Breastfeeding, etc. - Page 6 « Back to Group Discussions

[CDsMom1031]

Originally Posted by seraf 
 I'm not above handing baby off for a burping and walking away for a few minutes if there's someone to hand him of to.

I nurse, DH burps (When he's home. This includes nighttime.). It makes it more "fair"... In my book, at least. He even burps in-between breasts. And if I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'll pump and let DH feed him while I shower or nap.

[jbk21]

Originally Posted by seraf 

I agree that perspective is critical.  

And this line made me giggle because I totally nurse in the shower.  I don't use a sling in the shower, but learning to nurse in the sling is freeing.  If you're feeling touched out that's another matter.  I'm not above handing baby off for a burping and walking away for a few minutes if there's someone to hand him of to.

haha!  Good for you for nursing in the shower.  I would love to, but to me little babes are like slippery watermelons in the shower.  I feel like I need to be sitting to have a good handle on them.  Haha.  

[TalkToMeNow]

Oh wow, you guys just made me remember that I had a water sling for dd2! It was supposed to be for the pool, but I used it in the shower a lot.

Changing perspective and expectations is key. I don't expect that I will be able to do anything other than take care of the baby. Then, if I manage to put him down and get some stuff done, I feel like it's a huge bonus. Everyday is different... Yesterday, I got to do a ton of stuff including eating proper meals, cleaning, getting on the computer, and doing some crafting. Today, it's 2:45 and I've managed to eat a granola bar and put on clothes. And I've been up for 6+ hours. But I'm ok with that. Hungry, but ok.

Prioritizing is also key. Anytime I manage to put him down, I run through a list of what is most important to do. I seriously rank things like peeing, eating, etc in my mind. That way, if he wakes up after 5 min, I didn't waste that time doing something useless.

Speaking of, I'm going to go try and pee and make a sandwich. Wish me luck!

[jbk21]

Prioritizing- great point!   I think through a list all day long (it's been easier these first few weeks b/c DH is here, but once he leaves I know I'll need to be better about this).  So I think, shower, eat, etc.... It will be interesting with having a toddler as well, but he is a great helper.  

Originally Posted by TalkToMeNow 

Oh wow, you guys just made me remember that I had a water sling for dd2! It was supposed to be for the pool, but I used it in the shower a lot.
Changing perspective and expectations is key. I don't expect that I will be able to do anything other than take care of the baby. Then, if I manage to put him down and get some stuff done, I feel like it's a huge bonus. Everyday is different... Yesterday, I got to do a ton of stuff including eating proper meals, cleaning, getting on the computer, and doing some crafting. Today, it's 2:45 and I've managed to eat a granola bar and put on clothes. And I've been up for 6+ hours. But I'm ok with that. Hungry, but ok.
Prioritizing is also key. Anytime I manage to put him down, I run through a list of what is most important to do. I seriously rank things like peeing, eating, etc in my mind. That way, if he wakes up after 5 min, I didn't waste that time doing something useless.
Speaking of, I'm going to go try and pee and make a sandwich. Wish me luck!

[meesh933]

Originally Posted by jbk21 

Prioritizing- great point!   I think through a list all day long (it's been easier these first few weeks b/c DH is here, but once he leaves I know I'll need to be better about this).  So I think, shower, eat, etc.... It will be interesting with having a toddler as well, but he is a great helper.  

i do the same thing! i have a mental list of what absolutely has to be done by the end of the day. usually get a few dishes clean and a load of laundry rotated through. anything else is a bonus!

[birdhappy85]

Is it okay for me to be allowing my baby to nurse at my breast as long and often as she wants even if she's just using me like a pacifier as comfort for a lot of the time? I was mentioning to some friends and family how frequently the baby is at my breast and they acted like something was wrong with it and my sister even told me I should consult with a doctor because it seemed excessive to her... I tried explaining that my baby wants to be held by me and if she wants my nipple then I see nothing wrong with that. I was told THREE times today that I should let her cry and get things done if I need to. Each person told me, "You need to take care of your own needs too!" And it kind of offended my sensibility to be told that... I mean, I understand I need to take care of myself, but my baby's needs are most important right now! She can't take care of herself and doesn't have the capability of self soothing yet! I'm not going to let her sit there crying for a while. Besides that, I can't handle hearing her cry for very long... It makes me so emotional. I hope that's not wrong?

I just feel like I'm questioning what I'm doing today because I've been made to feel like things are out of the ordinary with my situation.

