Old Mamas - welcome and intros - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[Dar]

I'm 43, Rain is almost 19 (!). I swear I don't feel old - I think I look better than I did ten years ago. Rain is away at college so I'm dealing with the empty nest thing, although I've had a succession of (platonic) roommates while she's been gone... we seem to know a lot of temporarily lost souls who need a place to live, and I do better when I don't live alone - and the extra money helps, too.

No menopause yet, although my periods seem heavier than they used to be... my body saying, "Come on, one more kid, we can do it!" In a way I'm sad that I only had one, but I can't imagine doing it all again....

[Lenore K.]

Hi, Folks!

I am a 52 yr old mother of a 7 yr old girl. I had her at 45. I also have a 32 yr old son, a 31 yr old son and a 24 yr old daughter. I stay at home, help a bit with the home business and homeschool our daughter. My oldest son gave me two granddaughters, ages 3 1/2 and 1.

I joke and tell people that I was tired of waiting for grandchildren so I had my own! Those who know me, know I am kidding. Those who don't? Well, it is funny to see their reaction - they just aren't sure. Usually I just avoid the whole age topic until it really is part of the conversation.

Still have my periods. There has been very little change until more recently. The changes are still more slight than what I hear others are going through. We'll see how it goes. I figure I will let my body do what it needs to do unless the symptoms are extreme. 

I am technologically challenged. I was a gremlin in a past life or something like that! I visit mothering.com community on occasion, trying to find "a spot" or two! I may have found it!!!!

Edited by Lenore K. - 1/6/12 at 7:48am

[Buzzer Beater]

Hi Lenore!

Welcome to MDC and our old mamas group.

I had my last one at 45 as well, she's about 20 months now. I've had some double takes having a little one at my age, and when I'm out with my oldest dd they think dd2 is hers. She's really quick to let people know she is not the mama.

[mamarhu]

Originally Posted by Buzzer Beater 

I had my last one at 45 as well, she's about 20 months now. I've had some double takes having a little one at my age, and when I'm out with my oldest dd they think dd2 is hers. She's really quick to let people know she is not the mama.

Hee-hee! A few years ago, when my grandbabies were staying with us, people were never sure if I was Mama or my then 13 YO DD. We loved letting them wonder.

On the other hand, I once was nursing DD, then newborn, at a park bench, and some well-meaning stranger asked if she was my 1st grandchild!

[SuzSaver]

I'm 51 my parents are no longer living -my father just died in October. My DD1 is 31 this year and getting married in May,and DD@ just turned 14,unfortunately idolizing her sister,has just promised to marry her boyfriend when she turns 18,and has moved into his families home threatening that if I make her return home she will run away where I'll never see her again. So right now its me and my father's cats whom I inherited. 

[dbsam]

SuzSaver, I'm sorry about your father's passing. 

I'm 47 and have two seven year olds - a boy and a girl.    My husband turns 50 this year.  We've been together 24 years.  We are starting to feel a little old. 

Regarding menopause...I sort of feel like I've gone through it my entire life.  I have pretty severe PCOS and didn't start having periods until after I had my children at age forty.  So...I no longer have hot flashes, etc. but now I get all the monthly cycle symptoms.  I don't think I missed much all those years!

[McGucks]

Hello Fellow Old Mamas!

I am glad to see this group.  I will be 42 this summer and feel pretty darn old some days.  I have a 16 1/2 year old son from a previous marriage and a 23 month old with my current husband.  I am a SAHM until this fall, when I will go back to work full time teaching children with disabilities.

I do have moms my age that I hang out with and I'm really grateful for them.  Some of the mom things I attend are full of women so seem really young and I'm delighted to have friends in my peer group who are experiencing some of the same things I am.

I do not, however, have any friends with children with such an age spread.   DS1 is a junior in high school and it has been very hard for me.  All of my same-age (or close) mom friends IRL are first-time moms. 

Thanks to the volunteer mods for agreeing to head up this group!

[mamarhu]

Greetings and welcome!

I have the same age gap between my first 2, although my youngest are teens now. ElderSon now describes his teen years as "the ultimate lesson in birth control". Now, at 30, he has 2 preschoolers of his own, and calls me for parenting advice.

[motherhendoula]

I have the same age gap - I am 42, my first is nearly 17 - a jr. in HS, then my second DS#1 is 13 - in the 8th grade, then i was divorced, single for a while - then remarried and now have an 18 mo old DS#2.   My DD was asked - by several people - if my 18 month old was HERS.  She was pretty aghast...

I have the same separation in my family of origin - my sister and i are 4.5 yrs apart,  then when i was 15 my parents had my first baby brother - then 20 months later had ANOTHER baby brother!  YES, that was a huge wake up call in terms of birth control.   I very distinctly recall learning to drive stick shift with my 8 month preg mother in the car - and toddler brother in the car seat in back....and now i am teaching DD to drive with her brother in the back seat. 

