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*~*~*2012 Low Income Support Group*~*~* - Page 14

post #261 of 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by kfillmore View Post

I need to talk about two things-

 

HOW oh HOW do you not obsess over the spiritual implications about being broke, broke for a long time?? I suppose  it is a bit OCD but not entirely. I worry about Feng Shui, about if I am being too negative or have some other "bad" thoughts that are causing this situation. Is God, or whoever, listening? How do I pray when a huge part of this is my DH's doing? I am sick with stress about money but almost more so about the anger and fear I am not "getting" something.

 

 

 

 

The other thing. One thing that goes down the drain is health. This makes me resentful. I mean my BODY is suffering. I am busy, no babysitter, ever. My bed is SO uncomfortable. I have no health insurance. I really could use some herbs, massage, chiropractic, acupuncture whatever! I can't even sleep!!!

 

Any thoughts?

hug2.gif  Unfortunately those feelings don't get better.  I obsess about the stress of money worries but I also feel that rage of "why me? why can I never get ahead?  and why does ever else around me seem to have their lives completely in control and they don't struggle like I do?"  And that doesn't go away with time either.  It just intensifies.  I try to remember that eventually it will ease up and you can only be in a down cycle so long......but it's hard to stay positive and be strong when you are getting bombarded day after day after day.  Regarding the health though, I have no idea.  I have a horrible bed too(it's actually from the 70's and was given to me).  I rarely have a  babysitter and only then for my mental health appts that would be inappropriate to bring my children to.  My body hurts, my mind is a mess, etc.  It's the constant cortisol that's released in your body from stress.  Suggestions?  Well, can you try to carve out some time to yourself?  Do you have a partner that could watch the kids for an hour while you go take a walk?  Maybe after bedtime you could take a bath and paint your toenails or make a special dessert for yourself and eat it all, not sharing it with anyone?  winky.gif  Just a few minutes of "me time" every day even during naptime or getting up 20minutes early to enjoy a cup of coffee by yourself before the kids wake up can feel really refreshing.  When my kids are really overwhelming or my mind is scattered, I take my kids to a bike path about 2 minutes from my house to let them run off some steam and get myself some sunshine.  It actually REALLY helps.  In the summer I pick some wildflowers or gather some seed heads for my own yard while they run and screech in the fields.  Just an hour of this and we are all recharged and it's completely free.

post #262 of 333

I'm trying to find the Summer/Fall 2012 Low Income Support group.  Anyone?

post #263 of 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom31 View Post

I took kids to get an eye exam today- 2 kids.  One needs glasses  We came out and I asked for help.  NONE and I mean none was given.  I went back to a desk where the woman was munching on carrots and asked where the glasses that were covered by medicaid were.  She say's over there- and flippantly points- to "there"  where ?  the brown  boxes.?  oh.  thanks.

I take ds over there and- no there are none he likes.

So then I go back to desk and ask where are other frames for kids?
mixed in everywhere- medicaid glasses are over there... yes I know- where are other frames for little boys- 

SO we go over to where the "regular" priced glasses are and he picks out a pair labeld 160- and they are really perfect- but ya know- 160-

Me-  so I say does that cover lenses?  What will the entire cost be for these frames complete? 

Her-  I  does not know- the proceeds to takes glasses from me and says oh these are in wrong area and puts them back. 

Me-No- I am interested in these glasses- how much are they? 

Her- I don't know - these are not the medicaid glasses-

Me- YES I KNOW_ can I buy these if I want to?

Her-Yes she says.

Me- Can you find out how much they are?? 

Another woman appears and tells me the glasses actually are only $74 with lenses.

GREAT.  We'll take em.

I hate being treated so poorly. 

