December 2011 Whatever Ladies Having Babies ~ We are down to one! - Page 3

[akind1]

Carrie: it can't hurt and might help, who knows?

DS never asks for any milk. He does ask to see the boobies once in a while (maybe it's a boy thing??)

ooh - yay on good sleep for Nora!

[**mom2one**]

JJ - Just wanted to say that I agree with the others - it does hurt in the beginning - and even the nurses were telling me that the latch must be wrong (mind you these were all super young nurses who had never nursed before!)  but I kept telling them - well it hurt with my other two so I think it's normal.  One thing they did suggest for the cracking was to express a little bit of milk at the end of your feeding and put on your nips and then wait until it dries to put your bra back on - it did seem to help.  I put the milk and then once that was dry I put the lansinoh and I only had the cracking for a few days - but it did still hurt for a couple of weeks.

Carrie - Dax is doing the same thing - waking every 2 hours to the minute to nurse - but he is only 6 weeks old - I do think there is a 6 week growth spurt too though isn't there?  The other night was awful - to begin with all 3 kids have a cold.  So they are cranky and snotty all day anyway. I can't lay Daxton on is back because he fills right up and sounds awful so I have him all propped up to sleep - but still every time I nurse him i had to get out of bed and hold him upright for a while until it kind of drains out of his head and he can breather easier - then 3 yo DD woke up saying her tummy was hurting so I kind of tried to console her - thinking it was nothing - 5 minutes later she is up out of bed throwing up on the kitchen floor, so I had to try to get DH to help her since I was nursing Dax (again).  S0 he gets up and takes her into the bathroom and leaves her there and comes back to bed!  I was soooo mad so I finished nursing really quickly and went out to get her and he has left the vomit on the floor for me to clean up!  Nice.  So I get her back into bed and get a drink of water and then I get back to bed and every 10 minutes she wants me to come back in.  So between the two of them - and then when they were sleeping Dh was snoring so loud I couldn't sleep - I didn't get much sleep so at 8 am i gave the baby to Dh and told him that he had to take the kids because I was going to bed.  I did sleep for a couple of hours but not enough!  

I told DH this morning that I feel so resentful when I am getting up all the time in the night and he can just lay there sleeping - snoring away.  It bugs me - especially when he complains about being tired.

Kat - I hope your day goes well!

MW - I hope things get worked out with your DH and things are better when he comes home - how long til he comes home for good?

My FIL just called to see if I wanted him to take girls for a couple of hours today.  I said I thought I would be ok - but I am starting to think that maybe I will call him back and say yes!  I have a bunch of crocheting to get done so if Dax sleeps this afternoon I could work on that for a while.

Anyway - I hope everyone is doing well - as well as any of us sleep deprived mamas can!

[MarineWife]

carrie ~ i think any amount of fresh mama milk is good for her. why not? raw cow milk is good for people so raw mama milk should be even better.

haha Annie and Kat. i just made up a number for wet and poopy diapers, too, based on what i read was normal. that's a silly one for CDing because it's based on sposies and docs do not know how to translate that.

i haven't taken D back to the ped since 2 months when he retracted D's foreskin. i have no plans to take him for any WBVs. but i got the paperwork to register the boys with the base children & youth services so i could use their drop in childcare for docs appointments and such. they require a physical from the doc, which i don't want to hassle with. i got a flyer for childcare info through the city. i'm going to try that first to see if they have a list of babysitters. if not, i think i'll try the red cross. i think they provide babysitting classes so they might keep a master list of graduates. i'd really rather have someone come here than put them in a large childcare facility, especially since they aren't vaxed. i don't want them exposed to a contained area perfect for the spread of communicable diseases.

[Baby_Cakes]

I was just thinking about something similar - using the daycare facility at the gym.  I'm not a member yet but honestly was thinking about it, just to get back into a routine and get some me time.  But, I don't think I want to expose him to those germs when it isn't necessary.  Even if I wanted to go, I could just arrange to leave him home with DH.

Interesting thoughts about the mama milk!  Thanks!!

DD's preschool requires a flu shot.  Ugh.  We do delayed/selective vax so there's no legitimate way around it, I suppose.  Right?  I really don't care for flu shots.  I think they're unnecessary and often lead to illness.

