Is this aggression, cluelessness, playfulness or what?

[dcgrl]

A little background: My son turns 4 in a few days. he stays home with me, we don't do preschool. He's an only child. He has a couple of friends that he plays with regularly.

Yesterday, our friend came over with my son's best little friend and her 6 month old baby. We see them usually once a week. Midway through our visit, baby was on the floor in the living room, and my friend, her 3 year old and I went into another room for a minute, leaving my son and the baby in the living room. about a minute later, we heard crying, and we went into the living room and my son was lying on top of the baby. 

I was horrified. the baby is OK. but why would my son decide that it would be good to lay down on a baby? He's really sweet and doesn't display aggression--doesn't hit, kick, scratch, bite. I've been trying to figure it out. I asked him why he did it, and he said it's because he likes her. 

He had a little bit of gross motor delay, and I've been trying to get him to enjoy being more physical by playing "rough" on the floor--so he jumps on me, and I flip him over, we wrestle a bit. I wonder if he was trying to play like that with her? 

I never thought I'd have to teach my 4 year old that we don't lay down on babies. And now I feel like my friend won't feel safe with her baby around my son. :(

[pbjmama]

I don't think this is a huge deal. It was inappropriate behavior, you corrected him and he understands now that baby could get hurt? He is 4 and not around babies alot, he was trying to tell baby he likes her and didn't know how. Was there more to it that you think it might be aggressive?

[lovesea]

I second the pp's view that it's not a big deal. When my second child was born I was horrified when I went to investigate why the baby and dc#1 had gone so quiet to discover that ds was 'cuddling' the baby ie lying on top of her (she was in her carseat). The baby was thankfully fine but there was a valuable lesson there for me never to leave them alone unsupervised for long. Just 4 is still very young, and a baby is not safe around a young child if they are not supervised.

[SweetSilver]

Originally Posted by lovesea 

 Just 4 is still very young, and a baby is not safe around a young child if they are not supervised.

This is what I was going to say.  Totally age appropriate, not aggressive.  Just, not safe.  Hopefully your friend will see it this way too.  I think she will, especially since you would be pretty much saying that you will never allow your son to be alone with the baby again.  

[gcgirl]

Originally Posted by SweetSilver 

This is what I was going to say.  Totally age appropriate, not aggressive.  Just, not safe.  Hopefully your friend will see it this way too.  I think she will, especially since you would be pretty much saying that you will never allow your son to be alone with the baby again.  

ITA. NOT a good idea to leave a 4-year-old alone with a baby. Yikes! Guess you both learned something. ;) That's totally normal behavior for a 4-year-old. 

[weliveintheforest]

I agree it sounds normal.  I wouldn't take all the blame for leaving them alone together, if I were to leave my baby on the floor and leave the room, I would know it was taking a risk.  I hope your friend also agrees it was no big deal!  It shouldn't take too much to teach your son how to be safe around babies.  Maybe just bring it up now and then when you see babies... "aw, how cute! we have to be so careful when we hold such young babies, don't we?"