 
I get glasses for me and D's through eyebuydirect.com You have to have a prescription already, but you can get glasses with the prescription lenses for as little as $6.99 each (plus a bit for shipping). I just got us two pair each for just under $60 total. They have a nice return policy for if they don't fit or you just don't like them. I ordered some for ds about 18 months ago. With ds being 6 and dd (2yo) grabbing them, I was thrilled that I could get several pair without spending a small fortune.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kfillmore View Post

I need to talk about two things-

HOW oh HOW do you not obsess over the spiritual implications about being broke, broke for a long time?? I suppose  it is a bit OCD but not entirely. I worry about Feng Shui, about if I am being too negative or have some other "bad" thoughts that are causing this situation. Is God, or whoever, listening? How do I pray when a huge part of this is my DH's doing? I am sick with stress about money but almost more so about the anger and fear I am not "getting" something.


The other thing. One thing that goes down the drain is health. This makes me resentful. I mean my BODY is suffering. I am busy, no babysitter, ever. My bed is SO uncomfortable. I have no health insurance. I really could use some herbs, massage, chiropractic, acupuncture whatever! I can't even sleep!!!

Any thoughts?

I'm not sure this is the way to think about things. I always appreciated the experiences that living on the edge has provided - the drive to be conservative with resources, learning self-sufficiency, lack of ego, strong empathy and understanding. I think that if society broke down, I know how to get 'er done, while miss silver spoon would likely be helpless.
This whole thing makes me a better person cuz I don't prioritize an immaculate house and an art collection over my kids' happiness. I don't devalue others' efforts cuz my portfolio is set and they just weren't smart/hard-working/whatever enough to be rich too.
I'm not like that and I don't want to be. And that's cuz I have survived poor.
To be sure,that doesn't make it less hard but all gifts have a price.
Edited by Wolfcat - 8/24/12 at 8:54pm
post #264 of 333

zenni optical! http://www.zennioptical.com/  Glasses as low as $15, I usually get myself 2 pair at a time for less than $60, including shipping. Really cool-looking styles, too. You just need your script that the eye dr gives you. I highly recommend them.
 

post #265 of 333

I go back and forth on the spiritual costs/benefits of being broke.

 

I'm definitely grateful to have grown up poor - but then, I wasn't the one stressing about money as a kid. :p I can only imagine the toll it must have taken on Mum and Dad, and I remember a lot of arguments and tension, especially when we had to accept help from family.

 

As a grownup - and bear in mind, we're broke in a "have no money in the bank" way, but not in an "owe thousands of dollars of debt" way, so it could be much, much wore - well, being poor can really suck. There's a constant, grinding, low-grade tension and dreariness to it which is... not picturesque. I really hate having to scale back on hospitality and charity, and I worry about not enriching DD's environment enough. And I stress about DH, who's fonder of his creature comforts than I am, becoming resentful that we can never just escape from it all by going out for a fancy dinner (or heck, even a cheap dinner!)

 

But I'm trying to work on the worry thing, in a "consider the lilies of the field" sort of way (I'm a Christian). And the fact is, we have survived thus far. And little things give me hope - we won $25-worth of loaves and slices last week in a competition, my grandmother came to visit from Australia and bought us some meat as a gift, I'm building up a stash of Christmas presents for DD by mystery shopping... that sort of thing. I really appreciate it, more than I would have before!

 

And it's teaching me a bit of humility, in a "we'd love to have you over for homemade pizza, but you'll need to bring the mozzarella" way. I've always taken great pride in cooking plentifully and fancily - two or three desserts, enough food for leftovers galore - so it's probably very good for me to learn how to serve up humbler food with a smile. We had my family, including aforementioned millionaire grandmother, over for dinner the other night. I served homemade baked beans. :p And they loved them! So... there you go.

 

So I guess I'd categorise it as a blessing, but one I'd be happy to forego. :p It really depends on the day. And kfillmore, I hear you about the health thing! It infuriates me that our diet isn't as good as it was - too many carbs, and I'm gaining a bit of weight as a result. It feels like the funds for perfect health should be a birthright - which is ridiculous, and a pipe-dream for billions of people throughout the world, so I'm trying to get over it. We did spend a decent chunk of our weekly grocery budget on fish ol capsules this week - DH thinks they're contributing to his recent unwonted good nature, and if so, it's worth it. :p Priorities, priorities...

post #266 of 333

so.... I got a job.  It is full time and pays 12 an hour- at a construction company working in the office... That is a LOT of money for where I live.  I am going to lose my health insurance and food stamps...

