Breastfeeding, etc. - Page 24 « Back to Group Discussions

[LunaLady]

I had pretty much the worst possible situation for breastfeeding, and if I we were to ever have another baby (which will never happen) we would likely end up in the same situation as last time. I've thought it over and I'm pretty sure things would be very different knowing what I know now. I was very timid and obliging and that got me nowhere. I'd never had a baby before and trusted the 'professionals', which was also a mostly a mistake. On the other side of the coin, I had some really helpful lactation consultants when R was in the NICU who urged me to breastfeed, but I think I was still just too much in shock and often shrugged it off. That's one of my (many) biggest regrets surrounding that time. 

Like your friend, I've now 'been there, done that' and if I had to do it again I'd be much more forward and frank with my needs/wants. I would tell every person on staff that I planned to breastfeed and other 'birth plan' type things that were important to me so that every person working with me would know my preferences. 

Also, in her case I'd recommend a doula. Someone who can advocate for her when she tired and just wants to sleep and might not be thinking clearly. I so, so, so wish I'd had a doula who could have told me what I could have contested and what was just necessary. 

Just having your support is probably really helpful for her, too! 

[seraf]

Sara had her birth not go how she wanted, but the hospital where we are only does rooming in. They keep moms an extra day if they're first time nursing moms (for more support with the LC). Sara had a heck of a time with nursing. She was ready to give up. He was suplimented at my breast a few times in the beginning. She is a very confident nursing mom now. 

It took 2 or 3 weeks to really get it. He had no problem latching on with me, but it caused her lots of pain.  We asked many different people for help, but a friend who is an LC told us to have her lay back, lay him on her chest/belly with his head on her breast and let the baby latch himself on. Like the breast crawl, but without actual crawling. Those latches were painless and eventually all his other latches were also.  We have thanked that friend because I don't think Sara would still be nursing Soren if we hadn't gotten that little bit of advice.  

It's not a simple thing to learn to breastfeed without great support.  Professional support is a great start, getting her partner 100% on board is key. If it helps, the cost of a LC is a lot less than a year of formula.

[Jaimee]

How did your dinner go with your friend?

I know for me, much had to do with lack of support from professionals and other mothers that knew how to breastfeed.  Combine that with some stubborness on my part to not demand help right away and to be scared into supplementing and I was in a situation that could have easily ended with 100% formula.  There are so many little things that can go wrong with newborn nursing and when the mother is also unsure and easily influenced by medical professionals that quickly leads to supplementation and eventually formula feeding when the supply is not properly established.  Did she have flat or inverted nipples?

I would say that in the hospital, it is SO important to have a plan that includes breastfeeding and advocates to support that plan.  A doula is a good idea and educating dad is also a good idea.  Having canned responses practiced is essential: "we are delaying the newborn exam for now." and "the baby is rooming in with me, no need for the nursery, thanks."  Don't let that baby out of sight or it may receive sugar water and/or formula despite best efforts.  I do think that skin to skin contact and latching within the first hour is key.  With my first, there was no latching in that first hour and she fell asleep and after that had zero interest in trying to latch on.  With my subsequent babies, I got them latched on within minutes of birth and that was MUCH better.

Once home, I agree with the tactic to not have formula in the house.  This makes it not an option and forces mom and dad to be in it 100%.  Dad is so important... he needs to be totally supportive, encouraging, helpful, knowledgeable, and steady.  No "it's okay if you can't do it hon, I'll just get the formula."  He needs to know the phone numbers of the LC's, LLL leaders, and mom friends to call when things get tough.

Another thing is to prioritize.  There are always many things for a mom to do all at the same time... cooking, cleaning, diaper changes, tending to older children, laundry, etc.  I would recommend prioritizing tasks so that she can focus on establishing breastfeeding.  Maybe that means no cloth diapering for the first month or so.  Maybe that means getting meals frozen and a meal train/food tree set up.  Maybe that means organizing play dates in advance or getting her older child into preschool (how old will s/he be?).  Maybe that means hiring a postpartum doula for a few weeks.  She needs to be able to put her energy into being skin to skin with baby as much as possible, wearing baby as much as possible, being free to nurse on demand, and being relaxed enough to let her body heal and produce milk, etc.

Lastly, she needs to know where to get support when her husband isn't around.  A friend like you will be invaluable.  Just being around other nursing women is so powerful.  I would also encourage her to attend LLL meetings (before and after baby is born) and join online forums like this one (before baby comes) so that she can ask questions as soon as they arise and hear from more than just you that she can do it.  Keeping in mind that only about 3% of women truly cannot breastfeed is an inspiring reminder that the vast majority of breastfeeding problems stem from lack of support and knowledge in today's modern society. 

[TalkToMeNow]

I have a pumping/ working question. As I've mentioned, I'm trying to go back to work part time. I'm anticipating leaving Jasper from 8:00-2:30. Typically during that time he would only nurse once. What that really looks like is he would nurse at 7:30, nurse at 10:30, and nurse at 2:30. So if I feed him right before and after I drop him off, he is only missing one nursing session.

So, my question. Questions, really. He definitely has to have a bottle around 10:30, right? He isn't old enough to skip having a feeding at that time? I'm not going to all this trouble for nothing, right? 

He has never taken a bottle. My potential child care provider suggested just giving him the milk in a straw sippy cup. Is that a good idea? Or should I do a bottle? How much does a baby this age consume in one feeding?

I've pumped twice now to practice. The first time, one breast was moderately full and I got 2.5 oz. The next time, my breast was full like when he misses a feeding. My milk letdown twice while pumping, and I ended up with just under 4 oz. So would he probably take 3 oz per breast per feeding... 6 oz total? ..... I'm so confused.

