Dingos bustling through December - Our running* thread - Page 9

[sparkletruck]

Jaygee - depending on where you go, and if we're here, it is definitely a possibility to come for a meet-up. I'm always down for a road-trip!

Nic - I'm not being flip; could you do them all? Could you do three. I would try to do as many as I could, even if it meant I was slammed for a few months. I think all sound so interesting, and because you dont know where any of them might lead, even if its "just" the benefit of networking for friendship and community, I would put my feet into as many pools as I could manage. Really, can you make a list of interest and do as many of the top ines as possible? It doesnt sound like any one of them is full-time. Am I crazy? Maybe. Shake things up girl!

Jo - my mom is relatively fine. Her cancer has not spread, at least as far as she understood the prognosis, which is something I always have to consider, b/c her take on reality is more often different then everyone elses. It is in her intestines. She will have surgery and radiation, and then we'll see I guess.

Lisa - seriously. indeed. Is there a longer term effort to work on communication? It seems like you chalk it up to depression (has he been diagnosed) and then he gets a pass to treat you like crap and model horrible behavior for your stressed kids. Maybe something in the direction of Nic's footprints? Sigh. Im so sorry you have to shoulder so much all the time

Plady - yeah. what would that letter say!? How is C doing these days, and how do you think the mood stuff relates to the hormone stuff? That was a not insignificant coincidence, no?

Melw - that school thing sounds interesting, but more for you to take on. I would hope that you have plenty of support lined up so that you are not just getting piled on ;hug

NRR: That's all I have time for, for now. Oh, Nationals, IF DD1 gets invited from Divisionals, are in C. Springs. Good for me b/c I can drive. Early March, dont know if or how I could swing a meet-up...

more later

[Nickarolaberry]

Sparkle I think you might be on to something. I"m going to pursue a bunch of different avenues and see where things go. I'm also looking at some private Montessori schools here with middle school programs to find out if anyone has a job possibility. It's interesting...I did not feel like I was 'in love' with my job last year but the truth is after educating in an alternative environment it is so, so hard to go back to the traditional school format which feels so inflexible and unresponsive to kids' needs.

I made a mistake last night with dd1. I don't know if you all remember when my friend in NY's (then) 10 year old son passed away in his sleep a few years ago? And they went on to have a Torah written in his memory, and started an amazing children's library center in town in his memory. Yesterday was his Hebrew birthday, so his mom sent out a request on facebook for people to do a mitzvah (good deed) in his memory...so I said to the kids at dinner that we were going to say some psalms and also dedicate our Torah learning to his memory for the day. Well that was fine but I had never really explained to the kids what happened. I started to explain and realized my oldest dd who is extremely empathic and sensitive freaked out and started sobbing, having an anxiety attack that someone was going to die in their sleep, etc.  Oy, bad mommy. In the end I just said, you know we do all that we can to keep ourselves healthy, make sure we get regular checkups and eat healthy foods, and we have to remember that G-d is in charge of the world and we don't control that, and just do the best we can.

Maybe not the best response but the only thing I could come up with. Sigh.

Anyway, Real, I did find this past couple weeks that the appts. plus the fact that I am stronger and more assertive with my needs/opinions (although not in an abrasive way...mostly) has made for a better equilibrium with dh. Not that all is 100% well but it's definitely better. The outside neutral assistance is extremely helpful. Extremely.

Love you mamas.

[Realrellim]

sparkle & Nic--I hear what you're saying, but among other things it's not practical right now. I have a lot of thoughts, but I'm going to take them to the email group so I don't hog this thread.

And thanks to everyone for listening to me vent.

[sparkletruck]

Nic - yes! I know Montesori is a mixed bag - successful for some, not for others - but I love the diversification, and thought of it when MelW mentioned her DD beig frustrated b/c she wanted to do multiplication in K... Ive been thinking about what a high school eng. lit. curriculum would look like modeled on Montessori methods... Right now my Ds' teacher ("junior El" = 1-3 grades) is trying to figure out how students can go on field trips based on their individual interests, that parents chaperone (trying to figure out the legal/transportation issues). Another mom said "I love montessori b/c its like having your kid home-schooled by someone else"

Geo - meant to say I the poem idea. And it reminded me of something I wanted to share with you b/c every time I see it on my fridge I think of you: DS (1st gr) was studying density. He drew a picture of the experiment he did and wrote "i put the puff balls in the sand and the steel balls on top But wen i tipt it Back and forth it turned to the opasit"

Now must get stuff done...

