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~ DECEMBER 2011 INFERTILITY ONE THREAD ~ - Page 8

post #141 of 267

I'll do individuals later, I just need to post about something. I'm 7 dpo and I'm having horrible cramping. Much worse than period cramps, and both hips and my back in that area are sore all over. Has anyone experienced this? Maybe implantation pain, but is it supposed to hurt so much?

post #142 of 267

Shesaidboom- That's exactly how I felt. I was very glad I had been put on bed rest for the 3 days after transfer and I ended up giving myself 2 extra half days because of the level of pain. I'm not guaranteeing that that's what's happening, but it is a strong possibility.

post #143 of 267

 

I'll try to do personals later, but just wanted to post a quick update that I'm pretty sure I'm out...my temp dropped yesterday, and when I took another test the line was a lot fainter than it was on Saturday (which was pretty dark). It's even lower today (just below my coverline), and I'm feeling a bit crampy. I'm pretty sure it's over. I'm avoiding taking any more tests until I see if either AF comes or if my temp goes back up tomorrow. I know I probably still have a slight chance, but I think it's pretty slim.
 
It's rainy and awful here today, and I really just want to curl up in a ball and not do anything. I know that I'll be glad that I even had a cycle, and it probably is best that my body cleans itself out (after months and months of no cycle)...but it still sucks. Especially because, dangit, that line was dark on Saturday. And I was actually starting to get excited about how to tell our family on Christmas. :(
 
[Edited to add: Yep. AF is here.]

Edited by chicajones - 12/12/11 at 7:39am
post #144 of 267

Chicajones:  Big hugs sweetie!! I"m so sorry!!! I was really hoping that this one would stick!!! I am praying that you heal fast and get another BFP soon!!! THinkin about you!!!!

 

AFM:  Found out that my insurance will be thru Cigna.  Had anyone ever delt with them before?  I'm use to having Blue Cross Blue Shield and i'm wondering how different their coverage will be.  I do know that my RE is one of their "prefered" doctors but my OB/GYN is not and that sucks because i'm supposed to go in for my yearly check up in January.  I'm also worried about getting my reduction covered now because i don't know that my plastic surgeon is on their "prefered" list too.  Plus i think their deductable is like 2x what i'm use to paying for a year AND i don't know how much my co-pay will be for my outpatient surgery.  They may also have to reschedule me again because i don't know that they will cover me at the surgery center now.  I think i'm going to call my aunt who does insurance billing for that building and see if she can find anything out for me :)  I hope everyone has a blessed day. It's really cold and gloomy here in Alabama today so i'm not in the best of moods!!!

post #145 of 267

chicajones - I'm so sorry! hug.gif It sounds like you did get pregnant,it just didn't stick. Which really stinks. But it is a hopeful sign - your body did it! It ovulated and got pregnant! Hopefully your body will decide it liked ovulating, and do it again next month, and you will have a sticky bean. hug.gif

 

shesaidboom - Ugh, not fun! I don't think I had any implantation cramping (or maybe I did, who really knows?), but if I did, it wasn't that painful. Hopefully it's just your twins getting settled in! winky.gif As far as chinchillas, both species (didn't know there were two until now!) are listed as critically endangered, according to Wikipedia (fount of all knowledge!). Apparently, there are a lot of commercial breeding operations now, which I didn't know, but wild chinchillas are pretty scarce. Most of my chinchilla facts come from my summers teaching zoo camp. We have a chinchilla that is one of our "handling" animals (the kids get to pet it), so I've heard the same 5 chinchilla facts a lot of times! Oh, and my friend's LJ name is babyslime. She's not a RL friend, but someone I've known via Star Trek message boards since I was in high school. (Yes, I am/was a giant nerd.)

 

cbaa - You must have been posting as I was typing my post last night. Sorry your follicles aren't growing as fast as you like, but hey, they are growing! I don't think I had any follicles bigger than 11 or 12 my first ultrasound of my femara cycle. Those dang things took forever to grow! But I'm sure yours will keep going, and it sounds like your estrogen is doing good things, too. Hoping for good things Tuesday! Still almost 2 weeks till I get to see my nephews. greensad.gif But I really shouldn't complain, I'll still get to see them when they're less than 3 weeks old!

