worked a few weeks ago may not work now. But I do know a couple of things about her that are consistent. She doesn't like to eat right away after waking up during the day. She stays awake about 1-1.5 hours and then needs to go to sleep again. But other than that, I can't say from one day to the next when she is going to bed for the night. Or when she will wake up during the night. Or what her nap times are going to be tomorrow.
Are all babies like that? No, I don't think so. I know that my niece was already going to bed at like 6:30 PM by the time she was this age and just waking a couple of times a night to eat. But she was FF. Plus her temperament has always been different than DD's. Do I think I'm setting myself up for problems later on with bedtime for DD? Maybe. But I also know that most toddlers and preschoolers do better with regular sleep times. But most importantly, I'm o.k. with DD being on demand for sleeping and eating right now. I don't feel a need to have her on a schedule. Some parents feel very strongly that their babies need to be on a schedule and it causes them a lot of frustration if the baby isn't. My goddaughter's parents are that way.
I wrote all of this to say that I think it's important to pay attention to YOUR BABY rather than what other babies do or have done and give your DD what she needs. My DD's medical team always say "Watch the baby and not the equipment" or "Treat the baby and not the labs". DD may have O2 levels in the mid 60s and yes that's concerning but if she is happy, playing and interacting, it is obviously not bothering her.
But again, know that we have all been right where you are and very recently. I still have vivid recollections of being so sleep deprived that I could hardly walk. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! AND IT STINKS! But sometimes letting go of expectations that are not needed can help bring the frustration levels down significantly. Oh and buy one of each pacifier at the store...seriously! I went through three different kinds before I found one that DD would take. She needed and still needs to suck a lot when she is going to sleep but she's not hungry. Finding a paci that she loved made a HUGE difference!post #245 of 44612/19/11 at 8:11amThread Starterwow, annie! that is a great post! i think it's so true that it helps immensely to just change how we think about things. other people, including babies, can pick up on our energy, which is based on what we think and how we feel about something. they seem to know when we are trying to trick them into doing something they don't want and they fight it. but, if we let go of the expectation and just relax into the moment, they seem to cooperate.
i need to start wrapping presents. I finally got wrapping paper last night. I guess I shouldn't have waited so long because there wasn't much left. Oh well, it's for the kids, anyway, so it's more important that they like the paper. Now I just need a time when all the boys will cooperate so I can get it done. One thing I never get around to doing is getting the stockings out and making sure I have enough to fill them. Then at the last minute I go crazy worried that I don't have enough and buy a ton of stuff and up with overfull stockings and more stuff spread all over the fireplace. This year I have sworn I'm not going to do that.
I never told you all but the other night Ethan began crying when we went to bed. When I asked what was wrong he said that he wasn't going to get anything from Santa because he was sure he was on the naughty list. He must have gotten that idea from friends and/or TV because we never talk about the naughty/nice aspect of Santa. He said he was on the naughty list because he's been mean to Kellen. Nothing I said made him feel better. So, I want to get some presents out for him so he'll see that he's getting something.post #246 of 44612/19/11 at 8:33am
MW, now that you have 4 kids, I'll let you in on one of my tricks to keep things organized at Christmas with 4+ kids...I make a spreadsheet. Seriously! When we open presents, we take turns and do them one at time so it's important that the kids have the same number of presents as well as the same number of trinkets in their stockings. I buy things as they go on sale and hide them in various places so I have to write everything down so I don't forget what I've purchased. I also use the spreadsheet to keep track of gift ideas and then I highlight the cells after I have purchased the gift. I also put how much I paid for each gift so I can remember. I hate rushing around on Christmas Eve trying to get last minute things! Although last year DH threw my whole plan off by going out Christmas Eve and buying more presents for the kids! Agh! I flipped out on him while I was up wrapping at 1 AM. Of course, I was also like 10-11 weeks pregnant so I'm sure that didn't help! Do you put out Santa presents before Christmas morning?