[Plady]

Sparkle - For SIL.  What a hard way to begin to look forward.  ANd fingersx for your mom's diagnosis being what she thinks it is.

Real - Big for you.  Re: the 'real letter' in your case for instance, instead of something like, "We celebrated R's birthday this year with a nice cake and blah blah blah" it would be "We tried to celebrate R's birthday but DH threw a tantrum and made wild accusations at me which caused the birthday girl to dissolve into tears and make me wonder how much longer I can continue acting like this is acceptable behavior from an adult before I go ballistic myself.."  The past few days my cynical side has been at the helm.  I know there have been lots of nice times this year and I'm pretty good at editing for positivity but if I didn't this year has been mostly difficult emotionally for everyone except Ali G.

Nic - I really like the idea of trying out as many possibilities as you can.  You just never know what doors you'll find yourself opening and that's pretty exciting.

Jo - You can start over  with me!  I'm really feeling all those muscles that haven't been engaged in too long.  Yesterday I decided I'd do lunges and squats until I couldn't and I basically got through two sets of each before I felt all wobbly and pathetic.  But, I'm really determined to stick with it.  40!  Looming on the horizon!  I want to hit it like a Dingo, proud, strong and ready for anything.

[tjsmama]

It's graduation day!

I am going to be a mushy, sentimental wreck today, I fear, which may be embarrassing. Sigh. Oh well.

rr~Whoop, whoop! It was slow and kind of ugly, but 3.5ish miles in yaktrax on entirely too much remaining snowpack is done (seriously, we haven't had snow in over two weeks. WHY is it still hanging around???)! Time to get showered and pretty.

[Realrellim]

Originally Posted by tjsmama 

It's graduation day!

Congrats!

on entirely too much remaining snowpack is done (seriously, we haven't had snow in over two weeks. WHY is it still hanging around???)

I'd thought I'd head out with the stroller this morning, but it's only 36* and breezy at almost 1 pm, so no go. This is why I have a treadmill, right? I'm guessing this means I'll need yaktrax tomorrow too. R's going to a friend's birthday party at a karate place that looks to be mere blocks from the Clear Creek trail. I was thinking I might try to squeeze in a run along that trail while she's there--but what I've been envisioning is this summer's dry trail and not a snowpacked and icy one. Westminster plows its trails so things probably aren't too bad in my neighborhood, but I have no idea what they do in the Wheat Ridge area.

Off to hopefully grab the books on hold at the library, coffee, drop J off at my sister's and head to one school holiday party.

Tip of the day: making the toll house pan cookie (with the necessary DF modifications) and then trying to use cookie cutters to cut out cute shapes as not as good of an idea as it sounds.

[MelW]

Sparkle, hugs to you and your family. I think that being forewarned and able to consult and plan before the birth is a wonderful gift.

Gaye, congrats and have fine today!!!

Plady, "hit it like a Dingo" I love it.

Nic, I agree with mommajb that non-RN LC opportunities are rare, except in private practice which involves a lot of marketing/networking and time and money to make work. But I love the diversity of your list, and agree with Jo that combining a few could be ideal.

Real, your DH is being unreal (bad pun intended). Hope he smartens up soon.

Life has me running like crazy, but I need a run. Hoping for tomorrow.

[LaLaLaLa]

Sorry I've been gone this week; my kids gave me their nasty cold and I've been trying really hard to get rid of it by not doing anything physical at all.  It hasn't gotten worse, so I still have hope.

Sparkle--I'm so sorry about your SIL.

Real--I'm furious on your behalf, and hope that something can be done with your childish husband.

Gaye--Congrats on finishing school!  Good luck on the interviews.

Zub--I'm still thinking of you and hoping that next year is much better than this one.