 

deborah - Sorry you feel icky, but glad that it's at least reassuring to you! When do you have your next ultrasound? Do you know when you'll be switching to an OB? (Or did you do that already?)

 

boots - Sorry you're feeling so worried! I definitely relate, and yeah, some of the stuff in the DDC is like... wow... what would it be like to be that sure that this pregnancy will result in a baby so early on? That's one reason I haven't made a ticker yet - I always look at the tickers that are at 3 or 4 weeks and think, "Well, that's a little early to be so gung ho, isn't it?" I really am trying to be optimistic about this pregnancy, but I'm also really afraid of being hurt. But somehow I don't think it will hurt any less to lose this baby if I stay cautious. So I'm trying to embrace it. I probably would have broken down and told people sooner, but I want to tell our families in person, and we've been home a grand total of 1 day since my BFP, which was the day after I got it, so I've waited. Hoping you feel more confident soon! hug.gif

 

AFM, I kind of feel like crap. I woke up at midnight last night feeling queasy-ish, and I've been feeling a little queasy on and off since then. Plus, my dh seems to have given me his lovely cold/sore throat. Great. So my throat has this constant burning feeling, and my gag reflex is constantly being triggered a little. No amount of drinking water is helping. orngtongue.gif I also have felt a little feverish/achey. Bleh. At least what dh had seemed like it was pretty mild (and he seems mostly over it now), so hopefully it won't be like the Sick of Doom I got in September. I also managed to get into an argument with dh about having beta tests done. He wants to wait until after Christmas so if it's bad news it won't "ruin the holiday." He also doesn't want me to get the tests done in Denver because "we're on a ski trip." Umm... so what? Blood tests take like 10 minutes! Sheesh. And if I randomly start miscarrying before Christmas, holiday's ruined anyway. I'd rather know. I guess dh is a lot more able to just accept that everything's okay until proven otherwise than I am. And this is another reason I was so adamantly opposed to the ski trip - he objects to doing basically anything that isn't snowboarding 24/7. Anyway, I just need to let that one go. I do love my dh, and he is a very good husband in a lot of ways. We just have very different hobbies/vacation ideas.

post #146 of 267

Monkey- I have my next ultrasound tomorrow (and I think one the following week). I switch back to my OB early in January. Nausea is still in full force and I have major baby bloat today. Bummed that my prenatal massage got rescheduled to Wednesday as my back is killing me. It's never really a bad thing to have sickness unless it prevents hydration (and that's not the case here), plus with two babies we get double the hormones. Looking forward to week 10 when the placenta takes over hormone production. I will be 8 weeks on Wednesday.

post #147 of 267

Brichole- We have Cigna Great West and it is wonderful! I don't know how it is in your part of the country but they have covered most things and we've had very little to pay.

post #148 of 267

I do need to check on high-risk coverage though.

post #149 of 267

chica - I'm so sorry. It does sound like you were pregnant and it didn't stick. Please be gentle with yourself. hug2.gif

 

deborah - I'm hoping it's a good sign. I never expected it would hurt SO much.

I don't think I'd be able to wait the 12 weeks either. I love your announcement idea for New Years!

 

monkey - it's a small internet! I know who babyslime is, in fact, I hired her to do my wedding photos in June :)  I've read about the Star Trek boards in her journal too. Speaking of Star Trek, I have been wanting to start watching TNG from the beginning again, but it's not on Netflix or itunes and it's like $60 per season in stores. Sad!
Zoo camp sounds awesome, and look, I'm learning things too! That's sad that they're pretty scarce in the wild. They're such cool animals.
Oh man, twins. I honestly have a feeling that if I do get pregnant this cycle, it will be twins. I bet yours will be too, just to follow the trend in here ;)
I'm sorry you're feeling so icky and that you and dh aren't seeing eye to eye on the betas. I hope he gives in and lets you do what you feel is right. I'm on your side - I'd rather know!