Oh and to add to what I was saying before about watching your baby instead of other babies, I know that there are babies out there that will just go with the flow and will sleep when needed and eat well (or too well!). But my DD is just not one of those babies. MW, I think you were mentioning before how it is easy to overfeed FF/bottlefed babies because the food is there and they just keep eating. Well DD is bottlefed but if she's not hungry, she will throw an absolute fit if you try to come near her with a bottle. Swatting, turning her head, closing her mouth tight, and my new favorite, SCREAMING! She just has definite ideas about how she wants things to go and even at this young age, she is pretty adept at getting her needs met! If she is o.k. sleeping alone, she will let me put her down on her side of the bed. If she's not, she will fuss until I pick her up and put her in the crook of my arm where she will immediately settle and go to sleep. I just keep reminding myself that this is just temporary. Things will change again in a few weeks!post #247 of 44612/19/11 at 9:00am
JJ - One thing that really helped me deal with DD1 (who was colicky and pretty much cried for 3 months straight) I was getting soo frustrated and even angry at her for crying, but then one night I tought - you know what - she isn't trying to be "bad" or just give me a hard time. She was in pain and was not comfortable and she can't say "mama my belly hurts" or "could you rub my back" or "I would rather lay in another position" - all she could do was cry and hope that I would figure out what she wanted, and once I got that into my head I could deal with it better.
DS is somewhat like you describe your DD - he will eat and then try to go to sleep and then keep waking up and wanting to nurse again and then he ends up overfilled and throws up and we have to start all over again. So sometimes I just don't take him - I give him to DH when I know he is just nursing for comfort - he can't nurse when DH has him! Another thing my mom said to me is that for a baby the only thing they know that brings them comfort is the breast - so even when they have gas they think that nursing will fix it - which is why they want to nurse and nurse and end up overfilling themselves and throwing up. But it made sense to me - they get hungry and they eat and they feel better so whenever something is wrong they think nursing is the answer. I guess that makes it hard for us though - how do we know when they are really hungry or if it is just for comfort??
AFU - I have this thing where I "teach" my kids to stick out their tongue at me! lol Weird I know! But I decided to try with Daxton the other night and he got it right away! And he gets SOOOOOO happy when I say "stick your tongue out" and then I stick my tongue out at him and you can see him working on it then out it comes and he gets the biggest smile ever! LOVE IT! Although the other night it was midnight and he still wasn't settled for the night so I thougt I would just take hi and lay down in bed and hope he would settle - but once we got in bed and he had my attention he starts sticking his tongue out and smiling! How can you resist that??? We were at our meeting at the Kingdom Hall yesterday morning and DH had him out back trying to settle him after I had nursed him and he said he would almost fall asleep then he would open his eyes and start sticking out his tongue and smiling at DH. Too cute! It's the little things right??post #248 of 44612/19/11 at 9:01am
the changeability of babies is something I finally understood when I had DS. I don't understand when people try to get young babies on a schedule. Why? It is so much effort and work. and it might not actually work (9 times out of 10 anyway)
I was amazed when my friends - who all are now FF now, having given up on BFing due to various issues (all of which could have been worked through, and they all KNOW that, but whatever) - said their babies only get 4 bottles a day, maybe 5. I can't imagine only feeding DD 4 times a day. I don't think DS ever did that few nursing sessions. Even when he was a year old and taking in solids too.
as for Christmas: we will do *mostly* what I did growing up - open all the family gifts Christmas Eve and do stockings and the big Santa gift on Christmas morning. As we go around various family houses on Christmas day, the kids will get additional gifts, and that's ok. (that's the part that's different from how I grew up. there were no other houses to go to)
I told DH I think my position on Santa is that we won't NOT do him. Won't just ignore Santa or say he's not real, neither will we make a huge effort to ensure DS that he is (like with "letters" and "videos" from Santa. Geesh) Don't think we'll do the Elf on a Shelf either. I don't like the idea of holding Santa over their heads as a threat for good behaviour. (not to say I may be tempted to do this in the future, but I will try to not do it)post #249 of 44612/19/11 at 9:33am
Annie-- Tenley has started smacking DH in the face when he tries to calm her down by talking close to her face. It's funny, because I know she's too young to be doing it on purpose, but it certainly looks like it!