We're winding down to Christmas, and it will be nice when it's over.  I'm feeling worn out and stressed, made worse by the fact that I had a massive fight with my boss.  I wait tables for a little extra money, two nights a week.  Last time I worked I was asked to do something, declined, and figured that was the end of it.  My main manager, who wasn't there at the time, heard about it and took major punitive steps and wrote a venomous email that included name-calling.  I tried not to poke that bear, but I couldn't stop myself.  I wrote an equally scathing email back (minus the name-calling, but probably equal in derisive tone).  I'm expecting there to be major fallout, and am trying to decide if this job is worth fighting for, or if I should just go down in a blaze of glory.

The week before Christmas is not a good time to push me.

[sparkletruck]

Real - I'm gong to go out on a limb here and question the EBF--not the practice specifically, but how it fits into your life right now. I'm wondering what your intentions are behind the choice, especially to do so sometimes every 20 minutes. I wonder, if you think you are doing it to comfort her, or for security, if learning to depend on nursing every 20 minutes is security? I'm not against ebf-ing at all. I did so until 30 mos. w/ DD2. But all along I had the *plan* that I would do it as long as it worked for her and ME. At 24 mos. I was *done* with doing it on demand, and told her it was just for sleep, so that's how she went down for naps and bed, than after 6 mos of that I was *done*, and just cut her off. I know all bf-ing relationships are different, and all kids are different; I am so not judging. It just seems like it takes a lot out of you and I'm not sure what your intent is, and if you see that intent being realized? I also wonder how much of your caffeine intake, cortisol levels, and metaphysical state are being transferred to her through bf-ing? I always found that my mood was reflected in my bf-ing kid. What are you getting out of it? What is she getting out of it? Could her sleep issues be related?
Edited by sparkletruck - 12/16/11 at 5:24pm

[Realrellim]

sparkle--I think she's seriously overtired and possibly also teething. Or making another developmental leap. Likely all of the above. R had periods when she did the same thing. I don't usually drink coffee except the occasionally decaf. And frankly, I don't think it's me. I think it's her. R never slept much (still doesn't), and any developmental stuff meant she slept less. She did better with night waking because, I think, DH was in the bed so there was a warm body there. DH now sleeps downstairs, so the warm body factor is missing (he sleeps better with more space; I sleep better without his restlessness and it's not so crowded if it's only J and I vs all three of us). I want to nightwean and have started, but mostly that's all on me too.

In addition, J's just started telling us about stuff she finds scary, so there may be some anxiety playing into this too. I haven't really thought about it because she is very mellow compared to R and her anxiety disorder (not exaggerating the disorder part), but when we were at a Christmas lights show at the Butterfly Pavilion last weekend, she thought all the giant lighted butterflies were scary and there's a number of other things she's mentioned lately too.

And she's using the potty too. We had a good 6-hour stretch where she kept her training pants dry this week. (We're doing a combo of diapers and training pants based on whether I'll be able to remember to take her to the potty on a regular basis. Most of the time she tells us as she's going or just after it, but does fine if I can remember to offer regularly. That may sound crazy, but I'm really sick of washing diapers and she's very happy to sit on the potty.)

I'm hardly committed to EBF (I wasn't convinced I'd even nurse R for a full year and if someone had told me that I'd nurse her for 4-1/2+ I would have thought they were looney tunes), but this another one of those "I think this is a passing phase, even if it's really intense and miserable in the middle of it."

And maybe a growth spurt too? Most of her dresses suddenly look too short this week.

Also, I'd never try weaning a kid in December for what I hope are obvious reasons....

Once we hit January and things return to normal, we can reassess.

It's also entirely possible that many of the issues in my life are self-inflicted. I'll have to ponder that.

[sparkletruck]

Ah. I hope you didnt feel criticized? I had the wrong impression -- it just sounds like its taking a toll on you and I wondered if you were getting out of it what you want. Sounds like you are. I dont know about self-inflicted, it just sounds like you are taking it from all sides

[Plady]

Self-inflicted definitely seems like the kind of term your dh might like to try on you but it's not a Dingoism!  I wonder if the EBF is affording you and J both a needed place of intimacy even though it might be taking an additional toll on you.  I think you're probably pretty topped out emotionally and weaning is hard under the best of circumstances.  I wouldn't consider giving it up unless it always makes you feel restless and bitter to be needed that way and so frequently.

RR: So sore today!  I didn't run in favor of grimacing through every movement and working on painting the kitchen ceiling.  I did talk to my old RP about getting back to biz though and so I'm hoping that I'm just switching out today for Sunday morning.