My DH is pretty adamant about not having any more, although i think i would be OK with more - i realize how lucky i am that DH is working 2 jobs so i can be a SAHM to E.  I never had that chance with the older ones and i relish every day. 

[mamarhu]

When I had the grandbabies (Figlet was 2 years and TheBoy was 2 months) then 13YO DD was often asked if she was the mom.

[sundaya]

Hi, what a cool group!! So looking forward to having a minute to read everyone's intros and threads here!

I'm 44, gonna be 45 in September, and have a 23 year old DS, a 3 year old super-spirited DD, and a 8 month old DS, so I got a bit of everything going on all at once. No grandchildren (yet) and DS is really not on a good road right now, so hopefully that one will wait until he's ready.

Oops, my quiet time is over (the LO's were playing quietly together, but that is, alas, done)

[RitesForGirls]

I'm new to socialising and sharing on the internet. Someone said, "Find your tribe."  So that's what I'm trying to do - find my tribe.  I wonder if it might be here?  So yes, I'm an older mother, or at least I don't feel old but I remember when I was a girl that 46 was definitely old!  I'm mother to four children, three living - aged 13, 9 and 6.  But it's passing so fast.  When they were little it could sometimes feel interminable but now they seem to be slipping through my fingers and I can see that all too soon they will be grown up.  I want to enjoy every minute of it.  Thing is, I often seem compelled to such busy-ness that I fear that I don't make the most of it.  Or I'm too bothered by an untidy, dusty home, when perhaps I could be taking greater pleasure out of being home with our three children.  I home educate all three, which mostly I love.  Actually, I feel immensely fortunate to have a husband in work, able to support us all to be home and learning together.  I expected to be a career woman, so I'm slightly bemused to find myself so besotted by motherhood.  I think I'm a better mother to somewhat older children than when they were babes or toddlers.  We live near Forest Row in the south of England where I feel really settled, which again is a bit of a surprise as I was quite a traveller in my youth.  I value the sense of community that comes from living in the same village for most of our children's lives.  Much as I adore spending my days with our children, I finally answered a strong pull to pick up the threads of a work that pre-dates motherhood, and is more of a passion than work.  Now I am really struggling to balance it all - developing my website for mothers supporting their daughters as they come of age, running adolescent girls' groups, home educating, and staying on top of the dust balls.  I know that I cannot keep up this pace.  You'd think that by now, at my age, I would have the wisdom to know the value of having a good night's sleep and not taking on too much.  I seem still to be able to get away with it.  I watch my parents slowing down now though; both in their seventies and beginning to experience certain restrictions of age.  Both alive still, I'm lucky.  I've even a 97 year old grandfather!  As for me, I'm happy to let the grey hairs show, I don't mind the wrinkles around my eyes, but I don't feel at all ready to lose my monthly cycle even though we have no intention of more children.  I thought I should be glad not to have to bother with it, but now that it's departure may be just around the corner, I realise that I take reassurance from its arrival each month that all is well; and I like the rhythm that it gives to my life, even though it's never been terribly regular. So that's me for now... what happens next?

[mwglenda]

I'm new to forums, so somebody tell me if I'm not doing this right. 

I read the description of this group and could relate to a lot: kids moving out (though it will be a while before it's an empty nest here, 4 still at home 7-14), body changes, life changes.  It's a special season and I'm so grateful for it, even the challenges it brings.  Hoping to make some connections with other women for support through the challenges!

I have 6 children (7-23).  The oldest are 21 and 23 and have recently moved out on their own and it's a really bittersweet time for me.  I'm so proud of them, but I didn't realize how much I would miss them.  They are just great, fun people and I miss hanging out with them.  I'm busy homeschooling my other 4 and I'm a homebirth midwife.  Balancing that with relationships, home, etc can throw me off sometimes...well a lot of times.  I find that something always suffers and it's usually housework.  And then I beat myself up for it.  Anybody else in that boat, lol?

[Denise-Marie]

I am new to this group. I am 52 and a grandma of a 3 yr old and mom of 25 & 28 yr old. I am a childcare expert being in the field of early childhood education for 30+ years. I love kids and have a passion to teach communication, interpersonal and leadership skills to children and their parents as well as childcare professionals.

I am looking forward to getting to know other moms and grandmas here.

[mary3mama]

I had NO idea that this group existed!

But here I am happy to have found it/everyone.

I'm Mary, 47 yo mother to three. I had my first baby at 34, then the others at 38 & 41. I am the oldest of any of the moms I spend time with, even though my daughter is one of the youngest of those that play with us (homeschooling group.)

I don't mind being with younger moms, not at all. But it does make me feel quite the crone. 

What else, we live in the Indianapolis, Indiana area. 