She seems to like orthodontic pacis- I've got a couple born free ones, and a Nuk one. My mother brought over like 12 last week when we mentioned that we needed to get her on to one. lol. It turns out the ones she likes are the ones I already had here... I feel kinda bad she spent all that money though.
Don't worry Annie, I get exactly what you mean. And I don't expect her to be on a timed schedule... a routine would be a better word for it I suppose. In the book, she uses the acronym EASY-- Eat, have an Activity, Sleep, and then have You time. She says it should take about 3 hours at this age, but obviously we're adjusting that as needed. I think she's starting her 3 week growth spurt right now, she wanted to nurse every 1-2 hours last night and this morning so far. Before now it's been every 3 or more that she actually eats, and the other times are just comfort, but last night she genuinely wanted to eat, and was staying on for like 15 minutes +, whereas again, usually she's done within five minutes. I wonder if maybe my supply/letdown is finally evening out as well. But anyways, yeah, the routine makes sense to me, and it works because then it reminds us to keep her up for a while, so that she's actually tired when we're trying to put her to bed, and it also teaches her that there are other ways to fall asleep other than at the breast.
I might try a similar night routine to you as well. She often seems to want to cluster feed at night around 11pm until 2ish, so I'm wondering if I start a bit earlier and cluster feed for a few hours and watch tv like you said, maybe she'll be able to sleep a bit better during the night. I just have to be careful to give her enough time in between feeds so she doesn't gorge herself.
MW-- LOL, I got what you mean. I can just picture someone strapping on a moby though and lying down in bed and falling asleep. Priceless! We've been using the Moby a little bit, but need to get used to using it more. Most often during the day, we've just left her in our arms, and one of us gets things done while the other watches tv/goes on the computer. We've just started putting her down in the bassinette a bit more to try ot get her used to it. Oh, and we've definitely found that leaving her in arms for longer before putting her down does help.
Speaking of-- in the baby whisperer routine, they tell you to do "shush pat", and ideally you calm the baby for five minutes, and then place them in their sleepnig place, and lean over, and shushhhh in their ears, while patting their backs for twenty minutes. Now in theory this actually does work great- it calms her, and it's long enough that she's in a deep sleep. But after the first time trying it, I came out to the living room and told DH "Do they also include the workout that allows a 3 week postpartum mom to be able to lean over in the position for 20 minutes?" lol We've opted to shush pat while she's in our arms, and then put her down, and just continue it for five minutes or so. I don't mind the cuddles, so why not.
I've still been cutting out the dairy, or down I should say- I'm not doing well at cutting it out completely. It does seem to be helping a bit, so I'm going to keep it up, and try to cut out even more. Other than that though, we're trying not to focus on it for now, and just trust her body.
Ok, she's officially asleep and both the dog and I desperately have to go potty, see you ladies later! lolpost #250 of 44612/19/11 at 9:54am
DS is a by the clock baby and DD was NOT. Having had both, I can see how frustrating it is to expect one thing and get the opposite. DD was colicky and never happy. JJ, DH and I did shifts b/c Nora would only sleep on us. Depending on who was more tired, the least tired person would stay up for the first "shift". I would boob DD and pass her off, and sleep until she woke up, and then nurse her and we'd switch.
Once DH went back to work, I always took the 2nd shift, b/c he said even sleeping from 4-7 or so would leave him more rested for work than sleeping even from 10-2 or something, b/c being up with DD was so exhausting. It was a crazy frustrating and very tiring time.
But, it passed. Probably by 4 months old or so she was better. I think she was able to sleep in the swing by then, instead of on one of us.
DS OTOH usually goes down at 830 and sleeps til 12. If he takes a late nap (which he has been b/c he's been sick) then I'll put DD to bed first at 9 and then do him after. I'm still afraid he'll change and start acting like DD did, like it's something I can break if I do something wrong!!
re: Santa. I'm torn bc I do sometimes slip and encourage her to believe, when really i want to stay neutral.