[1jooj]

Real  Major ones. I wish I had solutions.

Plady, yes.  40 is around just one more bend, and I just got this awesome haircut that totally shows off my gray (and no, I am not coloring it!) and how-bout-that there's a lot of it! I want to match my awesome hair with strong arms and legs and abs, and get on top of the hormone-carrying flubber. I know just how to do this, and must simply pull myself from the deathgrip of inertia. A Dingo can do this.

Gaye, congratulations. It seems (to me) like you just started, and here you go already, graduating AND two interviews lined up. Really, really awesome.

Nic, fwiw, I don't think you made a mistake. There are things in the world that will make us choke and sob and overreact because they are horrifying and confusing and scary. You never know how an individual with react to something, and I think you did fine, and in time she'll work out that balance, understanding that it's our job to do our best to take care of ourselves, but there is only so much control we have. Frankly, if she can internalize this idea in a non-horrified way, she'll be way ahead of where I was coming into adulthood. Hugs. On the work thing, like sparkle said, do as much as you have time/energy/presence for. It may turn out none of these will themselves be the next chapter, but any one of them could open the door to the thing that is. Lots of contact with many people. Will also help you feel more at home where you are.

Having my coffee. I did manage to haul everyone out for a walk last night. Apparently, we got invited to the crazy-fancy beachfront wedding (chief of police's son, and this chief of police is internationally known) at the last minute, but it was 8PM, I really would have rather showered and put on some mascara or something, and I didn't even have a clean abaya, much less a properly fancy one. Not to mention, what do you buy a billionaire's son for his wedding? 

Dd is done with fever and has a terrible cough, and needs a break from medicine. I now need to (again) convince dh that cold medicine has zero effect on the status of the virus in the body. He truly doesn't seem to understand that. I know, for such a smart guy, non-plant biology seems really to throw him for a loop. It's weird. Anyway, too long on cough medicine has made her vicious and mean and nasty and noisy and awful. And totally in my care for the next three weeks. Time to come down hard.

First full Saturday off in weeks. No riding, no football, no school tomorrow. Kids can get their share of sleep and we can make something nice for lunch. Sigh.

[bec]

Real - I don't have the answers for you.  I know you are having such a hard time, and I have thoughts that I'm having a hard time putting into words.  But, I can help with the lost toy.  Totally not Christian here (for all that I celebrate Christmas), but there is a prayer that has worked every.single.time something is missing.  You have to really feel it.  "Dear St. Anthony, please come around.  Something's been lost that needs to be found!"

[tjsmama]

Tomorrow, I promise to be less all about me.

My favorite picture from graduation (can you tell that DS was D-O-N-E at this point? )

[bec]

Awwww, Gaye, you look so beautiful!  DS looks like he's ready to go run around for a while!

[JayGee]

Look at you, Nurse Gaye!!!!!  Love the picture and congratulations on a job very, very well done.  I know you're going to be offered one (if not both) of those jobs you're inteviewing for!

Real ~   Self-inflicted?  I think NOT.  The Dingos got your back, Mama.

Jooj ~ that haircut sounds super-cute.  I wish I had the will to let my gray grow, but I've been coloring my hair since 1993.  I'm kind of scared that I'd look like my Mom (she's got a full head of white hair); works when you're 72, but not so much at 43.

Lala ~ that doesn't soud fun at all.  Or professional on the part of your boss.  Hope it blows over.

RR ~ riding my bike in the basement this morning.  It's way too cold out to run. /weeniehat

NRR ~ the kids Christmas party last night went GREAT!  Including my own children, we had13 kids here, ranging in age from 5-10.  They ate pizza, decorated sugar cookies, jumped on the trampoline (even though it was 25 degrees out, played indoor soccer in the basement, rode scooters in the basement (apparently invented a version of Scooter Quidditch), and generally had a blast.  I think DH and I may make this party an annual event.  After all, adults get to have Christmas parties every year, why not one for just kids?  And at night too, to make it feel more "grown up"! 

Today, gymnastics for DD2, a soccer game for DS and a party for DH and me tonight.

[Mel38]

Gaye! Congratulations!! You look lovely, and I am so happy for you!

