So the pragmatic real fact is that he *needs* external guidance. He needs it in order to build up (through habit and practice) his own internal framework so that later in life he *can* have independence. Some kids just don't have internal structure to manage their own time.
So for kids with any kind of issue with self-regulation, an externally imposed structure can be *freeing*. It sounds contrary to unschooling principles, I know, but I believe that it's the better option for certain kinds of kids. Within the context of this external structure, my son has a lot of freedom to choose his own activities, and I follow his lead on academic choices as well, so I still try to follow the *meaning* of unschooling, the heart of it, if not the letter of it.
ITA. Some of what I have been trying to say in my threads (not that I have a lot!) and I can't seem to get it out right. You are using your own instincts and life experience to facilitate your ds's learning in the way that best seems to fit his needs, even if those needs are not exactly what he desires.
OP, trust your instincts. Although we have generally unrestricted media, I reserve the right to intervene or limit if I feel it is becoming counter-productive. I also set expectations, as in sleeping generally has to occur at night and volume has to be kept at reasonable levels, as well as outside coursework takes priority over gaming (for those who are taking outside courses). It really has been OK since I learned to trust myself as well as my kids in this area.
Edited by Tigeresse - 1/26/12 at 11:23am