[MarineWife]

ugh, mom2one! i would not abide that from my dh. i wouldn't have let him sleep. i would have told him to get his ass up and take care of his child and clean up the vomit. no way that would fly here. maybe that's why my dh is the way he is. i still wouldn't do it differently, though. i just won't put up with a man acting like a spoiled child. i'd rather be on my own.

ya know, here we all are talking about how our breastfed babies of all different ages are waking every two hours as if it's unusual. i think the fact that we are all experiencing it at different ages and stages of less than 6 months, maybe even less than a year, goes to show it is normal.

i do expect D to wake about every 2 hours to nurse at night. i really don't get why we'd expect things to be any different than during the day. a baby's tummy doesn't know the difference. another thing, too, that i have read is the less the eat during the day, the more they will eat at night. so, if we all have babies who are getting distracted from eating during the day, it makes sense that they'd eat more at night.

i've tried the double boobing with D, too, in hopes that he'd sleep longer but no such luck. i can deal with the 2 hour nursings at night as long as there isn't a lot of restlessness and other disturbances. D was driving me crazy last night because he was so squirmy while nursing. he kept kicking me until i couldn't take it anymore. i rolled over and put my back to him for just a moment and next thing i knew he was asleep.

[Baby_Cakes]

MW - ITA!  Everyone seems to be in the same boat so I suppose nothing is "wrong"!  LOL!!  I also agree that I can deal with the wakeups, b/c it's normal and he's so little!  I'm not annoyed, more like just sleepy.

I also didn't see your post mom2one -- oh hell no!  DH would be cleaning that shit up and taking a shift!  I get annoyed when I'm up a lot and DH is snoring away -- but if it's b/c i'm nursing I can't be mad.  If it's b/c of something else he CAN help with, then I'm really annoyed.  

Oh - and thanks all for the advice about DD.  I decided to try something (maybe it worked, which is why she slept thru).  I told her if she needs me at night, instead of calling for me and getting upset when I can't come, please come get in my bed.  If I'm nursing Finn it means I can't come to you, but you can sure come lay with me in the big bed.  I said if you're too tired to get up and come, that means you can roll over and go back to sleep.  I'll try it again tonight and see what happens.

[MarineWife]

carrie ~ that sounds like a great way to handle her waking. she has some control over the situation and she won't feel like she's been pushed aside for Finn.

as always, my boys slept with me last night. *sigh* when i talked to Ethan and Kellen about setting up their room so they could both sleep in there, Ethan immediately began to cry and say he would be scared. It was real upset crying, not, "I'm trying to get my way," crying. I told him I'd stay in the room until he fell asleep. Kellen even tried to make him feel better about it. But Ethan just wouldn't have it. He says he's scared without me or Sean (mostly me). He knows I'm going to leave the room once he's asleep and just the thought of it terrifies him. He doesn't know why or of what he's scared. He just is. I just can't force him to do it if he's that scared. I asked him if there was anything that would help to not be scared and he said no. I asked him when he thought he might be ready to sleep in his room. He said maybe when he's 8 or 9 or 10. He'll be 8 in January so we shall see.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

carrie ~ that sounds like a great way to handle her waking. she has some control over the situation and she won't feel like she's been pushed aside for Finn.
as always, my boys slept with me last night. *sigh* when i talked to Ethan and Kellen about setting up their room so they could both sleep in there, Ethan immediately began to cry and say he would be scared. It was real upset crying, not, "I'm trying to get my way," crying. I told him I'd stay in the room until he fell asleep. Kellen even tried to make him feel better about it. But Ethan just wouldn't have it. He says he's scared without me or Sean (mostly me). He knows I'm going to leave the room once he's asleep and just the thought of it terrifies him. He doesn't know why or of what he's scared. He just is. I just can't force him to do it if he's that scared. I asked him if there was anything that would help to not be scared and he said no. I asked him when he thought he might be ready to sleep in his room. He said maybe when he's 8 or 9 or 10. He'll be 8 in January so we shall see.

1ht

thanks!

That really hits it home for me that DD is even ok most of the time alone.  She knows I only lay til she falls asleep.  Sometimes she says she doesnt want me to leave after she's asleep, but i remind her she has her puppy and her duck, and that she can call me (or come to me) if she gets scared.  But she's only half E's age!!  Amazing to me how different kids are.  It makes me realize I shouldn't be so worried about her troubles at night.