[dashley111]

Originally Posted by birdhappy85 

Is it okay for me to be allowing my baby to nurse at my breast as long and often as she wants even if she's just using me like a pacifier as comfort for a lot of the time? I was mentioning to some friends and family how frequently the baby is at my breast and they acted like something was wrong with it and my sister even told me I should consult with a doctor because it seemed excessive to her... I tried explaining that my baby wants to be held by me and if she wants my nipple then I see nothing wrong with that. I was told THREE times today that I should let her cry and get things done if I need to. Each person told me, "You need to take care of your own needs too!" And it kind of offended my sensibility to be told that... I mean, I understand I need to take care of myself, but my baby's needs are most important right now! She can't take care of herself and doesn't have the capability of self soothing yet! I'm not going to let her sit there crying for a while. Besides that, I can't handle hearing her cry for very long... It makes me so emotional. I hope that's not wrong?

I just feel like I'm questioning what I'm doing today because I've been made to feel like things are out of the ordinary with my situation.

You are doing what YOU feel is right for you and your baby.  Period.  Maybe whats right for your sister is nursing every 3-4 hours, but obviously your baby is needing more than that- and there is nothing wrong with that!  Do you feel like your needs are being met and your not overwhelmed? 

Sometimes my baby will sleep for hours before she wakes up to eat, but sometimes there is only 15 minutes between our feedings.  Sometimes (a lot of the time) she hangs out on my all day and uses me as a human pacifier.  It works for us, and I'm not overwhelmed by it at all- everyones needs are being met. 
 

[Abraisme]

Yes, you are doing what is best for your baby.  I totally agree with your opinion here..
 

Originally Posted by birdhappy85 

Is it okay for me to be allowing my baby to nurse at my breast as long and often as she wants even if she's just using me like a pacifier as comfort for a lot of the time? I was mentioning to some friends and family how frequently the baby is at my breast and they acted like something was wrong with it and my sister even told me I should consult with a doctor because it seemed excessive to her... I tried explaining that my baby wants to be held by me and if she wants my nipple then I see nothing wrong with that. I was told THREE times today that I should let her cry and get things done if I need to. Each person told me, "You need to take care of your own needs too!" And it kind of offended my sensibility to be told that... I mean, I understand I need to take care of myself, but my baby's needs are most important right now! She can't take care of herself and doesn't have the capability of self soothing yet! I'm not going to let her sit there crying for a while. Besides that, I can't handle hearing her cry for very long... It makes me so emotional. I hope that's not wrong?

I just feel like I'm questioning what I'm doing today because I've been made to feel like things are out of the ordinary with my situation.

[jbk21]

You are doing what is right Joanie!  Just continue to be in tune with her needs- eventually you will be able to soothe her in other ways but for now just let her comfort nurse!  don't let her cry- i know what you mean about it making you emotional- it does the same to me and this is my second (so it's not just a FTM thing- I think it's just instinctual!)  It is stressful for them to be upset for a long time.  

[mamabelle]

My first was like that and it worked for us. I was a little surprised in the early weeks and felt a little overwhelmed, but I think you're right on when you say "I tried explaining that my baby wants to be held by me and if she wants my nipple then I see nothing wrong with that." You know what is right for you and your baby! I really didn't like it when people would say things like "using you like a pacifier," because really the pacifier is a substitute for mother's nipple so it's the pacifier that's getting used- you are doing your job! And it is normal not to want to hear your baby cry, it drives us out of our skin for a reason- they need your immediate attention! Granted, sometimes baby must cry for a minute while I need to accomplish something, but in general I think you're doing what feels right for you. Keep it up! 

My second baby is the opposite and it constantly freaks me out and sends me doubting things. She sleeps for 2-3+ hours and then nurses for about 15 minutes (or at least this is what it feels like after my first!). She is gaining weight much faster than my first and is content most of the time, so there's no real reason to worry, but I am always stopping myself from waking her up to nurse her. I am still guilty of shoving my nipple in her mouth repeatedly as she tries to spit it out and we're four weeks in! Looking back it makes me appreciate that at least with my son I always knew how to comfort him and it was always the boob! 
 

Originally Posted by birdhappy85 

Is it okay for me to be allowing my baby to nurse at my breast as long and often as she wants even if she's just using me like a pacifier as comfort for a lot of the time? I was mentioning to some friends and family how frequently the baby is at my breast and they acted like something was wrong with it and my sister even told me I should consult with a doctor because it seemed excessive to her... I tried explaining that my baby wants to be held by me and if she wants my nipple then I see nothing wrong with that. I was told THREE times today that I should let her cry and get things done if I need to. Each person told me, "You need to take care of your own needs too!" And it kind of offended my sensibility to be told that... I mean, I understand I need to take care of myself, but my baby's needs are most important right now! She can't take care of herself and doesn't have the capability of self soothing yet! I'm not going to let her sit there crying for a while. Besides that, I can't handle hearing her cry for very long... It makes me so emotional. I hope that's not wrong?

I just feel like I'm questioning what I'm doing today because I've been made to feel like things are out of the ordinary with my situation.