 

bootvalentine - I can relate to what you are saying so much. I had a hard time believing I was really pregnant last time because it took so long to get there. If it's too hard, stay out of the due date clubs for now and post more here. Go slow and at your own pace. The fact is you ARE pregnant, even if it's hard to believe. Don't feel stupid about sharing. This way, you have more support and love during the hard early weeks. I know I can't say anything to make it easier for you, but I do relate. You're not alone. hug2.gif

 

renavoo - I so hope these are good signs and I am pregnant. I think I need to go bra shopping. Maybe a sports type bra would be easier on the nips! I can't wait to hear about your visit this Friday! Keep growing little twinsies!
You're definitely right about lenses being the most expensive part! I'm still only using my kit lens because I can't afford anything else. The lenses I want are all over $500 a piece! I did splurge on the external flash because I use it all the time. I definitely think photography would be a good hobby for you right now! We'd get some lovely pics of the twinsies once they're born then ;)

 

brichole - I'm glad you're not stressing too much this cycle. You could definitely use a break from all the stress! I do hope you get that BFP on Christmas though. What an amazing present that would be!

 

 

AFM, the spotting stopped and the pain has gotten a little better. Still cramping like crazy and praying that this is a good sign. One more week!

post #150 of 267

The only thing i'm worried about with it is the deductible is $1000 a year....and that has to be met PLUS i have to pay out of pocket 20% of the surgery when i have my reduction done IF the insurance will even cover my surgery...i've figured it and we will be out no less than $4600 for my surgery!!! BLAH i think DH is going to put me on his insurace as a secondary insurnace so I can be double covered and whatever isn't paid by my insurance should be picked up by his insurance!! I did notice that my RE was one of the doctors that is covered but only a few of the medications that i was on the last time are covered under their prescription coverage so i'm just lost!!!

 

 

On another HORRIBLE note for bringing me down today, one of my cousins who is 6 years younger than me just found out she is pregnant!!! She is 21, failed out of college, just moved in with her boyfriend who doesn't have a job, and she wasn't planning this AT ALL!!! My family tried to blame my weight issue on my infertility but my cousin is twice my size and is pregnant now so let them say that to me know!!!!! BLAH!! I just want to scream.  I want to be happy for her, i really do because any baby is a blessing, but why did i have to have 2 miscarriages this year and she and my cousin who kept having abortions have been pregnant this year!!! My other cousin gave birth to her little girl a month ago or so...she is the one who was on drugs almost the entire time she was pregnant with her first child and she miscarried 2 other times and had a least one abortion....sometimes life really doesn't seem fare!!! (ok, i'm done whinning for the day...i will just shut my mouth and try to play nice!!!)

post #151 of 267

cbaa, you are most certainly a rock star. I've been there and it really sucks. Kudos to you for keeping it together and not losing it. That takes so much grace and strength. 

gozal, how are you feeling? Sending sticky BFP thoughts your way...

renavoo and shesaidboom, I'm a total Canon girl as well! I have a Rebel T2i and love it, although I don't take nearly as many photos as I'd like (partially because it's so big, and partially just because I'm so busy). Also, Gozal, I second the Canon Powershots--I always loved the ones I've had. 

Brichole, Yay and double yay on all the job stuff! It sounds so wonderful and I am so very excited for you! I'm glad your shifts aren't too crazy either. Also, it sounds like it will be good for you to take it easy this month, but I definitely hope that you get a lovely surprise on Christmas morning! How much fun that would be. ;) I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so poopy about your cousin. It really stinks, and sometimes just seems so unfair that it's so easy for those whose lives are a wreck, and so hard for those who try and plan so hard for it.

deborah, so glad to hear your numbers are way on up! I hope you're feeling well and the sickness isn't getting to you too much. I love your new years announcement idea, very fun. :)

Monkey, how are you feeling? I'm so glad things are staying smooth for you. I hope you can get your blood test when you'd like to--it's too bad DH is being so difficult about it. I'm with you--I'd rather just know. If something's going to happen, it will, and sometimes knowing ahead of time makes it easier to prepare. Obviously I hope (and don't think) you will have to worry about it AT ALL, but I hope he relents and is fine with you going about things your own way.

boots, I hope you're feeling better. I know exactly what you mean about being scared. I feel like it's impossible to feel completely secure until your child is in your arms (although I think it's true that even then, you will continue to worry, always--part of being a mom I guess). I am sending hugs your way and hope that you're able to have some positive signs and feel more trust in your body.