Kat - 5 bottles? What else do they do with their babies? I'm trying to think how i would fill the time if i weren't nursing all the time!post #251 of 44612/19/11 at 10:13amThread StarterJJ ~ I figured you'd have enough sense to not lay down to sleep with baby in the sling but who knows who else might be reading this.
I do that "shush" and pat thing instinctively. You all probably don't remember but for the first 3 months D would cry on my shoulder for several minutes before he finally fell asleep. Nursing didn't help and neither did anything else. The only thing I could do was sit holding him up on my shoulder, bouncing and rocking myself while I patted his back and shushed him. I still do that when he's laying down and seems to be waking too soon. Before picking him up, I'll try shushing and patting his back and sometimes he'll go back to sleep.
Annie ~ I always make lists of presents but am not good at keeping track of stocking stuffers. The younger ones usually do get more just because the things they want usually cost less. For example, Ryan needs a new pair of shoes ($70) and wants a laptop. That's pretty much all he'll get. I'm collecting money from other family members to help pay for the laptop. We put unwrapped presents out (one for each kid) from Santa for Christmas morning. We usually open one present on Christmas Eve.post #252 of 44612/20/11 at 3:23am
Carrie; I know! I think we were only down to 4 nursings a day when we were headed towards weaning.
I don't know about you all, but I know I sometimes get annoyed at the intensely personal questions people ask you when you have a new baby. Are you breastfeeding, does she sleep through the night, was it a vaginal or c-section birth . . . BUT twice in the last two days I've come across strangers who are due soon who had a c-section with their first and are hoping for a VBAC with their second. I love giving them a picture of hope - I did it! and most likely they can too. I know we can NIP to raise breastfeeding awareness, but unless someone asks those questions, I am not sure how to do it for VBAC, so women can see that it is really possible, it is a real option, and they can do it! (or they should at least try). - when things like that happen (two people in the same situation, so close together) I wonder if it is more than coincidence . . .
JJ: found pics of Tenley - I love the facial expressions you've captured! she already is a bundle of personality!
I have been watching video tutorials of back wrapping. for those of you who do or have, what is your favorite way to get baby on your back? I am thinking the Santa Toss looks the most doable for me, but until I get my wrap and can practice, I don't know.
I also think I will like the double hammock . . . I like the flat piece of fabric in the front, as opposed to cross straps.post #253 of 44612/20/11 at 6:37amThread StarterKat ~ I don't ever remember the names of any of the techniques or carries so I can't say. I think I remember the hammock one, though, because I was thinking I might like that one. I don't like the criss-crosses on my front. Although, the wider wrap is probably way more comfortable than my narrow mei tai straps. I still haven't practiced back-wrapping D. I was going to so that I could wrap Christmas presents but he ended up being very cooperative. He laid on the floor next to me so that I got all but 2 presents wrapped.
I haven't found pics yet. And, I can't find JJ on FB, either.
I forgot to say that I realized that I am one present short for Ethan. I have a free puzzle book that came with my order from Mindware that I wrapped for him but that's not really a gift. I mean, it's not something he wants. So, now I have to rush out and try to find him one more thing before Christmas. I have no idea what to buy because I had no plans to buy any of the regular toys from the stores this year. I don't usually buy those types of things for them for birthdays and Christmas. I have them go through catalogs and pick stuff.post #254 of 44612/20/11 at 9:02ampost #255 of 44612/20/11 at 9:09amThread Starterpost #256 of 44612/20/11 at 9:31am
I wish! FIL bought this space heater that does a great job heating both floors, but the bedroom doors upstairs need to be open in order for the heat to reach there. Normally we keep DS's door shut, but can't else he'll freeze. so he's been waking up earlier, partly due to not being shut off in his room, and also because he's got a cold and is coughing and sneezing in the morning. oh well.