[**mom2one**]

We are having trouble in the night with Kacey (3yo DD) and I guess throughout the day too.  Since we had the baby she s very whiny and needy.  I am certain it has to do with not being the baby anymore - in fact a couple of times int he night she has come to me int he night crying "I still a baby"  and  I feel so bad for her!  I always let her sleep with me when she is upset like that.  She is awesome with Daxton - loves him to death doesn't seem jealous in the typical way or anything - just extra whiny which drives me crazy.  I just don't know what to do - do I let her be that way and get extra attention or will that just lead to a cycle where she cries and gets whatever she wants because we feel bad for her?  Or do we just let her know that we won't tolerate it and it won't work to get her own way?  I am more for the first - but I can see how it might lead to trouble later on....She is a lot younger emotionally then DD1 was when we had her.  DD1 just kind of went with it and was never jealous or didn't act out or anything when we had DD2.  SO this is all new to me.  the funny thing is that DD1 was our drama queen, high strung, stubborn - just generally a difficult child and DD2 has been the most laid back kid ever until now.  Maybe I am reading too much into her behavior - maybe it's just a stage.  But my mom is always talking about how hard it is to be a middle child and maybe that is influencing how I react??

Like Carrie said - every child is different!  But any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

[annie2186]

mom2one - M was very much like your 3yo after A was born. She was loving on the baby and very protective of her, but after a couple weeks she turned into a whining big baby mess! LOL 

IMO - I'd just try to love on her as best I can as a new mommy mess myself. It passes. Or at least it did for me. I don't really think you can spoil a child when they are acting like that. I think mostly a monster child comes from not learning manners, not being able to be told "no" at appropriate times etc. 

And that would be a hell no if my husband tried to pull that s*&%! Taking my sick baby to the bathroom and just leaving her there?!? hellz no.

Carrie - I think there are some moms who are still nursing at Nora's age - so I don't see how giving her expressed breastmilk would be any different.  I'm sure it's really good for her!

ITA about the getting up to nurse all the time at night is totally normal. And like everyone else, I don't mind when she wakes up several times during the night, eats, and goes back to bed. It is when she won't settle after nursing that I go nuts!! 

It seems for me I can't win - because when she was little and would go 7-9 hours without nursing at night, I would wake up and worry about her, try to wake her up, have to empty some boobage . Worry about losing my supply cause she was going so long. So, really , even if you aren't waking up to nurse just having a baby means no sleep. IMO anyways.

Yeah, I'm not sure how much my baby drinks at any given day. She seems happy and full though, so I'm betting its all good 

I am actually taking all the kids to the dentist and doctor over the next few mondays. Ugh. M hasn't been to the doc since she was about 2 or 4 months old (I'm thinking 2) J hasn't been since she was maybe 2ish I think. So yeah, its been about 3 years. I am just kinda going to see how it goes. If they bug me about vaxing at all, I won't be back that is for sure. I already brought it up on the phone so we will see how it goes. 

The party went well yesterday. My house is really to small to host a party as well, but hey, I do it anyways!! LOL It's actally like 2000ish square feet, but its 3 levels so no given area is really big. I'm glad its over. Not its only christmas, new years, and two real birthday days left!!

[annie2186]

oh yeah, Carrie, that sounds like a really good idea with DD. I bet some nights she will still call out, but I bet it will help more nights than not!

mom2one, I thought of something else I did with M. When the baby was asleep I would scoop her up with a blanket and carry her around as a baby for a few minutes and really just love on her.  . I think they just want to be reassured you haven't forgotten about them ya know?

Oh, and giving in to her for those couple weeks and just dealing with her whininess with extra love and attention didn't make it any *worse* in the long run for us. M is definitely the most emotionally sensitive child. Drives me bonkers.

[akind1]

my Norah is the odd one; she doesn't nurse much at night. She clusters at different points during the day though. For example, last night I went to bed around 11:30 and I nursed her a bit. She slept until 5 ish when she wanted to nurse some more. then I got up a little before 7 to start working and she nursed then, and around 8:30, and kind of every hour to hour and a half this morning. At night she seems perfectly content to just be near food. I'll try to nurse her, but she just won't have it sometimes. She does another cluster between dinner and bedtime.

Of course, all this is subject to change!