[Paigekitten]

uses me as a human pacifier

I prefer to think of it as my child isn't being substituted with a plastic mother. 

[meesh933]

Originally Posted by Paigekitten 

I prefer to think of it as my child isn't being substituted with a plastic mother. 

[KaliShanti]

Some babies do just fine with a pacifier though and some moms can't be nursing their babies literally all day either.

Just throwing in a different perspective. Don't feel guilty of you prioritize other things besides taking care of new baby. I put my baby down to hang out by himself and watch/listen to the household. I am homeschooling a gifted 4-yr-old and taking care of an active toddler too plus running a doula/photography business - sometimes other things need to be done. :)

However, I DO feel that taking care of YOURSELF is really important. With my first baby I barely fixed myself meals and it was not healthy physically or emotionally. If you are not eating regularly, that needs to be a priority. The better we care for ourselves the better we can care for our babies.

[jbk21]

I agree with Kali.  Babies have non-nutritive suck needs.  Dylan would like to comfort nurse but when he tries I still have a ton of milk and he gets PISSED.  I'm not going to pop him back on over and over while he is sputtering and crying, so I give him a paci and he is quite content with that.  I don't see anything wrong with pacis, especially at night because they significantly lower SIDS risk.  Sucking helps them organize day/night and wake/sleep so I don't feel bad about it at all, even though I hate having to replace it over and over.  I still feed him on demand, and the paci doesn't get in the way of those cues.  He is very clear about when he is hungry vs. when he needs to suck.  

[birdhappy85]

I don't have any problem with setting the baby down to do other things. It's just a problem that a lot of the time she will squirm and cry if I set her down, so then that makes the situation worse than if I had just held onto her while asleep. She's notorious for waking up out of sleep if she's not on a warm body anymore. *sigh* It depends on the time of day too. In the morning she is a lot more calm and content to just sit and look around observing her surroundings without me tending to her. The rest of the day I can't really say the same, though.

I find that replacing the pacifier when it falls out over and over and over is a lot more work than just holding her to my breast sometimes because then I have to constantly be staring at her to notice when it's falling out. She gets pissed off the second it falls out. She's just starting to like the pacifier more so hopefully she'll get better about using than in place of me sometimes.

[jbk21]

I know we keep saying this but... it's going to get better SO soon, Joanie!!  6 weeks is the peak of most of these issues- babies are increasingly fussy up to 6 weeks and then it gets better, and they also organize their sleep better after 6 weeks.  So just hang in there, do what you need to do for the next 2 weeks and it will start to improve dramatically after that.  Plus she'll be smiling at you and starting to giggle a bit, and that makes it all better when you're having a rough day 

[dashley111]

Originally Posted by jbk21 

I know we keep saying this but... it's going to get better SO soon, Joanie!!  6 weeks is the peak of most of these issues- babies are increasingly fussy up to 6 weeks and then it gets better, and they also organize their sleep better after 6 weeks.  So just hang in there, do what you need to do for the next 2 weeks and it will start to improve dramatically after that.  Plus she'll be smiling at you and starting to giggle a bit, and that makes it all better when you're having a rough day 

Ok I have never heard this but I hope to God its true!  Bettie is just so cranky...of my 3, she cries the most and needs the most one-on-one attention.  We walk the floor for 3-4 hours a night to keep her content.  She smiles at us every once in a while, and it reminds me its worth it.

[Abraisme]

Speaking of pacifiers..  Is there some magical way to get a baby to take one?  I'm on baby #3 and so far they've all acted like I'm choking them with the plastic death thing.  Do babies that use paci's just take them from the beginning or do you have to keep trying?  My first 2 kids are really NOT oral, so maybe they just didn't it?  Coralie is fussy in the evenings and wants to suck, but is too full and it seems to hurt her.  She still doesn't want to take the paci for more than 1-2 sucks though...

[dashley111]

Oh, and I use a pacifier also.  While I would love to be able to just pop her on and keep her on there until she doesn't want to nurse anymore- my kids have to be driven to school, have their homework done,  and the laundry has to be done.  Without a pacifier I could still do these things, but it would involve a LOT more screaming. 

I nurse while I cook, while I eat, while I fold, while I brush my teeth- but there has to be a line somewhere, for me.

[dashley111]

Originally Posted by Abraisme 

Speaking of pacifiers..  Is there some magical way to get a baby to take one?  I'm on baby #3 and so far they've all acted like I'm choking them with the plastic death thing.  Do babies that use paci's just take them from the beginning or do you have to keep trying?  My first 2 kids are really NOT oral, so maybe they just didn't it?  Coralie is fussy in the evenings and wants to suck, but is too full and it seems to hurt her.  She still doesn't want to take the paci for more than 1-2 sucks though...

My first 2 would have nothing to do with it.  #2 was a thumb sucker, luckily.  I think its just dumb luck with #3.