FWIW: I was up because I had to pee and DD needed to eat and a new diaper. so I figured I might as well get up for the day.post #257 of 44612/20/11 at 9:56am
Hey Guys! I've been trying to keep up with you guys and by the time I get through the posts that I've missed, I don't have time to reply but I do now!Quote:Originally Posted by MarineWife
wow, annie! that is a great post! i think it's so true that it helps immensely to just change how we think about things. other people, including babies, can pick up on our energy, which is based on what we think and how we feel about something. they seem to know when we are trying to trick them into doing something they don't want and they fight it. but, if we let go of the expectation and just relax into the moment, they seem to cooperate.
Agreed! DD #2 was just like Tenley. Just like her! My DD did actually have some allergies (soy, peanuts, tomatoes and dairy for a while)...but still, knowing what I know about allergies in homeopathy, it's all about sensitivity to the environment. You can bet if baby is super sensitive to foods, baby is super sensitive to the emotions in the room. Everything stopped when we weaned, even though at that point, she no longer had allergies. I was convinced after that that babies really do pick up on our energy. I was a total mess for my 2nd daughter's first year of life. I had a grumpy, miserable, angry, sick pregnancy and post-partum period and because I didn't do any healing around that, I think she picked up on all of it! Guess what, she is our most stubborn, tantrum-y child now too! It clearly effected her personality! I would say she 100% believes that me and my DH should revolve arounds lives around her! It's what we love about her though. She's so strong in her will and it makes her very capable at what she sets out to do.
It's all good, you know! Babies come in with their own stories and we're here to just support them as it all unfolds. You can't spoil her! I will say that sleep deprivation is a medical emergency in my eyes. It can really mess up a mama all around. Sleep whenever you can and wherever you can. Take care of yourself. Let the house go to sh!t. Ask for help. Get take-out and convenience foods (albeit healthy ones if you can) and just be with your baby. It goes by SO fast. SO fast. And remember....WHAT YOU RESIST, PERSISTS. Just go with the flow and let her lead you on her adventure. Sleep when she does! Soon she will be off and running!
MW- congrats on losing the baby weight!
AFM- Full term already....37w5d. Thinking tonight is a good night. We are 100% ready for him now. I feel a bit off today but I can't tell if it's impending labor or the flu. My two youngest ones had the flu last week. We'll see. Okay, there goes my free time! Have to get to the midwives.post #258 of 44612/20/11 at 10:35am
Sorry you ladies have had such trouble finding me! I'll have to take a look at my security settings. I thought I was searchable! I've added you Alysia. I've got a bunch more photos to add as well, it's just dependent on when I get a chance to go through them.
Last night went well again. At the risk of jinxing things, I think we could be on an upswing. I tried to do a bunch of cluster feeds starting at about 8, but she only really made it through two I think, and then she was --wide awake-- until about 10. Then we were able to lay her down in her bouncer chair, and she just kind of adjusted position and settled in. I stayed up though because I expected her to wake up soon, and then also need to nurse again soon (she nursed every 90 minutes during the day). Finally at midnight I gave up and went to bed, since I wasn't doing anything for her anyways. She didn't wake until just after 2am, and even then I'm pretty sure I could have gotten her back to sleep, but I pulled her out so we could nurse. She nursed, and we changed her and then fell asleep on me, and at about 4 I put her back down in her seat, and then she slept until just before five. Got up and nursed, and then went back into her seat until about 830. After that she fussed quite a bit and I kept her in bed with me, and DH got up. She ended up sleeping again until 11. Not bad! Like I said-- I'll take nights like that. There was almost NO fussing to go back down to sleep... she just nursed, sat up for a bit and burped, and then cuddled to sleep. Magic.
I like late mornings! I'm going to have a hard time if/when she switches over and starts doing the typical infant wakeup of 6 or 7 am for the day. My internal clock normally thinks that around midnight or 1am is bedtime, and then I sleep until 10 or 11. It's been kind of nice that she's been doing her biggest stretches in the morning, and not in the earlier evening.
akind-- I've been surprised too at some of the questions people will ask when they don't even know you that well. I've been asked so many times how I'm recovering, and if I'm healing well, or if I tore, etc etc. Like really? You're asking about the state of my vagina? Oddly enough, I haven't been asked about breastfeeding by anyone who wasn't in a professional capacity. And very few people have asked if it was a natural birth.