We have DD 2 month well visit on the 20th. I like the doc we are seeing now (she's very relaxed and pro-BF, even extended BF, and chill about vax), so I am not opposed to the visits. Sometimes it is nice to have an extra set of eyes on your kids. I think DH would be perfectly happy not ever taking the kids for check ups. The chiro can always give them a once over. Oh, and not once has she talked about percentiles and such. which is awesome - I think too much emphasis is put on those. Then, it's perfectly obvious DD is gaining well.

Carrie, how can they require a flu shot? you should be able to do a refusal form. I think the flu shot has got to be one of the most worthless vax's - it's pure guessing which strains will be common this year. it's the first vax I ever refused on my own behalf; I got all the other ones ever suggested for me.

I had DS in the gym daycare, he seemed to like it, our particular gym was always staffed with the same people, which is great for continuity. I don't see it as much different than church nursery. I'll put DD in church nursery once the service/music starts bothering her, or she's just too awake and happy and I think she'd enjoy the nursery more.I think DS went around the 3 month mark.

Yeah, DH would be cleaning up the puke! how ridik is that?

I (or DH or FIL or MIL) - whoever puts Gabe to bed, only stays until he's asleep. Can E articulate his fears at all? Is it monsters, the dark, or something? just being without an adult?

oh - where did the 40 - 50 oz come from? I mean, when you are pumping, the guideline is an oz per hour you are away, so a general median of 24 oz per day, right? 40-50 is nearly double that! must be FF thing . . .

Today has gone ok; DD is being clingy - I think she's a bit more high needs than DS was. DS has been ok, napping now, so I need to get to work!

[Kindermama]

Carrie- that's awesome that Nora will drink breastmilk! I don't know if there are any health benefits at this point but it's obviously super healthy regardless! 

JJ- like everyone else said...totally normal. I bled for a couple of weeks with all 3 babies so far. Even the baby I had 5 months after weaning #2...my nips went back to normal during the pregnancy and so had to be stretched all over again when baby #3 came. I was so hoping for a break from the pain! I'm definitely not looking forward to the nursing pain again but I'm prepared. I have lansinoh, nipple shields and soothing pads. It will pass and then you won't believe how far your nipples can stretch in all directions!  As for needing to be held....my DD#2 was like that. Oh my God, it was hard. Sleep as much as you can, Mama, and accept any/all help offered by family and friends! Do you have a swing? My dd would at least take her cat naps in the swing. I also carried her A LOT in a wrap. This too shall pass. It will! Hang in there! Take good care of yourself too! 

I never kept track of feedings/ounces either. Breastfeeding on demand takes out all the guesswork. After all, baby knows when he is hungry! I can't imagine it's any easier when bottlefeeding. Who has time to sit and count ounces throughout the day! 

AFM- I'm stocking my freezer up! I've never done this before having a baby before but I know it will help a lot. We hired a mother's helper and she is so amazing so far! I'm 35w4d today! So soon! I think I have 2 weeks left before he comes. Good thing because I haven't washed anything and I still have to wrap Christmas presents and finish stocking the freezer. I'm in the home stretch now! 

It still feels so surreal that I'm going to have a baby. This happens every time to me. After this week, I'm going to make a conscious effort to really relax and spend time connecting with him every day. I think it will help. Right now, my belly moves and of course I'm amazed but I still don't feel like it's hit me! I can't see who he is. I'm dying to see his face and his hands and feet and belly and legs and just love him up. I can't access that love yet....and I want to! 

[MarineWife]

mom2one ~ i would love on that child as much as possible. she needs reassurance now more than ever that you will love her no matter what. getting harsh or strict or disapproving of her behavior will have the opposite effect. not good.

kinder ~ just a few more weeks.

yeah, i firmly believe that children are born with specific personalities. how those personalities are expressed depends somewhat on their experiences but, for the most part, they are born who they are. K is fine sleeping in his room with E as long as I or sean stays until he's asleep. he also slept there without waking all night most of the time. all E can tell me is that he's afraid without me or sean. even when sean was here, i tried to stay up a little late (for once) and let him go to bed with the boys but E wouldn't sleep. he came down twice to ask when i was coming up and cried when i told him later. i think it has to do with his highly sensitive nature. whatever it is, just like the 3yo who is whiny because of the new baby, i think i need to accept it for what it is. he will eventually grow out of it if i don't make him feel bad about it. KWIM?

