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Fess up! - Page 2

post #21 of 27

Thanks ladies, just reread my post and it was pretty unclear, but yeah, he was laid off today. There are a fair number of companies hiring around here, and unemployment's relatively low, so maybe it will be a short term thing, but I think the most stressful thing for me is health insurance, which we have to figure out by the end of the month (I'm a student in MA so I'm legally required to be insured at all times, even if I wanted to risk a month or two without) I'm starting to feel like I didn't overreact today, and DH hasn't been upset that I've been so upset.

 

I think this time of year sucks for layoffs, but I've known this company for 5 years, and they've only had two layoffs - and both were in December :-/ We'll get through this, and luckily it's just us and the dogs still, so no one will notice a frugal Christmas as I try to scrimp and save as much as possible just in case this takes awhile...

 

Thanks for the support - very much appreciated!!

post #22 of 27

wow Im so sorry to hear about your DH gettIng laId off.

 

as for me, I feel pretty guIlty about doIng so lIttle around the house. Im not sIck anymore so I dont have much of an excuse. DP Is awesome though, hes really been pIckIng up my slack.

 

Ive been eatIng quIte a bIt crappIer than usual whIch I know Is ass backwards. been tryIng to Include more fresh, raw thIngs lately, but I have a hard tIme pIckIng out food, nothIng seems good to me. DP Is goIng to sIt down wIth me and make a a lIst of yummy soundIng foods, then come to the grocery store wIth me and help me buy them.

post #23 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by FaithHopeLove29 View Post

Thanks ladies, just reread my post and it was pretty unclear, but yeah, he was laid off today. There are a fair number of companies hiring around here, and unemployment's relatively low, so maybe it will be a short term thing, but I think the most stressful thing for me is health insurance, which we have to figure out by the end of the month (I'm a student in MA so I'm legally required to be insured at all times, even if I wanted to risk a month or two without) I'm starting to feel like I didn't overreact today, and DH hasn't been upset that I've been so upset.

 

I think this time of year sucks for layoffs, but I've known this company for 5 years, and they've only had two layoffs - and both were in December :-/ We'll get through this, and luckily it's just us and the dogs still, so no one will notice a frugal Christmas as I try to scrimp and save as much as possible just in case this takes awhile...

 

Thanks for the support - very much appreciated!!



You know, DH and I had a Christmas like that, the last Christmas as just us two, before DD was born.

 

I stopped working two weeks before Christmas. It wasn't quite so traumatic as what just happened to you and your DH, but it was uncharted territory, for sure. We didn't know what it was really going to be like, saying goodbye to my $50k a year plus benefits, so that I could be a full time mama and that Christmas was VERY frugal.

 

I made a pretty tree and I set about thinking of what to put under it. I took stock of DHs undershirts and socks and boxers, etc. They were getting ratty, so I went out and I found new boxers, socks and teeshirts for him....all the things I knew I'd be buying in the coming months for him anyway, as his supply was getting old and tearing, etc. I wrapped up all of those t-shirts and boxers and socks in the prettiest, most lavish looking papers and tissues and ribbons...they looked so beautiful!

 

I got some gas cards, fancy nuts and dry goods snacks (things I send him to work with that are kind of expensive, from the whole foods type stores) and all of that stuff I wrapped up too. Anything that I could think of, that I would be buying anyway in the coming weeks, I bought for Christmas, instead.

 

Well, I snuck into the living room while he was sleeping on Christmas Eve and made a beautiful arrangement. The look in his eyes on Christmas morning was so wonderful...."What have you DONE, babe!! This is too much stuff!! We're too broke for this, we have to save our money!!" blah blah blah...he was so much more stressed than I, about me stopping work. He felt a lot of anxiety about it and was really, really worried about what it was going to be like to cut our monthly income in half AND have to add me to his insurance. So, to see all of those presents under the tree, so lavishly packaged, so many of them....it was freakin' him out!

 

I was just like "Hey, you sit down and let's open gifts!" He sat down and started tearing at paper, pulling at bows and laughing so hard at the boxers and teeshirts and cashews and dried cranberries the paper gave way to reveal.

 

He was equipped with all the things he was going to need anyway in the coming months....he had all his snacks and a bunch of gas cards and all sorts of stuff like that, that I was going to be purchasing anyway...but we saved ourselves the future spending and bought things we needed instead of "extra" things.

 

We had so much joy and the feeling of the day was "this is all going to be okay, we are crafty and we love each other, we can make it through this time with a good attitude and we'll be the happiest poor folks around!" - it really helped my DH to see, that my attitude was good, that I didn't need shiny things or expensive things to be happy...just him.

 

I think I even bought and wrapped up some tin foil and other things like that I was running low on. Looking at that Christmas tree...you would have thought it was decked out with the most marvelous cache of expensive gifts. It looked so beautiful...and it was so much fun.

 

You guys can make it through this. Acts of love and shows of commitment will help you to feel comforted....if you stick close to each other, keep your wits about you and remain resourceful, things will be better than alright...they'll be GREAT!

post #24 of 27

Thank you for sharing that Broody - that sounds WONDERFUL! I am so lucky to have a group like this for support and ideas and experience.