Real: You definitely might be on to something with the growth spurts! I hope it eases out really soon. Major hugs to you.

JG: Your party sounds like it was fantastic! You have fun at your party tonight.

Jo, sorry about the sick kids. I hope your Saturday is restful and relaxing. We are really looking forward to the Christmas market, too, even though the one in my IL's town is kind of small and ... not so beautiful. Maybe we can drive somewhere like Regensburg that holds one in a castle. We went there when my DS was tiny, and although he was miserable and we didn't get to stay for long, it was sooooo beautiful. The kids would love it, if we can swing it time-wise.

BTW, my shorter haircut also highlights my grey, which I am pretty much ok with (well, except for the Thanksgiving photo of me and my family where it looks like I have a skunk stripe on the side of my head...)

La4: Oh, that sounds awful. I hope that you are not agonizing over this too much, and that you feel alright about your reaction, because it sounds like that person was completely out of line. Stay firm, don't let him get away with that stuff!

Plady: Yay for reconnecting with your RP! I hope it works out.

Sparkle: Wow, nationals? That's exciting!

I just found out that I was not really following the Galloway plan as closely as I thought I was, so I plan to order the book and really do a better job in January. Turns out, you aren't supposed to build in the walk breaks right from the beginning, but rather somewhere a few miles into the run. Otherwise, I really am looking forward to getting back into the pool in January, too, because my arms/shoulders are losing tone and feeling kind of flabby.

Off to pack!

[LaLaLaLa]

Jo--I'm sorry your DD is still sick and the cold medicine is making things so awful.  I hope she'll be on the mend soon.

Real--I'm sorry things are feeling bad at the moment, and it's good that you aren't attached to an idea (EBF) that you recognize might not be workable in the long term.  I agree that December is a lousy time to make major changes, though.  Most of the people I know, including me, are at the breaking point with some aspect of their lives right now.  Here's hoping that we are all able to make some changes in January that make our lives smoother.  In the meantime, .

Gaye--Great picture of you at graduation!  I'm so happy for you and hope that the job interviews go well.  Congratulations for building your life into exactly what you want it to be!

JayGee--The party sounds great!  I'm glad the kids had such a nice time, and it sounds like they all managed to get along really well.  You're a good mom for letting them have a grown-up party like that.

Things are actually fine here.  I went into work last night unsure if I would have a job.  My main manager was there, the one who had sent the nasty email.  He didn't come near me or speak one word to me the entire night.  The feeling was entirely mutual.  There were three other people who were also recipients of the nasty email from our boss.  One of the girls gave up last night's shift but the other was there.  I guess both of them also wrote email responses, and the one who was at work last night with me said she also thought she'd have no job when she arrived.  The guy who was involved thought the whole thing was kind of a joke.  He gave me a high-five on my way in last night.  Our reduced hours punishment is only a week-long thing, which wasn't clear at first.  My poor manager who writes the schedule, who had nothing to do with the conflict but who had to be the one to change our schedules to punish us, was also there.  I thought she was going to cry when she was talking to me at the end of the night, and I had to reassure her that my angry email had nothing to do with her and I just included her to make sure she was on the same page as everyone else.

Argh.  The whole situation is ugly, but since my main manager is apparently pretending that it didn't happen, it's not as ugly as I'd thought.  He's a hothead who got mad and wrote something in a fit of rage, and now he's decided to ignore the fallout from that choice.  If it happens again I'll go over his head to our regional manager, with whom I have a good relationship, since he's the one who hired me eight years ago and worked with me for years before he was promoted.

Seriously, I don't do drama.  I can't believe the whole thing.

Anyway, I'm ready to move on.  I think I might go out for a run and then start planning for Christmas Eve.  We're hosting here and I need to figure out what I'm cooking and think about how much I can make in advance.  Tonight there is a nearby town that does a sing-along of Handel's Messiah.  This has been a tradition for my family since the time when I was too young to go, and the one thing that represents Christmas magic for me.  We're meeting my parents and aunt and uncle and cousins for dinner beforehand and then going over to sing.  I hope that my kids are willing to stay for the entire thing.  Last year we had to leave at intermission, which meant we sang my favorite (For Unto Us a Child is Born) but we missed the Hallelujah chorus.

Thanks, as always, for the support!