I am fiber-obsessed (knitting and spinning mostly, with a little bit of crochet at at times.)

No one believed I was as old as I am until my hair started really turning grey in the last 2 years. But I'm ok with that. 

Not sure what else is important about me, but ask away if I've forgotten something. 

[mamarhu]

Hi Mary, and welcome!

I wish we had met earlier. I went to Indianapolis earlier this summer for ElderSon's wedding, and would love to have met for coffee or something. After years of quilting, I have switched to knitting, and have become quite sock-obsessed. I have never made anything else, but I have silk, merino, and alpaca socks so far. Can't wait for winter to show them off. The Indianapolis Children's Museum is the coolest place in the world!
 

[mary3mama]

Originally Posted by mamarhu 

Hi Mary, and welcome!

I wish we had met earlier. I went to Indianapolis earlier this summer for ElderSon's wedding, and would love to have met for coffee or something. After years of quilting, I have switched to knitting, and have become quite sock-obsessed. I have never made anything else, but I have silk, merino, and alpaca socks so far. Can't wait for winter to show them off. The Indianapolis Children's Museum is the coolest place in the world!
 

 Thanks!

Oh, rats! That would have been fun.

I started knitting a few years ago and quickly became addicted!

I make loads of socks -- I have developed my own 2 @ a time toe-up pattern. I work mostly with wool and wool blend yarns, but also LOVE alpaca. They are not socks, you know....alpaca yarn creates FOOT OVENS. They are the warmest, most wonderful socks on a cold winter's morning. 

My recent foray into drop spindling has had the exact result I expected...now I'm addicted to that too, and making plans to learn how to use a spinning wheel. As budget allows I see a wheel in my future. 

The Children's Museum is an awesome place! I've lived in multiple cities, including Bethesda, MD, and yet never found any place that is its equal. 

[lauren]

saying hello

Just thought I'd say hello. Honestly, even though I'm a mod I hadn't checked out our new Groups so was pleased to find this one. Sometimes feels a little odd being an older mom (49) especially with my youngest (7) being in school and her peer's moms being around 27. We have a 17 1/2 yr old, a 14 1/2 yr old and then our 7 year old. I'm facing a lot of concerns that I see on the list here, so great to see this group!

[PacificMar]

Like a number of the sage mamas in this group, my spouse and I have a big age spread between our children: we adopted our daughter a year ago and she's now 21, and we're expecting a baby in late November. I'll be 41 when he or she is born and my husband is 50. We had fertility problems and had been married for 17 years before succeeding with this little one--yay! Our daughter, Katey, is excited to be a truly big sister: all of the enjoyment of a sibling without the hassle of having to raise the squirt. 

Older parenthood runs in my family: my grandmother was 45 when my mother was born (her only child); my mother was 34 for me and 36 for my brother. My parents are now 85 and 76 and are doing well living independently, but my mother is becoming increasingly disabled (she now gets around primarily in her wheelchair, although she uses a walker in the house), and I've reminded them multiple times that they are welcome to come live with us when they feel they're unable to keep living on their own. However, my mom is very active in her community (they are both retired teachers and she teaches at the teachers' union retirement center) and has many friends, so she is not eager to move (they live on the East Coast and we're on the Oregon Coast). 

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending upon how you think of it, menopause hits late in my family; my mother was in her late fifties before she had her very last period. This is so pesky--another ten or fifteen years of menstruation?! (That's been one of the nicest things about pregnancy: not having a period!)

What I anticipate appreciating about older parenthood is the greater level of patience and understanding we now have, as well as the fact that we are established in our work lives--and we can bring our offspring to work! What concerns us is that because our parents are aging, they won't have as much time to spend with their grandchildren as they would've if we'd been younger when we started our family. We do have some concerns about not being as energetic in our 40s and 50s as we were when we were younger, but they're not huge concerns, as we're highly physically active and perhaps fitter than those half our age. (We ride our bikes to work, 24 miles round-trip, and my spouse regularly challenges younger riders in Lycra--and often wins!)

[mamarhu]

Nice to see you around here, Lauren. Funny, I never think of people's ages when we meet on other forums. That's not even true - I sort of unconsciously assume everyone on MDC is 20 or 30 years younger than me!

And Welcome, Pacificmar! I had never thought of older parenting as running in the family, but we have done that, too. My grandmother was 40 when Mom was born, Mom was 39 for me (I am her first), and I was 39 with BigGirl, 40 with YoungSon. I also had nearly adopted a sibling group, ages 8, 8, 9, and 11 - that was only a year ago; when they came they were 3-6. And my grandbabies (from ElderSon) lived with me, and for a while it looked like I might raise them. Wow - I just realized I will be 70 when TheBoy (grandson) graduates from high school! May be a good thing I am not raising them!

Anyway, welcome!