 

Wanderin, I totally understand the guilt about not doing things around the house. I am reasonably productive in the morning, but after dinner? forget it. I just want to sit on the couch or curl up in bed with a book. Now that I'm starting to feel better, this causes a wee bit of guilt... Luckily, DH doesn't mind dirty dishes. :-) Good luck with the food! I'm trying to use the Brewer's guide to remind me to make healthy choices and track what I'm eating, but I'd much rather eat my comfort foods...

post #25 of 27

Ugh, so I am confessing this month has it has been so difficult to be in love with my pregnant state. My dh is still stressed about being the sole provider to our growing family. I can't even talk to anyone about baby names, everyone seems to immediatly chime in " oh, just wait, we can't do this or were not going ...... next year." I am praying that all these doom and gloom projections begin to evaporate from my loved ones minds. 

If that were not enough I feel so unattractive. Everyone seems 10 pounds thinner and prettier, and I am pale and embarrased to admitt  my maternity clothes are actually my teen age sons hand me downs. I channel this stress into reorganizing the house. I am grateful I feel better than last week, and way better than the week before. So in an effort to distract myself from all this negativity I've been looking to some of my personal sources of inspiration. Yesterday, I came across this,

http://bhavanajagat.com/2010/09/13/the-divine-mother-of-life-energy-and-knowledge/

which is a spiritual interpertation of cells and biology. Seems to be reorienting me back to my reverence for motherhood. Thanks for listening, I wish you all many blessings. Happy holidays.

post #26 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by tri31 View Post

Ugh, so I am confessing this month has it has been so difficult to be in love with my pregnant state. My dh is still stressed about being the sole provider to our growing family. I can't even talk to anyone about baby names, everyone seems to immediatly chime in " oh, just wait, we can't do this or were not going ...... next year." I am praying that all these doom and gloom projections begin to evaporate from my loved ones minds. 

If that were not enough I feel so unattractive. Everyone seems 10 pounds thinner and prettier, and I am pale and embarrased to admitt  my maternity clothes are actually my teen age sons hand me downs. I channel this stress into reorganizing the house. I am grateful I feel better than last week, and way better than the week before. So in an effort to distract myself from all this negativity I've been looking to some of my personal sources of inspiration. Yesterday, I came across this,

http://bhavanajagat.com/2010/09/13/the-divine-mother-of-life-energy-and-knowledge/

which is a spiritual interpertation of cells and biology. Seems to be reorienting me back to my reverence for motherhood. Thanks for listening, I wish you all many blessings. Happy holidays.

 

 

UM Hells YEAH awesome link!! Here I go to get all tangled up in that this morning! Thank you for the linky!

 

 

 

Don't worry about this doom and gloom...and don't you dare start looking at all of these pretty, thin people around you and feeling crappy about yourself. These people aren't nearly as thin and pretty as your self esteem is leading you to believe, first of all, and secondly...they'll all looking at you thinking "oh, look at her, she must have such a beautiful secret, look at how she glows".

 

And you do have a beautiful secret...a beautiful, marvelous, special special little person growing inside of you. So far as I'm concerned, you don't need a damned other person on this planet to know how blessed you all are to have this loving ball of light growing inside of you, the only people who need to know, KNOW FULL WELL and couldn't forget it for all the tea in China. Those two people are you and your little baby. Half in the spirit world, half in this world. Can't you feel how connected you are to that other side right now? As you are tethered to your baby in your womb, so is your heart tethered to your spirit babies heart, out in the heavens or wherever. You have something cosmically significant happening inside of you....you are growing a being, who will be delivered out of you, into the universe, and even if it is only in the most miniscule of wonderful ways, the place will never be as it was before you created this awesome child. <---- There is no utility bill, budget plan worry, holiday season or practical life worry that negates or diminishes the stellar truth of that even a little bit.

 

I understand your husbands worry....mine is worried, too. But you know it will all fall into place...look at how everything always unfolds as it should! Not always as we plan, but as it should. Don't feel so ugly, you are not. I don't even need to see your face, to know that you are so beautiful, as I can feel your loving heart and sadness from here. It's all going to be okay. These gloomy faces will start to grow so happy and proud when your belly is swelling and little kicks are coming rapid fire....and then, once the baby comes, you know that any reservations will melt away and there will be nothing but pure love for this creature of wonderfulness!!

 

I've been struggling too, with insecurity. I'm getting this weird pregnancy acne and I'm still in the "in between phase" where I'm definitely popping out, but it's small enough that in the wrong clothes I look like I just have a beer gut, etc etc. But look at me. Yeah, we're pretty low on funds right now.....but look at my warm house, my tasty food....my glowing children, dancing around, making everyone they meet happy. Look at my young, strong husband...with muscles and all his hair and white teeth. These are the GOLDEN YEARS! Haha. It sounds silly, I know...but look around you. Everyone is okay, your childrens bellies are full. You're living the dream, m'lady. We're so fortunate. That helps me to get through, thinking that way, when I see obviously childless, perfectly dressed and made up skinny young women...walking with purpose, clear headed and sure minded. So youthful and bouncy. No poop or vomit anywhere on them...just, free and happy and like, you know, they work out and shit. I sometimes feel frumpy and gross for a moment when I see them....but then I stop and I smile and remind myself that they could very well be lonely, or sick in ways we can't see or whatever else...or maybe they're not, maybe they are fantastically happy...and I wish that for them! But they are walking their paths and I am walking mine and mine has been paved with beautiful, special people and health and happiness and blessings beyond counting. So, I wish the skinny peppy ladies as much blessed living as I've had from my heart and I count my blessings and touch my belly and allow myself to bask in the glow of my many many blessings.

 

Everything is going to work out. You are beautiful.
 

 

post #27 of 27

Thanks,sniff.. I needed that. Time to start enjoying the my miracle.

peace.gif

 

 

 

 

 

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