timing agita--just need some reassurance/perspective

[oikophile]

Is anyone here trying to time when your baby is born (e.g., certain month or time of year)?

I am currently in the middle of the 2WW--this is our second cycle TTC. Been charting using FAM for about a year (sorry, no FF account). Never been pregnant. The reason we are trying to time for the summer is this: I have a 10yo stepdaughter who lives primarily with her mom 3 hrs away during the school year--she's only here about one weekend a month, sometimes a little more, but no longer than a few days at a time. During the summer she is with us for a few weeks at a time.

My SD has 2 younger maternal siblings who were born at home, so naturally she got to be there for their births. She has told us that if we were to have a baby, she'd like to be here for the birth, and we'd like to have her here, too. So the summer seems like our best option. But now I find myself totally fixated on it, like summer or bust. We already missed out on July, so after this cycle, the summer window has closed and we'll have to "settle" for the fall. So the stress/anxiety of TTC really comes down to that for me--otherwise, I am 29 and my partner is 30 and we wouldn't be in an enormous hurry.

I'd really appreciate hearing from other folks who've tried to play the super-micromanaging odds. Is this just a completely futile endeavor? If you didn't get to have your baby at the time of year you wanted, was it really that big of a deal in the end? I just feel like no one else has to deal with this particular stress--the probability of your older child simply not living in your home or even the same state when your baby is born

[Jaimee]

No advice to share about timing, but I did want to say that if you're interested in sharing your charts FF is free and easy to use.  Jump into some of the TTC threads for more support and good luck!

[anyalily]

I have a sense of urgency because of the time of year, but I am finding that the sense of control is an illusion. We get the kids we're supposed to get, when we are supposed to get them. Everyone who is TTC wants a baby immediately, but sometimes it just takes a little while...

Could your SD do home study and stay with you guys for your due month, if it happens to fall during the school year? I would try to relax about it. You may find that you are glad to have the house to yourselves if she can''t end up being there. Things will turn out as they should.

Good luck!

[oikophile]

Thanks, Jaimee. I have been using iPeriod--when I started charting I didn't know FF was the standard around these parts :) If there's an easy way to migrate all my data I'd love to know.

anyalily: Thanks for your gentle reassurance. You are so right about the sense of control being an illusion. The midwife I saw for my last well-woman exam said she sees this a lot, especially with women who've successfully being using birth control for years before TTC--they're used to having control over their bodies and everything else in their lives and it really throws them for a loop to learn that they simply can't control the TTC process very well after a point. This has definitely been the case with me.

My SD is actually homeschooled, but I can't say whether she'd be able to be with us for that long of a time during the school year. Both of her parents would have to agree to it, and that doesn't include me. Something else I don't have control over :)

[Jaimee]

Originally Posted by oikophile 

Thanks, Jaimee. I have been using iPeriod--when I started charting I didn't know FF was the standard around these parts :) If there's an easy way to migrate all my data I'd love to know.

I don't believe there is a way to import your data from another program.  But there is a mass data entry function where you can enter data for like 10 days on one page instead of each day individually.  I just sucked it up one day and spent several hours while watching TV entering my old charts (which I had on paper), but I won't lie- it took a while to enter over a year of charts.
 

[tolovemercy]

I have had pregnancies that were shocking and sudden and unexpected.  I have also had pregnancies that took several months of trying and missing and planning and obsessing and didn't happen when I thought they should have.  In the end, no, it doesn't matter.  When you do conceive and then meet your baby, the month that you had wanted him/her to be born will seem so trivial.  It only seems urgent now.     Anyway, I do understand your sense of urgency.  Just know that it will all work out the way it should, one way or another.  

[oikophile]

tolovemercy: I just saw this--sorry for not responding after you posted! Thanks for your kindness. I got a positive HPT result yesterday--due in early November. Not the summer at all, but I'm excited and hoping everything will work out one way or the other. 

[oikophile]

tolovemercy: I just saw this--sorry for not responding after you posted! Thanks for your kindness. I got a positive HPT result yesterday--due in early November. Not the summer at all, but I'm excited and hoping everything will work out one way or the other.