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PAL support (pregnancy after loss)

post #1 of 53
Thread Starter 

For those of us who have lost babes, here is a thread where we can talk about our concerns and anxieties. This is my 5th pregnancy (I've had 3 first trimester losses) and I have one healthy babe. I know I can grow a healthy baby, but my body sometimes isn't so sure. I know that there was something wrong in each case where I miscarried, but it gets disheartening after a while. I hope that all of us who have had losses have a sticky babe this time around!

post #2 of 53

This is my 4th pregnancy: 1 healthy little boy, two early miscarriages.  I'm hoping 4 is my magic number!

I was recently diagnosed as hypothyroid, so I'm *hoping* that it was the reason that I m/c'd - now that it's fixed, I should be able to carry to term again.

post #3 of 53

Hey ladies. I had an early loss back in 2008 and I've just gotten up the nerve to try again. I pray daily for a sticky baby this time. Sending you all sticky vibes!

post #4 of 53
Thread Starter 

I hope both of you ladies have full term babies! I was just going through my calendar and realized that my due date for this baby is the same date that I found out I was pregnant with my last miscarriage. How's that for weird? In other words, with my last pregnancy, I found out I was pregnant around the 14th of August and that's my current due date (a year later, obviously).


Anyone else have any weird coincidences like that? I'm hoping it means good luck!

post #5 of 53
I got a BFN with a FRER this evening, so now I'm confused...
post #6 of 53

Ive lost 5 over the years, and birthed 5 beautiful boys as well. My last loss was in May. A part of me is excited, but another part is definitly trying to NOT be excited, as if that could help me not be so affected by another loss. Im scared but hopeful.

SallyRae, I do actually. My first loss was at 20 weeks. Two years later my son Bailey was born on Destiny's EDD. <3 So, a day that once was sad was turned happy.

post #7 of 53
Thread Starter 

JelloPanda- Did you use the same kind of test you've been using all along? The only thing I can think of is that the test you used needs more hcg to be positive. I know that I can be positive with one test and negative with another. Also, testing at night with more diluted urine can cause a negative. Was your other test done right away in the morning? The only other thing is a chemical pregnancy, which I hope isn't the case. Let us know how everything goes. Maybe take another test right away tomorrow morning.

post #8 of 53

Sallyrae - It was a false positive, AF just came.

post #9 of 53
Thread Starter 

Aww. I'm so sorry JelloPanda. Hopefully next month will be your month!

post #10 of 53

It won't - we're done TTC until 2014.  
Good luck, and H&H 9 months to you all :)

post #11 of 53

hug2.gif Jello

post #12 of 53

Jello :hug:


This is my 7th pregnancy. I have 4 kids and 3 losses (yes, I have twins).


I feel good about this one, but I won't totally relax until baby is here safe & sound.

post #13 of 53

I woke up this morning and felt good - less nauseous, no cramping, my boobs weren't as sore and I was able to go to the bathroom easily (something I've been dealing with the last two weeks).. so of course I got really nervous and anxious.


Well - my nausea came back and I realized my boobs were still pretty sore.. so I guess all is well. Whew.


I know my nervousness is related to my loss... but I'm trying to relax.. Only 20 more days until my prenatal appt. I just have to make it to 8 weeks.. and then I'll set a new milestone. 


I totally understand what you mean Justmee

post #14 of 53

This might not be the best thread for this, but it seemed a little appropriate. I've read through quite a few MDC boards and find so many women who have gone through miscarriages. And I honestly had no idea how frequently these occured. This is my first pregnancy, but I have developed a slight paranoia that it could happen to me. (I first had fears that I wouldn't ever get pregnant, even though there was no medical basis.)


The sadness of miscarriage I can't imagine. How do you folks get beyond the fear?

post #15 of 53

Willovia, I think you have to work through it on the level that makes the most sense to you. It's a natural part of being a mammal; that's helpful to some. Statistically, you probably won't miscarry; most confirmed pregnancies are carried to term. That's comforting to some. On a spiritual level, some people believe that everything happens for a reason, or if they believe in God, that God has the big picture in mind with each challenge. On a purely practical level, you can only control what you can control, and stressing about a what-if isn't the healthiest mental state for a pregnant mama. That helps some mothers to kind of relinquish the grip on the fear. It just depends. 