seems strange to me that a FF fed baby would drink 40-50 ounces a day if BF fed babies drink only about half that. i don't know anything about FF but i'd think babies would consume less of that because it's supposed to be more filling.

i do not like childcare places at gyms and such, either. in addition to K getting MRSA at one, i had trouble with 2 others that i tried to leave E and K in so i could workout. they just were not having it and i was not comfortable leaving them in there crying even though that seemed to be typical. i think the staff were so used to parents telling them they didn't want to be bothered that they just couldn't accept that i did. i tried a few different times at different ages but got the same thing every time. so, i figure i can wait until they are comfortable with me leaving them to do stuff like that. me fat ain't goin' anywhere. if sean were home more consistently, i'd go when he was home to stay with the kids.

[AnnieA]

I'd be ok w/DD waking every two hours if it wasn't such a production every time she wakes up. I'm up for a minimum of an hour because once she's done eating, I have to pump again. And when she woke up at 4:30 AM this morning, she didn't want to go back to sleep. So she didn't fall asleep until 5:45 AM and then she was awake again at 7:30. I know she needs to eat and this too will pass but man, I'm tired. She did sleep from 8:30-11:30 AM this morning so I was able to sleep for part of that. At this point, I'm pretty sure it's not teething. The teething tablets did nothing and I even gave her tylenol at 5 AM thinking that was what was keeping her up and nothing. Must be the 4 month sleep regression a few weeks late.

I don't know where her ped got that figure of 40-50 oz. He had his calculator out and was punching numbers in...who knows?!? As long as her cardiologists are ok with her intake, I don't care.

[MarineWife]

Annie ~ does your husband help with any of the night parenting? maybe if he fed ava while you pumped you could get more sleep. if my dh were home and D woke up and stayed up for any part of the night other than to nurse, i'd get my dh to stay up with him at least part of the time.

before we had Ethan, my dh didn't have any opinion one way or the other about whether to BF or FF. He very quickly became a BF advocate after realizing that he didn't have to get up in the night to feed the baby like he'd heard so many stories about, especially since we co-sleep. All he had to do was change E's diaper and give him back to me. We'd all lay back down and I'd nurse E back to sleep and dh hardly lost any sleep.

[AnnieA]

No DH doesn't really do any of the night-time parenting for a variety of reasons. 1.) DD doesn't eat well for him. She likes to giggle, play and flirt w/him. Which leads to reason 2.)He gets her all wound up and she doesn't want to go back to sleep. And 3.) I can take a nap most days before I need to go to work and DH can't so I feel bad asking him to be up part of the night and then have to be at work at 8 AM when I can crawl back in bed for at least an hour or two.

So we have discovered that DD thinks it's hilarious for us to scare her. Not scare her a lot but she likes to be startled a bit. She belly-laughs like a nut when we do it. Is that weird? I need to get DH to video it so I can put it on FB.

[MarineWife]

oh, right. you told us your dh gets her all wound up. that's sweet, though. i'd love to see that video.

i got another reminder today of how much D like ryan. he was talking to D and left the room and D started full out crying. as soon as ryan came back, D stopped crying and got the biggest smile. ryan picked him up and i started to leave the room and D just smiled. he couldn't have cared less that i was leaving.

[AnnieA]

Isn't it funny how they prefer certain people? DD seems to prefer male faces over female faces. The other day in church, I had already gone up for communion and I was back in the pew. I had DD on my shoulder so she was facing the line of people going up for communion. She started acting all excited and I thought "I bet she's found some daddy in line to smile at her". Sure enough, I looked over and there was a guy making silly faces at her. She was grinning and waving her arms around. Too funny!

[MarineWife]

Yeah, I think D likes male faces more, too. Probably because he sees only mine most of the time.

So, I'm thinking I might pick up some bananas for D next time I go shopping. I was holding him while eating lunch today and he lunged for my food. I don't want to mush it, though. You'd think I'd know this by now since this is baby #4 but I'm not sure how to cut it so it's safe for him to play with. Do I just slice it or do I need to cut it into half or quarter slices? I'll make sure it's ripe so that it will mush easily in his hands and mouth if he gets it in there.

Or, do you all think that's a bad idea? I gave him a spoon to play with and he was ok with that, it seemed. He made a lot of noise over it but I wasn't sure if it was happy noise, working hard noise or annoyed that it wasn't food noise.