Hang in there. Some of this reminds me of my first. It was so hard, I totally feel for you. It does get so much better, but it's impossible to have perspective at this point. My first nursed nonstop, around the clock for at least 4 months. I joined a breastfeeding support group, which helped a lot. Now that he is 2 and weaned, it's all a fuzzy memory. I am so glad I stuck with it for 21 months! It is much easier for me to remember how fast it all does go by this time, my mantra has been "this is all temporary."
I am gluten free, I am sorry to hear you are having trouble getting enough food! Big batches of gluten-free oatmeal cookies and other easy to grab snacks are helpful. And ask for help. If DH can't, is there someone else you can ask? This is a time that people are very willing to help, sometimes they just need to be asked for specific help (can you please come make me a big pot of soup?). I give people recipes I already have so I don't have to explain the off-limits ingredients repeatedly. Have someone slice up some apples and you can dip them in some peanut butter (unless you're avoiding that right now)...
Originally Posted by birdhappy85
I need a pep talk.
I'm doubting my ability to keep up with breastfeeding more and more each day. It's bringing me down. I had the worst evening yet for like 6-7 hours unable to make the baby happy. From 5:00pm to midnight it's just so hard almost every night! I don't get it! She had her usual nighttime latching difficulties but on a grander scale and I broke down crying unable to take any more. I had to lay down in bed to have my meltdown and let things pass while DH held Sora crying for a bit. I felt like the worst mom ever. She was nursing for over an hour at a time(!) and doing the whole sucking/pull away/re-latch super painful thing she does. I couldn't have possibly had any milk left in me during most of the time she was nursing last night so I felt like a human pacifier! (someone else on here used that analogy and it unfortunately perfectly describes how I feel these days...) If she fell asleep and I tried handing her to DH or setting her down for a second, she woke up crying and would just nurse even more -- and repeat. I just don't get it! I don't think it's an engorgement issue causing the problem because I've tried letting out some milk before feeding her and it doesn't help. I've only gotten engorged once; my breasts feel the same at night as they do earlier in the day when she eats just fine. She does seem kind of frustrated like she wants to fall asleep but can't, though... Like she'll nod off and then wake right up like she's fighting to stay awake. Maybe that's a "competing" need that she's battling with while hungry. I don't think I ate enough yesterday either... Maybe my milk production slowed down at night. I don't have much of an appetite most of the time anymore. Eating just feels like too much work and I've ended up eating foods I shouldn't be with my food sensitivities. I feel guilty and run down, unable to dedicate any decent amount of time to preparing my GFCF meals. DH can only help so much. It takes a lot of effort and planning to keep up with that way of eating and I didn't know breastfeeding would be this much more frequent and difficult than the whole "newborns eat every 2 hours" crock of **** I was always told.
When do infants start eating faster and less frequently? Is this just a newborn phase that passes within a few weeks? My friend was over a few days ago with her 3-month-old baby and she said her baby eats her fill in 5 minutes. FIVE MINUTES! Apparently she's always been a fast eater. Jealousy doesn't even begin to describe how I was feeling in that moment...
I think tonight I'm going to try feeding Sora in different places around the house and really concentrate on the breastfeeding session between us without distractions. Maybe that will help. FX that she just wants my undivided attention. I do tend to try multitasking too much at night, especially since that's my only time with DH and we'll watch movies or TV together and I'll be on the laptop quite a bit. I mean, I hold the baby all the time while I'm doing that other stuff, but maybe she senses my focus isn't on her. I don't know.