I'm at an odd point. I had a good natural birth. Great even. But I'm still mourning pretty much the whole second half of it. I got tired, and so anxious for her to just be out already that I started rushing myself, and allowing myself to be rushed. I didn't allow myself to just... embrace the birth and the feelings and relax through it, instead I felt like I was trying to run past all of it. In the end, after 2.5 hours of pushing, her shoulders got semi-stuck, and the doctor ended up wrenching her out, causing a second degree tear. I'm still angry about it, and while yes, at the doctor for not talking me through it, not telling me what was going on, or giving me options, but I'm also angry at myself. And I know that everybody in the freaking world would say not to be, but I am. I knew better. I knew all the research about breathing a baby down, and letting your body push only when it can't not push, and the value of taking advantage of your rest and be thankful time, and waiting for that urge. But I let myself get too caught up in the typical birth 'rules' of dilation, now push for your life. I wish I'd just been able to really use my knowledge and stay present, kwim? I think that's part of why I haven't written her birth story yet. I'm avoiding it.post #259 of 44612/20/11 at 11:19am
JJ: I understand completely where you are coming from. I am so glad I had my VBAC. But the recovery was harder than I thought. I also didn't do as well in labor as I thought I would, and I think it was because it went so much faster than any of us anticipated. I even ended up purple pushing - you could see it in my face for days after - and that tear! OMG. If I can just not do that again.
Maybe Canada is more BF'ing friendly? I have gotten people who asked what sort of formula she's on. and I'm like . . .none. she gets mama milk.
Yay for another good night! I don't know if you'll ever get a schedule, but it sounds as if you are in a good groove.
Kinder - can't wait to 'meet" your little one! so exciting!post #260 of 44612/20/11 at 12:02pm
Hi kinder!! Sooo close...and yet I'm sure feeling so far! Hang in there. Good to hear from you too!
JJ - processing a birth is TOUGH. Give yourself credit for all your hard work. Write her story in bits and pieces, and let it heal you.
I was so disappointed in how I acted during Nora's birth. Ashamed of my attitude and how I felt like I "gave up". I was mad at my midwife after the fact (for a lot of reasons) and chose a different one for my next pg. There are just so many factors in coming to terms with how births go. Healing birth trauma is a BIG deal. Don't sell yourself short by saying that Tenley is here and you're both fine and you should be happy. If you're upset with things, face them. Process them. And most importantly, give yourself time. It took me years to even be able to say I would ever try homebirth again. I was thisclose to just doing a hospital/epidural birth for subsequent kids b/c I felt like I hadn't succeeded at homebirth/natural birth. I was that traumatized by my first.
AFUs - DH's gym has been closed since last week for the holidays (he goes to the Rutgers gym b/c he's alumni) and he doesn't bike ride anymore b/c it's too cold. So, when Finn gets up at 6 or so, I bring him into the living room and DH watches him and lets me go back to sleep. This morning I slept til 915!! It's soooo nice and I've been taking advantage of DH being here in the mornings by doing that like, every day. LOL. I'm so much more rested just getting even 2 hours straight.
Having DD come into my bed at night is still working (mostly). Sometimes I still have to go get her, which is tough at times but she falls right back to sleep with no trouble at all when she's with me so that's good. And Finn's nightwakings don't wake her up. So. Win.
I'm trying to cut down on my computer time and it's hard. I just realize how much I could be doing and getting done, and it's all falling behind b/c I love being on FB and MDC. Argh. Finding balance is tough for me.
MW - Congrats on the weight loss! That's awesome -- you must feel pretty darn good!!
I'm still chugging along. I have 7-8 lbs left til prepreg weight. This last 10 is hard to shed! Plus being sick, and holiday goodies being baked and whatnot, it's not easy to stay on the weight watchers plan. But, still trying!!
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