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My Mama DRAMA starter! - Page 2

post #21 of 23

I agree with csescky, lurking for a while is good. sometimes it's hard to hold off jumping in when you think you have found a good fit. Certainly there have been times when I joined something only to quickly realize I was in the wrong place.

But we all want to be liked and accepted for who we are I do think sometimes it's hard to come across the right way online when you don't have real world contact with the other people.  Yeah, people say stuff that comes across totally weird sometimes... not all of us are great writers and i know, for myself, sometimes I am tossing off my thoughts at the moment but then realize i have said something not quite how I meant it, and it could be taken really wrong. I am constantly writing, deleting, rewriting, and it still might not be right. Also, I think alot of people online are maybe not the best with social dynamics. IRL, I have good friends who "get" me, but it doesn't mean i haven't had to learn some social graces over the years, sometimes with difficulty. In a forum like this, we want to connect with others we hope we can relate to, but it is still an artificial environment (which there are plenty of IRL too) and yes, sometimes we really connect and know that we are really friends despite a lack of physical presence, but most of the time it's more like, in the real world, the people you say Hello to, chat for a few minutes, see at school meetings, the grocery store, whatever, but aren't the first ones you turn to. I just don't see the point in getting worked up over basically nothing. Now if someone does come in here with a chip on their shoulder for real that's one thing, but right now I think some people could stand to lighten up, and maybe try to be constructive instead of using putdowns. I mean, really, is that the way you parent? If not, than why does someone else younger and less experienced than you deserve it? Does calling names really make you the better person?

I am not interested in going to some other forum on some other sight just to have ammo to pick on someone here. Personally, I think that is trollish.

post #22 of 23


 

post #23 of 23

Spidermonkey -- K, I just read through the 1st post and through some of your other posts on that page.  I would like to make you feel better by stating that you are not alone.  I don't think you said anything that was out of line.  You stated your opinion as does everyone else.  I also think that people do NOT read key words, like *women that don't educate themselves" -- and so on.  If someone is reacting to that, I feel that it's most likely because they feel that perhaps they DID NOT educate themselves enough!   Besides, that's not on this board anyways so I'm not really sure how it's relevant -- that and it was about hot button issues!  The title alone says it all! 

 

You and I are bread from the same je ne sais quoi. 

 

Feel free to chat with me frankly at any time! I personally admire your ability to speak freely about things that matter to you and it seems to me that you did them in the right parts of the forum.  People are often too busy fighting for PC comments that they don't even bother gathering the context of your words and become blinded by their emotional reactions.  

 

I get a lot of flack for homeschooling my girls.  I also get a lot of flack for being a home-birthing mama.  I also get called crunchy a lot, and that is a weird term for me since I consider myself to be pretty suburban lol  Even though I don't say anything about anyone else's choices and answer questions only when they are asked of me, I get accused or singled out because other parents often feel that if I choose differently for my children because I feel that my research has taught me what is best for my children, that it directly affects my opinion of their parenting choices -- which it does NOT.  People have a VERY hard time separating those things. 

 

I am the ONLY homeschool/homebirth mama in my family.  It would never occur to me to think that my brothers or cousins are not good parents because they choose public school and elective scheduled c-sections and blindly swallow any pill prescribed to them without even reading the inserts.  To each their own!  Still, because I don't follow suit and defend my choices when they are questioned because I did so much research they automatically take that personally, as if my choice were an attack on their person.  I agree, scope the boards your on to see what kind of people are there and how you may fit in before you even consider talking about what is considered controversial issues.  

 

I have been MIA from all my pregnancy boards because I have had huge problems with my MIL this month  (Who works for a public school and is huge on taking drugs for everything) and considers natural parenting, home-birth and home-school to be completely wrong and even considers it child abuse, but out of all the boards I'm on, this is my favorite one.  The women here have such a nice level of diversity it's totally refreshing.  My point is that I understand what you are going through.  Over the years I have learned how to edit/monitor the way I say things and tread carefully, especially with pregnancy issues and pregnant women, all of our hormones are raging right now so we are all bound to come off like lunatics at one point or the other -- and when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, we all want the same thing.  Healthy, happy, well educated and cared for children.  We all have THE SAME goal and we all take different paths to get there.

 

Now I probably sound like a raving lunatic -- I have been under SO much stress this month it's not even funny so my filter is broken right now too lol  

 

Lots of hugs. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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