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post #101 of 123
2/20/12 at 12:51pm

Im tearing up typing this. 

I think Roland's weaning. he doesn't ask anymore. He used to push on my breasts and do this noise, like I imagined how you'd express a question mark without words. 

 

He hasn't done that in weeks. I'll offer if I notice he's not going down for a nap willingly or down to bed willingly. 

 

On one hand, I do NOT want to tandem nurse. He was SO demanding as a baby, VERY high needs. Even when I needed him to take a bottle- when I took a class, NOPE. Only ON TAP MOM PLEASE. 

 

And I miss nursing him but not how he nurses now where it hurts and there's no milk. 

I feel so guilty and rotten getting pregnant when I wanted to let him self-wean at whatever age he chose. :( 

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post #102 of 123
2/20/12 at 3:08pm

Nursing hasn't been so bad this time around for me. When I was nursing through my last pregnancy I was so uncomfortable and touched out, but not this time around. I've still got quite a bit of milk left, enough that I'm still feeling let down on one side and can hear her sweet little guzzly swallow, lol. Last time my milk dried up by like 12-14 weeks and I dry nursed for quite awhile. I had moments where things did get better but the discomfort never full went away. I'm not sure why this time is so much easier... either I'm more used to it OR my hormones are slightly different. I'm actually really looking forward to tandem nursing this time around.... Marah has the sweetest most perfect latch.

post #103 of 123
2/20/12 at 3:23pm


Quote:

Originally Posted by ilovetchotchkes View Post

Im tearing up typing this. 

I think Roland's weaning. he doesn't ask anymore. He used to push on my breasts and do this noise, like I imagined how you'd express a question mark without words. 

 

He hasn't done that in weeks. I'll offer if I notice he's not going down for a nap willingly or down to bed willingly. 

 

On one hand, I do NOT want to tandem nurse. He was SO demanding as a baby, VERY high needs. Even when I needed him to take a bottle- when I took a class, NOPE. Only ON TAP MOM PLEASE. 

 

And I miss nursing him but not how he nurses now where it hurts and there's no milk. 

I feel so guilty and rotten getting pregnant when I wanted to let him self-wean at whatever age he chose. :( 

 

I know how you feel.  I sometimes WANT DD to wean because it hurts and she just won't give up - she keeps going from one to the other as though one of them has milk and she just has to figure out which one.  It makes me sad to have those feelings because I WANT to want her to keep nursing.  On the other hand, if she CHOSE to wean now, it would be her choice, and her time to do so, so technically, she would be self-weaning. I know it's not totally her choice because she probably would not have weaned if I didn't get pregnant, but it is still a gentle and loving way to wean instead of just telling her no when she begs for it.  

 

Not a problem I have yet since DD is SO determined to keep nursing.  But I know that if (when?) she stopped doing that, I would have the same feelings that you do Tchochkies. 
 

 

post #104 of 123
2/20/12 at 5:13pm

My youngest turned two last Monday and I think that was her last time nursing. I feel really sad about it. Well, I have mixed feelings. Of course. I remember feeling this way when my oldest weaned...

 

The first month or so of nursing while pregnant was really painful for me. In fact, that's how I knew to take a pregnancy test. It was very unusual for me to feel that way. I really felt like I was suffering through it, yet A did most of her nursing overnight and at bedtime, so nightweaning was pretty much the same as weaning completely. My husband did take over a lot of nighttime stuff but would bring her to nurse on and off as she needed it. A few weeks ago she stopped expecting to nurse at night and started just co-sleeping with him a lot more. (He's on the couch because of my pregnancy insomnia.)

 

A week ago I realized she was hardly every asking and kind of reminded myself that I wanted to nurse her on her birthday so I could say she made it until 2. She nursed happily, but only for a minuet. I am pretty sure she has not asked since.

 

This was an unplanned pregnancy. I think I am partially sad because this is not what I wanted for her. I wanted her to have more time with just the two of us as a nursing couple. I didn't expect the pain and frustration I would feel nursing through early pregnancy. I started to resent it, and I never wanted to feel that way about nursing. Now that I think she's done, I might be able to get her to nurse more by offering, but I think I am in "don't offer, don't refuse" mode. She has never been as verbal as her sister, so I never got to hear her tell me how it tastes or how much she liked nursing like my older child (who weaned at 30-31 months) did. It's just really bittersweet. But I have noticed that she is going down MUCH more easily both at night and for naps, like just lying down in her bed and going to sleep (unheard of for this child) and she is also sleeping through the night, which she wasn't doing before. Both of those are good things that have made my life a lot easier.

