Old Mamas - welcome and intros « Back to Group Discussions

[mamarhu]

Welcome

I was picturing a broad group here. Older Mamas in the sense of stages of parenting as well. No minimum age limit, but issues accompanying age: menopause, parenting teen and adult kids, grandparenting, retirement. Like that. Any additions, ideas are welcome.

I am 54, ElderSon is 30, a single Dad in the Army, raising Figlet, 5, and TheBoy, 3, 3000 miles away from me. I cared for the babies when they were tiny, and miss them ALOT! My Dumplings at home are BigGirl, 16, and YoungSon, 15. I also was a foster/pre-adoptive parent for 4 years recently to LittleGirl, 11, and LittleGuy, 9 and they left a hole in my heart. My bios were mostly unschooled, fosters were in public school.

I work as a parent advocate to families with kids with special needs, especially autism and mental health issues. I love, love, love my job.

My mom is 93 years old, and is my best friend. We are looking at end of life issues with her, in a mostly accepting, peaceful way.

Okay, that's enough introduction for now. Please join in so we can get to know each other.

[MariaMadly]

Hi!  I'm a 48 y.o. SAHM still getting used to an empty nest.  DS1 (22) is in his third year at school and DS2 (18) started this past August.  I'm an only child trying to find a cheerful balance of availability and boundary-setting with my 81 y.o. mother -- a sweet lady, but she'd love it if I spent countless hours with her day after day, and I'm way too hands-off to stay sane at that level of interaction.  DH is active duty military working locally, and we have a low-key dog who's happiest around Her People.  So, that's me:  defining myself by who's around me and working on what's next.

Very glad to be here!

[raksmama]

Thanks for starting this thread!  I was just turning 40 when I had my first who is now 13. I think he was really a gift. I had a full life before and got to do many things as well as a lot of traveling, so when I had him I never felt like I was missing out on anything when I stayed home with him. I loved it!  knowing myself, had I had a child in my 20s, I would have felt very restless as if  I were missing out. That is just the way I was at the time. I needed to get it out of my system.

My only regret having him so late is that I was unable to get pregnant a second time. I love being a mom and would like to have had more!

Edited by raksmama - 12/6/11 at 11:30am

[mamarhu]

Help, you guys! We need a co-leader for this group. My impression is that it is a pretty small, low-impact commitment. Please someone, step up!

[Buzzer Beater]

I'll do it happily.

[enkmom]

Hi all.  I have 2 grown children.  My daughter E (22) moved to Lawrence Ks in October to be with her fiance, who is a graduate student at KU.  My 21 y/o son K is in his junior and half year at college about an hour away.  When my daughter left for college in 07 I focused so completely on my son that I have spoiled him in ways my future daughter in law will never forgive me for .  I did struggle with empty nest for a while, but am loving this new part of my life. 

[gardenmommy]

I'm probably one of the younger mamas here at 38, lol, but I sure do feel old in comparison to many of my peers.  I have 5 children, ages 13, 9 (10 in a month), 7, 4, and 20 months.  I often feel out of the norm having a teen and a toddler, and everything in-between.  I homeschool, except DS1, who is in a private school atm.  I am always happy to hear words of wisdom from mamas who are walking a similar journey, or who have btdt.  

[Linda on the move]

Hi,

I'm Linda and I'm 46. My DDs are 15 and 13. I've been a SAHM until recently, but now I am working part time. I would like to be working full time, but that hasn't happened for me yet.

I think my body is starting menopause, which is fine. I'm sure I'm 100% done having children. I don't care for the hormonal/emotional swings, though.

I'm happily married to my kids' father, and we seem to be the only couple we know we are still together. We are both starting to feel a bit old as 50 gets closer, but we just joined the Y together and are also checking into taking some dancing lessons together. We are taking time to find new ways to have fun together.

I'm feeling really burned out on raising kids and running a home, and while I can see the finish line, it's not here yet!

[raksmama]

Yeah..... my periods suddenly stopped  3 years ago never to come back again.

That was my menopause!

[CatsCradle]

Okay, I'll bite.  :)

I'm 48 and DH is 62 and we have a five year old!  DH and I work full time outside the home but we have managed to create some kind of happy balance.  DD, being the only kid of weird, older parents, is a little bit weird herself, and we love it!  I probably would have been a decent mom in my youth, but I think that I'm a much more relaxed person now and probably a better mom for it.