 

but I will be learning a skill and well- hopefully I don't get sick or hurt.

Right?
 

post #267 of 333

Congrats Mom31!  That's so exciting!  Instead of thinking about losing your food stamps(and thus your safety net), think about how you will be becoming self-sufficient and you can be proud to be providing for yourself completely!  $12 an hour would be a big deal where I am too so I'm duly impressed.  Way to go!

post #268 of 333

:) I am really enjoying it- feel much better about myself.  I seem to get more done to since I have to get it done in a short amount of time...

kids are at their dads for awhile tonight it's their step brothers birthday but I have to go to dd's first grade orientation- I soooo don't want to go!  but I am going to go- at least for a little bit- be seen at least.
 

post #269 of 333

I just had to buy myself glasses.  Because of my prescription and the way my head is shaped ordering online isn't an option.  Eyemasters was having a 1/2 of lenses sale which is a great 'deal'. I need anti-glare, no scratch, transitions, and a certain type of frame (very thin arms otherwise the frames tend to 'reflect' in my vision) Yes! buying glasses is a major PITA for me. So after the eye exam $78 and glasses $388 which WONT be ready in an hour because my rx is a 'special order'.  My bank account is much lighter than it was 2 days ago.

 

Not looking for pity, can't order frames online.  Just needed to vent.  Don't have vision insurance, when I did I still hadda pay $$ outta pocket anyway.

 

Hoping I can see again shortly. Its been almost 3 years since I got new glasses.

post #270 of 333

Zebra--it sounds like you should try contacts!  It would be so much easier on you.  Of course you just bought glasses, but maybe something to consider next time.

post #271 of 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadelinesMama View Post

Zebra--it sounds like you should try contacts!  It would be so much easier on you.  Of course you just bought glasses, but maybe something to consider next time.

Contacts won't work.  I have allergies and my eyes water/itch.  Somethings are just so dang difficult - I know.

post #272 of 333

Well, I found $150 in our mailbox this morning! It was in a paper bag with our names on it. I was on my way out mystery shopping, so figured someone from church must have got wind of our poverty and given us a wee gift. I ended up buying some seedlings and seeds at one of my mystery shopping places - I didn't spend a ton, but more than I could have otherwise. So that was awesome.

 

Got home and DH was able to tell me the origin of the cash. It was a young couple from our church, with whom we've just started up a youth Bible/worldview/philosophy study. DH mentioned that we're expecting more people next time and will need to buy more plates... and they decided to fund them! So, cool. We're always running out of dishes - last time we had my family over they had to bring their own! With that money, if I shop cleverly, I'm thinking we can probably get plates and bowls and mugs. Sweet. What lovely people. :)

 

And one of my mystery shopping jobs let me get, for free, some vitamin D gummy bears for the kids, new hairties for me and two more Christmas presents for DD. (Nothing fancy, a comb and a few hairclips, but hey.) Again, woot.

 

Our food budget's still depressing, though. The baby ate the shopping list on our last trip, so I forgot to get frozen peas and a few other things I wanted; and now we're out of money for the rest of the week. And I'm getting really sick of carbs. BUT! Mustn't complain and all that. Hopefully the broad beans will be producing soon. And in a few months we can have free, unlimited zucchini! At least, judging by how well they did last year.

post #273 of 333

Smokering, congrats on the sudden unexpected windfall!  Make sure you pay it forward in your own way(ie, a good deed, a kind word to a stressed mom at the grocery store, etc).  The school year started up finally and I got back my babysitting job again from last year.  It wasn't much, just $15 a week, but it was enough to give me a little extra cash and some breathing room in our monthly finances.  And she's a sweet kid so she's really no extra trouble.  So that's been exciting, plus her mom wants to pay a little extra this year which is nice.  The school supplies this year actually weren't too bad since my mom used to be a teacher and has quite a few supplies leftover from retiring last year and let us take them.  I think total I paid less than $10 for my two children in public school.  :)  

 

 

 

 

Things I'm grateful for right now:

 

-this extended 3 day weekend home with my children

-our state health insurance that covers prescriptions 100%.  Otherwise our medical needs would total about $2k per month right now.