 

Sigh...

post #105 of 123
2/21/12 at 8:21am

We have cut way back during the day.  Not intentionally, it just kind of worked out that way.  She'll try every so often, mostly when she's bored or tired, but gives up right away.  I'm guessing there's not much there.  I think she may still be getting something at night.  She doesn't go down nursing, but at some point in the night she'll stir and start reaching for it.  Since I'm able to sleep through it again I let her do it. 

 

I'm completely neutral on tandem nursing.  If we end up doing it, or not doing it, I'm fine either way.  Even if Elsa stops before the baby comes, I have a feeling that seeing the baby nursing will make her want to also, and since there will be milk again I can see her wanting to start up again.  I wouldn't stop her as long as I could make tandem work.

post #106 of 123
2/22/12 at 12:15am

I'm so sorry for those of you having a tough time with weaning.  It's such a special relationship--however and whenever it ends I think it is often really emotional, and that much harder when it feels premature or not how you envisioned things ending.  I know I'm going to be extremely sad if my daughter stops wanting to nurse because of the pregnancy.

 

It hasn't happened yet--I still get a "mama's milk" pretty much every time I come into the room. But tonight, when I was putting her to sleep (we still nurse to sleep) she latched on and then almost immediately starting wimpering. I kept trying to ask her what was wrong but she wouldn't/couldn't tell me and she didn't want to stop nursing or even change sides.. She just kept up  nursing and crying  until she finally fell asleep. The only time she's ever cried while nursing (since she was newborn dealing with my ridiculous oversupply), is when she's been really sick.  But she's not sick as far as I can tell.  I don't know if it was  a lack of milk or changing taste, or an inability to get comfortable as my stomach grows (she kept tossing and turning), or something completely unrelated.  What ever it was, it made me so sad. I'm really, really, hoping it was a one time fluke and not the start of a lot of unhappiness around the thing that she loves so much.   

post #107 of 123
2/24/12 at 8:02am

DS had his 2nd bday. I've cut back and even refuse him some now. My milk has pretty much disappeared. He's more crabby and clingy. Some days I can handle it and some I can't. But it is getting better - I think.  We're down to nursing to sleep, nursing to nap(he only naps half the time) and nursing in the morning.  I will also say 'all done' so that he's not just sucking for no reason.

post #108 of 123
4/21/12 at 7:49pm

How's it going for everyone? There hasn't been much activity on this thread for a while!

 

I think we are about done with nursing. I am a lot less sad than I thought I would be. Its been a couple months since I could express anything more than a glistening of milk. DS was still consistently wanting to nurse before nap and bed about 6 weeks ago, but if DH put him down to bed, he was fine, too. Then DS (now 21 months) spent a couple days at grandma's house when I was really sick and DH was traveling, and he got used to having a bottle before bed. I didn't want to do bottles when he returned home, but I saw just how happy he was with a full belly of warm milk, and realized that he was happier having a bottle of milk than essentially dry nursing. Before this, I'd been feeling like "if he decides he's done nursing, I think I am ok with that because this is way uncomfortable/painful" He still nurses once in a while, but now its maybe every 5 or 6 days or so. He rarely asks anymore.

 

This morning, he had a massive meltdown around breakfast time, and was tantruming/clinging to me in my lap/throwing himself on the floor, and would not tell me what he wanted. Finally he pleaded for a "boggle - milk!" and since I didn't want to deal with getting a bottle, I just offered to nurse him. He accepted and stopped his hiccup/crying, but after about 1 minute of nursing, he burst into tears, and cried "MILK! BOGGLE" So, dry nursing just wasn't cutting it in that scenario. 

 

I have to say, he is sleeping better, which is a relief to me, because I am just so tired, and sleeping later (he was getting up at 5:30) I think this is directly tied to his weaning. 