Physically, I feel great (much better than I did in my youth when I tended to batter my body with too much bad food, drink and erratic sleep).  However, I feel some things changing with my body.  Over the last year I've been having incredible mood shifts, painful periods, missed periods, bizarre periods, etc.  The most disturbing thing that has happened with my body, however, and let me be frank about this:  I have zits.  Yes, people, ZITS.  Please, someone make them go away!  I know it is a hormonal thing because I suffered from it in my teens when my body was all whacky.  

I'm not sad about these changes, though, and actually look forward to post menopausal life.  I've never been one to celebrate the menses or elevate them to any spiritual level, so when they're gone...I say good riddance!  

[Buzzer Beater]

Hi everyone,

I recognize a lot of your user names from around the board. I have probably imagined most of you as much younger as I was reading your posts, because I always assume I am older than everyone else here.

I am 47 and have an 18 month old dd. I also have a dd in her junior year of college (different dh). These years in between I believe have made me a much better mom I think, at least more patient... and ever so grateful for the days I get to spend at home with dd2.

[Tigeresse]

Hello Ladies,

I am just about to turn 49 and have 4 kids, ages 19, 16, 12, and 8. Been a SAH, homeschooling mom all this time, but broadened my horizons over the last several years by becoming a yoga teacher and singing in a woman's octet. Been heavy in the throes of peri the last year or so...hoping there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. My mom was done by 50, hoping that is in the cards for me as well!

Although I sometimes miss the days w/lo's around, I do love parenting my older/kids/teens/young adults. I do enjoy getting to relish the fruits of my labor (not that I'm done) and spending time with these wonderful people!

[member234098]

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Edited by member234098 - 5/27/12 at 4:20pm

[raksmama]

I am so happy to see some of the long time members posting here! In general I've felt like a lots of mamas have left.

The only "problem" I have with menopause is sleep. I fall  asleep just fine but wake up a few hours later and can't get back to sleep. It is not every night.

[mata]

Hi everyone-nice to find this spot-I'm 47 and have 11 and 8 year old daughters. I homeschool them, and we live in southern California. I claim NYC as my home, though. Pre kids I was a yoga instructor and am a Reiki Master.  I have a great husband, a load of animals, and my 66 year old widowed mother moved in with us recently. Perimenopause, aging parent, hormonal skin, sleep issues, yep-I deal with all that. ;)

[member234098]

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Edited by member234098 - 5/27/12 at 4:16pm

[mamarhu]

My mom lived with us for 5 years, until 2 years ago when her needs got higher than I could handle with 4 kids, 3 high needs themselves. Also, the chaos level around here was increasing, just as her need for peace and quiet grew. She felt isolated and vulnerable when no one was home, and although I homeschooled and didn't work out of the home, there were many times she was alone for hours. Now she lives in a Personal Care Home right up the street. They have 24 hour staff, and can meet her needs better than I could. I drop in several times a week, and we are still best friends. She is 93, and still near 100% alert, although physically pretty slow. She goes out to the shops or to get her hair done independently on her electric scooter, makes jam every year, and maintains many friendships. She is pretty amazing, if I may shamelessly brag!

We have always talked pretty openly about her death, making jokes and plans in a healthy way. I know I will be devastated when she dies, but she has had such an amazing full life, I think it will almost be OK.

[Daffodil]

Hi, I'm old!  I'm 49, but I had my kids late, so they're still fairly young - 6 and almost 9.  I'm not really looking forward to turning 50 or to menopause, which seems to be approaching.  My cycles are getting weird and I've started occasionally having hot flashes.  No mood changes. fortunately.  My mom had her last period at 50, so I expect it will happen somewhere around then for me. 

[sparklefairy]

I'm "only" 39, and my kids are 11 & 13. I joined b/c I agreed with the sentiment that someone posted about having "aged out" of MDC -- though for me this is based on my kids' ages and my own experiences than my age, I guess. Anyway, thought I should say hi since I joined :-)

[34me]

I'm 44.5 as of yesterday ;-).  Kids are 17 (18 in 2 weeks), 15 and 13.  I have worked their entire lives much to my regret but I put DH through school, then had to pay back student loans.  I regret so many things I did.  Yelled to much, too much plastic, too much crap food.  Ah well....