Pumping sucks! It took me almost 30 min to get the 4 oz. How will I do that at work? And why do they make them so freaking loud? No "being discreet" there. 

(Those last two questions don't need to be answered! )

[jbk21]

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Edited by jbk21 - 10/6/12 at 10:12pm

[birdhappy85]

I have been leaving Sora a 4-6 oz bottle for when I'm gone for about 6 hours. But if I'm gone longer, DH will occasionally give her another ounce or two. I know a baby this age who eats 8 oz in one sitting... but Sora has never even come close to that! She'll eat 4 oz max in one sitting and that's if she's really hungry. With solids in the mix now too, she seems to "snack" at the bottle here and there more than drink it all in one sitting.

Good luck with the pumping! I stopped pumping at work after week 2... My job is so busy with deadlines that have to be met from hour to hour, sometimes minute to minute, that it became impossible to leave my desk and pump for 20 minutes. I had to go all the way down to a lower level of the building to the empty locker room to pump. Ugh. And honestly I just couldn't stand it! I really admire women who pump all of the time. It drove me nuts and never got quicker... I just pump when I get home from work now. I only get about 5 oz out now after being gone 6-8 hours. My supply went down.

[dashley111]

Bettie is still nursing every 2 hours, 3 hours max.  She also wont take a bottle OR a sippy cup.  We have tried, but its almost like she actually cant figure it out.  I literally have not left her side for months.  Its really starting to wear on me.  I need a little personal space.  Are there some kind of magical transitional cups?

[jbk21]

Ash!     I get out to the grocery store here and there, and have gone out for a quick date with a friend a few times.  It really does get exhausting.  

[seraf]

Amanda, I freeze my milk in ice cubes, Sara says that's easier for when she has no idea how much he will want to eat.

Originally Posted by dashley111 

Bettie is still nursing every 2 hours, 3 hours max.  She also wont take a bottle OR a sippy cup.  We have tried, but its almost like she actually cant figure it out.  I literally have not left her side for months.  Its really starting to wear on me.  I need a little personal space.  Are there some kind of magical transitional cups?

Shay nurses at least every 2 hours when I'm around.  Perhaps you could leave her with someone fun and leave a little milk and some solids and they can just distract her by taking her outside or something if she says she wants to nurse? Shay started drinking from a tiny little sake cup. A shot glass would work the same. It was still a little messy, but that's what bibs are for.

[LunaLady]

R nurses about once an hour when we are at home and it's just us. If we are out and about it's about as often because he's in the Ergo and the food source is right in his face haha. When he's with my parents or out with DH, he can go for hours. He went four hours without complaint when I was in the ER in June.

[jill the pill]

I've only been pumping about 6 ounces while I'm at work which is just about what she eats when I'm away.  I'm usually gone for about 10 hours and I nurse her right before I leave and right when I get home.  Is six ounces really enough in that long stretch of time?  I was starting to worry that she wasn't getting enough but she also still wakes to nurse at least twice in the night. 

[TalkToMeNow]

Thanks to everyone who replied about my pumping q's. I wish I had a stash... I only have like 10 oz. Oops.

Ash, I have barely left Jasper. 2-3 hours is the absolute max I can be gone without the entire universe coming to an end (or so the rest of my family would have me believe). Jasper is actually fine. It's mostly dh feeling like it's so tough to watch the baby. So tough!! So I feel your pain.

[seraf]

LOL, does he recognize that it's also work for you?  

[jill the pill]

Does anyone else have trouble with baby pulling off the breast constantly while nursing?  It's getting really annoying.  I know she is interested in looking around to see what is going on but it is driving me nuts!  I end up just giving up and she doesn't seem to mind all that much.  Dh said she does the same thing with the bottle.  Is there anything  that could make her more focused and pay attention to business or is this something I just have to accept and deal with?

[seraf]

I think it's common.

In order to hold Shay's attention, I have to bounce, rock or jiggle or he has to be starving and the milk has to be actively letting down.

I think they unlatch and re-latch to get the let down, because Soren does it, too.  I don't know why she would do it with a bottle, tho.

[MrsKatie]

KJ is like that, too. Just so distracted and excitable! I have the best luck nursing her in a side-lying position, or while moving around like Sara said (cradling her while walking around, for instance). Our best/longest nursing sessions are while lying down... But even then she has become the squirmiest little nursing you can imagine! She loves nursing in the downward dog position. No joke. My sister calls it "downward-facing peanut." I'm lying down and she's in downward dog. It's hysterical.

[KayPea]

We can't nurse lying down at all any more. Oren tries to stay nursing, yet crawl away. Yeowtch. 

He used to fall asleep exclusively side-lying, but now we've switched to falling asleep while nursing being held. But yes, he pops on and off constantly. 

If he's popping on and off before a let-down, I let it happen, because it does seem to bring on let-down faster. If it's after one let-down, I stop the nursing session if he's popping on and off too much. I usually only get one let-down per nursing session. 

[MrsKatie]

Oh! And I don't know what kind of carrier you have, but whenever KJ is in the boba WITH the sleeping hoop snapped up over her head, she will nurse for awhile without popping off.

[jill the pill]

I will try moving her around more and see if that helps.  Thank you!  These babies are turning into little monsters!

[seraf]

Originally Posted by jill the pill 

These babies are turning into little monsters!

They really are! Shay will just pull the boob out of his brother's mouth and start nursing on it.  He also likes standing on the floor, nursing, while I just lean forward (from the couch - totally bad posture) .