 

I'm sort of sad - I loved nursing him, and boy did he love his milk, but its just not there anymore, and I don't know, I just no longer have that "bountiful milk mother" feeling that I used to have, if that makes any sense. I'm looking forward to nursing the next one, and would be ok with him nursing again if he wants to. I don't know if in 4 months he will want to again, but the boy loves his food, so it wouldn't surprise me! 

 

 

post #109 of 123
4/21/12 at 8:00pm
I'm still nursing both of them, but very sporadically. Usually once every day or two, occasionally more often. I usually get an "all done" comment from them after a minute or two, which is new. Guess there's REALLY nothing left at this point!
post #110 of 123
4/21/12 at 9:36pm

My 2 year old ( turned 2 last tuesday) weaned a month ago. 

I asked him last night if he wanted "nee nees" and he said "no mama! moo!" (which is what we call milk). 

My husband got him the milk he drank it and I started bawling. I miss nursing him. SOOO much. 

post #111 of 123
4/21/12 at 9:54pm
My daughter refuses milk and nurses lots and lots even though there isn't any milk. My daughter has absolutely NO interest in weaning! We transitioned DD to her own room almost 2 months ago and everyone is getting a lot more sleep, which was the biggest issue with her nursing (she was waking to nurse every hour). We're going to tandem nurse.
post #112 of 123
4/21/12 at 9:57pm

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1stTimeMama4-4-10 View Post

My daughter refuses milk and nurses lots and lots even though there isn't any milk. My daughter has absolutely NO interest in weaning! We transitioned DD to her own room almost 2 months ago and everyone is getting a lot more sleep, which was the biggest issue with her nursing (she was waking to nurse every hour). We're going to tandem nurse.

 

I was going to, and then I wanted to back him off because it hurt SOOOO bad so we just cut back. He SELF WEANED the little booger, and I felt so guilty I tried unweaning him a few times. :-/

 

post #113 of 123
4/22/12 at 2:23pm

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovetchotchkes View Post

I was going to, and then I wanted to back him off because it hurt SOOOO bad so we just cut back. He SELF WEANED the little booger, and I felt so guilty I tried unweaning him a few times. :-/


 

I would be completely fine if DD self-weaned, honestly I sometimes hope she would.  She's just made it clear she absolutely will NOT, so I've moved on!

 

post #114 of 123
4/23/12 at 7:27am

I think we're done too.  At night she still kind of twiddles and whatnot but doesn't actually try to nurse unless she loses her binky.  If I give it to her she pops that in instead.  During the day she'll ask or pull on my shirt and suck a few times, and just look at me and smile around it and say "meek."  I plan on just letting things go as they will.  If she wants to go back after the baby that's fine with me.

post #115 of 123
4/23/12 at 10:22am

We are still nursing, but not as much.  A few weeks ago we decided to switch from her nursing to sleep to daddy putting her to sleep, and while I thought that might be tramatic for her she hasn't seemed to mind at all, and she is loving her bottle of milk (ironic given that she would never take a bottle as an infant) She nurses if she wants before heading up to bed, but it's hit or miss whether she wants to, and when she does I think it's mostly to procrastinate going to bed.  And she's completely stopped on her own accord demanding milk when I get home around 6, which used to be the immediate response to me walking through the door.  She still loves her morning milk though. She comes into our bed at 6am (another change--she's now sleeping in her crib in her room, with daddy next to her, until then) and then usually sleep nurses for an hour or more. Yesterday it was a full two hours! 

 

I'm glad she's not nursing to sleep anymore, since I didn't want her to be dependent on it when the baby came or if the milk ran out and it was getting increasingly painful and frustrating to get her to sleep that way as my milk declined, but otherwise, I'm still just planning on playing it by ear. And if she's still nursing when the baby comes, we'll give tandem a shot.  If you had asked me a month ago I would have thought her self-weaning before then would never happen, but seeing how much less interest she has in nursing over the last month, makes me think its 50/50.  We'll see. I think I'll be okay either way, although there will certainly be a part of me that would be very sad if she stops.

post #116 of 123
5/5/12 at 12:11pm

My daughter has started asking that I "try" to nurse the baby, and I keep having to demonstrate that my breasts don't reach my belly.  Hopefully, she'll be equally excited by the idea once the baby is out ;)

post #117 of 123
5/5/12 at 1:58pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebecca10 View Post