Shesaidboom, I hope your cramping stays away, but glad to hear from deborah that hopefully it means implantation! One more week--yay! Be strong. :)

AFM, I'm feeling a little better than I did earlier this morning, although I know that the rest of today will still suck. I'm going to tell DH about everything when I get home today. I am glad I went with my gut and waited to tell him anything. It would have been so much worse if we had been celebrating together and then this happened. I talked to one of my close friends (who is a midwife) today, and she was really encouraging. You guys have been too--thank you so much for your kind thoughts and words. I really feel like my body needed to cleanse itself, and while I am sad and disappointed (especially because the timing on this would have been so wonderful). I'm also hoping, like Monkey said, that my body will keep some of the pregnant hormone levels around and decide that it's going to do it again. This time, in a better environment. I have a feeling DH and I will be BDing like mad around Christmas, which works out well since I have six days of vacation. So very needed! 

post #152 of 267

shesaidboom - Yeah, the internet is a small place! I'd totally have hired her to do my wedding pictures if I could have afforded to fly her to Texas plus pay for the photos! Alas, that was not in the cards. I'm still wondering if maybe dh and I might make a trip up that way and get some maternity shots, though. (dh was a missionary in Washington/Oregon, so he wants to take me there to see where he was.) I guess I missed the bit about bleeding - if you're having cramping and spotting, I'm definitely voting for implantation! I think it would be a little crazy if I were to have twins, since SIL just had spontaneous twins, and I haven't been doing any treatment. Spontaneous twins aren't supposed to be that common! But I would definitely take twins. orngbiggrin.gif

 

brichole - Hope you can get the insurance sorted out! I need to get the insurance info from my dh so I can try to see what providers are covered for me. And that's really tough about your cousin. It is so hard to watch that kind of stuff happen!

 

chicajones - I'm glad you're doing okay dealing with this, and we're always here for you, no matter your mood! It's cool that you have a midwife friend you can talk to. Good luck with the Christmas vacation fun!

 

AFM, I now have two birth center tours scheduled! Pretty excited about that. My throat is doing a little better, but I'm still really achey. And I am getting tired of the grey skies! But I did manage to get up the energy to make myself some yummy chicken salad, so I can eat that later on.

post #153 of 267


 

revanoo, how exciting you're having twins. Thanks for sharing your experience with anxiety. I think I will feel somewhat better after the first trimester, but someone said, really the anxiety is all part of becoming a mother. Although it will subside, the new sense of protectiveness is normal. I hope this is true. it doesn't make it much easier, though. Someone on another forum said something about meditation and affirmations and while that's not totally my thing, it sounds good right about now.

 

brichole, thanks for the congrats. I do hope once I see the baby I will feel better. But I can see what you mean, the next eight months are going to all about waiting!

 

Chicajones, I am so sorry. I hope you can find some time just for yourself. I agree with monkey, I hope this is a good sign for things to come. Thanks for the support.

 

Monkey, you are so right, a loss really isn't going to hurt less if I tell people vs. not, but I don't know, I am just a worrywart. I do find the DDC a totally different ballgame and I see why you started that thread for people who have been trying for a long time. I also think that I might start one for first time moms. It's such a different ballgame and I feel like some of the veterans aren't quite as understanding of the excitement and fear.

I hate to get all feminist on your DH, but I do hope that he understands since the baby is in your body, it's perfectly legit for you to want those betas despite the holidays. Not knowing would drive me crazy. So far I've only had to wait four days between betas and that's enough! I'm sorry you're not feeling well, I totally relate to that. I'm about to go on antibiotics for a sinus infection, and I've been queasy, although more frequent trips to the bathroom than throwing up. I am sick of it on top of the sickness. I am only eating really bland stuff. Ugh. Hope you feel better soon and we can start to enjoy our hormones ;)

 

Thanks everyone. I should get third beta results tonight.


 


Edited: Third beta results are good, over 1000. U/S is Wednesday.