For me, with my first and third pregnancies ending in early miscarriages, it's not so much a fear that this pregnancy will end in miscarriage as it is a sad reality that I can touch in my mind from time to time. I don't dwell there, but I do kind of spend some time with it, if that makes sense. I've found that making peace with my worries and fears is a way for me to relax and let them go.

post #16 of 53
This is my 3rd pregnancy, and hope for child # 2. My loss was very early (before 6 weeks) and I'm hoping that this time I have a sticky one. Before DS was born we also struggled with sub-fertility. I have hypothyroidism as well, but it is now well regulated.
post #17 of 53
Thread Starter 

Willovia- Great question about fear. Here's the deal. Fear never goes away...but you can control how you respond to or react to it. You may have a good ultrasound, but you still fear that something might go wrong. Then you make it to the second trimester, then you make it to the third trimester and you still have some fears. They may have changed, but they are there. Then you give birth, probably with some fear. After your baby is born, you may be scared to death to leave the hospital with a tiny little being that you are in charge of. But guess what...it doesn't end there. You may fear that you'll forget your kid somewhere because you're so exhausted...or, once s/he can eat solid food, you fear that they will choke to death on something you feed them.


The reality is, parenthood is full of fears and it's absolutely normal to acknowledge or ignore them. Miscarriage is no different. Life throws you surprises - sometimes bad and sometimes good. It's up to you to react how you will. I choose to believe that things happen for a reason and that I'm learning and growing from every experience, whether good or bad. 


I hope this can give you some sort of comfort or solace, but know that whenever something good or bad happens, there's generally a great support network in place to catch you when you fall and congratulate you when you rise above. 

post #18 of 53

I guess I should introduce myself here as well....My name is Cerise and I am pregnant for the 4th time. My first pregnancy was a chemical, and I miscarried at 5 weeks. My second pregnancy I had a bouncing baby girl via c-section on her due date. My third pregnancy was perfect until during labor at 41 weeks, we checked for a heartbeat, after hearing a strong perfect 155 + only a couple hours before, and there was none. My son was born 7 hours later, by VBAC, 10 lbs 6 oz, 20.4 inches long. He had died of acute umbilical cord torsion. Now I am full of anxiety, but hoping that all will be well. I have a c-section already scheduled for 39 weeks, and I am doing whatever the doc says this time....after knowing what I can lose, I am unwilling to take the same risks I have taken in the past...even knowing that they had nothing to do with his death. 


I am sending lots of love and peace to all of you ladies, and hoping for a H&H 9 months for all of us. 


Blessings to you all!



post #19 of 53

hug.gif I hope for a happy and healthy pregnancy and a smooth delivery for you.

post #20 of 53

I am expecting number 3 (i'm about 6 1/2 weeks). I miscarried for the first time in July right before my little sister's wedding at about 5 weeks or so. It affected me more than I thought. It was an unexpected pregnancy but made us realize we would consider another child...and here we are.


I have 2 healthy girls. I spotted early with my first, and though things turned out ok, she was born 3 wks early via C-section because she was breech and my water broke with heavy labor. My second pregnancy, I had very little spotting and she was born VBAC 2 weeks early. The miscarriage in July was a bizarre experience for me with spotting a week prior to my period, the week it was expected, and a lot of cramping. I just knew something was wrong and lost the pregnancy almost a week later. I was actually quite shocked it was a pregnancy, as I had only tested before calling the OB about the spotting and painful/weird "period".


Because of the miscarriage, I am very nervous this time. I was sure last week it was happening again because I was spotting more and had icky cramping. Still, it was not as intense as that which had preceded my miscarriage. My prenantal appt. is in two days so I am holding tight til then. The spotting is very minor and on and off, but I am always a bit "achey" on the old C-section scar and my lower back aches. I am kind of paranoid. I know there is usually an approx. 8 week ultrasound and then a 12 week. My sister lost her baby between 9 and 12 weeks but did not know that until the 12 week ultrasound. That is why I have not mentioned the pregnancy to anyone other than my husband because I am just too nervous that something will happen during the first trimester. I don't plan on telling my kids until we are well underway, God willing!


On a positive note now...I am pretty nauseous so that is a good sign the hormones are working!


Good luck to all and sorry for all of your losses.

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