We are still nursing, but not as much.  A few weeks ago we decided to switch from her nursing to sleep to daddy putting her to sleep, and while I thought that might be tramatic for her she hasn't seemed to mind at all, and she is loving her bottle of milk (ironic given that she would never take a bottle as an infant) She nurses if she wants before heading up to bed, but it's hit or miss whether she wants to, and when she does I think it's mostly to procrastinate going to bed.  And she's completely stopped on her own accord demanding milk when I get home around 6, which used to be the immediate response to me walking through the door.  She still loves her morning milk though. She comes into our bed at 6am (another change--she's now sleeping in her crib in her room, with daddy next to her, until then) and then usually sleep nurses for an hour or more. Yesterday it was a full two hours! 

 

I'm glad she's not nursing to sleep anymore, since I didn't want her to be dependent on it when the baby came or if the milk ran out and it was getting increasingly painful and frustrating to get her to sleep that way as my milk declined, but otherwise, I'm still just planning on playing it by ear. And if she's still nursing when the baby comes, we'll give tandem a shot.  If you had asked me a month ago I would have thought her self-weaning before then would never happen, but seeing how much less interest she has in nursing over the last month, makes me think its 50/50.  We'll see. I think I'll be okay either way, although there will certainly be a part of me that would be very sad if she stops.

 

I did not think my son would stop....ever. He's down to every other morning. That's it. Before I got pregnant, I was still bfing through the night and all day. He turns three at the end of the month and we've talked about him being done with milk by his birthday. He still "asks" for milk every night, but never wants it. We just rock in the rocking chair and sing to get to sleep. I'm sad that we aren't really nursing anymore, but I'm also strangely okay with it. I nursed him for almost three years, which is a pretty good accomplishment for me since my goal was only two. 

 

He's also sleeping in his toddler bed in our room instead of in the bed with us, but some nights he has nightmares and will come into the bed around 3 or 4am. It's crazy how grown up he's becoming! Though, to be honest, if I told other people I know that my son was still in our room, they'd wonder what the hell was wrong with me for not kicking him out sooner. They're just not on the same wavelength. :P

post #118 of 123
5/6/12 at 12:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sallyrae17 View Post

 It's crazy how grown up he's becoming! Though, to be honest, if I told other people I know that my son was still in our room, they'd wonder what the hell was wrong with me for not kicking him out sooner. They're just not on the same wavelength. :P

 So true.  It's what I love about this DDC. You can actually have conversations about these things without having people question the basic premise. 

post #119 of 123
6/24/12 at 7:40pm

How's the nursing/not nursing going for everyone? 

 

My DS (22 months) is either done, or on prolonged hiatus from nursing. Every once and a while he pulls on my shirt and asks "Mik?" and if we've just gotten done showering, and I don't have a shirt on, I'll offer if he wants to try. He sometimes does, but barely latches, and then will give me a funny look. I tell him he drank all the milk, which he seems to get!

 

I really wonder if when I get my milk back in, if he will want to nurse again. I also really wonder if *I* want to nurse him again! The idea of tandem nursing sounds kind of cool, but also sort of hard at times, and I wonder if I want to introduce that complication into my life when I am trying to take care of 3 little people. I also sort of feel like each of my older two got their own undivided nursing attention, and that this new little one ought to have that, too.  

 

And another thing.... he's definitely "latched" onto the idea of having a bottle of goats milk before both nap and bed. Its an unbreakable part of the going to bed ritual. I am getting really sick and tired of dealing with bottles... cleaning, storing, making, etc, plus goat's milk isn't cheap! I'd love to get rid of the bottles, but feel like its sort of unfair to do so if I would have been willing to nurse him this long, and maybe he'd really rather nurse, but he's just putting up with the bottle right now since I'm dry. *sigh*

post #120 of 123
6/24/12 at 8:25pm

Even more rare. One of my little ones asks for "Mommy Mama" (what she calls nursing), latches on for literally 5 seconds, and then pops off with a big smile. I doubt they'll really restart the nursing relationship, but I think it's worth having them still practice occasionally in case I get engorged!

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