Edited by iixivboots - 12/12/11 at 5:49pm
post #154 of 267

Yes, I'm bored today, sorry for so much from me! But I was just looking at our insurance coverage, and it looks like IF treatment is covered by dh's insurance! Even though the initially information we got says it wasn't. It doesn't cover IVF, but it looks like it would have covered a medicated cycle. Oh, well - we got the free baby, but dang, would have been nice to know! Also, doesn't look like either of the birth centers I'm interested in is in-network, though at least one other one is. The coverage all seems pretty decent, so far, even for out-of-network.

post #155 of 267

Glad everyone likes my idea! Chica- Glad you found a way to be positive. That will encourage a fertile environment .I believe the more positive a person can be the better the outcome. Brichole- I can definitely understand those feelings. I have been trying to think of a way to make it clear to people who are struggling that it wasn't easy for us (when we announce) without publicizing it to the world. Any ideas?

post #156 of 267

Deborah, I think it would be completely appropriate to mention that it's been a long wait, or that it wasn't easy, etc. I know when I've seen announcements where the couple mentions that, not only does it make me more excited for them, it also takes out some of the sting of "another pregnancy announcement" (and it's also encouraging, and makes me feel like we will be there soon too). I think that's a great thought. 

post #157 of 267

deborah - I might say something about "at long last" or "finally announcing", maybe. Or you could say your "miracle twins", though lots of people use the word "miracle" for all babies, not just the hard-to-get kind. (And ITA that all babies are miracles - some are just bigger miracles than others!)

 

AFM, after talking to my best friend (who is a doctor), it seems beta testing is out for me for the next few weeks, due to the technicalities of practicing interstate medicine. She would totally request the beta test for me, but since she is licensed in Missouri and the test is being done in Colorado, it's a no-go. Apparently you need a physician licensed in the state the test is being performed in, or in a state with reciprocity. At least I don't have to worry about messing with it any more. And at least I got to tell some IRL about my pregnancy - the first besides my dh to know. :)

post #158 of 267

Deborah: I agree with everyone else that adding something like "it's been a long time comin" or whatever the other ladies have suggested would be a great way to be able to be happy and cautious with others suffering with IF.  I think it's weird that i can be so happy for women here who post their BFPs but i get jealous IRL when someone like a friend or relative gets pregnant...maybe i'm weird.

 

monkey:  I hope that the rest of your trip goes well!!! Does your DH want to be able to tell the family at christmas or does he want to wait until the first of the year to tell anyone?  I know what a relief it must be that you were finally able to talk to someone IRL who is a friend and tell them you are pregnant.  It's sooooooo hard to keep stuff like that in.  We didn't tell my grandparents or the rest of my aunts and uncles the day we found out because it was Easter Sunday and everyone was gathered together for family time and i didn't know if we were going to stay pregnant because of problems i had had when i was younger with miscarriages.  We did tell my mom, dad, brother, sil, and dd#1 because I thought they should know.  Actually my SIL was the very first person i told.  I took a test at like 830 at night after shopping for east bunny stuff and i couldn't not POAS because DH had bought me a 3 pack of FRERs....so i took one when we got to her house and there was a little FAINT pink line...i thought i was seeing things so i went outside with her to get some stuff out of the cars and showed her the test and she said she saw it too so i wasn't going crazy lol.  I woke dh up the next morning with the news and another test that was a little darker than the first.  After we told my mom she was being cautious and almost didnt' believe me so she went and bought me a digi and made me take it at my grandmother's house lol.  Sneaking around in that house was fun because my mom also didnt' think we needed to tell anyone until we went to the doctor. Well, that lasted about a week and i finally caved in and told everyone we were expecting our first baby.  I'd like to go back on facebook and see exactly how i announced it to the world lol....it took us so long to even get pregnant so i think i was more in shock than anything.

 

Dh and i talked last night about the insurance problems and i'm going to be added to his insurance policy at the first of the year.  We both will be making more money come the first of the year so we won't really be missing any money if i;m added.  We will only pay out like $240 a month for family coverage and i think that's pretty good seeing as if we had a policy on our own we would pay almost that for just individual coverage.  I will still have to sign up for our insurance at work because i think its a requirement, but if i have 2 insurance coverages they should help cover what the other doesn't.  I also am praying that maybe this is all a sign and i'll get a bfp before i have my surgery and have to cancel it anyways!!! The best christmas present i could get this year is a bfp i hope i get it!!!! 

post #159 of 267

I decided to put "At long last, cautiously expecting two babies of our own!". It shows it wasn't easy but doesn't give everything away. Let me know what you all think.

post #160 of 267

Miracle doesn't really work for us because DH is an atheist and he'd be pretty upset with that terminology I think. I've been saying gift since there isn't really a religious connotation to that these days.

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