I am only 6 weeks pg.
A few weeks ago my dog died very suddenly and very tragically. About a week before I got a BFP. She was my shadow and my whole heart. I cry over her every day- sometimes just a few tears, and sometimes full-on sobs. This might sound strange if you're not a "dog person," but this is the biggest and hardest loss I have ever faced in my life by far.
I'm also having a really tough time at work. A lot of stress and uncertainty and, frankly, BS from my maybe-evil boss. I am literally in knots about that. Having trouble sleeping, a lot of obsessing, completely flummoxed about how to handle things and overwhelmed. Fuzzy thinking.
I also had a lot of trouble with my last pg with nausea and sickness, and that has started again (earlier than before.)
So I'm basically a trainwreck. I don't remember ever feeling this stressed and unbalanced in my life. I cry multiple times a day. I'm full of rage.
Am I hurting my baby? I can't imagine this is a healthy environment to grow a person. I feel toxic and poisoned from the inside out.
And if this is hurting my baby, what on earth should I do about it? I cannot bring my dog back, I cannot make my boss into less of an a-hole, I cannot make my work environment less toxic or less stressful, I cannot make myself not feel nauseous 24/7.
Has anyone else tried to grow a baby with a broken heart and a broken spirit and had it turn out ok?