-our garden this summer which has been a source of stress-relief for me and a lovely free produce source

-the wild concord grapes near us.  3 batches so far.  That's enough for us for the year plus for giving as gifts this Christmas.

-surprisingly enough, my mom.  as a thank you to me for knitting a sweater for a friend of hers and a promise to knit another for another friend, she bought me a gym membership at a local Planet Fitness that was offering a great cheap deal right now in our area.  It's especially lovely since I had to cancel my membership at the YMCA last month because I couldn't afford it, even with financial assistance anymore.  And I love to run so a gym membership is really special to me in the winter when it gets too cold and snowy here in new england to run outside.

post #274 of 333

Smokering can you get dishes at the goodwill?  I always buy my dishes used.
 

post #275 of 333

Three things I'm grateful for right now:

to be surrounded by friends who love me.  My family obviously  can't stand me and be supportative but our friends love us and have really opened their arms and home to us.

Im thankful that my teaching certificate allows me to sub on a daily basis.  This gives us income.

Im thankful that my psych meds are still working after a long crazy summer.

 

BTW my kiddo's b'day is tomorrow and he is the best kid ever!

post #276 of 333

Well, DH and I went out today to buy dishes. We ended up trekking all the way over town and looking in way too many places - I forgot how stressful spending money is! - but we did well. 20 plain white $1 side plates, ten dessert bowls DH liked (ehh, they're OK and I was sick of looking at that point)... and then, just as we were about to go home, in the last shop, we found these awesome curved, country-ish, sort of hobbity-looking mugs. We bought eight, discovered they were half price, and bought six more. :p We came in under budget enough to get milkshakes before we went home - a rare treat! So that was awesome. :) And yes, justmama, I'm planning to pay it forward. Tomorrow I'm driving by the house of a woman who could use a loaf of homemade bread...

 

Quote:
Im thankful that my psych meds are still working after a long crazy summer.

That is indeed something to be thankful for! :)

 

I have a strange problem this week. I invited my friend and her three small kids round for the afternoon, and she kinda invited herself for lunch. Which is OK, but I've cooked for these kids before and they're quite picky... they don't like eggs, or carrot sticks, or biscuits with raisins in, or anything vaguely non-mainstream. So I can't do soup and bread for lunch (they don't eat soup). What do "mainstream" kids eat? We've used up our grocery budget for the week, so I can't go out and get white bread... I could make white bread, though. Would white bread toasted sandwiches with cheese and tomato sauce be, like, normal enough? We're kinda low on cheese... hrmm.

post #277 of 333
Picky kids get the same thing as the rest of us, they can experiment or just eat fruit.
post #278 of 333

Do you have things you can throw together for homemade pizzas?  Some sort of veg or fruit on the side.  English muffins, homemade pizza dough, tortillas?  Anything?  Some tomato sauce spiced up.  Some shredded cheese.  That's it!  And it could be a make-your-own style which is always fun.  That's our go-to for picky "mainstream" no healthy food friends when they come over.

post #279 of 333

Spaghetti maybe?  Sorry, it occurred to me after I posted.  Homemade garlic bread on the side.  Or maybe homemade breadsticks.

post #280 of 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by micah_mae_ View Post

Picky kids get the same thing as the rest of us, they can experiment or just eat fruit.

Yes to this.  Especially when they invite themselves.  sorry, no room to accommodate. 

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